First of all, one can approach the issue from a general viewpoint and talk about a basic rule for every general situation where a man and woman are out on a date.
Or...one can approach the issue with respect to this SPECIFIC situation, where it's about ME and THIS GIRL and all the specific details of OUR situation.
Clearly, Backbreaker is applying his GENERAL idea about the issue on my SPECIFIC situation, which is foolishness. He's assuming all kinds of untrue things and inserting all kinds of aspects to my situation which really don't apply.
Other guys on here have already adressed most of those things and I'm too tired to go into all of them anyway. Besides, I don't take Backbreaker seriously anymore since he started to go crazy on me out of nothing in the Anything Else section. I can't deny he has many valid insights and valuable comments on this site but the guy is not right in the head if you ask me...
Anyway, let me explain my view on this specific situation. Her behavior on Whatsapp last week is a critical element here... We were having a fun and playful conversation there and out of nothing she displayed a very strong emotional response, which was totally out of proportion, telling me she was gonna delete my number. This was a clear sign of someone with a serious personality disorder. Just like BPD's can erupt in a fit of rage just because you make some totally harmless comment.... (Now that I think of it, this is exactly what happened in the Anything Else section when Backbreaker suddenly went crazy on me...)
That conversation was about whether a woman has to prove herself to a man before he shows her his sweet side and treats her as best as he can. She responded to the matter as if she was literally fighting for her life, it was ridiculous. And she TURNED the conversation into this, she forced it upon me, she forced it into a confrontation while the conversation had been totally playful and innocent up until then.
So she clearly indicated having issues there and it was a situation where we came to a direct clash about the frame. She tried to force me to accept the idea that she doesn't have to prove anything to me and that she expects me to treat her like a princess unconditionally.
So when we were about to leave the bar and I asked her if she was gonna pay the next round, it was with the above in mind. We were having a great night and I was actually quite impressed with her, to the point where I told myself during the date: "Hey, I think I'm not just out to get into her panties. I think I like her more than that, I think we actually click!" Normally, I would've never even come up with the idea to ask a girl to pay the next round of drinks in such a situation. I liked her and we were having a great time, I would have gladly paid for her all night long.
But I was qualifying her with that question, I wanted to see how she'd respond in order to form an opinion about her and our situation. Things felt good between her and me, there were lots of moments where we were talking but really not listening to each other's words, coz our eyes were locked and we were losing ourselves in that mutual gaze at each other... The moment I asked about paying the drinks was somewhat of a test, like pinching yourself to see if you're not dreaming. I wanted to see if things were really as good as they felt to me... And boy, am I glad I did that. Coz I got a clear answer, that's for sure!
We were having a great night and building a connection to each other, it felt kinda special to me and I could tell that she was experiencing things the same way. It was there in the eyes and the smiles, the responses when we talked about a few personal, emotional matters... We had created that kind of mood where you just feel like holding each other's hands and look deep into each other's eyes, instead of just wanting to fvck, lol.
But hey, the more I think about all this, the more I realize that this girl was probably a cluster B psychobytch. In this mood, this situation we were in, no normal woman would've suddenly decided to go home because the guy innocently asked her if she wanted to pay the next round of drinks. She would've eagerly said yes or at worst she would've smiled and made a joke about it. The last thing she would've done, is get up and decide to go home all of a sudden, lol.
She's fvcking crazy and this situation was an exact repeat of the situation we found ourselves in last week on Whatsapp. A very sudden, disproportional emotional response which was totally out of sync with the situation. That's psychopath behavior, that's cluster B personality disorder behavior. If this kind of extreme drama shows up even before two people have met in real life and then again on their first "date", you can bet your azz that the guy needs to RUNNNNNNN FOREST RUNNNN!!!
I mean, these are red flags like no other. And I picked up others during the night, which I won't go into coz it's too much details that might be recognized by someone who reads on here and compromise my anonimity on here.
But to cut things short: I don't give a FVCK about what a man is supposed to do or don't on a first date. That's not the issue here at all. The issue is that I threw out a test and I got my answer. So I was absolutely right in bringing up the issue to her in this specific situation.
