My view of dating is kind of dying or changing

[AttackFormation]

Seriously. It is our fault for not taking the time to become socially calibrated in late teens I guess.

You passed up on some girls you would've liked to be with in retrospect?

 

[AttackFormation]

In college yes but I had no game or social calibration, just focused on career. College is really your last chance to be around a lot of high value women, early 20s to a degree if you prioritize it.

Yeah if I don't find anyone now throughout university then I can finally put any aspirations of it to rest like you guys have lol. Am not expecting it to happen either, but we'll see.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I like golf actually but it is frustrating haha

me too; its the ultimate mental game. I love the focus you need. I'm going to the driving range tonight to relax.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Have any advice for game improvement irons or otherwise? I want to buy used to keep the cost down bc I don't play enough, but would like a good brand.

I actually use a noname brand of clubs that was an inexpensive xmas gift from someone. Tonight I'm taking an assortment of drivers to see which ones I like the best. One of them is an old P ing so I'm excited to try that one. (someone wanted me to have their old clubs so I just took a few drivers to experiment with)
It takes me a long time to buy namebrand " good " sporting equipment. Even when my income was triple what it is now, I only ever bought namebrand x-country skiis, not clubs yet.

I grew up with hippy, frugal parents that always bought used from thrift stores for us.

I think C allahan? is supposed to be a good club maker.


As for technique, I remember being more comfortable with a 3 'wood' driver than a 1. I remember using the higher number irons for the long fairway shots after the tee (7 and 8 iron) and a large face putter for the green.

(I haven't played a full round of golf in awhile now....I miss it)

 

[daproest1]

Thats what happens with time, women get less pleasable to deal with and less able to bond while they increase their baggage; men on the other side get used to sex and that alone is no longer a motivation to tolerate sub optimal company and people they have nothing in common with.

Dont wanna sound too cinical but good healthy relations happen when the woman is still innocent enough and able to bond while the man is still "naive" and his brain still willing to put up with a certain degree of drama and work.

This happens when a girl before her mid 20s and a guy before his early 30s bond and grow togheter sharing most of high impact experiences togheter wheter its serious dating, having free emotional sex with each other and so on.

When the girl gets pumped&dumped from many chads while using betas for pleasures and the guy is used to see through the bullsh1t and play accordingly, they are no longer able to form a proper couple...even more when she is expiring and he needs peace more than validation.

Absolutely true. That’s my oneitis. It was the girl sure. But also, in my brain, I just know it won’t be the same anymore with anyone. I was 25 and she was 21 when we met. I was 31 and she was 27 when she split. Such a shame.

 

[The Don]

I've been talking and dating some women lately, some hit on me and even showed a high-interest level... The more I become better physically and emotionally it gots easier.

But I'm observing those dates, in general, it seems so dirty... Having sex is good for a moment pleasure, but I'm feeling disgusted with how things are going nowadays.

Tired of games, of gold diggers, of liars, committed women that tells that they are single until you find that out, crazy ones...

The fact is, the more I met some women out there and see how things are going, I'm getting sick of it. Not on a point to get married or settle down, cause I don't believe in that anymore. It seems better to be alone and choose carefully even casual dates and sex.

I just see how weird and dirt those things are, and it seems a waste of time. I also understand that it's a natural desire and I will never stop having this desire for sex, cause this is what it is.

Also, when I'm going towards my purposes... I felt energized. But some dates, I went off feeling a low level of energy after that. And of course, a few ones were good... but it's so few dates that I felt a good energy.

With friends, the same... Have some that when we go to hang out is such a great time, the share of ideas and it makes you energized. Also, there are some guys I used to hang out and used to felt drained after that.

Maybe some belief or fantasy is dying inside me, and a new understanding will come... but that's so weird.

Yeah, I can relate to you with what you going through. Kind of feeling the same way. I choose the woman I date carefully as I don't want to be de-railed off my path. I never used to be this careful. I used to just jump in and go for it. After becoming more experienced with woman, I value my time a lot more.

