My son is ****blocking me

Aristippus

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Atom Smasher said : It would be a cold day in hell before I let either a kid or a pet in my bed.

Exactly. When pigs fly and hell freezes over and when Antarctica melts over and becomes a desert. The kids get enough attention all day. There's no valid excuse for parents to allow a child to sleep in the bedroom with them. That's sacred ground in my book. And the same goes for pets in the bedroom. I'm not going to be an exhibitionist for some chihuahua or great dane. And nothing kills the privacy and romance like having to push the golden retriever off of the bed so you can have sex with your wife/girlfriend.

Being a good parent does not = being a child's best friend. In fact, if you're not doing things that sometimes make your child dislike you, you're doing something wrong. Setting reasonable boundaries is something that an untrained human doesn't like in the beginning. You will have to set boundaries and your child won't like it. Get used to it or be prepared to live the life of a milquetoast and subservient male who provides and takes care of everyone else and makes sacrifices, while his opinions and rules are not valued or respected.

This is what you're setting yourself up for Backbreaker, if you don't set boundaries. This will be your life. You will be nothing more than a disrespected slave in a relationship where the compromises are all one-sided. When necessary, you have to be MORE persistent, MORE unyielding, and MORE intolerant of certain things than your wife is or she will walk all over you. There's room for flexibility in life and this applies in certain situations, but in other situations you need to have a zero-tolerance policy. This is one of them.
 

evan12

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I think this behavior is for lonely boys , start counting how many friends he has , if less than 2 , help him to find new friends and hobbies . it is not healthy for a boy to be like that.
 

zekko

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Atom Smasher said:
8) I'm 56 years old and utterly clueless, not 55.
Happy belated birthday.
I like sleeping with pets in the bed though.
As long as they're not snakes or goldfish.
 

Die Hard

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BB, it sounds like you're not really sure of your own opinion.

Just what is your problem here, really? You speak of Joe ****blocking you (so that makes it seem like the problem is that you can't t fvck your wife), but you also speak of him showing a bit of beta-like behavior (so that makes it seem like you're worried about the development of Joe).

Get your facts straight. Are you really worried about his development and is that the reason why you think you should prevent him from clinging to his mommy too much? Or do you really just want to fvck your wife and see Joe's behavior as an obstacle that needs to be removed? If the latter is the case, you might feel guilty about that...you might feel guilty about your tendency to disregard the emotional needs of your son (to seek shelter and comfort with his mommy), in order to satisfy your own needs (sex). So perhaps you are now trying to get rid of that guilt by finding ANOTHER, SEPERATE reason to keep Joe from clinging to your wife (that other, seperate reason being: the fact that it's supposedly bad for his development to cling to her so much).

I don't know if any of the above aplies and what's going on inside your head, but my point is that is seems like you YOURSELF don't really know that either. So my advice is to get the facts straight for yourself and analyze the situation a bit deeper.

1. What do you really want for yourself and why? (be honest with yourself!)
2. What do you really want for Joe and why? (be honest with yourself!)
3. Find the best solution to unite 1 and 2.
 

backbreaker

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more than anything i was just venting. I can deal with it but it is getting kinda tiresome. But not to the point where i can't handle it. I mean we are having sex and I never was / have been a guy that has to have it or even wnats it every night.

But like, ever since the drugs I've always had issues sleeping. I have to go to bed after my wife or else her going ot be will wake me up. and what really gets to me more than anything is simply that, when he comes in our room he waks me up and it's hell for me to get back to sleep without taking some type of pill which leaves me groggy in the morning.

that more than anything will make me lock the door but if i did that he would just throw a hissy fit and wake me up anyway which would defeat the purpose.


I mean, i remember my phase when i would wake up in the night and crawl in the bed with my momma. it didn't last all that long and its quite normal IMHO.

Joe is a smart little dude, i might actually sit him down and talk to him about my sleep issues and see how he reacts.
 

Boilermaker

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It's quite normal for kids (especially boys) to sleep with their mommies for a while.

It has to stop at a certain age obviously, but denying that from him or being harsh about it could make permanent scars.

This fact, hidden from any other issues with the wife, has nothing to do with Don Juanism - maybe we need to let go of the urge to Juan it up for every little issue in life.

The most important/defining/fragile years of his life: 0-6 years.
 
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