My Path to Becoming a DJ

[Slaya123]

Hello everyone! I am new here and don't really know what to do, but I've looked around a little bit and saw that some people made journals to document their improvement, so I decided I might as well too. I'm a little bit lost with all of the info in these forums, but I found the high school DJ bible and I've just decided I'm going to start by reading all the stickies in this forum and take it nice and slow.

So far I've only read the first two posts in the DJ bible which were
- Kill That Desperation By Pook
- The First Step To Being A Don Juan By Lord Gaith

Both of these posts made a lot of sense, and already in that second post there is an activity to do, which was just to figure out what you want to do with your life and write it down along with goals on how to get there.

This Journal will pretty much be for myself to keep myself honest. I probably won't ask very many questions because this is a personal journey so I figure that you should try and figure most things out for yourself. I'm going to spend the rest of today trying to figure out what I want in life because I've thought about it before, but there are just so many different things out there to experience. Picking a career I want is even worse as I'm interested in such a broad range of things, so hopefully by tomorrow I'll at least have some things narrowed down that I can write out.

I guess that's pretty much it for my introduction post in my journal. I'll spend the rest of today thinking about my goals and I'll get them written down tomorrow to get some sense of where I want to go in life. Then I'll try and read the rest of that first section (Into the Rabbit Hole...).

Before I go I do just have one quick question.
What is the difference between the DJ Bible and the High School DJ Bible? Is it just that the High School Bible has examples that relate to high school so it's easier to apply, or is it pretty different material? And also should I read both or just stick to the HS Bible? I was thinking about doing the Boot Camp in the DJ Bible but I'm not sure if you can actually apply that stuff in HS.

I'm excited to get this journey started! Wish me Luck

 

[amazingswayze]

welcome to the forums! we love to offer opinions to budding dj's! still in high school i assume? what's your history, reason for being here, any personal info?

best wishes!

 

[yungballa]

Slaya, I suggest you read the whole DJ bible and highschool DJ bible. I am in high school also. Reading both bibles will increase your knowledge on how to become a DJ tremendously; also it will help set you on your own right path in life.

Take with a grain of salt what people say in these forums. Trust your own experiences, they won't betray you.

 

[Slaya123]

I knew I forgot something! I didn't think it was as big as my entire introduction though. Yes, I am still in High School, I'm a sophomore. I love basketball and I also run. I'm friends with the popular kids, but I'm not really totally in the popular crowd if that makes any sense (as in I don't receive as much attention from other kids as some people do). I have friends from lots of different circles of people though, and I'm happy with who I am friends with. I would like to strengthen my friendships with some of the more popular kids though, because I only actually hang out with one or two of them and the rest I just talk with in school.

In the past I've only been in one relationship...however, I never moved things along (from nervousness) and I wasn't that interested in her so I dropped it quickly. I'd like to think I am not a complete failure when it comes to girls. If a girl starts a conversation with me I end up becoming calm and collected around her and I'm able to constantly make them laugh. It's if I have to start the conversation that's the hard part. If I get to know them well enough, then starting a conversation is no problem, but if I don
't know them very well it's hard to talk to them unless the situation calls for it.

Right now, a very attractive girl at my school likes me (I know this from her actions, what we've said, and her best friend and other friends told me she did). I am very comfortable around her now and we are starting to hang out and stuff like that. There are some areas where I am still a little nervous about (like exactly how and when to ask her to be my girlfriend), but I've been pretty much figuring it out as I go along. I'm proud of myself this time as I haven't messed anything up and I'm way more confident than my last relationship (I initiated getting together actually which I'm always too afraid to do. When I did it I wasn't nervous at all).

I have been told and heard quite a few girls comment on me being attractive. I'm not trying to sound ****y or anything but I want to type out the full experience. Even though this should boost my confidence, it still doesn't really. Like I said, I can talk to girl who have talked to me first for a while really easily. But even just saying hi in the hallway to a girl I rarely talk to is very hard for me so I never do it, even though I know I'll never be able to get them if I can't even say hi. So I have to work on that.

