My Senior Year High School Journal

[Canibus27]

Hey everybody. I've decided to post up my journal, as I strive to become a DJ. I am sort of a rookie at this. After three years of failed opportunities, I'm going to try my hardest to turn things around my senior year. I'll be updating this at least once a week, and any advice you guys could give me will be greatly appreciated!

A little about me right now:
1) I am a prep, but I am virtually on the lowest level there is. I don't get invited to parties, or really to do anything.
2) I'm short, about 5'6 or 5'7. I have virtually no muscle mass, but I am not fat.
3) I have a really weak voice, that sounds weird.
4) I do not play any sports.
5) Very quiet and shy.

What I hope to get out of this year would really just to live it up my last year of high school. The last time I kissed a girl was last October, so almost a year now. The ultimate goal, would really to get a girlfriend. I have a low self esteem. I hate the thought of people thinking about me, and judging me. I just want to be comfortable in my skin. My two best friends, who are fairly popular, both have girlfriends, but they will both be helping me to get exposure, and go out every weekend, something I did not do last year. I'm alright around women if they talk to me first, but something that I can't do with confidence is approach women. That is something I really want to turn around. Well, there is really not much else to say right now, but I will probably update this on Sunday. Were going to some parties on Friday and Saturday. So I'll post anything new when it happens. Thank you all for any future advice and reading my journal, I hope I will not disappoint.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

You already have a good idea what you need to do, so go out and do it and tell us what happens and we'll help ya out with anything you need.

Good luck man, make this year the best!

 

[Canibus27]

Also, another thing I think is fairly important. I used to masterbate, at least once day. Sometimes several times a day. Since the start of the school year, I've cut it down to once a week. Something that I really never thought I could do, so I'm pretty proud about that.

 

[noodle]

Your not short. 5'6 5'7 i think is an average hieght.

You don't play any sports? Well then go out and play some. invite some people/friends people that you sit next to in class, to your recreational centre( or wherever). Play some tennis, badminton, b-ball etc. Not only will this improve your social status but it will get your body into shape. If you want to actually bulk up than just hit up the gym.

About being shy, well just talk to the people in your classes. say hi, eye contact and smile to them. I have to say that I just started high school and I am shy too. but I started talking to all the people around me, boys and girls. I gruadually noticed I got better with conversations and came "out of my shell" and kind of lost my nervousness. I admit i am still shy but not as much as i was before. i am still improving and you shall as well!

If you want to get better at approaching women than just bring your 2 best friends to the mall and you guys can approach people. Watch them, see what they do and what works. once you get some courage up set some goals and approach some women. I suggest starting out small, so you dont' overwhelm yourself and then start building up until you can approach anyone you want to! Remember that mistakes will happen. But one who is smart will learn from their mistakes, not grieve over them. Remeber to have fun too! Be relaxed and everything will flow

I'm actually pretty much in the same position as you. I'm still tyring to improve myself and coming from a family that keeps putting me down and lowering my self esteem. It is very hard to do but no matter, they are practically my motivation...the motivation to prove them wrong. But you don't want to hear about my story...just go out and start talking to peepz! And its very good that your actually trying to change yourself, props!

Go get em fighter!:box:

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Also, another thing I think is fairly important. I used to masterbate, at least once day. Sometimes several times a day. Since the start of the school year, I've cut it down to once a week. Something that I really never thought I could do, so I'm pretty proud about that.

Um masturbating isn't a bad thing, but you could be doing alot better things with your time... like getting a bl0wjob lol.

 

[Canibus27]

What a bust this weekend was! I didn't even leave the damn house!

On Friday, me and my buddy were walking to his car after school. There were three blondes walking in front of us, and one of them tripped. She didn't fall but she stumbled, lol! Anyways, she looked back at me, I looked her in the eyes and gave her a smile. Somebody said that shows confidence, so I decided to share that with you. Then when we got to the car, I saw a girl a knew, she is like a 9 out of 10. We were pretty good friends last year. She is a freak, does anything to a guy she likes. I gave her a smile, and then said, "want to have sex"? She shook her head no, so I smiled and said alright, and then got in the car. She rolled her window down and so did we, and she said, "going to watch any porn tonight"? I used to tell her I watched porn every night. I responded "you know it!". She laughed and then said "you're going to be on that to catch a predator show!", I laughed and said, "I already was, my episode airs in May, check it out". She laughs again and then tells her friends I'm the nastiest guy ever. That night my friend worked all night, and said there was nothing going on afterwards. I guess I should get a job. Anyways, a wasted night. I fell asleep on the couch watching survivor man on the Discovery Channel.