Also beauty and sex no longer has sway over me, I have learned to control my emotions, my thoughts and my desires. I have learned to master my mind and change my thoughts. Before, every woman I would meet, sex was the first thing on my mind, and the last thing. All my thoughts revolved around sex. I came to realize my mind was obsessed with it. For the past several years, I have learned to clear it, life has literally done a 180 in all areas since then.

I value myself and my time so much now, heck I actually value my life, where before I didn't even care if I died.

Now that I have found value and purpose in my life, I no longer take it for granted.

I now do my own tests with woman before I even decide dating them. Watch out for those that suck your energy. The reason why they suck your energy is because your on a higher vibration than they are, you just need to find woman that are on your vibrational level. There not bad people, there just at a different stage in life compared to where you are and they don't resonate with you.

As you grow, your choices get pretty small, its a shame, we are leaving a lot of woman behind, they need to catch up. But I ain't waiting around, I am still learning and growing and will continue to do so until the day I die.

 

[Blacksheep]

Yeah, I can relate to you with what you going through. Kind of feeling the same way. I choose the woman I date carefully as I don't want to be de-railed off my path. I never used to be this careful. I used to just jump in and go for it. After becoming more experienced with woman, I value my time a lot more.

Also beauty and sex no longer has sway over me, I have learned to control my emotions, my thoughts and my desires. I have learned to master my mind and change my thoughts. Before, every woman I would meet, sex was the first thing on my mind, and the last thing. All my thoughts revolved around sex. I came to realize my mind was obsessed with it. For the past several years, I have learned to clear it, life has literally done a 180 in all areas since then.

I value myself and my time so much now, heck I actually value my life, where before I didn't even care if I died.

Now that I have found value and purpose in my life, I no longer take it for granted.

I now do my own tests with woman before I even decide dating them. Watch out for those that suck your energy. The reason why they suck your energy is because your on a higher vibration than they are, you just need to find woman that are on your vibrational level. There not bad people, there just at a different stage in life compared to where you are and they don't resonate with you.

As you grow, your choices get pretty small, its a shame, we are leaving a lot of woman behind, they need to catch up. But I ain't waiting around, I am still learning and growing and will continue to do so until the day I die.

Just said everything man!

I'm paying a lot of attention on those things. Energy proved to me that is a serious thing and the ones we allow to be around will resonate that energy to you.

Also I found that my guy is a great friend most of times. So I learning to listen to that more times.

Controlling emotions and those sexual desires is not a easy task. But it worth to become more aware and learn to control. It put us on a better position to achieve our goals.

 

[death_wish. .]

I've been talking and dating some women lately, some hit on me and even showed a high-interest level... The more I become better physically and emotionally it gots easier.

But I'm observing those dates, in general, it seems so dirty... Having sex is good for a moment pleasure, but I'm feeling disgusted with how things are going nowadays.

Tired of games, of gold diggers, of liars, committed women that tells that they are single until you find that out, crazy ones...

The fact is, the more I met some women out there and see how things are going, I'm getting sick of it. Not on a point to get married or settle down, cause I don't believe in that anymore. It seems better to be alone and choose carefully even casual dates and sex.

I just see how weird and dirt those things are, and it seems a waste of time. I also understand that it's a natural desire and I will never stop having this desire for sex, cause this is what it is.

Also, when I'm going towards my purposes... I felt energized. But some dates, I went off feeling a low level of energy after that. And of course, a few ones were good... but it's so few dates that I felt a good energy.

With friends, the same... Have some that when we go to hang out is such a great time, the share of ideas and it makes you energized. Also, there are some guys I used to hang out and used to felt drained after that.

Maybe some belief or fantasy is dying inside me, and a new understanding will come... but that's so weird.

don't feel bad about it , its just the natural order of things ...women are natural plate spinners .
the fantasy inside you was supposed to die, that was the beta dying. it's a part of maturing as a man , realizing the nature of women and accepting it. try not to be disappointed in women , and still love them but never 'FALL'' IN LOVE with them. thats why your purpose energizes because you realize sex is only short term pleasure , its not valuable at all. sex is everywhere. but an investment in yourself is going to grow your self confidence and you will love yourself more and more.

as for male friends go, the guys that drain you should be avoided. not all guys are your friend. soon as you get locked up or go away for a long time they will try to bang your wife or girlfriend then smile in your face, party and freeload off you , etc.

be glad the beta is dying , this is an awakening as a man making you more aware of how things are in reality, you have unplugged from the matrix my friend.

you're on the right path , keep it casual and be careful. luckily the beta died before you got involved with kids or baby mommas, or do you have any?