I came here because I was tired of seeing my other guy friends have the girls talking to them all the time and hanging out with them, while I just listened to their stories of these fun times with other girls. I wanted in on a piece of that action, so I searched the internet and after a surprisingly long time, finally stumbled upon this forum.

So I think that pretty much wraps up my introduction here. I said I'd get my goals and everything written down yesterday, but I didn't have time and I am still narrowing it down. I've gotten careers narrowed down to two things that I would enjoy doing though, but I'm sure it'll change in the future again as it always does. Maybe I should make goals just for general things that I want to do/accomplish in life for now rather than a specific career to choose? That way I'll still know sort of what direction I want to take in life, and later down the line I'll be able to more easily choose a career from that, because right now it's impossible for me to choose a career and know that that's what I want to do the rest of my life.

And thank you for welcoming me to the forum. It's great to be here! And I will read both bibles as well. Thanks for the advice

 

[Aspiring Don Juan]

Good luck on your journey! If you stay committed you'll see results very quickly

 

[Slaya123]

Alright I finally have time to right out some of the goals I have. I have narrowed my ultimate dreams down to a couple of them, but I don't really have one ultimate one. They all sort of relate though so if I work towards one and fail or don't really enjoy it, then I can still easily switch to working towards another.

If I try and work on a bunch of different areas of my life all at once I end up quickly burning out and then quitting those things all together. So I'm going to try somethign that I read in some self-improvement post here I think. I'm going to divide my goals into Physical, Mental, Social,General, and Lifetime Goals which will only be in this first post. I will pick three goals for each category and work on them every month. At the end of a month I will post three new goals for each category and continue doing that. If for example the goal was to learn to play piano, then the next month I would continue playing piano or I'd add another goal for it if I really enjoyed doing it. If I absolutely hate it, then I'd mention that I'm stopping that, because I believe you should only do things that you enjoy. Anyways, onto the goals!

Physical
1. Start working on Kettle bell Workouts either in the morning or if I have morning practice sometime after school. Get the Basic form down and then work on 2 basic exercises and form those into a workout to get me ready for the more advanced stuff in the next month or so. (I will do the typical workout stuff with weights in the summer along with kettle bells a couple times a week. During the School year I'm in sports year round so I don't have much time to go to a gym. It's easier to use kettle bells at home).
2. Start doing my back re-positioning exercises right away after every workout. I have to do this because I hurt my back and this prevents me from future injuries and I am getting lazy about this.
3. Start eating only one unhealthy thing per day and stop just eating because I'm bored. I'm really skinny so getting fat isn't an issue, but I could perform better if I ate healthier.

Mental
1. Start reading an 30 min - 1 hour before bed and don't spend that time on the computer/T.V./ etc.
2. Start going to bed at 9:30 every night and waking up at 6:00 (I will start this next week). On the weekends I will probably break this rule going to bed a little later and getting up later, but I want to stick to this schedule on weekdays. (this goes with mental because it keeps me sharp and focused)
3. Do my homework immediately after getting home and eating/showering/doing recovery exercises after a workout. (This also involves a little bit of studying my notes well in advance of a test so I actually learn it).

Social
1. Stop being intimidated by being around other "popular" kids. When I am around them, even though we are friends, I'm not my usual fun self. I don't talk nearly as much, I'm not as funny because I think they won't like my jokes, and when there is a girl around I feel like I can't try and flirt with her because the other kids will think I'm not good enough to get a girl and I don't want them to think bad about me (I've been too shy with girls in the past, so they think I can't get girls). So I just have to act like they are anybody else and just let myself be free around them. The way it is, I'm so focused on trying to get them to like me that I am not as fun around them so they don't like me as much as they could. I'm hoping to get to the point where I'm hanging out with more of them because right now I only hang out with like one of them. I'm hoping to also expand the number of people I hang out with, because right now I usually only hang with the same 1-3 people.
2. Start attending more school events and other fun activities that other kids do. Lots of times I am too lazy to go so I miss out on lots of great experiences because I just want to chill at home. If I force myself to go, I know I'll end up enjoying myself so I just have to make myself go initially.
3. Start talking to anyone and everyone and being nice to everyone. (The DJ bootcamp may help with being able to talk to anyone. But at school it's pretty easy to talk to anyone)