Saturday was much of the same, didn't go out! I texted my friend and he said there is nothing going on tonight, and that he was going to spend time with his girlfriend. Once again I just stayed inside all day.

A failed weekend with no events. Just great.

 

[Man Man]

Don't let it get you down man, I only went out once this weekend and the girl I'm dating is away for a while. There is always another weekend! The year is just beginning!

 

[Canibus27]

So today I talked to some girls. This asian chick, I like asian girls but she isn't that attractive. We had to write a constitution for our government class and I was just sitting there, and she was like do you want some paper? And I was like ughh, sure. She was like just don't waste it, I laughed and was like alright. Then we were writing our opening statements and her paper was blank and I was like damn girl, wasting your own paper. After school, I was walking to meet my friend, and the girl that I was talking to on Friday, if you read my post earlier. She pulled me to the lockers and was like whats up. And I was like nothing really. Then I said why did you decline my offer? And she smiled and was like I don't know, and I was like I'm not a virgin anymore (I really am). And she like was NO WAY! WHO DID YOU DO IT WITH, WHEN DID YOU DO IT? I was just like over the summer, but we promised each other that we wouldn't tell people. This girl has a big mouth, and it is obvious. So we talk for a while, and eventually I leave, and I meet up with my friend. Me and my friend are just hanging out in the front lobby and she walks by, and I give her a smile, and she gives me one too. We go to my friends house after school just to hang out for like a half an hour. I left my cell phone in the car, because really I only use my cell phone for an alarm clock in the morning because I never really get any calls at all. So we get back in the car, and I have 4 missed calls and a voicemail. I thought it was my mom telling me to get home, but the girl called me three times, and one of my friends, who she was with, called and asked who I lost my virginity too. Lol, too funny. Where do you guys think I should go from here? I don't really like "lying", but I'd do anything to get some dome from this girl, lol. What's my next move?

 

[Canibus27]

No advice?

 

[kalash74]

It seems like what you are doing is working out. It also seems you have raised her interest level.

 

[Canibus27]

So today I went out and got a job application at my local YMCA, of course we don't call it that where I live. This should be good, I'll be around people, get out of the house, and make some money! One of my friends works there, he told me to get a job there so, it should be alright.

 

[Canibus27]

So today, everybody has been coming up to me asking who I lost my virginity to. I'm still a virgin, but I told this one chick that I wasn't (if you haven't been reading my journal), and I guess who entire school thinks I'm not a virgin! I don't really like living a lie, but I do like at least getting SOME attention. Anyways, we were walking down the stairs to the parking lot with the girl (who I told I wasn't a virgin), and I was walking down next to her friend and she, out of nowhere, asked if I could take her virginity! First off, I was blown away, not knowing if she was joking or being serious, so I said really? And she was like "yeah", I wasn't trying to be serious or anything, so I was like, well lets have our friend set it up for us. That was all that was said, BUT I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY MIND! She is pretty attractive, but I am just completely blown away and in total shock! Was she joking or what, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?

 

[Canibus27]

Hey sorry I haven't been posting here, but I haven't done anything worth posting lately. This weekend was great though.

On Friday was my sisters birthday. And after cake and presents I asked my friend if I should come to the homecoming game. He told me to come, so I went up in a polo. I met up with him and my other buddy. We were walking to the bleachers and right then and there it started pouring down rain. Well, we did what every sensible person would do in that situation, we threw our shirts off and got crunk! I hadn't been to a football game since my sophomore year, and when I did go I never chanted with the rest of the people in the stands. When the game was ending we all ran to the side of the field, and since it was our homecoming game we were going to rush to field. Then the police came and blocked off our entrance, and started threatening us by saying we would not be allowed to attend anymore games. After the game I chilled with two of my friends, and then he invited me for a homecoming after party Saturday night. Which brings us to the next segment.

