Even though I know I've lost my chances with my oneitis; this is because it's the same old story, (copied from ddeangelo's last e-mail):
Once upon a time, there was a man who was very
attracted to a particular woman.
At first, she was just another attractive
woman... but the more he got to know her, the more
he began to feel attracted to her... and the more
time he spent with her, the more that attraction
grew into a deep emotional attachment and
affection for her.
But, there was one problem.
As his emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.
Why?
Because he couldn't tell whether or not she
felt the same way towards him.
Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are
so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in
my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the
"friendship" stage.
There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss
on the cheek from her... and once, she even held
his hand for a long time while he talked about an
emotional issue.
But, something was wrong with the picture.
She just wasn't acting like a woman that was
"falling in love". She was acting like a friend.
The insecurity that he felt became a spiral
that amplified itself... and the more insecure he
became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing
things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his
girlfriend.
Plus, the more insecure he became, the less
time she seemed to want to spend with him.
After spending many days and nights obsessing
over this girl, the man finally arrived at the
conclusion that, if she only knew how HE FELT, she
would feel the same way.
So, he made a bold move.
He TOLD HER how he felt.
He confessed that he was in love and that he
would do anything to be with her.
She looked at him with compassion in her eyes
and said, "Thank you... I really mean that... but
I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're
too important to me...."
This only confused the man more.
He didn't know how to take it...
Did it mean that she really loved him too, but
that she was afraid of something?
Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long
term relationship?
Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that
she was trying to give him a hint?
Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?
Did it mean that he needed to put everything on
the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?
He finally decided that he couldn't go on like
this anymore... he had to be with her.
He had to make sure that she knew just how much
he wanted to be with her... so, he took a big step
- He bought her a symbolic gift and wrote her a
long, long letter... again confessing his
feelings.
And then, the unthinkable happened.
She didn't reply.
He called her three times a day for almost a
week before reaching her.
She made an excuse about being very busy and
said, "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to
go"... and hung up...
but... he never got a call back.
Over the following months the man tried
desperately to understand what went wrong... and
what happened.
THE END
Well anyway, my story is pretty similar but it's also a little different; we are still good friends, and when I say keeps surprising me - she often flirts with me, calls me, etc.
Also, when she rejected me, she had a genuine excuse, she had a boyfriend at the time. Before you guys tell me it's obvious why she rejected me then, I would like to make it clear that when I told her my feelings she was flirting a lot with me, so it's self explanitory. Moreover, this was in person, it did not involve any phones. Also there was never any talk about 'our friendship' at an stage of us knowing each other.
Now what really has me lost is what she just did. Her birthday was coming up, and we were just casualy talking, and I asked if there was anything she wanted (I know this is not correct according to the rules, but then if the rules were correct we would not know one another right now, this is why I see it as a guide rather than 'rules') Her reply, and though the first part was foreseable, the second part was not "You don't need to get me anything, but you can take me for lunch, that can be my birthday present". Now may be reading too deep into this, but I see this as her asking me for a date. I played it as cool as anyone could in terms of a oneitis for 5 years, I told her that I am busy at the begining of the week, but would love to later on in the week. So she replies "Great, call me when you want some lunch"...
Comments people? Good approach or bad? Is she making a fool of me or is it genuine?
Once upon a time, there was a man who was very
attracted to a particular woman.
At first, she was just another attractive
woman... but the more he got to know her, the more
he began to feel attracted to her... and the more
time he spent with her, the more that attraction
grew into a deep emotional attachment and
affection for her.
But, there was one problem.
As his emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.
Why?
Because he couldn't tell whether or not she
felt the same way towards him.
Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are
so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in
my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the
"friendship" stage.
There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss
on the cheek from her... and once, she even held
his hand for a long time while he talked about an
emotional issue.
But, something was wrong with the picture.
She just wasn't acting like a woman that was
"falling in love". She was acting like a friend.
The insecurity that he felt became a spiral
that amplified itself... and the more insecure he
became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing
things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his
girlfriend.
Plus, the more insecure he became, the less
time she seemed to want to spend with him.
After spending many days and nights obsessing
over this girl, the man finally arrived at the
conclusion that, if she only knew how HE FELT, she
would feel the same way.
So, he made a bold move.
He TOLD HER how he felt.
He confessed that he was in love and that he
would do anything to be with her.
She looked at him with compassion in her eyes
and said, "Thank you... I really mean that... but
I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're
too important to me...."
This only confused the man more.
He didn't know how to take it...
Did it mean that she really loved him too, but
that she was afraid of something?
Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long
term relationship?
Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that
she was trying to give him a hint?
Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?
Did it mean that he needed to put everything on
the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?
He finally decided that he couldn't go on like
this anymore... he had to be with her.
He had to make sure that she knew just how much
he wanted to be with her... so, he took a big step
- He bought her a symbolic gift and wrote her a
long, long letter... again confessing his
feelings.
And then, the unthinkable happened.
She didn't reply.
He called her three times a day for almost a
week before reaching her.
She made an excuse about being very busy and
said, "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to
go"... and hung up...
but... he never got a call back.
Over the following months the man tried
desperately to understand what went wrong... and
what happened.
THE END
Well anyway, my story is pretty similar but it's also a little different; we are still good friends, and when I say keeps surprising me - she often flirts with me, calls me, etc.
Also, when she rejected me, she had a genuine excuse, she had a boyfriend at the time. Before you guys tell me it's obvious why she rejected me then, I would like to make it clear that when I told her my feelings she was flirting a lot with me, so it's self explanitory. Moreover, this was in person, it did not involve any phones. Also there was never any talk about 'our friendship' at an stage of us knowing each other.
Now what really has me lost is what she just did. Her birthday was coming up, and we were just casualy talking, and I asked if there was anything she wanted (I know this is not correct according to the rules, but then if the rules were correct we would not know one another right now, this is why I see it as a guide rather than 'rules') Her reply, and though the first part was foreseable, the second part was not "You don't need to get me anything, but you can take me for lunch, that can be my birthday present". Now may be reading too deep into this, but I see this as her asking me for a date. I played it as cool as anyone could in terms of a oneitis for 5 years, I told her that I am busy at the begining of the week, but would love to later on in the week. So she replies "Great, call me when you want some lunch"...
Comments people? Good approach or bad? Is she making a fool of me or is it genuine?
At least you'll end up with a good friend.