General
1. Be in the second JV runner by the end of the cross country season.
2. Keep my room and my house nice and clean. I am always being lazy so I end up procrastinating with things like that. So I guess with this goal I'm just trying to get rid of laziness.
3. I'm interested in Lucid Dreaming, So I want to start practicing that. For those of you who don't know what this is, just Google it! It is a very fun thing to do and I've done it before, but I lost motivation and got out of the practice. Hopefully with this goal written down, I'll be able to stick to it. I'll consider this my first main hobby besides sports that I'm going to pick up.
4. I know this is 4 goals but I also want to start working on AT LEAST ballhandling for basketball for 15-20 minutes a day. I haven't even touched a basketball since cross country and I don't want to lose my skills.

Life Dreams
So I've been doing a ton of thinking and I asked some family members about this for help as well. Now this may completely change int he future, but I'm pretty sure I have this narrowed down to the few things that I would like to do.

Since I really really like basketball so I'll just practice that a ton and pursue it, because it is probably my biggest passion right now (sports in general is my passion and my favorite sport is whatever sport I am currently in. But my favorite sport all the time is basketball if that makes any sense). I want to play college ball and if I'm good enough, maybe even go onto the pros. However, I would also love to become a head coach for a college or NBA team, as being a coach is very fun to me (I have coached younger kids before) and it is cool just lead you team to a victory. So even though both those jobs are very competitive, they are what my passion is, and either one of them would be an amazing thing to be doing.


I was going to put down a novelist because I'm very creative and love thinking about fantasy things and things that are impossible, but then I thought about sitting down and typing out a book all day, and I realized it would be boring. I would rather live out those fantasy things, which is why lucid dreaming appeals to me so much and I want to practice it. I am however very creative (in an ideas way, definitely not an art way) and I've been told that by many people. So maybe next month I'll have one of my goals be to write a short story and see how much I enjoy it to see if I like writing.

I thought it would be cool to be a federal law enforcement agent (DEA, FBI, etc.) but even though I'd like the excitement, I don't know if I could handle any murders or even the possibility of having to kill someone. I'll have to think about it.

Finally, It would also be cool to explore space or a planet (if they have the technology for humans to explore new planets when I'm an adult) but I don't want to go into engineering and I think that's what astronauts have to do? I'll have to research that so correct me if I'm wrong. But this is probably my lowest priority of a dream that I have.

Finally, I thought it would be cool to be a federal law enforcement agent (DEA, FBI, etc.) but even though I'd like the excitement, I don't know if I could handle any murders or even the possibility of having to kill someone. I'll have to think about it.

So those are just some ideas of my dream life. The basketball player or coach dream is my strongest one so I've decided to pursue that one but if I find I like something else better or I don't want to have a career in basketball anymore, I'll then re-evaluate and then work towards what I want next.

This was typed out very quickly so I'm sure at a lot of parts it makes zero sense, but like I said, this is mostly for me so I just need the basic idea to remind myself of what I was trying to get across. In the future these posts won't be nearly as long, so I'll take my time typing them out and they'll hopefully make way more sense.

 

[Slaya123]

Thanks for the advice Ruler! We ended up hanging out a bit more and have held hands and cuddled, still haven't kissed though. Next time I have a chance I'm going to make the move, there just have been too many people around everywhere else and I felt like I shouldn't go for it then. I was still having trouble with how I should ask her to be my GF, so thanks for the advice. Others are labeling us as that already so I think I'll just let them give us the title and if she wants to bring it up she can. But I'm just gonna keep ACTING like she's my GF.

I do have a question though. What do I say if others ask if she is my GF? Because I can't say she is because we aren't really but we are together. So should I just say that we are dating? Some advice here would be appreciated.

As a quick update, I feel like writing out all of my goals like I did was a big waste of time. I honestly have no clue what I want to do in life, so I'll just live in the moment while focusing on my passions RIGHT NOW, while still slightly thinking into the future so I have a basic plan for my life. However, I feel like writing all that out was a waste because I won't follow it. I feel too constricted to that and then I feel like I have no freedom and that is a negative for me. So I'll just keep a couple big goals for this year and write them down. That way I can do what I said and focus on what I enjoy right now, without having to make an entire life plan for myself.

