My talk with CapedCrusader08

[C-quenced]

Yeah,well,this past thing started along time ago. It's other factors as well.No,I was never really good at talking to girls. I felt like a loser due to my inexperience,or it was pressure I put on myself over certain things. I mean,I am addicted to online. I am.I feel I have accomplished nothing,while everyone else has. And feel Like I am struggling too. I mean,I get upset/bitter about feeling good or towards people who do. Esp women.

I know exactly what you mean bro. You sound exactly like me. It takes a lot of work to break out of this. I would know simply because I go through everything you speak of on a daily basis. It's what I call life.

Here's what... if you're really serious (I mean REALLY ****ing SERIOUS) about improving your life feel free to pm me and we can assist one another in breaking out of this madness that exists in our minds.

 

[loving]

Here's what... if you're really serious (I mean REALLY ****ing SERIOUS) about improving your life feel free to pm me and we can assist one another in breaking out of this madness that exists in our minds.

I think two lost people looking for answers from eachother is like two chickens cutting eachothers heads off simultaneously.

Good luck with whatever choices you make, but beware of clutches. The information is all out there and most of it is simply the opposite of your problems.

What is probably is you guys are just thinking too much. And too much of that over thinking is spent on your problems. If you just cut down on how much analyzing you do youd be better off, and if you made all that analyzing positive youd be on a good road. You must find the sources for what you want, most of them are in you but indeed we live in an action-dominated world and some of them will come from taking action.

Its definitely not a lack of information or potential, its a lack of will and motivation. Thats it. You don't change because your negative patterns are keeping you glued into them and you are too damn afraid to take a leap of faith.

I can't say it much simpler than this. If you guys still feel like a bunch of idiots clunkin their heads together with 0 success let me repeat its not our faults you don't understand, its yours.

 

[itachi]

Well, then you thought wrong.
Changing your analogy so that the chickens are trying to cut off their own heads: one chicken will be more cognizant of his own actions by observing another chicken in a similar situation. If both chickens feel inferior to "normal" chickens, forming a relationship with one another will be far more constructive than a restrained relationship with a "normal" chicken.

Your belief that his thoughts are excessive is a judgment you made based on your observations. Past experiences influence how you came to that judgement.
What they're doing isn't that much different. The belief about what features of the environment are or aren't relevant is inferred from past experience(s), which would then be verified or disputed by testing the hypothesis in future experiences.

It is not a lack of will or motivation. Desire was stated and if motivation was lacking, the pattern would have ended. Emotions are the predominate force inhibiting action.

-----------------
CapedCrusader08-
Your problems span multiple functional domains - feeling depressed, inability to decide on "what to do," disdain for where you are in life, attitude towards women, etc... - to the point of pathology. That all points to a personality disorder.

Go see a psychologist (not a psychiatrist). Psychiatrists deal primarily with clinical issues (personality disorders aren't); physical conditions that may require medication (psychiatrists are licensed doctors in the US). If you're schizophrenic, bipolar, clinically depressed, have a severe anxiety disorder, etc... medications will soften the symptoms, it won't get rid of them though.

Psychotherapy will focus on improving your overall mental health. Most likely using a cognitive/behavioral approach to restore your self-image, change your patterns of negative thinking, and learn strategies for emotional regulation.

Some psychiatrists also do psychotherapy, but when self-esteem or anything identity-related is the main issue, it's better to see a psychologist.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

I have a response to this,it is something I am trying to get over,it's all one big head issue for me right now,plus some other things. Or getting out of "the matrix" as you call it,and finding my identity. I will post back later. Honestly,a big part of this problem has been not feeling attractive enough to get the women I want,whereas other guys have had it so easy,or,they get them,and it's trouble for them. I have seen it happen. Plus,not motivating and changing myself enough to where I am that person I want to be. But I feel it may be something where it may never be good enough,you know?

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

After putting some thought into this, I will say:

Once you get this sh!t behind you, it's not going to matter. You'll get through this eventually and be stronger than ever before.

Now go do it

or

I will throw you through glass

 

[loving]

I have a response to this,it is something I am trying to get over,it's all one big head issue for me right now,plus some other things. Or getting out of "the matrix" as you call it,and finding my identity. I will post back later. Honestly,a big part of this problem has been not feeling attractive enough to get the women I want,whereas other guys have had it so easy,or,they get them,and it's trouble for them. I have seen it happen. Plus,not motivating and changing myself enough to where I am that person I want to be. But I feel it may be something where it may never be good enough,you know?

I don't know what to tell you anymore.

I know that no matter what I say you will spit back some bull**** that will make me wanna say more. But not anymore, because I know the pattern. Thats the end for you leading me on.

I've said what I needed to say, I believe it can help you but you just don't want to listen.

I'm sick of speaking and not being listened to.

Guys if you know a mod please PM them and ask them to lock this topic. Otherwise please honour my wish and opinion - at least in the thread I made - that CapedCrusader08 will not learn until it is life and death for him. You've gotta accept that some people just do not want your advice and typing to them is a waste of your life. It is not a waste of theirs, which is why they will keep receiving, because these people are leaches. Anything they can do to avoid reality they will, and that includes very tactical ways of making you have hope for their future. But it does not exist. At least not in your hands.

