Nash equilibrium says to ignore the hottest girl; seems to be true to an extent

[SW15]

With the rushed nature of speed dates, I have a hard enough time squeezing in an opening to hand out my card, let alone ask her out on a date right then and there (plus, after a 5 minute speed date, I'm not sure she'd have enough of a gauge either way of whether she'd like to date me...that's where the card comes into play, as it would give her a chance to chat with me some more before we decide whether to officially date)

Even though your idea to ask her out on an actual date in person sounds excellent, there's one downside: With the sheer amount of broads at a speed dating event, I'd come across as desperate if I asked out multiple broads on official dates (I say "multiple broads" because: Let's face it, I'd probably have to ask out more than one woman at the speed dating event before I got an acceptance)

That is a valid point. Speed dating is a tough format. In the past, speed dating events were set up so that you filled out a card after the event and then you found out who was a mutual match. It seems like some speed dating events have slightly changed formats over the years.

Speed dating is a form of a structured singles event. This forum has an excellent thread on structured singles events.

Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...

www.sosuave.net

I disagree that asking out multiple women at a venue makes a man look desperate. On regular bar nights (unstructured), it is common for a man to approach multiple women and ask out more than one woman at that venue. Then, there are also guys who daygame on streets, in parks, on paths, etc. Those daygamer guys will ask out multiple women at the same park or same grocery store in a day.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I've said this repeatedly over the years: When I grew up, people always said to ask out the pretty girl because all the guys are afraid to ask her out. Unfortunately, when I grew up, I found this to be absolute BS. Instead, the reality is, the prettiest girls are surrounded as guys fall all over each other trying to get to her. That's the actual truth.

Where and when I grew up, the women who sexualized themselves at early ages had no shortage of boys (and in some cases men, aged seventeen and older fvcking thirteen year old girls, which is statutory grape) they threw themselves at. No asking out necessary.

There are hardly any young, ordinary or attractive “single” women. As a young man I didn’t conclude that to get a “girlfriend,” a man has to steal one.

 

[HaleyBaron]

It's all a game. You either go over with the sharks to circle the hot girl, you choose the second hottest girl, you choose the third, you go for the bottom of the barrel, or you ignore all the women entirely.

All of them are options that you take. But you shouldn't focus on just one of them. Also, who is hot to one guy is not hot to another. A guy who doesn't like white girls will ignore the hot white woman for an average asian woman [if that is his thing]. You are not being clever when you ignore a girl. If you like her and she is available, obviously just wait till you get some time alone with her. If she is swarmed, just let the orbiters have their fun. No different from what happens in the real world with deals at supermarkets or when a celebrity walks through the street with people crowding them.

"If I just ignore the celebrity, I'm more valuable." See how silly that sounds?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Just smile at her mischievously while you observe the spectacle the puppies make for her.

Like this.

 

[GoodMan32]

That is a valid point. Speed dating is a tough format. In the past, speed dating events were set up so that you filled out a card after the event and then you found out who was a mutual match. It seems like some speed dating events have slightly changed formats over the years.

Speed dating is a form of a structured singles event. This forum has an excellent thread on structured singles events.

Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...

www.sosuave.net

I disagree that asking out multiple women at a venue makes a man look desperate. On regular bar nights (unstructured), it is common for a man to approach multiple women and ask out more than one woman at that venue. Then, there are also guys who daygame on streets, in parks, on paths, etc. Those daygamer guys will ask out multiple women at the same park or same grocery store in a day.

Yeah, the format of speed dating events has changed (if the events I attended are any indication)

Good point about the multiple ask outs. I suppose the key is to simply make sure you don't ask out multiple broads from the same group (at least that's a tip I learned in a YouTube vid)

 

[SW15]

Good point about the multiple ask outs. I suppose the key is to simply make sure you don't ask out multiple broads from the same group (at least that's a tip I learned in a YouTube vid)

Asking out multiple women from the same friend group is generally a bad idea. That tends to happen more in nightlife venues than non-bar venues. In non-bar approaching, it's more possible to approach women who are already isolated from others. However, women commonly will walk/hike a path in a group. On paths, when women are solo, they are more likely to be using earbuds/headphones.

In nightlife venues, there are often many women in a venue so it's possible to ask many women on dates or even ask a few to come home with you that night for same night sex. Same night sex is something that can happen off of nightlife approaches.

 

[The Diver]

When you're in a conversation with a woman and some guy tries to butt in, the best thing to do is to immediately rebuking the rude dildo for interrupting your conversation and return your attention on the woman.

I had this kind of interruption a few weeks ago when chatted with a woman in the pub after the music and the dance ended. A guy from our group came to us and interfered with our conversation. I said to the woman "Excuse me for a sec' ", I turned to the guy and said "Sorry mate but we ( me and the woman) like some privacy, if you don't mind". The guy said "Sorry" and backed off.
It happened to me before, and I did exactly the same. It's firm, clear and does the job without creating aggressive confrontation.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I didn't know you could draw, maybe you should become an artist. Then you wouldn't have to stay in the corner like a freak.

Nah, I don’t like drawing, and when I do I still make mistakes and miss stuff. This is the real version lmfao.