Also, I'm going to make this more of an actual journal now. Every so often I'll give an update of myself with a story or what I've learned, just to document my progress and help me improve. I'll try to make the posts semi-short and leave out boring stuff, only including the most important.

 

[Slaya123]

OK so just a brief update on my dating life. I'm noticing a slight change in how I act, and maybe its just my imagination but I'm talking to more girls now than ever, and guys seem to be more friendly and accepting as well. I just feel way more confident, powerful, fun, and happy than I ever have been. Anyways I pretty much joined here because I wasn't getting as many girls as I wanted. It was easy talking if there was an excuse or they started it. But going out of my way or making a move was too hard for me.

So right now I'm with a very very attractive girl at my school (someone compliments me everyday which is starting to get annoying). Anyways, I kissed her! I'm proud of myself because I was so nervous but forced myself to do it. It was my first kiss and I failed the first attempt (I closed my eyes and sort of missed. Our lips made contact but it was in the corner of my mouth haha. I don't even know how I failed that bad. It was either because I closed my eyes too soon and missed from that or just because I was nervous). So I laughed it off and she laughed with me and then we went in for the kiss again and the second time I got it right and it was an amazing kiss if I do say so myself . Hopefully she doesn't think I'm a bad kisser though now because I messed up on the first attempt. I played the fail cool in front of her. I laughed it off and then I mentioned how it was awful and that we'll pretend it never happened, in a funny way. I did feel embarrassed and was worried she'd lose interest or think I'm an awful kisser, but now I realize that she wouldn't have given me a second chance to kiss her if she lost interest because of that bad kiss. So now I'm just going to focus on the second kiss and completely forget about the first one...I'll just laugh it off.

 

[amazingswayze]

no one gets it right at first lol... congrats on your first kiss man! that's just foreplay. keep on macking and let your instinct guide you. it seems like you have balls so just keep working on yourself nice update bro

 

[Slaya123]

Alright so I've been slacking on improving myself since I got with this girl. Not really sure where we stand right now but I'm pretty sure she has been busy and it might be just me over-analyzing it. I was starting to get a little freaked out and not wanting to lose her, but then I took a step back from the relationship and realized that my neediness level was to the max. So I've calmed down and just am giving her some space so I can stop being so needy and also so (hopefully) things can get back to normal.

That's really just a brief summary of what's happened, but I don't feel like typing out more because it really doesn't matter what happened. I am glad that I did realize that I was being VERY needy though because now it has motivated me to start actually working on change. Even though I didn't think I was being needy, I'm sure she picked up on it and I just hope that I wasn't needy to the point of making her lose all interest. I don't want to lose her because I do still like her and I enjoy spending time with her, but I'm trying now to just get rid of the thinking that I HAVE to be with her, and start realizing that I just WANT to be with her. So it's not the end of the world if I lose her.

Anyways, all of the posts on this forum get confusing about where to start, and even the DJ bible would take too much of my time to read through all of it. So I've started reading "Models" by Mark Manson and I'm going to go through the DJ bootcamp along with it. These two things together should be enough without having to read too much (I'm gonna break my reading of "Models" down to a chapter or two a day so I can actually retain all the info I've learned) and they should actually give me a good plan of action so I can go out there and do something about improving myself, instead of just reading about how to do it.

Hopefully I can get my neediness to go away, if girls have picked up on it it must annoy them so much! And it makes me annoyed with myself for being such a wimp about all this. But I'm gonna try to not focus on the negatives, I just gotta focus on improving

 

[Slaya123]

So I just finished the book "Models" and it was a really good read! I want to start applying everything I've learned into practice, but I have a bit of a dilemma. In all of the practice excersices I've seen you they all say to start approaching more and more women each day until your confidence reaches a high level. Being in high school though, I dont know how I can do that. There is nowhere to go where tons of girls hang out and I know pretty much everyone in my school. So does anyone know how these excercises can be specifically tailored to high school students? Or any thing like the DJ Bootcamp but designed for high schoolers and not full out adults who can go to clubs and stuff?

