My problem with "Buddy"

[Pepe Le Pew]

Hello guys,
I need your advice!
I work with all girls in my job.
When I started working I went in not wanting any relationships, no attraction nothing with anyone of those girls.
Basically, I wanted to leave my personal life at home, and keep work professional.
All the girls I work with are fine hb's 7-9's.....
It all started the first few days I started working there......
guess I was too nice....! but the 'buddy!" thing started.........
I'd be minding my own business, joking etc....
in my own world and all of a sudden ...
one of them would say "Here you go buddy "
I was kind of thrown of guard and let it go..........but then it kept on happening they would say "you're my buddy" etc........
so I learned Double Your Dating skills, and bought every DJ book out there.......... they are a little bit better and it happens less often than it did before......it's a pain because I just want to be at peace!
I don't like none of those girls...........
Now one of my supers is female and she did it too!
I was talking about one of my outside experiences and she started calling me "Buddy' again.......
it drives me CRAZY!
I get this rush through me like I want to say "Don't you know that's rude!" or "I DON'T FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!" .....
now I don't want to be rude in my workplace....because romance is out of place there, and I don't want to stoop to their level because I'm too classy....
so I mostly distance myself and give them the silent treatment....even emotionally I totally detach myself from them............!
Then they come looking for me.........trying to get my attention again to lure me to their bait or something....so then I gotta act cold forever!
Anyways if they call me "pal" or "buddy" it drives me nuts!
I don't mind "friend" but the other ones are like pet names or something...............
WHAT DO I DO!! Keeping my class that is!
Maybe they like me or something?
I find when I am too ****y they will say the 'B' word.
When I open up too much to them they will say the 'B' word.
If I supplicate too much they will say the 'B' word.......MAN! I JUST WANT TO WORK AND GET THE JOB DONE!
Usually I will metaphorically talk about other relationships, or say things like "I can't stand it when 'girls call me sweety or honey' or when they use demeaning names"........
But it's like these chicks are dumb or something? they don't get my hint STOP CALLING ME ...the 'B' word..........
or if I say to them that I would never date them or that I see them as sisters they'll use the 'B' word again!
Someone help me kick some butt !

 

[Oscar Wilde]

There's a guy called "Toke" around here somewhere.

You need to go chill with him.

Oscar.

 

[vegajed]

Hey buddy ol' pal,

one word:


prozac

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

he! That's the easy way out! did I tell you I was the only guy working there?...............just a few months ago did they hire another guy!

 

[numlock]

so you flip burgers at Hooters?

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

LOL!

 

[TesuqueRed]

Being called "Buddy" means they want to fvck you senseless--???

New one on me.


And you don't want that from "hb 7-9"s, yes?



You prefer 3-5's?

 

[Bill]

The meaning you give to "buddy" comes from your own mind, not necessarily from theirs... next time you hear it, force yourself to hear "friend", "colleague" or whatever.
Peace.

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

Bill , thanks for the sound advice man
...........................................
I'm working w/ these girls........I've DJ'd a girl at my last job, and it became a full time relationship..........anyways..........
I need to work, and romantic relationships in my workplace are personally not acceptable, I will not compromise. After the massive tests I've experienced from roughly 20 chicks during these two years.......only 4 stand out that have given me the buddy treatment......these 4 have LTR boyfriends and are the only ones that have seniority over me...they were hired before I was....all the others are quiet.....and give me no problems......on the other hand they don't challenge me.........
They
#1 are either doing this to elevate their power over me, as a man.
#2 because they don't know no better.
#3 Playing games with me trying to catch my attention.......it is an outright challenge......


I'm just trying to reframe the whole buddy thing to work for me ya' dig?

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

I think I've just reached the core of my problem.......
Those 4 chicks all have seniority over me......
They were there when I got hired and I was doing my best to get along. Even to the point of supplication. I've never realized this until now......

 

[legolas]

There are two ways out.

1. As Bill suggested you could reframe the whole thing and put your meaning into it and be at peace with yourself and them, but they'll keep calling you 'buddy'

2. Retaliate. Start calling them 'baby' As in 'Hey buddy can you do X?' And you say : 'sure thing baby' I don't know if this will work with superiors so play it at your own risk.

It all happens in that first time. Thew ay you handle the first time dictates to them how you'll handle it in the future. If you let it slide the first time, then the second time it will all be over.

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

A++! legolas, I've been trying to look for the equivalent to buddy for 2 years.........it was as simple as 'baby' ha!
I've tried 'sister' 'girl' (this makes me sound effemenite like a girlfriend rather than alpha).......
but sweetie, honey, and baby are = buddy and pal!
Yeah I think I let it go to far the first time, so they kept on doing it.......now I know why and who does it?
They kind of took advantage of my situation.....
You don't understand guys this is breakthrough for me!