It is my fault. I spent all this time listening to CapedCrusader08 when I should have been listening to others, he is beyond my help. So consider this more of a warning than an instruction, those of you who are not CapedCrusader08, that despite your best efforts he will always be the same, and despite your best intentions or the mothering voice inside you that says "but i can fix him!" no, you cannot.

Bye man, please stay out of my life until you've fixed yourself - and to foreshadow your next reply: I do not give a damn.

 

[itachi]

You got some serious issues too.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

But I do want help. I do. I have been feeling this way for too long that it's become part of me that I have a hard time letting go of,and I am trying to now. I suppose I am using this to bring attention just a little bit, But it is cause I am lost and confused over what seems to be so simple and easy. I just can't find the right advice. I mean,I am really trying to find a way out of this,I don't know what more I can say. I mean, I feel like I am looking for something that will give me what I have always wanted.

So what? You're saying I am a leech with no hope for the future? Ouch. That's harsh,but I see what you mean,and that has been a concern for me. I don't want to be the same,but I am used to feeling this way,see the confusion?

 

[C-quenced]

I don't know what to tell you anymore.

I know that no matter what I say you will spit back some bull**** that will make me wanna say more. But not anymore, because I know the pattern. Thats the end for you leading me on.

I've said what I needed to say, I believe it can help you but you just don't want to listen.

I'm sick of speaking and not being listened to.

Guys if you know a mod please PM them and ask them to lock this topic. Otherwise please honour my wish and opinion - at least in the thread I made - that CapedCrusader08 will not learn until it is life and death for him. You've gotta accept that some people just do not want your advice and typing to them is a waste of your life. It is not a waste of theirs, which is why they will keep receiving, because these people are leaches. Anything they can do to avoid reality they will, and that includes very tactical ways of making you have hope for their future. But it does not exist. At least not in your hands.

It is my fault. I spent all this time listening to CapedCrusader08 when I should have been listening to others, he is beyond my help. So consider this more of a warning than an instruction, those of you who are not CapedCrusader08, that despite your best efforts he will always be the same, and despite your best intentions or the mothering voice inside you that says "but i can fix him!" no, you cannot.

Bye man, please stay out of my life until you've fixed yourself - and to foreshadow your next reply: I do not give a damn.

Hopefully you're the last ****ing retarded, arrogant, self righteous prick anybody ever encounters on this forum. You consistently validated the fact that you have absolutely no idea of how others experience and view the world. Your lack of understanding on this says that you shouldn't be pushing your advice onto any of us simply because you don't know what the hell you are talking about.

 

[C-quenced]

But I do want help. I do. I have been feeling this way for too long that it's become part of me that I have a hard time letting go of,and I am trying to now. I suppose I am using this to bring attention just a little bit, But it is cause I am lost and confused over what seems to be so simple and easy. I just can't find the right advice. I mean,I am really trying to find a way out of this,I don't know what more I can say. I mean, I feel like I am looking for something that will give me what I have always wanted.

So what? You're saying I am a leech with no hope for the future? Ouch. That's harsh,but I see what you mean,and that has been a concern for me. I don't want to be the same,but I am used to feeling this way,see the confusion?
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I received your pm man. I g2g to bed so I'll take a look at it sometime tomorrow and we'll talk. Before I head off let me just state that some of the guys on here are right. As far as I know I'm pretty ****ed up in the head and I think you're on the same page as I am bud. At this point I think we do NEED professional help.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Yeah. I am generally confused,it feels like it's stuff I shouldn't be that confused about. I was gonna type something about why I am,and what about this site and others confuses me. But maybe later...

 

[Desert Fox]

loving all that stuff you said was some Dr. Phil psychobabble wanna-be Buddha fvcking Ghandi bullsh1t. Get that sh1t out of here bro. 80% of the **** you said didn't even make sense. 20% was calling Caped a retard. Nice job Oprah!

Want to be happy? I have the same issue as Caped here, here's what I did:

1. I started making a list
2. randomly during the day if I'm eating a really tasty sandwich or something I suddenly realize, hey I'm happy.
3. I write on my list "sandwich A" or whatever I ate
4. move on throughout my life
5. one day randomly I listen to a song that pumps me up
6. write down song on my life

eventually I have a list of 5-10 things that make me feel realy good. If I'm feling down I look at the list, pick something and do it. if it's not enough I pick 2 things, etc. until I feel happy again. PROBLEM SOLVED

 

[itachi]

Responding like C-Quenced would have been completely appropriate, but instead you accepted his criticisms -- "So what? You're saying I am a leech with no hope for the future? Ouch. That's harsh,but I see what you mean..."
Your self-worth is low enough as is. You don't need more "evidence" to support your beliefs, particularly from someone that was fantasizing social-competence a couple weeks ago - it takes a lot longer than that to overcome years of pain.

Stop trying to figure out why you're confused. Inferring causation depends on your ability to process information effectively, confusion implies that you're not.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, go see a psychologist.


Desert Fox, habitual use of distractions is how addictions are formed - the consequences of using alcohol, drugs, or food to feel good shouldn't need explanation.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Idk,I mean,my problem feels like no game plan,or long,extended,drawn out periods of loneliness,it may also be a low sex drive,or awkward feelings and confusion and inexperience,or just not being the guy all the girls go for. I mean,I have a good idea about what's talked about on here,the whole mindset,not just spouting a bunch of lines,yet I can't find a plan to pull it all together. I can't break out of this negative thinking,I often feel I must be extra careful so I make sure I do not get walked all over and used.