My story

[051AV]

I'm new to the forums,

I haven't had the most exciting dating life I've always put learning/education first over anything else its been like that since high school 22 years ago. I'm in the trades I have a lot of skills under my belt always worked outdoors getting my hands dirty. I took on a pencil pusher desk job for chits and giggles with I ended up staying for a little over a decade. I ended up being a supervisor in a division of a corporation as the years went by the corporation hired quite a few women. Part of the job was meeting customers which were some very very good looking women.

My manager at the time hired a young woman, she fit all the criteria I like smart and good looking I wanted to drop her pants she. We clicked right away then we started to get to know each other the red flags started popping up. Something in the back of my mind kept saying no don't get involved with her she developed strong feelings for me. I couldn't talk to other women around her she had a vicious jealous streak she couldn't handle it. I would get the silent treatment then we would end up getting into a fight.

Strange things started happening she was fvcking with my personal life women that I was friendly too started acting strange with me. This continued on I couldn't prove it was her doing it. She started drama picking fights with me out of the blue.

She started seeing this other guy I decided to cut her off I ended it that's when my whole world blew up. She started to dig through my work I didn't always follow company policy on things she started reporting me. Next thing I knew I was in sh*t up to my neck my supervisor job was at risk I couldn't keep ahead of her she kept finding things to use against me. In the end I had to walk away from my job.

You guys that think getting tangled with a BPD chick is no big deal think again. I lost hours and hours of sleep I ended up sick I was stressed to the max. It took a lot out of me and she enjoyed ever minute seeing me suffer.

Two years later I'm a new man I'm a trades person again happy as hell, I'm so glad I never banged that BPD girl I might not be alive today.

 

[Chamber36]

Hilarious and sobering at the same time.

Good story.

That's why it's important to test those girls and soon as the red flags give u jitters bail.

 

[dude99]

I'm new to the forums,

I haven't had the most exciting dating life I've always put learning/education first over anything else its been like that since high school 22 years ago. I'm in the trades I have a lot of skills under my belt always worked outdoors getting my hands dirty. I took on a pencil pusher desk job for chits and giggles with I ended up staying for a little over a decade. I ended up being a supervisor in a division of a corporation as the years went by the corporation hired quite a few women. Part of the job was meeting customers which were some very very good looking women.

My manager at the time hired a young woman, she fit all the criteria I like smart and good looking I wanted to drop her pants she. We clicked right away then we started to get to know each other the red flags started popping up. Something in the back of my mind kept saying no don't get involved with her she developed strong feelings for me. I couldn't talk to other women around her she had a vicious jealous streak she couldn't handle it. I would get the silent treatment then we would end up getting into a fight.

Strange things started happening she was fvcking with my personal life women that I was friendly too started acting strange with me. This continued on I couldn't prove it was her doing it. She started drama picking fights with me out of the blue.

She started seeing this other guy I decided to cut her off I ended it that's when my whole world blew up. She started to dig through my work I didn't always follow company policy on things she started reporting me. Next thing I knew I was in sh*t up to my neck my supervisor job was at risk I couldn't keep ahead of her she kept finding things to use against me. In the end I had to walk away from my job.

You guys that think getting tangled with a BPD chick is no big deal think again. I lost hours and hours of sleep I ended up sick I was stressed to the max. It took a lot out of me and she enjoyed ever minute seeing me suffer.

Two years later I'm a new man I'm a trades person again happy as hell, I'm so glad I never banged that BPD girl I might not be alive today.

All that BS from her and you two weren't even having sex? Why would you even talk to this girl or even befriend her?

 

[051AV]

You know I wanted to sleep with her something bad she was very attractive at the time 8 years younger then me. She was a 9 out of 10 for me she was everything I was looking in a woman except one thing she's BPD. I never had any dealings with BPDs she was my first, things were good for the first 6 months or so her and I were close she stuck to me like glue. When I met her she had a rough break up, she was a mess, she hid a lot from the others she worked with.

