Myth of the old man...by 20 somethings?

[The Bat]

I truly feel bad for these 20 something guys who feel like they are washed up. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. They will allow themselves to slide into mediocrity.

But you know what? As much as it pisses me off at times how society is allowed to lie to men at the expense of men, I look at it as weeding out the competition. Guys like me who are shamed and laugh it off can do whatever we want, while the guys that buy into the feminist agenda tuck their tail between their legs, marry the first decent looking woman who will have them, and proceed to die a slow and unhappy death. Meantime, their wife hit the 4 or 7 year mark, gets an itch, and ends up jumping ME, the kind of guy who they love to shame.

Who wins in this? Women, and Alpha males. Who loses? The rest of the feminized male population.

Don't concern yourself with other people. Be your own man and let them remain ignorant. There is only so much room at the top.

Great post.

I'm doing exactly that - building my self and my own life. I don't want to build my life around anyone else because that person could not be there tomorrow and it will seem like my life is falling apart.

But some of these guys don't get it, and I'm afraid they never will.

And your last point is one of these harsh truths that is tough to face. Some of these guys are my dear friends and it sucks to see them destroy their lives this way. While at the same time, I keep thinking that I've done all I could to help improve their lives.

 

[squirrels]

This thread is interesting in that it's one of the things that comes into my head almost every day.

The last year or so of my life, I've been spending "making peace" with myself. I've been thinking about what it would mean if I never got laid again, and if I could somehow "be cool" with that. I'm coming up on 30 and I am still attracted to young women.

I of course don't see any reason why I couldn't hook up with a younger woman, but at my age, the social stigma is too strong to overcome. "A guy my age should be married and working on his first kid". Bullsh!t, we all know. But to put the time and the energy into overcoming that stigma just doesn't appeal to me. I'd rather spend it practicing jujitsu, or riding my motorcycle, or even writing. The things I'd be doing ANYWAY.

A lot of my old social circles have collapsed. The people I used to run with, they're all getting married and breeding now, "settling down". They have to work all the time, they have family sh!t to do all the time, etc.

A bunch of my friends from high school always used to gather on Sundays to play Ultimate Frisbee. Just for the hell of it. It was great exercise because we get awful competitive, plus it provided some excellent comraderie and a chance to break loose from all the social bullsh!t.

Now this one's kid has a ballet recital, this one's gotta have dinner at the parents' house, that one has a wedding to attend, the other one has to spend time with the girlfriend because she's feeling neglected. This one has to take care of some housework because he's been at work all week...

BALLS to that. You think I have nothing to do? It's these kind of events that make life worth living, and I think people are missing that.

I made a resolution long ago never to surrender my carefree spirit to an attitude of what I was "supposed" to be doing. But nowadays I find that leaves me pretty lonely. I don't identify with the younger generation that still has that youthful spirit...the generation gap is significant. But my generation is slowly falling into the same traps that our fathers and grandfathers have fallen into.

I see fewer and fewer people from my age group who have any passion for life any more. They're all trying to "hurry up and beat the game". I feel like one day they're going to finally "win" at life, and then spend a lot of time reminiscing.

Age...age is a matter of how far you bend in the wind. The wind of society blows all the time. Most people spend as long as they can trying to fight it, but eventually they either bend or they break. Age is how far you've been bent by the wind. That's all.

The whole f*cking thing is a joke. But if you see that it's a joke and try to tell other people that, they get scared of you and shun you.

People keep telling you all the horrible things that will happen to you if you stay single past 30 or 40 or 50, if you keep switching careers, if you do crazy **** like climb mountains or ride motorcycles.

It scares most people "into line". I've taken a different approach...I spend part of every day in thought, bracing myself for the horrors of being single or of making the "wrong" decisions because I swore to myself that I would not let myself get sucked into the "program".

As I said above...those things are already starting to happen. I'm a lot more lonely, and every day I feel myself drifting further away from, for example, women.

I haven't gotten "laid" in a year in a half. Probably haven't even dated in about a year. I've been spending that time learning to be lonely. Because if everyone else is correct, that's exactly the way I'll be, the way I'M going.

But I'm not going to be someone I'm not. I'm only ever going to be me, and I'm only ever going to be able to stay hungry for adventure, for spontanaiety (sp?), for fun, for getting out of the house, for living life on my own terms.

I made that choice a long time ago...and if the consequences are that I die lonely, then that is the way it shall be.

I still think they're wrong. But they certainly will make my life lonely by rejecting my way of life...so be it.

 

[STR8UP]

Yo squirrels-

You always have valuable insight, but I think you are trading one kind of trap for another. You are rejecting society's norms for what you believe is the only alternative- loneliness. There is a middle ground. You just have to get yourself into the right state of mind and find the right friends.

At 37, many of my friends are married with kids too. But they aren't DEAD.

Got invited to a sunday funday a couple of weeks ago at a friend's house. He has a wife and three kids, but that doesn't stop him from having some friends over to BBQ a feast, hang by the pool, drink some beer, and shoot the sh!t.

While there weren't a dozen bikini clad supermodels frolicking in the water, it was a fun, relaxing day. Expanded my social circle by meeting a couple of cool new people. It isn't ALL about trying to get laid or find a wife.

On the other side of the spectrum, another friend of mine from the same social circle is mid 30's, single, has a "modest" mansion with a game room and a pool on a lake (complete with ski boat), and M3, a crotch rocket, etc. This one DOES have a dozen 20 something bikini clad women frolicking in the water on any given sunday.

You aren't washed up at 30. Nothing wrong with having friends that have different lifestyles. Allows you to pick and choose when you wanna chill or when you want some action.

My advice to you- make some new friends. It sounds like that is your only problem. You are watching some of your old friends grow in a different direction and doing nothing to find some new ones. You are giving up. You ARE allowing society to dictate your life to you, because you don't see the happy medium. You are essentially saying "My friends are all grown up like society tells them to. I refuse to grow up, so therefore I have to get used to being lonely". Bullsh!t. Create your OWN reality.

We are a lot alike in that I don't date around a lot, and if I go for a long stretch without getting laid it isn't that big of a deal to me. I'm used to my life being a yo-yo where I have all the time in the world for a year, and then I have to work insane hours and have no life for six months. So I have learned to live with whatever direction life takes me.

The difference between us is that I don't EVER see myself being lonely, no matter what. I have never had the "marriage as a goal" mentality, and never had the "relationship as a goal" mentality, but at one time I DID feel odd and out of place when I wasn't in a relationship.

You just have to get yourself past thinking that alone=lonely. Find yourself some new friends and enjoy life for whatever it is at the moment. You have some control over things, but ultimately the world is going to unfold around as it will. No reason to be depressed about women being the way they are.

Embrace it. Embrace everything.

 

[The Bat]

Holy $hit squirrels, that post depressed the hell out of me...I'm going to have to go cut myself now. :kick:

Sounds like you're living too much in your head. And you need new friends for sure.

Also, stop measuring your life against the lives of those around you. You are only feeling lonely because you see everyone else with "a special someone". Little do you know, 90% of those guys (and gals) are even more lonelier than you because they can't just get up and leave everything behind and they don't have the freedom to do what they want to truly do.

Remember that Marine friend of mine whose wife cheated on him (I made that thread at NLG)? He told me that he is finally able to do stuff that he couldn't do when he was married.

How pathetic is that? Last I checked, marriage wasn't supposed to restrict the man or the woman's freedom....yes, it limits some opportunities and options, but it shouldn't make the married person feel that they are in some sort of prison.

Would you want to feel that lonely?