 

[Blacksheep]

don't feel bad about it , its just the natural order of things ...women are natural plate spinners .
the fantasy inside you was supposed to die, that was the beta dying. it's a part of maturing as a man , realizing the nature of women and accepting it. try not to be disappointed in women , and still love them but never 'FALL'' IN LOVE with them. thats why your purpose energizes because you realize sex is only short term pleasure , its not valuable at all. sex is everywhere. but an investment in yourself is going to grow your self confidence and you will love yourself more and more.

as for male friends go, the guys that drain you should be avoided. not all guys are your friend. soon as you get locked up or go away for a long time they will try to bang your wife or girlfriend then smile in your face, party and freeload off you , etc.

be glad the beta is dying , this is an awakening as a man making you more aware of how things are in reality, you have unplugged from the matrix my friend.

you're on the right path , keep it casual and be careful. luckily the beta died before you got involved with kids or baby mommas, or do you have any?

Thats true man!

I also have a son (one night fck), it happened before meeting this forum and tha rational male. I would like to meet this place 10 years ago! I would have avoid so many stuffs.

And I can see this beta side dying... So many beliefs that is gone and what I'm learning here opened my eyes in such positive way.

And luckly I never get married. It's hard to deal with the mother of my son, but its not the end of the World. She is a pain in the ass sometimes and keep trying to have sex or get involved with me. Such annoying. But as soon as a move out this town, it would help a lot.

I realized that I cant have so much contact with him for now as he is very young. And staying around his mother and also how my dad is using the situation against me. The best move is to move as far as possible from this town.

 

[Blacksheep]

We're around the same age, yet you seem a lot more depressed about this than I am.
I have also found that meaningless flings are...well...meaningless.
Sexual satisfaction often gives you buyer's remore, as I feel like I am quite a different man before/after sex.

To me, finding a woman that I really enjoy spending time with after sex is much more rewarding than 100 one-night-stands.

Try to screen women better and go for the ones that you care about, not just those interested in you.
I also keep myself active, playing lots of sports, and I feel a lot more relaxed and overall happy.

Thats true!

I'm working on this too... Some periods I have some bad days when I caught me thinking on a negative way. But in overall I'm improving a lot.

Find a woman like that is way more enjoyable. I don't think theres much in this town I live... but I've met some nice women in some towns near mine.

I'm focusing now on calisthenics and want to find a hobbie too... Everytime I finished my workout I felt awesome. And the weeks I didn't workout I started to observe my mood not so good. So exercising is something amazing.

 

[death_wish. .]

Thats true man!

I also have a son (one night fck), it happened before meeting this forum and tha rational male. I would like to meet this place 10 years ago! I would have avoid so many stuffs.

And I can see this beta side dying... So many beliefs that is gone and what I'm learning here opened my eyes in such positive way.

And luckly I never get married. It's hard to deal with the mother of my son, but its not the end of the World. She is a pain in the ass sometimes and keep trying to have sex or get involved with me. Such annoying. But as soon as a move out this town, it would help a lot.

I realized that I cant have so much contact with him for now as he is very young. And staying around his mother and also how my dad is using the situation against me. The best move is to move as far as possible from this town.

congratulations! atleast you have a boy i messed around and had a daughter
. yup you are right , the older he gets the less and less contact with the mother is needed.

eventually you wouldnt even have to say anything to her. moving away is a good idea. rollo talked about this in rational male , the real degree of power as a man is the degree to which you control your own life.
many men stick in toxic relationships just for the kids, and thats not right.

 

[Blacksheep]

congratulations! atleast you have a boy i messed around and had a daughter
. yup you are right , the older he gets the less and less contact with the mother is needed.

eventually you wouldnt even have to say anything to her. moving away is a good idea. rollo talked about this in rational male , the real degree of power as a man is the degree to which you control your own life.
many men stick in toxic relationships just for the kids, and thats not right.

