My wife and her wandering eyes

[BackInTheGame78]

It's nothing about that. It's all about the bonding receptors in her brain not being totally burned and corrupted by too many sexual encounters to the point she can't bond with a man anymore, like your random attention h0e after the c0ck carousel. Virgins are of 'good stock' and giving you better odds if you choose to engage in a LTR/marriage.

That's just BS bro.

 

[Epic Days]

IVirgins are of 'good stock' and giving you better odds if you choose to engage in a LTR/marriage.

Slvts were virgins once. I think what you are writing could work in a vacuum. But her friends telling her stories of their rampage fukkery will entice her into slvtville in most cases.

A woman molds to her environment in order to be accepted and survive. That environment is, in large part, your enemy.

 

[bcude]

That's just BS bro.

I'm afraid not, many studies have shown that after having 10 or more sexual partners, the odds of divorce goes up tremendously compared to just 1 sexual partner. You're asking why virgins are considered good, that's why.

 

[Epic Days]

I'm afraid not, many studies have shown that after having 10 or more sexual partners, the odds of divorce goes up tremendously compared to just 1 sexual partner. You're asking why virgins are considered good, that's why.

Are we talking divorce or secret affairs and parking lot BJs?
There are plenty of women who would not and will not divorce but will have a quick affair or svck in a heart beat.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm afraid not, many studies have shown that after having 10 or more sexual partners, the odds of divorce goes up tremendously compared to just 1 sexual partner. You're asking why virgins are considered good, that's why.

Again. Partially because the don't know the guy sucks in the bedroom. If you are that afraid of being able to keep them attracted as a man then don't get married.

Wanting a virgin = I have no confidence in myself.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

I agree with @Atom Smasher about conditioning her out of this. I like the “what’s so interesting over there” approach.

How old was she when you met her? How old when you married?

One of my sisters (who was a Division 1 NCAA cheerleader at a major university for 4 years *hot by any standard*) married her college sweetheart, and 2nd man she ever knew sexually...we used to go running together frequently. She would admire nice looking men here and there and used to say:

“Married...not blind...”

She has character and has been loyal to her husband now for almost 25 years. But this idea that you never appreciate a specimen of the opposite sex EVER is silly. Look at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition each year.

Another brother-in-law of mine openly admires the occasional Victoria’s Secret model. Big deal. My sister isn’t worried about it at all.

Loyalty is a choice. Sexual commitment and monogamy is a choice. If the OP’s wife is choosing commitment to him and monogamy to him that’s the biggest thing.

If her noticing others bugs you, train her out of it as noted. Apply some silence & distance but explain why if asked. You don’t want to appear insecure.

My guy admires other women at times. He’ll say, “Wow that’s a gorgeous woman...” and he’s typically objectively correct. I simply agree and drive on. He’s with me after all so why should I be worried...

It’s kind of like appreciating a beautiful car even if you love what you drive.

I think divorcing over this is an over reaction. Just my two cents.

See if you can train her out of it first. The first year of marriage is an adjustment, especially for the very young & inexperienced.

 

[bcude]

Look at all the articles written by single, frustrated women who just want to settle down with a 'good man' when they reach their mid thirties, only to realise they can't bond or be as aroused by him as she was by the man who alpha widowed her in her twenties, the guy she gave her best sex to.
Would you rather have a brand new car where you get the best mileage or an old used one with broken interior who you cant drive at maximum speed anymore?
I agree that women listen to 'the herd' and shape their realities from their surroundings, but if you get to her early she will fall into your frame and your world and be more receptive to be molded and loyal to you. There's no coincidence that good women get taken early and stay off the market. It's about starting out with the best odds and that's one of the reasons, because low sexual count make for better partners.

 

[metalwater]

I have been on a LDR with this girl for almost 4 years. We are married for almost 2 months now which means she has been living with me for 2 months.

Now I married this woman on the basis that 1) she is a virgin and 2) she was, to my understanding, somewhat innocent.

Having been up close with her for 2 months now I have come across an issue that does not sit right with me. Now I knew about this red flag to an extent before I married her but I ignored it as a minor thing. However, now i look back and think that maybe it isnt so minor.

What's the issue?

Well she has wondering eyes. Everytime I've been out with her she seems to need validation from a guy that is somewhat decent looking.

The 1st time she did this I was very confrontational about it. Why? Because its downright disrespectful. Doing it in my presence and doing it so blatantly. Almost as though she is inviting the dude. A glance is one thing, but to constantly seek out the same guys attention is another.

Having confronted her quite harshly, i realised very quickly how that was the biggest mistake. The constant denial from her end only made me look highly insecure.