Also, I realized today that I was being needy with this last girl because I thought I wouldn't have any other girls to go to if I became single. I talk to some girls, but every time it is sort of just meaningless conversation. I found out why I am too scared to make a move on girls in my school. If they show high interest right away then I'll (timidly) pursue them back. But we all know that girls only go after you once in a blue moon...at least in my high school and if I did that I wouldn't feel in control of my dating life. I want to be able go after them first, but my problem is that I am absolutely terrified to start random conversations with them, and I don't want to wait around to have an "excuse" to talk to them. The reason I'm scared is because I'll feel like they'll think I'm being weird for randomly talking to them and it'll be awkward because I'll see them everyday in the hallway. Even worse if I have classes with them. I'm also worried that if that happened they'd tell their friends until everyone in the school would know that I was weird by randomly talking to her and they'd give me a bunch of crap. I keep avoiding talking to them and telling myself that if a situation happens sometime that forces me to talk to them, then I can pursue them because our starting conversation wouldn't just be me randomly going up and talking to them (showing my desire and interest in them), and then I wouldn't have to worry about them perceiving me as weird/creepy. But again then I'd have to rely on external factors to be able to pursue chicks and I am absolutely sick and tired of not feeling in control at all with my dating life. I just feel so hopeless and powerless, always wondering when the next random thing will happen that will hopefully introduce me to a girl I am attracted in, and honestly I'm starting to get pissed off now just writing this because I'm so tired of it. (I didn't realize this bothered me so much until I just wrote that out. A ton of anger and a feeling of powerlessness just surfaced that I didn't even know was down there, so it is time for change now). I know that those are probably irrational fears, but any advice on how to overcome this? And some advice on how I can go about talking to chicks in my class? Because even though I have a hard time showing my interest in any girl in the school, showing interest to a girl in my class is even worse because I have to see her everyday and I feel like if she would reject me things would be very awkward. So some advice in this department would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I was in a huge rush to type this so hopefully I got my points that I was trying to make acroos

 

[amazingswayze]

So I just finished the book "Models" and it was a really good read! I want to start applying everything I've learned into practice, but I have a bit of a dilemma. In all of the practice excersices I've seen you they all say to start approaching more and more women each day until your confidence reaches a high level. Being in high school though, I dont know how I can do that. There is nowhere to go where tons of girls hang out and I know pretty much everyone in my school. So does anyone know how these excercises can be specifically tailored to high school students? Or any thing like the DJ Bootcamp but designed for high schoolers and not full out adults who can go to clubs and stuff?

Also, I realized today that I was being needy with this last girl because I thought I wouldn't have any other girls to go to if I became single. I talk to some girls, but every time it is sort of just meaningless conversation. I found out why I am too scared to make a move on girls in my school. If they show high interest right away then I'll (timidly) pursue them back. But we all know that girls only go after you once in a blue moon...at least in my high school and if I did that I wouldn't feel in control of my dating life. I want to be able go after them first, but my problem is that I am absolutely terrified to start random conversations with them, and I don't want to wait around to have an "excuse" to talk to them. The reason I'm scared is because I'll feel like they'll think I'm being weird for randomly talking to them and it'll be awkward because I'll see them everyday in the hallway. Even worse if I have classes with them. I'm also worried that if that happened they'd tell their friends until everyone in the school would know that I was weird by randomly talking to her and they'd give me a bunch of crap. I keep avoiding talking to them and telling myself that if a situation happens sometime that forces me to talk to them, then I can pursue them because our starting conversation wouldn't just be me randomly going up and talking to them (showing my desire and interest in them), and then I wouldn't have to worry about them perceiving me as weird/creepy. But again then I'd have to rely on external factors to be able to pursue chicks and I am absolutely sick and tired of not feeling in control at all with my dating life. I just feel so hopeless and powerless, always wondering when the next random thing will happen that will hopefully introduce me to a girl I am attracted in, and honestly I'm starting to get pissed off now just writing this because I'm so tired of it. (I didn't realize this bothered me so much until I just wrote that out. A ton of anger and a feeling of powerlessness just surfaced that I didn't even know was down there, so it is time for change now). I know that those are probably irrational fears, but any advice on how to overcome this? And some advice on how I can go about talking to chicks in my class? Because even though I have a hard time showing my interest in any girl in the school, showing interest to a girl in my class is even worse because I have to see her everyday and I feel like if she would reject me things would be very awkward. So some advice in this department would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I was in a huge rush to type this so hopefully I got my points that I was trying to make acroos

I didn't read the whole thing but I can tell you worry about girls. High school is the perfect place to practice your game. All your nervousness will fade as you gain experience. What you must do is take the first step and fight your feelings. Your supposed to approach. Find the balls. They're in you. Practice on HB6's if you need to.