It was a rollercoaster relationship with her, when I tried to cut things off it turned for the worse, the anger came out of her. She wasn't happy with the new guy she was with so she took it out on me.

 

[dude99]

You know I wanted to sleep with her something bad she was very attractive at the time 8 years younger then me. She was a 9 out of 10 for me she was everything I was looking in a woman except one thing she's BPD. I never had any dealings with BPDs she was my first, things were good for the first 6 months or so her and I were close she stuck to me like glue. When I met her she had a rough break up, she was a mess, she hid a lot from the others she worked with.

It was a rollercoaster relationship with her, when I tried to cut things off it turned for the worse, the anger came out of her. She wasn't happy with the new guy she was with so she took it out on me.

I have learned over the years, when a chick had a rough break up as you put it, always have in the back of your mind that it was their fault, until proven otherwise. Why do you ask? Becaus 95 % of the time it is and women refuse to accept fault. And also if it proves it wasn't her fault then let the surprise be a pleasent one. Rather than a shiiit sandwich like this one served up.

Also. Sounds to me like she was using you to feed her ego and wanted you as an orbiter rather than a boyfriend.

 

[RangerMIke]

I have learned over the years, when a chick had a rough break up as you put it, always have in the back of your mind that it was their fault, until proven otherwise.

Yep.... it is usually the woman that breaks things off. And the reason is always she is no longer interested in the dude she is fvcking. It all boils down to interest. After the break she will load you down with all kinds of reasons justifying her emotional decision to leave.

She might leave because of some kind of abuse, but not all women leave abusive men... so it can not be the only reason.

 

[051AV]

When I met her she was about month out of a relationship, I actually had another woman I was contending with which was my newly appointed boss who ended up having issues with her fiancée. My boss and I formed a close friendship she was happy to have me by her side. The BPD absolutely didn't like the idea that my female boss was close to me.

The BPD has a jealously problem, I'm a very approachable guy women approached me at work with ease the BPD couldn't stand it that I would flirt with women. It would usually end up with me in a fight with the BPD, mention or talk about another women in front of the BPD. She was jealous of my success at work she couldn't stand it that I was better than she was. That didn't end till the day I left the company she would try put me down, trying to down play my successfulness.

She couldn't wait any longer for me to get in a relationship with her so she latched onto this other guy works in the same corporation different division in a different city. This guy is a real AFC I've been with him when he's been around women he thinks he's a real ladies man in the end he strikes out. He is very insecure the women that work with him say he is very insecure. He would touch the female staff he managed innapropriately I heard lots of complaints, the women that worked under him didn't have much use for him. He was a decent guy I really didn't have much bad to say about him I did laugh when he tried to steal women's attention away from me it never worked. He's a metrosexual guy he's always dressed up, his hands have never been dirty before. I'm the opposite I'm not metrosexual women liked talking to me plain and simple.

I thought when the BPD started dating this guy she would leave me alone that didn't happen, she wasn't happy in her relationship with this guy she hated the fact I was happy and she was not. She constantly took out her displeasure on me if things were not going well with her man she took it out on me I put up with it for a little while. I told her we have to go our separate ways we can't even be friends I cut it off with her she did not like that at all.

It wasn't a couple weeks after that my life turned into a miserable hell which lasted for a good 3 months until I walked away from my job. She went through my files at work to find things to get me in the spot light of management. I didn't play by the rules at work, the corporation is so hamstrung by its regulations I didn't follow the regulations. In the end I was under so much heat from upper management I walked from my job I didn't have to put up with that abuse. They became extremely abusive I couldn't eat I was loosing sleep. The BPD wanted to see me pay for hurting her feelings she told me she did what she did is I hurt her feelings she want to me to pay for it.

I was a well respected employee the CEO even knew me by name in a company that is 5000 employees plus. The BPDs boyfriend seen what happened, the people that worked with me and knew me hated her guts. Her reputation didn't improve she was shunned by all the employees she works with they just tolerate her. I recently heard she's got herself into hot water management is going to turf her. Her BF looks like hell she's stressed him to the max to the point his health is on the line.