Now every time I go out I notice it. I try ignore it but it doesnt sit correct with me. Only recently we were at an event and I noticed the same thing. She realised I noticed but in the end I never brought it up to her.

I've been keeping my distance with her and she KNOWS exactly why I am keeping the distance but seems to be baffled by my cold approach. I haven't brought it up to her as the 1st time I did it made no difference and I know if I do shell just deny it.

I'm in a pickle.

Although many may think its something to just ignore, for me its not. You may think it's a beta position to take but it doesnt sit right with me. I am contemplating leaving this girl but given I'm married now it's only embarrassing for me in front of my friends and peers as I've only just married the lady.

Your input would be appreciated.

I can relate to your complaint. If it bothers you, it will always bother you. Not something you will learn to accept. Some guys don't care for whatever are there reasons. For example they are so strong or experienced or whatever, if your not that and this bothers you It will always bother you. Two choices... you walk or she changes behavior. All other choices lead to you being unhappy, your unhappiness will open the door for her to be unhappy. An unhappy flirty wife will not be loyal. If you have not already, take a look at married red pill on reddit. Read all the stuff, and follow the MAP plan. Doing this will either make your problem worse or better, the worst thing for you is if it just stays the same and your always frustrated. If you find her cheating, walk hard. The day she accepts another man inside she is dead to you, as that is a no return no excuse disrespect to you. Track her cycle, you can notice if she is acting differently at different times of the month. If she is going to cheat it will likely be at ovulation or just after, the guys she is flirting with will figure all that out... Many of the other guys, even ones that you like to trust will do her in a second, if she allows it. It is just how it is.

Many will tell you to just ignore her and project strength and value... Well, thats is ok if you can do it. Based on what you write likely if you ignore her, you will still be suffer inside from the situation.

Sorry you have to deal with this. Lots of guys on this board that have had the same and worse treatment, that is why they are hear. I can say that there are tones of 30, 40ish women that are in "complicated" relationships looking to date Chad or Chad Light or even you married or not.

Do not buy into the "your insecure". There is NO Fcking reason that your wife should be the cause of feeling insecure. Also there is no reason for you to ever be convinced to TRUST if you don't feel it. She has the power and ability to completely make your feel secure and that you can trust her, she just has to want to.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

1.5 out of ten in Muslim countries? Their father is not who they think it is.

It’s around 2 out of ten in western countries.

What is your source for this?

 

[Epic Days]

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@Atom Smasher could please get rid of this attention seeking slvt.

 

[Spaz]

Glass he cant go backwards now. He already married her.
Yes he could go for a dissolution of the marriage. And that might be the best option but would it be as bad if his game wasn't this shytty?

OP your fixation on her flirting is a major red flag on your manhood. I think ANY decent girl will be doing this to you.

From the story im fairly certain her view of her sexual satisfaction is low.

That's too simplistic.

Next time when u r walking with ur wife, take note of any couples passing by, ur wife will most certainly look at the man 1st then at his wife/girl even if its briefly.

Will you then say ur wife sexual satisfaction towards you is low ?

OP needs to state clearly or understand clearly her intent.

If she ogles at men indiscriminately, that would be unacceptable.

 

[Spaz]

He was fairly clear. His reaction tells all

A very jealous man would display the same or even see what's not there.

I don't know how many times I've seen jealous men destroying their own relationships with really good women.

 

[Spaz]

Yep and which will further her attraction towards something more stable.

Of course.

Which is why I questioned OP's frame 1st.

That's the indicator or precursor of when an actual good woman is being pushed to leave her man.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Tapas, talaq, talaq.


I got a question, how do you know that she’s actually a virgin?

If she really was a virgin, then get a second wife, and wait a while. If you find that she is still looking at other men after a few months, tell her that you need to divorce her because you like your other wife more and that will cause you to treat her unjustly. Then say that because such a thing is prohibited, say that you are divorcing her for the sake of God. There’s your rationale.

If our don’t like this either, I suggest another option:
Work on your own physical attractiveness, and be sure to up your sex game. Make sure that you’re giving her tons of heavy orgasms. I have a feeling that she’s one of those sexually repressed types who are unenthusiastic. If that’s also the case, start being more exciting and more ‘dirty’ with her. If she rejects it or disgusted, and nothing really changed, then I’d say to cut your losses and get with someone else. Explain to your family what’s happening and ask what they think you should do about it first. They probably won’t tell you anything that’s really useful, but at least then they’ll know what’s up. That way, your family won’t look down on you as much. Only problem is that they might talk to your wife’s side of the family, and that can create drama and make you seem more insecure. But I’d say to do it anyway if you’re pretty much gaurunteed of divorcing, because it’s not like it would matter at that point.