 

[Aspiring Don Juan]

I understand the exact problems you are going through, as I'm also a sophomore in High School. My scenario is very similar to yours only I encountered what you are right now last year. It really turned to sh*t and I fvcked up my rep, but that's a whole other story. Anywayss, to get over your fear of talking to girl, just do it. It's a lot harder than it sounds but honestly, you just need to relax, have fun, and not treat them too seriously. If you are confident about it, you shouldn't be too worried about what they say because it doesn't at all. Their perception of you shouldn't change how you act at all. If you worry constantly, you won't be able to have fun because you fear of something that doesn't exist. And for you girls you don't know, if you are ever in proximity, just go introduce yourself. It doesn't have to be super smooth, but at least she will acknowledge that you exist, and it will be a lot easier the next time, instead of having to start fresh. Think about it, if you don't take the moment you might not have another one. All the best.

 

[Slaya123]

Time to set a few achievable goals to slowly start improving myself!!! I always lose motivation if I aim for too many goals in the beginning so I'm going to keep it at only three goals at a time for now, using the complete guide to self improvement to help me out. Anyways I won't be focusing on any specific girls during this time period because I just want to get good with girls in general and it's harder to improve if you're with a girl. I also don't really want a relationship right now. I'll list three things that each goal benefits me with so if I start losing motivation I can just look at those benefits and think about how much my life will improve because of those and get back on track. So let's get into my improvement goals...I'll try to update these daily on how I'm progressing.

Basics:

• First off I wanted to do kettlebell exercises because I can't get to a gym until the summer (and I don't have time) and I only have kettlebells at my house. So I am reading the book "Enter the Kettlebell" for a workout on that. ----- This will increase confidence, make me stronger/more physically attractive, increase my energy and motivation to get more done
• I'm also going to start eating healthier. Not really counting calories, at least not at the moment, but just eating generally overall better. I may slowly work into actually tracking what's going into my body so I can fuel myself better. ----- Make my skin look better, help clear up acne, make me feel overall healthier and better about myself (confidence)
• Stop procrastinating on homework and chores around the house. When I have to do them I need to jsut get them done so things don't pile up...I'll have to do them anyway and there is no time like the present
• Start working on getting more fulfilling hobbies. My current main hobby is basketball (or whatever sport is going on that time of year), but I want to have a more well rounded life. I'll be adding and getting rid of hobbies as I go if I like them or not. The first hobby I will work on is Lucid Dreaming. This will be my main hobby for some time because it takes quite a bit of mental energy to learn.Video Games is also one of my hobbies but I don't play those too much.
• Go to bed at 10 (except when with friends on a weekend night) and wake up at 8 on weekends, 6:00 on weekdays. ----- Allow me plenty of time to rest, gives me more energy, look healthier/better

Those aren't necessarily improvements that I will be working on because all that is right there is a determination to get it done, I just wrote those down so I don't forget to do them. They are things I will always be working towards so I will always be doing the above improvements along with the others.

Physical Improvement:

• Improve Skin...This includes acne (I need to wash my face at least twice a day sometimes I only do it once) and also keeping skin smooth by using lotion ----- Skin will look healthier, I'll be more attractive, I won't have dry and flaky skin

Intellectual Improvement:

• Read any book I enjoy for at least 20 minutes a day (this will help me to slowly get used to reading everyday before I start focusing on reading books of certain topics to increase my knowledge) ----- Increase vocabulary, Get my imagination more active, have more things to talk about (the story)

Social Improvement:

• Say hi to everyone I see in the hallway and keep eye contact + smile when doing it. I won't say hi in between classes because too many people are in the hallways, I will keep eye contact though.I'll say hi when I'm walking through the hallway and see one other person or a couple others... During quieter times in the hallways at school. My goal will be to say hi to 5 new people a day (it only counts if I've never talked to them or I've only said a word or two) and if this is too easy I'll bump it up to 10 people. This can be anyone, boys and girls. I just need to get out of my shell! ----- make me less scared just being social with everyone, may help me make new friends with others by only saying hi because it would open up more opportunities to talk, help me to easier transition to being able to say hi to girls and then start talking to them more

So I think that those will be my improvements for now. I will probably work on most improvements for around a week (maybe less or more. It all depends on when I get it down) and then add new improvements for the next week or so. I'll keep updates here daily or as close to daily as a can, mostly for myself to look back and see how much I've improved. I'm excited for my new life!

And also, do you guts think my goals are good? Should I aim higher or have different ones? Feedback is always greatly appreciated (Especially in the social improvement section because that will be the hardest so any ideas or anything for goals for that would be great)

 

[amazingswayze]

none of those goals are too hard... just be consistent. i gotta tell you, breaking out of your shell will take more than just saying hi to new people. those are just baby steps. start small and tackle bigger goals progressively. you dont have to count calories if you arent trying to lose weight, either. i only drink water now. milk is fine i suppose but sugary drinks are pointless. enjoy HS while you still can!

 

[Aspiring Don Juan]

Just put yourself out there more. Go to events, join clubs, join sports teams and meet new people. Form connections, get invited to parties and get into a good social circle.

 

[Slaya123]

I've noticed that my social life is slowly getting better! I seem to be breaking the barrier more between me and the "in" group. I have always been friends with them (on talking terms), but I've never really been included too much or talked to unless I started a conversation. Lately however I've noticed they've all talked to me a lot more and I feel way more included which is good and I now actually feel apart of the group. I've only actually hung out with one kids from that group one on one outside of school and I haven't hung with him in a while so I think if I start suggesting that we hang out more every so often that could be the final push to getting me into this group for good. I also have been talking to a lot more guys in general, even one's I consider below me, and I now have lots of people saying hi to me throughout the hallways and there is always somebody I can interact with. I just feel better overall doing this. (It's gonna take a little to get out of a mindset of me being better than some people. Because I still sometimes view talking to less cool kids as a nuisance and I struggle with myself to do it. This is just plain wrong, because nobody is above anybody else...I need to break this mindset to fully be able to interact with these people)

For an update about the girls I have been able to say hi and strike up a conversation with ones that I barely talk to quite easily. I still have some hesitation and I have backed out a couple times but I've made leaps and bounds in this area. I have started talking to two of the hottest chicks in the grade and I finally have the confidence to say hi to them even when I'm quite a ways behind them walking through the hallway, I would've worried about getting a bad reaction a while back. I said "hi" to one in the hallway when I was quite a ways behind her and she stopped, turned around, smiled, and walked back towards me to walk with me to class. I was proud of myself at that moment.

I still can't strike up a conversation with a girl that I never talk to unless I have an excuse to do it. It really bugs me because even if I could say hi to her, I wouldn't know what to talk about after that. I really just need to start talking to girls even without an excuse, because if I have to wait for an excuse every time to talk to a new girl that I am attracted to, I'm not in total control of my dating life and that really pisses me off. So I just have to figure out what to talk about. And I have to get over this mindset that they'll think it's creepy if I do that and that they'll spread the word that I'm creepy. It's not weird for someone to talk to you in a social environment like school. I wouldn't care if a chick I barely talk to came up and talked to me, so I'm sure that other girls wouldn't care either.

LET'S GO! I GOT THIS!

 

[Slaya123]

OK so I just have a really quick question here. There are so many things to read on this site, and it can get overwhelming. Anyways if you could recommend one thing to read that'd be great. Should I read the DJ Bible, the Book of Pook, or weapons of mass seduction...or if there is another better book to read what would you recommend?