That's true!

I don't have much expectations about having a good relationship with him. I have a very toxic parents (a lot of narc traits) and my dad is already seeding some negative ideas about me to my son. But I still hope in the future he can see things clearly and we could have a good relationship.

Its definitely not worth to stay around in toxic relationships only for the kid. It can be way worse. My therapist talked about this with me in the last session.

And my dad made such bullsh1t with his defamation campaigns, telling everyone in this small town that my son doesn't have a father. And showing how great he is and how he is taking care of him. He is only a trophy to my dad.

So this defamation campaign generates some hate on me by some people (flying monkeys). It's being also difficult to meet woman here, since what he did.

Hopefully, a lot of people also know him and a lot got caught on his abuses too. So he is kinda showing his face without no effort. Just being himself.

The good thing about that is that I sleep everyday with my mind clear, that I'm not doing anything wrong with my son and I would never be like my dad to him. Even bein distant in his first years, I know that I would never be so perverse and so evil as my dad.

My plans to move out will have to be earlier than I imagined.

I hope and wish that you don't have this kind of problems with your daughter and that you can have a good relationship with her.

 

[death_wish. .]

That's true!

I don't have much expectations about having a good relationship with him. I have a very toxic parents (a lot of narc traits) and my dad is already seeding some negative ideas about me to my son. But I still hope in the future he can see things clearly and we could have a good relationship.

Its definitely not worth to stay around in toxic relationships only for the kid. It can be way worse. My therapist talked about this with me in the last session.

And my dad made such bullsh1t with his defamation campaigns, telling everyone in this small town that my son doesn't have a father. And showing how great he is and how he is taking care of him. He is only a trophy to my dad.

So this defamation campaign generates some hate on me by some people (flying monkeys). It's being also difficult to meet woman here, since what he did.

Hopefully, a lot of people also know him and a lot got caught on his abuses too. So he is kinda showing his face without no effort. Just being himself.

The good thing about that is that I sleep everyday with my mind clear, that I'm not doing anything wrong with my son and I would never be like my dad to him. Even bein distant in his first years, I know that I would never be so perverse and so evil as my dad.

My plans to move out will have to be earlier than I imagined.

I hope and wish that you don't have this kind of problems with your daughter and that you can have a good relationship with her.

i know all too well about the deformation campaign's , my grandmother has been deforming my character all my life.

this is why you have to get away bro , i hope you succeed in all of your goals and rise above all and have a great relationship with your son, my mother and grandmother had a very dysfunctional , co-dependant relationship, they bashed my father all the time but i pretty much ignored it cause i never heard his side of the story. and i saw with my own eyeshow they were. grandmother was a feminist , controlling , manipulative b1tch and pretty much the worst person ive ever met in my life. my mother didnt care about anything except hooking up with guys. my brother is a blue pilled beta and blames my dad for not staying, even tho he has our dad on facebook and can reach out at any point, its kinda sad how brainwashed he has become.

unfortunately i havent seen my daughter since my mother died, my ex. was very toxic and we broke it off and it ended very badly,she took me to court while i was broke and got full custody , i couldnt make it to the airport in time and missed the dates.
the good thing is she lets me facetime her whenever i want, so i will continue to do that until she gets older , these type of things always work out eventually , its put a fire in my belly and motivated me to conquer all obstacles.

 

[Blacksheep]

i know all too well about the deformation campaign's , my grandmother has been deforming my character all my life.

this is why you have to get away bro , i hope you succeed in all of your goals and rise above all and have a great relationship with your son, my mother and grandmother had a very dysfunctional , co-dependant relationship, they bashed my father all the time but i pretty much ignored it cause i never heard his side of the story. and i saw with my own eyeshow they were. grandmother was a feminist , controlling , manipulative b1tch and pretty much the worst person ive ever met in my life. my mother didnt care about anything except hooking up with guys. my brother is a blue pilled beta and blames my dad for not staying, even tho he has our dad on facebook and can reach out at any point, its kinda sad how brainwashed he has become.

unfortunately i havent seen my daughter since my mother died, my ex. was very toxic and we broke it off and it ended very badly,she took me to court while i was broke and got full custody , i couldnt make it to the airport in time and missed the dates.
the good thing is she lets me facetime her whenever i want, so i will continue to do that until she gets older , these type of things always work out eventually , its put a fire in my belly and motivated me to conquer all obstacles.