Its been 2 years now I'm working in the trades again I'm a well respected employee that is known for my broad range of skills. When I do see the BPD she doesn't give me eye contact she keeps her head down and is very submissive. She knows she messed with the wrong guy, she's screwed herself in the end.

I

 

[dude99]

Well I've learned over the years that all you needto do to have certain people hate you is just to exist.

Sounds like you tried to dip your pen in too much company ink and the cluster b helped make it backfire on you.

Lessons from this: don't stick your pen in company ink and do not entertain cluster b women no matter how hot they are. You didn't even fack her and she still ran you out of the company.

 

[sazc]

I have learned over the years, when a chick had a rough break up as you put it, always have in the back of your mind that it was their fault, until proven otherwise.

This actually goes both ways. I dated a dude who explained to me all the reasons why his marriage failed. His sentences basically started with "she said I was X", "She said I was Y" "she was overly emotional" etc.
8 months later and I realized he was passive aggressive as fvck. When he was upset, he would either verbally abuse me or he didn't talk about it, he just retaliated in a passive aggressive manner. Everything he told me his wife complained about in counseling, I saw as behaviors from, and in, him.

Two things I have learned
1) People will tell you who they are, listen to them
2) if a person has on going and/or a history of tumultuous relationships in their lives (includes family relationships and break ups), one of the the common threads is them, and your relationship will not be the exception. (this is their model for dealing with interpersonal relationships, yours wont be any different)

It's all a red flag, pay attention

 

[dude99]

This actually goes both ways. I dated a dude who explained to me all the reasons why his marriage failed. His sentences basically started with "she said I was X", "She said I was Y" "she was overly emotional" etc.
8 months later and I realized he was passive aggressive as fvck. When he was upset, he would either verbally abuse me or he didn't talk about it, he just retaliated in a passive aggressive manner. Everything he told me his wife complained about in counseling, I saw as behaviors from, and in, him.

Two things I have learned
1) People will tell you who they are, listen to them
2) if a person has on going and/or a history of tumultuous relationships in their lives (includes family relationships and break ups), one of the the common threads is them, and your relationship will not be the exception. (this is their model for dealing with interpersonal relationships, yours wont be any different)

It's all a red flag, pay attention

Oh I agree. The common denominator is definitely them.

In my experience i have dated a bunch of "victims" that dump all this baggage on you as to why their past relationships fail. You are exactly right. Unless you stick your head in the sand and refuse to accept what is in front of you usually on a matter of weeks you can spot why their relationships failed.

I dated a girl once that claimed every guy she ever dated slapped her around. I asked are you surenit was "every guy?" She confirmed yes every guy. 4 weeks into dating her ( i never rasied my hand to her once or ever put hands on her,) i could see where a guy who couldn't control his temper would have hit her. She was the type that loved to hit with low blows and demeaning insults. I realised deep down she wanted to be hit and that was why she would resort to that behavior. She got even more angry with me because i didn't hit her. Yes she was a cluster b. My first experience with one. Yes i dumped her and walked away.

 

[sazc]

Oh I agree. The common denominator is definitely them.

In my experience i have dated a bunch of "victims" that dump all this baggage on you as to why their past relationships fail. You are exactly right. Unless you stick your head in the sand and refuse to accept what is in front of you usually on a matter of weeks you can spot why their relationships failed.

I dated a girl once that claimed every guy she ever dated slapped her around. I asked are you surenit was "every guy?" She confirmed yes every guy. 4 weeks into dating her ( i never rasied my hand to her once or ever put hands on her,) i could see where a guy who couldn't control his temper would have hit her. She was the type that loved to hit with low blows and demeaning insults. I realised deep down she wanted to be hit and that was why she would resort to that behavior. She got even more angry with me because i didn't hit her. Yes she was a cluster b. My first experience with one. Yes i dumped her and walked away.

