My reputation is keeping me from improving.

[Wonderbread166]

Originally posted by Viper
You don't get it man, these girls are just SO damn intimidating, that I'm starting to not even want to try. I might just go the rest of my high school life as an AFC, because if I have to act different and memorize a bunch of techniques, just so some girl can like me, than screw woman, the intimidating things. And yeah, today I realized, it's just not going to happen, I'm never going to be a Don Juan, attracting an HB8, who's being chased by a bunch of jocks and popular guys, is just too freaking complicated for me. I try telling myself that I'm the prize and that no woman can turn me down, but in the end I'm just fooling myself. I'm not cowarding out, I'm just saying that it's hard to approach these girls, who have all their little judgements about me.

You will never change your reality until you change your truth. But if you're giving up, save the rest of us the time and energy and stop posting.

 

[zzirf25]

Man, just do what I did, have one of your guy friends introduce you to one a girl he knows from ANOTHER SCHOOL!! Then the rep at your school doesn't mean sht. I never fcked with chicks from my own school, I always went other places. Just something for you to think about

 

[Zod]

Originally posted by Viper
Telling your self, "I'm more confident", isn't all it takes to improve your confidence. I don't believe that any article will help me do that either, it just can't be done.

No, that's not the problem. You aren't being receptive to ANYTHING people are telling you.

Go lift weights, hang out with friends, be social, eat healthy, get a hair cut, buy some nice clothes, buy some nice shoes.

Then once you get that **** sorted out, pick up girls, the first number you get will improve your confidence exponentially, I gaurantee it.

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by Wonderbread166
You will never change your reality until you change your truth. But if you're giving up, save the rest of us the time and energy and stop posting.

I never said I was giving up, people here are so presumative. I was just saying how hard it is to approach some of these girls. I even wanted to talk to this 'new girl' in my health class, but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to grab enough interest or attraction from her. You know, it would be awesome if you could go to sleep one night an AFC and wake up a cool, confident Don Juan, but life doesn't work that way. My confidence is one of the things thats keeping me away from approaching these woman, the simple thing is, I HAVE none. I'm willing to work to improve my confidence, so if you guys have any good articles on raising self confidence tell me, because I realize before I can get a girl to feel comfortable about me, I need to feel comfortable about myself. I also want to lose the 'care' factor, one of the reasons that I'm scared to approach girls/change is that I care too much about what other people think, I try telling myself "to not care" but that doesn't work and I just end up fooling myself.
When I approach girls, I usually say "Hey, [], How's it going?", it goes pretty good until the conversation stage and things get really boring from there.

 

[08aisaac]

I am telling you, you can go from the worst to the best.

Just work at it, and get some friends.

Like go do stuff.

Go meet people from different schools, and band competitions.

It will help tremendously.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

get the ball rolling

Yo Viper,

Before you can "go to sleep an AFC and wake up a DON" you need to rid all your negative thoughts and start a new.

I've lived in the same small isolated community all of my life and I'm still meeting people from my AFC days.

My solution to people who used to see me as an AFC is just to say "I've changed" as an opening and work on it from there... BS the hell out of everybody you meet.

Experiment with situations so you can hammer in the knotted nails.

VIPER VIPER VIPER, that name is highly respected in many forums and I have 2 friends who used to use it as their introduction nickname.... don't let the name down

What are your interests? After you finish a day of school whats the first thing that you do? play online games? masturbate? read a book?

Tell us what your interests are and your activities, NO MATTER HOW LAME YOU THINK THEY ARE!!!

We all will work on giving you an ego boost using your own words instead of explainin what you should do with OUR "natural" terms

 

[tek]

Don't let your fear control you. Stop thinking about that crap AFC and all that and do what aftershock said.
I've been a total AFC in school aswell and in the last two years my reputation was really crappy.
Yeah, maybe the girls in your school think you are a quiet loser guy. But behaving and thinking of yourself as one won't change anything. Go out and do something, you can't pull off a u-turn but you can work on it and try to be bold. Just don't think about what the others think about you. I know you can change.

 

[Viper]

All that is relavent, but I know exactly how to get out of this situation. I was unpopular in band a few years back, with no friends, not a chance in the world, and felt very much the same as you.

Well I went to district band with the one and only friend I kind of had. Well I see the hottest girl in the world, someone so hot, that in 7th grade she was turning seniors' heads.

Anyway I get this chicks number, by some weird chance, I was walking proof of AFC, to some extent.

And she asks me for my number and vice versa.

Well so I was feeling great, though desperate.

Anyway like when we come back, my friend is bragging to everyone how great this girl looked, adn how I got her number, and even the band director, she makes a few comments on it.

Well then people started to see me as more, and I had some social proof.

Pretty much, band competitions and trips are the easiest places to get a chicks number, because every girl goes to them in search of guys. Just get some people together, and go sarging. I mean just like become outgoing, and get a chicks number.


Trust me, you have the perfect setup.

And like my secret, was over the few days that district band was happening, me and my pal basically just hung out with other bands, and went to chicks hotel rooms, and played some PS2, with some popular udes in another county.

He was a good wingman. lol. Great wingman, made me look good.

I felt like a pimp. lol. But if you ever have like district band or something, you have to go.

Hey my MSN is theoneaaron1@hotmail.com
My Yahoo and AIM are aisac2008

Good advice, I'll definitely try doing a few of these things.

