My online game sucks

[Socialreject]

Hey, i could do with some pointers on this one, i can't figure it out by myself. I figured i'd have a stab at the online dating thing since i've been playing the real world field for a while. So i made a profile, sent out some messages to get the wheels turning etc, but nothing, nada, zip...

My profile is basically just random bull. For ex. at hobby's i just filled in making a snowman. etc. I dropped in some hint that i like challenges, am very active and i'm there to meet a couple people to have some "fun". The rest of my profile basically has "i don't give a hoot" written all over it. To be honest it matches my personality fairly well although it reveals very little about me.

Like i said i sent some messages around to get things going but it didn't really work out... lol. Most of the messages i sent out were c&f style. I found something in their profile i found funny and made a ****y joke about it. To this i got 0 responses. Then i figured i'd try just asking them a question about something in their profile... 0 responses. I was getting a bit fed up with it so i found this profile that had "i'm a hideous b!tch" written all over it and basically busted the crap out of her in a pretty mean way. I got a response that was totally casual and something like "oh yeah this profile helps to keep the suckers away".

To be honest i wasn't interested in her so i didn't send anything else. But i figured to stick with what works so i went around and busted some ass. Most of the messages i got were the angry type. Now tbh i can't blame em for that cause i was being pretty rude, but hey it worked before so i thought i'd keep it up! Though of course, the other profiles didn't necessarily have "b!tch" written on them.

Then i tried sending some bust/c&f. I found a profile of a HB7 something, complaining about her ex and sent something like "yeah, men, they are all the same! So found any fun people here yet?". She replied something like "no they all seem to follow the typical trend of *******s and wusses, how about you?". So i shot one back "Well maybe maybe... but i've only been here a couple days, but still, that HB7 seems alright but i'm not sure yet". And that's all she wrote...

Now tbh i don't really care too much for the online stuff, but it seems i'm blowing out all the time and i want to know why.

So all in all pretty big disaster... help?

 

[amoka]

Try to add couple of pictures on to your profile. Get a digital camera, or borrow one from a friend, and snup good pictures of yourself and post them on the profile. This increases your opportunity of meeting hot ladies. Also, it helps to state that you're capable of cooking. Women nowadays like to company of men with the ability to prepare meals. If you know how to cook, I suggest you mention it on your profile as well.

 

[DJ_Traveler]

Socialreject,

I can relate with you about this online dating. After reading Men's Health back in January I gave online a go as I have never tried, and I was really slammed working on my thesis for my Master's degree.

You definitely have to take the initiative online or else nothing happens. I've meet three girls from online, but after meeting them in person it just wasn't clicking. I've now been online for four months, and I have mixed feelings about it. It seems that girls really get bombarded with emails from other guys, so you have a fierce competition that is mostly based on looks and writing skills. The biggest downside of online to me is that you have to wait to see them in the real world to see if there is any chance things are going to click where as offline you can a get a much better feel.

Like you, I have tried a variety of approach from C & F to just being friendly. Few have responded.... I’ve also spent a fair amount of time working on my pictures and profile.

In any case, I'm currently doing bootcamp training at the moment, and to me it feels more exciting to push yourself to get outside your comfort zone.

If anyone has some experience to answer these questions please do:

1. Should you Wink and then email a day later if she has checked your profile? Or Should you just email?

2. What's a good first email? I like to comment on their hobbies and relate it to what I do when possible.

3. Is it really necessary to ask for a phone when you can setup the first meeting all through email?

The traveler....

 

[machiaveli]

Have never done online dating, but to me it seems as if your're too much ****y.. try to mix more fun in your game. OR try negging her, and later qualifying her.. but don't give up so fast, she is just testing you to see if you're just another guy.

Be different and unique, and don't use too much ****y/funny..

Chick can smell if you have a hidden agenda, even on the net.. so try to be just casual to her.. and act if you're not interested only chatting a little.

 

[Jackman]

You have to give them solid reality, while throwing in one thing that flourishes imagination (not too much) and one burning question that needs to be answered.

I recently placed an ad that highlighted all of my bad, man-typical qualities rather than trying to paint a pretty picture of myself, or even worse, try too hard to look like I didn't give a damn and wasn't trying too hard.

I had received tons of responses from women with this one ad and I got a lot of feedback as to why they responded.

I started the ad with a mental image that got their imaginations going while making stern, realistic points with it. Example:

"You're not going to find me tossing 200 bails of hay in the country in my faded blue jeans, shirtless and sweating with sexual appeal, only to find me on your front door that evening wearing an Armani suit for a metropolitan date of dinner and theatre. I pretty much stick to the blue jeans. That's the kind of guy I am."

A lot of the women that responded told me it was because of this line. I was basically trying to establish two facts with it: 1)No expensive dinners, and 2) I'm not the "Look at me. I'm diverse. I can be whatever you want" monkey. In response, they said it was sexy without trying too hard. Even after I told them straight up that I'm not the six-pack ab hunk they are imagining, they didn't care. They just loved to day-dream and it got them going.