. After reading one of those I will probably read the 48 laws of power because I've seen great recommendations on that and then I'll just start reading books on any subject that interest me in my free time whether it's self-improvement, education, or fiction. I just want to live life and not read how to live life for hours a day. So out of the three listed above I will probably only read one, because I feel like it is basically the same information. But if one is more highly recommended or gives better advice to newbies (like specifically what actions you an take to work your way up or the like) than it would be really helpful if I could get some recommendations.

I just get overwhelmed with all this stuff and I lose motivation to read so any help would be greatly appreciated!

P.S. I need to start updating this journal more often. I have made some decent improvements but I just haven't had the time to post

 

[Slaya123]

I'm going to start making weekly updates with goals I plan to achieve each week and then at the end post my progress on each of the goals. I'll also try and keep these brief and to the point, because all my other posts have been really long-winded.

Goals for February 2/15 2016 - February 2/22 2016

• Start saying hi to everyone in the hallways that I see unless it's in between classes when literally everybody is in the hallway and no one will know if I am talking to them. I want to get to a point where I can talk to anyone.
• Along with the previous goal, start talking to any girls I see (especially the ones in my grade) I want to get to a point where I can talk with any girl I want in my grade because it's easy to talk to younger chicks but I don't see myself as worthy to talk to attractive chicks in my grade or older unless they talk to me first. So I need to break this mindset
• Start slowly incorporating kino into my conversations
• Try to not talk about anything boring with anyone and try to turn any conversation into an interesting one. I want to be just a generally fun guy that everyone wants to be around.
• Just start creating more friendships with new people and start getting on talking terms with many different girls so I have lots of options.
• Eat healthy in general (small amounts of junk food every few days is fine) and start working out
• I want to take the challenge this week that is in Weapons of Mass Seduction to not spend free time browsing the internet (reading the DJ bible or checking on my goals on here doesn't count. But I can't just waste time looking at random articles on sosuave) or watching TV, video games, etc. I want to be more productive

So this should be a good amount of goals for one week. If it is too few or too much, I'll adjust accordingly next week. And if I don't complete some goals, those will be pushed to the next week until I complete them.

This should be a good foundation to help me in improving my game. I just need to remember to do these since I hadn't actually done any goals in the past. So no excuses this time. I need to stop procrastinating and just remember if I get too nervous I just need to man up and not be afraid to go after what I want!

P.S. - I got these goal ideas from WMS which I am reading. I am going through each step or article in WMS one week at a time for now, I may need to adjust the length of time I give myself depending on how comfortable I feel with it at the end of that week. I like WMS because it gives concrete things you can do to improve in each area...but I am also reading the DJ bible along with it using the bible reading plan.

 

[Slaya123]

Idk why I can't seem to stick with doing things. I've been thinking this entire time that I've actually been improving, but I recently realized that I haven't done ****! I've looked back in this journal and every time I post a bunch of new goals and I'm all fired up to do them, and then I just never take action. Over and over that has happened and I get nowhere. I guess I'm just afraid to accept the fact that the only way I'll get to experience everything I want to, is if I fail along the way. I'm terrified of failure.

I want to talk to all the hot girls or more specifically, have them talk to me. I want to be someone that everyone wants to hang around. I want to be the best basketball player on the team. I just want to feel completely free to do whatever I want without having to constantly worry about what others think of me. I'm tired of feeling like I'm chained down with what I can do.

But none of that can happen without failure! I just need to accept the fact that I'm gonna fail, and do it anyways. I need to think about the benefits I will receive. Who cares if I think that girl I never talk to will think I'm creepy if I say hi, she'll eventually realize how much fun I am to be around when I get to know her! I need to stop using these fears as excuses.

I found in another thread some mention of chains.cc which is a website to help you make and break habits. It seems like it would really help me because I wouldn't be able to push my goals to the back of my mind and forget about them on purpose. You can also see your progress so that would add to my motivation as I go along.

I know that this sounds just like every other post I've written but I know that this will be the turning point where I finally start taking action...it has to be! I originally was going to type an entire thread up just ranting about a bunch of crap about girls always talking to other guys and people liking other people better than me but then I deleted it and realized that I can't complain until I actually go out and try to fix it. So that's exactly what I'm going to do, instead of complaining about things, I'm going to finally start on the road to fix those damn problems in my life and get everything that I want.