Sad to hear that man! Defamation campaign is something really really toxic.

I also wish you succeed in all your goals! You seem to be a nice person and deserves that!

For those toxic people, lets just stay as far away as possible!! We should use our time here with people and things that can aggregate value to our lives.

 

[The Don]

i know all too well about the deformation campaign's , my grandmother has been deforming my character all my life.

this is why you have to get away bro , i hope you succeed in all of your goals and rise above all and have a great relationship with your son, my mother and grandmother had a very dysfunctional , co-dependant relationship, they bashed my father all the time but i pretty much ignored it cause i never heard his side of the story. and i saw with my own eyeshow they were. grandmother was a feminist , controlling , manipulative b1tch and pretty much the worst person ive ever met in my life. my mother didnt care about anything except hooking up with guys. my brother is a blue pilled beta and blames my dad for not staying, even tho he has our dad on facebook and can reach out at any point, its kinda sad how brainwashed he has become.

unfortunately i havent seen my daughter since my mother died, my ex. was very toxic and we broke it off and it ended very badly,she took me to court while i was broke and got full custody , i couldnt make it to the airport in time and missed the dates.
the good thing is she lets me facetime her whenever i want, so i will continue to do that until she gets older , these type of things always work out eventually , its put a fire in my belly and motivated me to conquer all obstacles.

Yep, understand what you mean. Had a similar family issue. My Grandma ruled the roost, and would tell my mum what to do instead of discussing it with my dad.
It got to the point where they split up and I ended up living with my mum. I learnt to be alpha pretty quick from that point on. I didn't understand the full dynamics then but I had to work and help provide for my mum at a young age.
Turned me into a man pretty quick and I would butt heads with my mum to no end. I wouldn't let her push me around. Even today I keep a firm stance whenever she tries to interfere in my life.

 

[Trez]

Thats true man!

I also have a son (one night fck), it happened before meeting this forum and tha rational male. I would like to meet this place 10 years ago! I would have avoid so many stuffs.

And I can see this beta side dying... So many beliefs that is gone and what I'm learning here opened my eyes in such positive way.

And luckly I never get married. It's hard to deal with the mother of my son, but its not the end of the World. She is a pain in the ass sometimes and keep trying to have sex or get involved with me. Such annoying. But as soon as a move out this town, it would help a lot.

I realized that I cant have so much contact with him for now as he is very young. And staying around his mother and also how my dad is using the situation against me. The best move is to move as far as possible from this town.

Is the mother ok looking? Why do you dislike her?

 

[death_wish. .]

Sad to hear that man! Defamation campaign is something really really toxic.

I also wish you succeed in all your goals! You seem to be a nice person and deserves that!

For those toxic people, lets just stay as far away as possible!! We should use our time here with people and things that can aggregate value to our lives.

its all good man, i got alot of things goin for me, and im not gonna let it get me down. i just flat out refuse to lose
hell yeah,from now on no more poison drops.

Yep, understand what you mean. Had a similar family issue. My Grandma ruled the roost, and would tell my mum what to do instead of discussing it with my dad.
It got to the point where they split up and I ended up living with my mum. I learnt to be alpha pretty quick from that point on. I didn't understand the full dynamics then but I had to work and help provide for my mum at a young age.
Turned me into a man pretty quick and I would butt heads with my mum to no end. I wouldn't let her push me around. Even today I keep a firm stance whenever she tries to interfere in my life.

seems like it ''clicked'' pretty early for you , one thing that was hard for me was i was naturally easy going , and wanted to be a good person,so it was hard to buck back i got programmed pretty good with no one interfering with my tyrant grandmother
finally i decided i had to go against the grain and stand my ground or i would get pushed around for the rest of my life and my self confidence would fade until it eventually disappeared

, i realized this ''nice guy'' thing had to go, i ended up going to work and supporting the mum too, buttin heads and all and realized she started respecting more tho and would actually start **** LESS and LESS.

im glad that you recognized this early and was able to break free from the chains of mental manipulation.