If you read my first post, I'm the lowest level of a prep there is, and I don't get invited to parties, but my friend who is very popular invited me. I didn't go to homecoming, so I just stayed at home and went out to eat with my family. When I told my parents I was going to a party, they were acting really shady. Last October I was busted drinking, and they've never really let it go. They were constantly riding my tail about all the details. My dad made me give him my friends cell phone number, and my mom gave me 15 dollars in case I needed to call a cab if I didn't like what was happening. It really frustrates me because I want them to let me go out and live my life. I didn't go out every my freshmen, sophomore, and junior years. I wasted my entire high school career basically and now that I want to branch out, they are restricting me. Since I'm not very popular, I had to pay 5 bucks to get in. Right when I got in, two of my friends and some chick and I took four shots of vodka. I met a lot of new people which is good. I wasn't feeling buzzed after the shots so I got a beer and talked to some people. After a while it was my turn to play beer pong for the first time. My friend and I won our first match, but lost the second. I was feeling pretty buzzed, and I was enjoying myself, and I was constantly getting hugs from chicks, and everything. It was fun. I got pretty sober by the end of the night so when I came home today I was fine. I didn't kiss any girls, but that wasn't my intention's last night. I met a lot of new people and hopefully they will consider me a regular in there social group.

 

[Imohtep]

sounds like you're getting in there dude! keep it going

 

[Dazz]

the first way to geting over your fears is to recognize them.

the next step is to go to ideagasms.net, and read up!

 

[Canibus27]

Hey guys, here was my weekend.

On Friday I was pretty stuffed up during school. Every time it rains I get pretty stuffed up. Since my birthday was on Saturday, me and some buddies decided to take me to the movies after the football game and see American Gangster. After school on Friday's, they usually go to this Mexican food place and get some food. They asked me to go and get a Birthday meal, but I was not feeling the hottest so I declined. I didn't want to be whipping my nose in front of a lot of pretty girls! So I hung out at home until around 9, and that is when I usually go to the football games. I go late so I don't have to pay to get in, and because the games are usually boring because all our football team does is run the ball. So I got there and I called my friend to see where he was, and I found him in the stands. And right when I walked on the stands, 25-30 people started singing happy birthday. Honestly, one of the best feelings of my life, and something that I will never forget. I've come a long way from having no friends last year, to having a large group of people singing my happy birthday. I went up to them and basically got moshed! A lot of fun. After the game, me and some friends and there girlfriends went to see American Gangster. Great movie, by the way, in case you haven't seen it. Very long though. Everybody I was with was cuddling with there girlfriends the entire time, which reminded me I need to get in the game! After the movie, me and my best friend were going to smoke some cigars, but we were tired, and it was around 2 A.M., so we decided to postpone the cigars for another time.

On Saturday, which was my official 18th Birthday was pretty good. I went out and drove around for a little while. When I'm bored or trying to kill some time, I usually take the car out and drive for like half an hour. When I got back, and got dressed, my family, my aunt, and I went out to eat at my favorite food place. When we got back, we opened presents. I got a electric guitar, which is what I wanted. Is a Fender Starcaster a good guitar? Let me know! Then we ate cake and ice-cream. After that I watched my favorite basketball team (Blazers) take out the Mavs. Made it a complete birthday.

Well as some people have recommended, you need to make guy friends before you make girl friends. And that is what I have done. I believe I have a solid social backing now. People want to party with me after that one party I went to. So now that I have friends, it is now time to get girlfriends! I plan to take advantage of the sluts, lol, and get me some head for the first time in the upcoming weeks! I'm slowly turning around from a depressed anti-social loser, to a happy ball of energy wanting to live his life. And all it took was reuniting myself with an old friend from middle school.

 

[dimple]

My friend, I believe we both are riding the same bus.
I sucked fkin ass when it came to women; and now, senior year, I am doing my best to change that. Mystery's show introduced me to this whole PUA world. I now have enough PUA books to drown in, and enough internet tips to back me up. Been playing around with some of this stuff on almost every girl I meet lately, and Im improving every passing day.

Good Luck on your journey. lets both graduate as PUAs, eh?

 

[Canibus27]

Nice man, keep up the good work. If we continue to work hard we will both graduate PUA's! Keep me posted about how you're doing. I'll try to give you any help if you need it! Keep reading my journal! The weekend of November 23-24th could be big for me!