How about working on your confidence first.

I wish it were that easy.

Originally posted by 08aisaac
I am telling you, you can go from the worst to the best.

Just work at it, and get some friends.

Like go do stuff.

Go meet people from different schools, and band competitions.

It will help tremendously.

Well to be quite honest I don't have many interest and just sit around watching TV and surfing the net all day. That's pretty much what I do when I get home from school, do my homework, watch TV, surf the net, maybe play guitar, run or lift weights.

Still trying to get myself to adapt to the whole "I don't care" mindset, but it isn't going very well. Something else I noticed is that alot of girls ignore me because my voice, I read Senor Fingers whole thing on voices, but didn't really understand it.

 

[aftershock]

Two people have confirmed that I know what I'm talking about on this thread.

You haven't actually commented on it yet though.

So, get out there and get a bloody job! Four hours a week in a supermarket or pizza place won't exactly eat up your time, will it?

I guarantee it WILL make you more confident, it did me. Talking to strangers for four hours will improve your conversational skills too.

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by aftershock
Two people have confirmed that I know what I'm talking about on this thread.

You haven't actually commented on it yet though.

So, get out there and get a bloody job! Four hours a week in a supermarket or pizza place won't exactly eat up your time, will it?

I guarantee it WILL make you more confident, it did me. Talking to strangers for four hours will improve your conversational skills too.

I think you're advice is good, it's just that I have no clue where I can get a job at.

 

[LikRetsam]

Originally posted by Viper
I think you're advice is good, it's just that I have no clue where I can get a job at.

The man wants a quick fix.

 

[Smooth Player 056]

Originally posted by Viper
I think you're advice is good, it's just that I have no clue where I can get a job at.

try fast food places, retial such as sears, best buy, or maybe some clothing stores

just walk in and apply


- Smooth Player 056 -
Founder and Creator of the HSDJBC/ Contest
Founder of Ultimate HSDJ Technique

 

[Holland]

I even wanted to talk to this 'new girl' in my health class, but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to grab enough interest or attraction from her.

Well doing nothing hasn't created any interest either... or did it?

Now. Watching TV and browsing the net isn't interesting. Get a hobby, something you can be passionate about. Sport or art. I suggest something you can do on your own in your situation. Come on, their are a hundreds of things that you can do in this world everyday. Why whouldn't you try something?

Get away from the whole 'school thing'. School (especially high school) is like society: random people with different interests placed together. It's better to go somewhere to meet people with the same interests (like music --> bars, clubs, concerts)

One more thing:
There ain't no such thing as a quick fix!

 

[aftershock]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
The man wants a quick fix.

You won't get one here. Becoming a legendary person is something that happens over time, rather than that happens overnight.

Originally posted by Viper
I think you're advice is good, it's just that I have no clue where I can get a job at.

Jobs that I know that will employ 15 year olds:

- Pubs and restaurants to do the washing up - advantage is you'll be seeing others in the kitchen and can chat as much as you like, as there will be no customers around
- Supermarkets
- Most small shops in town
- Fast food kitchens
- Pizza delivery places
- Garden centres
- Anything where students work, effectively.

Walk into every shop in your town and ask "Are there any vacancies?" Ask politely and with confidence - the worst they can say is no. Get ten or so application forms, fill them in, and send them back. Wait for them to call you for an interview, or to offer a job. It's suprisingly similiar to picking up women!

Moneys an advantage too. Even an extra $30 a week or so will give you greater freedom.

An alternative is to get a job in a town 6-7 miles away, rather than too local, as you'll meet more new people. I've had two part time and one full time job, all in different places. The result? I have my 1st job friends, 2nd job friends, uni friends, college friends, school friends and I'm getting to know the people in my new job and getting drunk with them at the weekend, and all the aboves friends. Thats a heck of a lot of people I know.

Most places will take you on at 16 - whens your birthday?

 

[i am me]

Alright Mike. I can't say that I'm like you but I know some people who are. I try to be nice to them too, just so you know...I'd be your friend if you went to my school hahaha

First thing you gotta do is not focus on getting girls for right now. I understand what you're saying, and it CAN be almost impossible to get girls with that kind of reputation. Just start talk to people more (girls and guys). Be more social. Show them that you're not wierd. Also, improve the way you dress if you can. Just start doing these things and eventually people will start to respect you more...

/\I made that sound simple but in reality, it might take some time. Those should be your goals for now though. Fortunately, the new school year is coming up so you have an excuse for "changing all of a sudden" (summer). It won't look wierd if you change your attitude at school.

When you're confident in yourself as a person, then try macking on the ladies/getting a girlfriend (which evers your preference). Hope that helps, playa. Don't give up

 

[Super FLY Guy]

Until recently I was alot like you Mike. I feared approaching women and lacked confidence. Over the summer I started lifting weights, coming to this site, and getting out and doing more. I reccomend joining some clubs at your school or getting into some sports. Changing your body can have a huge impact on your life, so I also reccommend lifting weights (you will begin to have greater confidence and self respect; others will begin to respect you more too.)

Another thing that has helped me is to imagine that I am an old man lying on my death bed. For the last few minutes of my life I think of all the things I wish I would have done and feel great regret and and remorse looking back at what I missed out on. This helps me to grab my balls and make the most of my life.

I wish you good luck and hope that your life will soon make a change for the better.