 

[The Don]

its all good man, i got alot of things goin for me, and im not gonna let it get me down. i just flat out refuse to lose
hell yeah,from now on no more poison drops.




seems like it ''clicked'' pretty early for you , one thing that was hard for me was i was naturally easy going , and wanted to be a good person,so it was hard to buck back i got programmed pretty good with no one interfering with my tyrant grandmother
finally i decided i had to go against the grain and stand my ground or i would get pushed around for the rest of my life and my self confidence would fade until it eventually disappeared

, i realized this ''nice guy'' thing had to go, i ended up going to work and supporting the mum too, buttin heads and all and realized she started respecting more tho and would actually start **** LESS and LESS.

im glad that you recognized this early and was able to break free from the chains of mental manipulation.

Yep, the nice guy has to go. It was forced upon me, but because I was so young I had no idea what I was in for, just did what I had to.
You need to make decisions and stand your ground. You don't let anyone interfere, not friends, and not even family. Yes its fine to help each other out, but when it comes to relationships, wife and kids, the man has to take charge and make the right decisions, responsibility is on the mans shoulders.
I learned that you don't make exceptions even for family. Once I learned responsibility, its now ingrained in me, and has helped me be successful in all areas of my life.
I actually get along with my mum now, when I moved out of home, I rarely interacted with her for close to 10 years, then I eventually turned her around and now she actually listens to me. I understand how to talk to her now, which my dad wasn't the best at. He wasn't tough enough when he needed to be and he would let things slide.
Ever since then I have been learning a lot about Psychology, relationships etc and that has helped a lot.

 

[death_wish. .]

god is good boys! my tyrant grandmother has been exposed!

she has been using me to take care of my great grandmother , who already has a worker
a very sexy hb 9 atleast , short white girl bout 5'4 with a nice round asss.

i stole her number out the phone and she was very receptive , she asked me if my grandmother pays or compensates me for my hard work .
once i told her thats not the case she offered to pay me a hundred dollars today and is goin to buy me food!

the real gon prevail brothers! this is great!

i knew all i had to do is hold my head up and keep a positive mindsett, the law of attraction is very real, i told my self after i got cheated on that i deserve a hot loyal girlfriend , i repeated the affirmations everyday , usually whenever i felt down
and i left that cheating ***** , now the manifestation is happening right before my eyes. you create your own destiny bros!

 

[Solomon]

I've been talking and dating some women lately, some hit on me and even showed a high-interest level... The more I become better physically and emotionally it gots easier.

But I'm observing those dates, in general, it seems so dirty... Having sex is good for a moment pleasure, but I'm feeling disgusted with how things are going nowadays.

Tired of games, of gold diggers, of liars, committed women that tells that they are single until you find that out, crazy ones...

The fact is, the more I met some women out there and see how things are going, I'm getting sick of it. Not on a point to get married or settle down, cause I don't believe in that anymore. It seems better to be alone and choose carefully even casual dates and sex.

I just see how weird and dirt those things are, and it seems a waste of time. I also understand that it's a natural desire and I will never stop having this desire for sex, cause this is what it is.

Also, when I'm going towards my purposes... I felt energized. But some dates, I went off feeling a low level of energy after that. And of course, a few ones were good... but it's so few dates that I felt a good energy.

With friends, the same... Have some that when we go to hang out is such a great time, the share of ideas and it makes you energized. Also, there are some guys I used to hang out and used to felt drained after that.

Maybe some belief or fantasy is dying inside me, and a new understanding will come... but that's so weird.

Congratulations OP!

When I was 30 (around your age) had the time realization as well. I started hitting the gym harder, traveling have there been missteps along the way? heck ya tons! But guess what now I can look at them and realize I wasn't valuing my time by spending it with people (especially with women) who didn't value me.

My circle is very small it sucks, but it's the way it is when you're focused on the bigger picture, delayed gratification is something that most can't enact