 

[BGMan]

Haha Pepe, it's funny about those girls calling you "buddy", I've been doing the same thing to a couple girls who I think want me but make excuses. But I mean it as a "I see you as just a friend" gesture (friend = buddy).

One of them didn't like it very much and thought it "rude".

BGMan

 

[DankNuggs]

I still don't get what the issue is...You think because they call you 'buddy' that they want to bang you? Doesn't make sense to me unless there is something else. You seem like you just need to chill out...I always hated being called buddy, because the person who says it doesn't want to bother learning your name. These girls know your name...

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

DarkNuggs,
Like you said yes it is just rude!
Do you know what reframing is?
Well, one of things I've learned about when someone is rejecting me is that they might be having a bad day, or maybe that's just the way they are......maybe they're just annoying people that are hard to get along with.....but it ain't me.....
Also, to have my core belief work for me I have to find a way to turn the situation around in a way that I can perceive it favorably for me.
I reframed the situation to work for me......read DJ Bible ;
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000930.html
or
DYD
Yesterday when I posted it I realized the problem came from just 2 women who were challenging my male power.....the others are no longer challenges.
The cup is not half empty, but half full.........see?

 

[tx_xp]

I would embrace it dude. Why not just go with the flow and have fun?

 

[Elimidate]

I actually started using the word 'buddy' a few weeks ago and now everyone I talk to uses it.

"Stories now start like "A buddy of mine" etc

A lot of people us the word dude or man after a question -"Whats up man"

My best friend was talking to a girl on the phone and called er buddy..I started to laugh but she doesn care and they have sex all the time so I wouldn't rule it out...what do you want them to call you buddy? Babe?? Who would call anyone babe in the workplace anyway unless they were a known couple??

Elimidate

 

[Atratus]

Here are some more suggestions:

* = see this note:

NOTE: At all times do not show you're affected in any negative way or wether you would care wether they'd stop using it or keep calling you buddy.

1. Adress them one with buddy, and then tell them to use your name, or a nickname or whatever. (Be friendly and smile though!!! *)
She: Thanks, buddy [starts to walk away]
YOU: "Hey buddy, the name's Jolly Roger." (teasing grin)

Do in front of anyone else because what you don't want to do is to tell everyone one by one. (*)

2. If they keep calling you buddy or you really don't care what they'd call you: TEASE them. I know this is giving them attention, but at least it might shut them up. Call them baby, babe, lala, or, if you really want to upset them, grannie. Sometimes use your real name, only to use suddenly her nickname again: "Bye Jennifer.... [pause], grandma." You have to be sadistic and you have to enjoy it. You're doing it to have fun. (*)

Also, they might ask you not to call you that (if they're tactless beetches). You could ask her what she wants to call you, make up something you like, or move on to step three.

3. Don't do this if you've followed step 2 , UNLESS you've done it enough so that they've actually Shown they're annoyed because of what you call them:

Try to make up a different nickname everytime. (*) Again, this is for fun and decoration, not to put pressure on her. Be original, and if you can make them appropriate to the situation somehow. For example, if three of you are talking HB gives the standard bad dating advice to a girlfriend of hers, you might want to say miss ABC of AFC. Or whatever.
Alright, you might have come up with something better than that, but it works for me when i want people to respect me.
Why does it work? I think it's because people don't want to sound lame calling you the same thing over and over.

You might be a ****tease and supplicating attention you don't like, and it might all slip into a flirting session... all too easily, if you know what i mean... so be careful

I hope it's helpful.

 

[Atratus]

Don't insist too much on being 'classy'. Distancing yourself from whatever emotions you feel is fine.

Being classy is also fine, but...
If you're really classy you won't think about class or talk about class or wear classy **** and still come off as classy, even when you think the only way you can possibly be classy is when you insist that you're "actually very classy when i clean the **** and dirt from my skin and have taken a shower".

Don't be afraid to be made fun of. Dunno who said this, but someone wise who gave very good DJ advice in another thread said something like: if you're short, be funny and don't be afraid to make fun of yourself.

If you're having fun, you won't be worried about being classy. You'll act classy without even thinking about it, because you've (hopefully) learned to be classy by nature, even when you're mudfighting, or manurefighting. Real class remains visible no matter how much **** they throw at you.

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

HAHAHA!
Atratus great advice thanks!
Watch out grannies here I come!
Oh btw.....

Classy = c/f

Hey I think they can sense that I've broken through coz they were walking on eggshells today..........
I even stared deep into a clients eyes today and she started giggling like a nervous schoolgirl......That DJ Bible week one egoboost thing is hitting me.