 

[Hal9000]

I've said this repeatedly over the years: When I grew up, people always said to ask out the pretty girl because all the guys are afraid to ask her out. Unfortunately, when I grew up, I found this to be absolute BS. Instead, the reality is, the prettiest girls are surrounded as guys fall all over each other trying to get to her. That's the actual truth.

Yeah the myth of the hot chick sitting at home all alone on Saturday night because men are too intimidated to ask them out is just that, a myth.

 

[Alvafe]

When you're in a conversation with a woman and some guy tries to butt in, the best thing to do is to immediately rebuking the rude dildo for interrupting your conversation and return your attention on the woman. Either she choses your side and sticks with conversing with you only, or she allows his impudence and you have a reason to end the conversation and give someone more deserving some of your attention and validation.

in general if a dude butt in, you just need to look at him, ignore and keep saying what you was saying before the interruption, if he still don't get it(with most will not), you can go for the rude way or just try to close him up fast, I ahd 2 issues with this, one he more or less would cut me and say let's leave, we ignored him 2 times the 3rd and jsut said then leave, he finally get the msg and did leave, the second after the 2nd interruption I said to her let' s go to quieter place

in the end its all about if she follows your lead, if she refuse well move on, just like you said

 

[Agamemnon43]

View attachment 13608

"They don't know that I'm on soSouave"

 

[Vanderdonck]

Ignoring the "hot" girl still treats her as hot. They are all mid or lower, treat them all the same. No woman is hotter than I.

 

[isasda66]

It's all a game. You either go over with the sharks to circle the hot girl, you choose the second hottest girl, you choose the third, you go for the bottom of the barrel, or you ignore all the women entirely.

So curious, the easy option is to go to the next hottest, what's your play if you decide to go against the other sharks on the hottest. Cause at that point, it seems difficult for anyone to isolate. Do you treat is similar to friend groups, where sometimes you just know that she isnt going to leave them so soon.

 

[HaleyBaron]

So curious, the easy option is to go to the next hottest, what's your play if you decide to go against the other sharks on the hottest. Cause at that point, it seems difficult for anyone to isolate. Do you treat is similar to friend groups, where sometimes you just know that she isnt going to leave them so soon.

The winning move is not to play. There's some guys who have a very heavy attitude and have no shame with just busting in and trying to one up everyone. Rather easy if you have high status or money. Or you have so many options that whether you get her or not makes no difference. It's just difficult to work against. At most, you will be just another guy there for her to smile and giggle at.

 

[isasda66]

The winning move is not to play. There's some guys who have a very heavy attitude and have no shame with just busting in and trying to one up everyone. Rather easy if you have high status or money. Or you have so many options that whether you get her or not makes no difference. It's just difficult to work against. At most, you will be just another guy there for her to smile and giggle at.

Makes sens. Cause if you go in it is mutually assured destruction. Not playing removes her from the pool, but at least youre not stroking her ego/dancing for her.

 

[Clockwerk50]

OP, when there's a significant discrepancy between men and women, just approach the situation confidently. Spit a little game, express your interest, and if she's interested in reciprocating and buying what you are selling, she’ll likely give you signals—like following you on social media, keeping the conversation going, asking for your number, trying to spend time with you, or even buying you a drink or dinner.

Just try to read her signals and make sure you do not overstay your welcome. She is not yours, it is only your turn, and that is for everyone that is trying to catch her attention.

However, if you're not chosen, don’t take it personally. You can’t win everyone over, and that’s okay.

 

[SexManiac]

You didn't get the message. You shouldn't ignore somebody with the hopes of getting something.

"If I ignore this hot woman, I'll get ger attention" not really, cause your words may not say anything, but your body language and the way you look at where she is, is saying something else. And women are built to detect that kind of incongruence.

If you need to play some game, it means you don't feel worthy of that girl. Get to a point where you ignore not on purpose, but that you're an awesome guy who is fun at parties that hangs out with everyone. That right there causes what you wrote about "ignore the hot girl"

yup that is 100% correct. and also debunk many of the PUA bull****. Women are hardwired to detect incongruency really well. I can confirm that cause I have been paying attention to what women are thinking or feeling when they are looking at me and i can tell how they are paying close attention to any even subtle incongruency. But they don't focus on that on purpose. They dont know they are thinking that. It is just nature doing its things

 

[New_Journey]

yup that is 100% correct. and also debunk many of the PUA bull****. Women are hardwired to detect incongruency really well. I can confirm that cause I have been paying attention to what women are thinking or feeling when they are looking at me and i can tell how they are paying close attention to any even subtle incongruency. But they don't focus on that on purpose. They dont know they are thinking that. It is just nature doing its things

I know man, its like a super power. Any kind of $hit test, any kind of jealousy you feel, any insecurity, any fear that men have, they sniff it out like is nobody's business.

That's why men fail, cause they think playing some game they can fool them, instead of becoming a masculine man who overcome their shortcomings which naturally projects confidence

 

[SexManiac]

instead of becoming a masculine man who overcome their shortcomings which naturally projects confidence

yes and actually poor of the guys who think there is another way around.