From there I basically went straight into my typical bad habits and man-typical demeanor. I said in my ad that I smoke cigars and chew tobacco. I told them I swear on occasion. I told them I like guy movies and tools. And I even went so far as to mention that I can sometimes be typically "man-stupid" and have recently used a fire extinguisher because of it.

All of the replies were the same. They were all dying to know what I needed the fire extinguisher for. It was the "burning question" left out there as bait and I got them hook, line and sinker.

My first response came three minutes and steadily after placing my ad with two decent pictures, including an offer for no strings attatched sex (which I ignored). Most of these women did not have personal ads of their own. Ages ranged from early 20's to late 40's. Most were attractive, well educated and well to do. Most responses included pictures, even though I never specifically asked. I even received a lot of "fan mail" from women wishing me luck on getting other women.

Give it a try.

 

[Socialreject]

@ amoka, pictures are present already. I don't even bother with profiles that don't have one, so i figured it would be good to have some ;-). They aren't the best possible pictures (i'm usually the ones with the camera lol), but they are good. I was thinking about getting a pro photo shoot done sometime this summer when my tan comes through, but i'm not sure yet as i may just drop the online stuff all together. Cooking? Hmmm, i am a pretty good cook and i like cooking, but i'm not sure i should mention that.

@ machiaveli: Hidden agenda? Like what? The intention to take her out on a date, have fun and take it as far as it'l float? If so, i DO have an agenda, but it's not exactly hidden! Like i said, i'm there to find a couple people to have some fun with, and well... it's true. So what do you suggest?

@ Jack: Nice one. So you just give em a dose of reality and then print some mental images with your profile/add... hmmm. I'll give it a whirl. The thing is, i am kind of like you in that aspect, i like cigars, i like guy movies and tools etc, so it might suit me well. I'm not sure how to lay down the solid reality part though, because i do go from worn blue jeans to suits and everything in between. I was raised in a blue collar family so i like performing labor (yard construction cars etc), but because of my business i switch to suit just as well and because of various sports i practice i switch to sporty outfits just the same.

But i'm not a billionaire, i'm not brad pitt or a genius so there is plenty stuff i can use for reality dose. But i don't want to come off as insecure. Your angle is very good because it shows you are confident with your blue jeans and don't feel the need to be 'jack of all trades' just to stand out. Maybe i can just use some of my male typical bad habits for a reality check. I'll have to give it some thought, thx for the pointers!

Btw, traveler. I wouldn't arrange a date without a phone # because it's very likely to get flaked on if you don't build any rapport over the phone. Internet, email etc are fairly impersonal compared to real life interactions so it's better to get her to atleast hear your sexy voice ;-)

 

[Jackman]

I'm not sure how to lay down the solid reality part though, because i do go from worn blue jeans to suits and everything in between.

So do I, but I personally think it's redundant. It is perfectly normal for people to have different tasks and events in thier lives that require wearing different things, so I just try to maximize one thing for appeal instead. Besides, a woman's imagination is fairly wild anyway. You plant a few seeds and they do the rest if they are truly attracted to you. If you look good in a suit, she'll see that when you're wearing your blue jeans, and she will be even more impressed (and become very sexual) if you just show up at some time down the road wearing one and looking extra damn good without warning.

 

[logicallefty]

I have been doing online dating for 2 years.. I've actually met and dated ~35 women at least once, ~20 more than once, chatted with probably ~100.

My profile has stuff in it that makes me sound like the rudest, ****iest SOB this side of the Mississippi. But it also has a couple of nice and sweet things that, alone would kill me, but the ****y stuff fuels the sweet stuff, see? And wa-la, it spells WELL ROUNDED and they eat it for lunch. And I even live in an area where there are far more single guys than girls..

It took me a while to tweak my profile up to what it is today. When I started online dating, it was all sweet and nice.. BUZZZZZZ, I didnt get nada. But keep some sweet stuff in there, ad some total ****yness, mix them in a bowl and you get woman soup, quite literally... ;-) Good luck...

 

[Socialreject]

Good points Jackman... I'm definitely going to try a similar profile.

@ Logical: So basically you're telling me to have most of the profile ooze testosterone and then finish it off with a few 'nice guy' traits to convey that i'm on top of my testosterone when i need to be? I'm going to have to mull over how exactly to convey that in a 'profile'... I understand what you mean though and it's definitely a good way to go, and i have thought about it, but the problem is how to convey that in a text form, billboard style. Cause in the real world i don't really go to a woman and start telling her stuff about me ;-)

 

[Friendly Otter]

All good stuff, people. Jackman, very intelligent, I can tell you know something about marketing.