 

[Ceaserofnone]

That's too simplistic.

Next time when u r walking with ur wife, take note of any couples passing by, ur wife will most certainly look at the man 1st then at his wife/girl even if its briefly.

Will you then say ur wife sexual satisfaction towards you is low ?

OP needs to state clearly or understand clearly her intent.

If she ogles at men indiscriminately, that would be unacceptable.

Oggles. Thats what she does. Ive noticed it with nearly every guy. At first i thought it was attraction now i thin kits purely validation because you cant be doing that with every guy surely. It seems to me she needs men to watch her. Please note she isnt highly attractive.

Whats interesting is we had a discussion about men and women and how they validate themselves. Funnily enough she herself said how certain women look at other good looking guys and get annoyed if the dude doesnt check them out because that means she isnt good looking herself. Note she was saying this implying she isnt one of them lol.

 

[Ceaserofnone]

Were is she from? Is she a Citizen of your country or no?

citizen of my country, yes.

 

[Spaz]

Oggles. Thats what she does. Ive noticed it with nearly every guy. At first i thought it was attraction now i thin kits purely validation because you cant be doing that with every guy surely. It seems to me she needs men to watch her. Please note she isnt highly attractive.

Whats interesting is we had a discussion about men and women and how they validate themselves. Funnily enough she herself said how certain women look at other good looking guys and get annoyed if the dude doesnt check them out because that means she isnt good looking herself. Note she was saying this implying she isnt one of them lol.

If ur wife oggles at men indiscriminately (meaning it's even obvious to those men) and right in ur presence, taking no care as to ur reputation nor honor as a man, then it is unacceptable and you must immediately take action.

You need to set down the law. There are some lines that cannot be broken nor negotiated.

One of them is this.

Warn her once, tell her you will dismiss her immediately if she dares to disrespect you again.

Or if you like, just simply state that if she does it again, you will take it as a confirmed sign that she wants an immediate divorce.

 

[Ceaserofnone]

If ur wife oggles at men indiscriminately (meaning it's even obvious to those men) and right in ur presence, taking no care as to ur reputation nor honor as a man, then it is unacceptable and you must immediately take action.

You need to set down the law. There are some lines that cannot be broken nor negotiated.

One of them is this.

Warn her once, tell her you will dismiss her immediately if she dares to disrespect you again.

Or if you like, just simply state that if she does it again, you will take it as a confirmed sign that she wants an immediate divorce.

I wont say she does it in my face but i can see in my peripheral view. Im aware of it so its always there. Anytime a dude is there i judge her reaction etc.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Some aware Alpha's TEACH them like a dog that it's a bad thing to do. They TEACH them by doing it right back even more powerfully and aggressively.

 

[Ceaserofnone]

Sounds to me you may have a security issue here. I would need more info on the situation.
More background that might have fed this.

I know i am an observant individual. O pick up on body language very well. Ive always been told this and many times when Im walking im just really watching people and their reactions and I tend to always like to make a judgment on what they are feeling etc. I tend to be right. If im sitting with friends and I notice the slightest hand reactions (like someone slapping their thighs with both hands when theyve said a joke in a group) and i see that as someone being nervous straight away. I always see little tell tell signs that tell me certain things about someone.

Now with her I never noticed it until a year before i married her. We sat in a chicken place and a dude walked in looking quite slick. now she looked towards him a few times but i never thought too much of it. Its only when he walked out that i saw her touching her hair and then sneaking a look towards him as soon as he walks right past her. Thats when I got the red flag. Thereafter I noticed it again a few times with other dudes. This is where my suspicion first started.

After that I noticed it on my frikking wedding day. I just see my brothers body language. Like he keeps looking back at her. Too many times. I notice when we get home after the wedding hes walking past her looking her way, stopping looking around and then quickly looking her way again. I noticed that its not him thats initiating it, its her. i know my bro very well he would never do that until he thought she was doing it. All i can do on that day now is notice her body language. It wasnt good.

The next time was when we went to watch a movie. Shes sitting opposite me. Im just chilling until realise shes looking behind me. I dont think too much of it until i see her doing it again, and again. Not just quicjly looking but holding gaze. I look back and i see a dude there where his mate, also looking her way but quickly looking away when he realised i was watching. I called her out on it.

The next big time it happened was when i was at a wedding. Shes with me. Dude wearing hood clothes (at a frikking wedding) walks past and i see her quickly look his way. Ping, i get in to observant mode. I look around and i see the **** looking her way. I look at him and he panics. Nontheless, it didnt stop there. the **** walks up and down two three times. I notice my wifes body language. Too obvious.

These are the main times ive noticed it. There are other times too but they are passing by type.