My god...the one I mentioned.... he lived inside of our relationship as passive aggressive. I'm the type of person that doesn't pick up on passive aggressive (you have to tel me 'im going to insult you now' for me to see it) Just like you said, In hindsight I realized that me not picking up on his low blows and passive aggressive behavior caused him to try even harder to be a d1ck.
I stayed in that relationship FAR too long. My lack of chutzpah is mortifying to me....

 

[dude99]

My god...the one I mentioned.... he lived inside of our relationship as passive aggressive. I'm the type of person that doesn't pick up on passive aggressive (you have to tel me 'im going to insult you now' for me to see it) Just like you said, In hindsight I realized that me not picking up on his low blows and passive aggressive behavior caused him to try even harder to be a d1ck.
I stayed in that relationship FAR too long. My lack of chutzpah is mortifying to me....

Yes, but you learned from it. I am a pretty direct guy. I don't respond at all to this passive aggressive behaviour anymore. When people pull that i either soft next them or hard next them if they dont learn.

 

[051AV]

The BPD girl was good at what she did so I gave her the schit jobs that I didn't want to do, she was excellent on the computer. So I piled the work on her, she wanted to do the jobs that she wasn't good at man o man was it ever hard to tell her she did a ****ty job. Nobody in the division would tell her they said to me you have to tell her she cares about you. That would usually end up in us fighting with each other she would be upset.

It was a rollercoaster being with her, the emotions were up down, she hid a lot about her self from the others, not from me thou told me nearly everything. When she would be upset she would want to be hugged it wasn't a gentle hug either she squeezed pretty hard.

When she started telling me about her life it scared me off, the family issues, didn't have many friends when she was younger. She's been trying to better her life but it seems like she finds a way of sabotaging it.

The guy she is with I believe his deep insecurities is keeping him from dumping her, he's at the point now he wouldn't be able to attract a woman by his looks he looks awful. He used to be a healthy looking young man he wasn't a real head turner of a guy but he wasn't butt ugly. Today the way he's aged himself from dealing with her he doesn't stand a chance. He's pushed himself to the point of no return, he can't reverse the damage to he's done.

I'm happy where my life is going, I don't think she will ever be happy, no matter how positive she tries to be she will never be happy.

 

[KingofPuss]

I'm not sure if I dealt with BPD or just a genuinely insane woman, but I understand what you mean. TRUST me, you are the luckiest man in the world simply because you didn't sleep with her. You could have ended up in jail for some false accusations and BS. You could have had other terrible things happen, such as an STD or pregnancy (god forbid THAT).

This is a prime example, men, of why you should always keep your mouth shut about the things you do. People will learn of things you do that aren't "by the book" that will screw you. Even if it's the better way to do it.

 

[051AV]

Oh she lied alright the stories she came up with saying that I was abusive to her and other stuff it was all bull**** and she knew it. I was the most supportive person in her life at that time I helped her a lot. Today I wonder what would have happened if I slept with her I might be behind bars.

I know a lot of guys were after her she was a really attractive woman when I first met her, today she's lost the body she used to have she's let herself go she's packed on a good 10 pounds or more.

 

[macallik]

Curious what is the point of talking about a girl that is (hopefully) two years removed from your life?

You aren't the first person on SoSuave to proclaim a woman has a mental disability and you won't be the last. This is a website primarily focused on dating but nothing about your posts mentions anything that has happened recently. Why are we talking about a woman that is no longer in your life and that you (seemingly) managed to avoid having a large impact on your life. GFTOW

 

[sazc]

Curious what is the point of talking about a girl that is (hopefully) two years removed from your life?

You aren't the first person on SoSuave to proclaim a woman has a mental disability and you won't be the last. This is a website primarily focused on dating but nothing about your posts mentions anything that has happened recently. Why are we talking about a woman that is no longer in your life and that you (seemingly) managed to avoid having a large impact on your life. GFTOW

sometimes they need to get it out. to express it means that others can identify with it and offer support. sometimes it runs deep and support helps