To all your thoughts I would add humor: you can fake a lot of things in a text, but you can't fake humor. Either you manage to write something funny or you don't, right? To be funny is a sign of intelligence, and warmth.

You could add something funny when you write what you are looking for in a woman; try something that you obviously won't find, then say that "but I'll settle for..." and write something more down to earth.

Another tip is to tell them you are looking for some qualities that you know many girls like to think they have, like a sense for poetry, beautiful hair, someone who is good with animals, or cooking skills. Write that you just love a woman who can cook, you'll do whatever she asks in return for your favorite meal. It gives a girl something to brag about, and be feminine about, when she tells you "Oh by the way, I'm a great cook!" Most girls know they aren't master chefs, but they also know they are probably better than you.

 

[Marlimus]

My online game sucks too. Only thing is, I don't need it.

 

[Friendly Otter]

My online game sucks too. Only thing is, I don't need it.

Omg omg, that's, like, the coolest sneer ever! But it should have "you losers...." at the end, that would have been even cooler!

As opposed to internet dating, using a DJ internet forum is of course perfectly all right, and not at all uncool.

 

[Jackman]

To all your thoughts I would add humor: you can fake a lot of things in a text, but you can't fake humor. Either you manage to write something funny or you don't, right? To be funny is a sign of intelligence, and warmth.

You are exactly right, Otter. Great point.

Originally Posted by Marlimus
My online game sucks too. Only thing is, I don't need it.

Nor do I. Make no assumptions. In fact, I do not actually meet these online women, especially those who offer up their bodies to random men on the internet. I drop all communications even with hotties for what seems to them as absolutely no reason at all. Although I have no intent on meeting online women, I have no issues with helping someone that would.

My belief is that women online, or anyone for that matter, will react more true to first impressions than they would in real life. It's the anonymity of the internet that allows for real, gut reactions to be observed. When I say, "Cigar" and get positive results from attractive women online, I take it into the real world by being seen with a lit or un-lit cigar. The real world results have confirmed the online reaction. Women have actually responded with an initiative to speak to me by incorporating this little "prop". I, of course, asked for the number in the end, but it was the woman, in my particular case, that did the initial approach.

It is experiments such as these that save me from a trial and error process in the field that need not be as brutal as it can be. Just because I have the ability to shrug off rejection does not mean I don't make intelligent efforts to find ways to avoid it. The difference is that I apply it to my game, rather than making it my game. I try to find ways to lure rather than simply attack.

I do not believe, or at least do not have the impression, that any of the other guys that posted on this thread depend on internet women as their sole source of ass. I think we would all agree that would be a very sad state of affairs.

 

[Boschy]

Online game is the same as approaching women in person: what you think wouldn't work in a million years does, and your first instincts are totally ineffective. Women are aliens amongst us. You can't relate to them as you do with other blokes.

This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of his instincts and becomes successful. I know it's just a TV show, but there's some truth there!

 

[Socialreject]

Omg, i seem to have hit a tough crowd out there

I tried a couple of different profiles now. I tried something similar to what you posted Jackman, and also one that was very harsh and macho. Heck i even tried posting a bleeding heart wuzz profile (whadda ya know, it got 3 responses!).

Also tried to post the ****y profile (that had a "fvck off" undertone) with no pictures and it got a modest reaction to that one. I revealed pictures after they responded or contacted me. Weird as hell, profile with pics got nothing, profile without got about 4 reactions (1 of them initiated), and no i'm not ugly . Far from it...

Sofar it's 3 dates (twice same girl) and about 7-8 reactions in total. The dates with the one girl weren't bad, she was about a 7 and was 'fun' and chatty... though a bit "loud", she did a lot of kino on me and i kissed her some time during date 2.. so not all that bad really, might take her out again. The other date was both creepy and boring. I can honestly say that it was one of THE most boring dates ever (that's what i get for letting her pick the place i guess?). Fortunitly there was a better place not to far form it where i chatted up some petite girl i met there... to later find out she was 17 >_<. So she wasn't petite, just very young...lol.

Ok so all in all it was kind of a lot of time spent for little results... Not sure what the problem is. I've been chatting to some guys who looked cool on that site and they have about the same experiences with it, so might be a 'dud' tbh. I think i'm going to call it a day with the online stuff for now. Was just an experiment anyways and i feel i put a bit tomuch time in it already. So unless anyone has anymore suggestions/ideas or something they wanna try, i'm going to leave the online stuff to other guys for now ;-).

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Guys, search the forum for sarging online, there's already tons of threads out there that will answer most of your questions.

 

[Socialreject]

Guys, search the forum for sarging online, there's already tons of threads out there that will answer most of your questions.

Right you are...

I'm going to browse through the forum a bit on online sarging, though i have to admit i'm really adverse to putting anymore time in this. What keeps me going right now is a will to "figure it out" (i get stubborn like that ;-) ). Anyways, keep you posted on what i find out, if anything