My older cousin

[Dr.Suave]

This thread made me think about my cousin:

The dark side of being a playa'

Now that you are intrigued by the title, let's talk about something you most likely won't like to hear. Consider this: you live your life as the cool guy you are. And somewhere you meet a cute girl. You dig' her and wouldn't mind to add "1 to your belt". She isn't full of red flags, and in...

www.sosuave.net

I have a female older cousin. She spent her prime years in a relationship with a guy who would be heir to a succesfull business.

Im assuming that after years of banging her, he grew bored of her and he broke up with her. My cousin was devastated. She "tried" to kill herself with pill overdose and went to the hospital. The guy never visited her or anything.

Sometime went by and she met a new guy. New guy gives her "gf" label/exclusivity just to get in her pants but he never intended to marry her (he confessed this like 20 years later). He wanted to do the same thing as the old guy: Bang her a few years until he got bored of her and then use whatever excuse to break up.

But my cousin had "wisen up" from last time. She baby-trapped him. They got married and had a couple more kids. When the older kids wre in thier teenage years they guy grew tired of the whole thing, he just wanted to leave and they got a divorce.

Not sure what is the point of this thread but maybe someone finds something of value here. Catch you later

 

[New_Journey]

The value I find here is, be more pragmatic like women are. Women baby trap men, manipulate them, do $hit to get what they want.

The first guy fvcked her when she was young and pretty, then left her, just because. Who is to blame here? Women monkey branch when they no longer wanna be the guy.

Men should do the same without remorse or shame, good girls will suffer? Yes, they will be collateral damaged, but that's the nature of the beast. You either adapt or get stomped on.

I got stomped on, but I'm working damn hard to put myself in a position where that doesn't happen again.

So men, have a side chick, have a plan b, leave your woman if you don't like her no more, be more pragmatic like women are because you know.... Equality.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Not trying to discredit your post, but what I learned from my stats class is that both events could be either mutually inclusive or not. Meaning, yes, the first guy’s behavior could have influenced your cousin to adopt a more calculated strategy to keep the second guy around. But at the same time, other factors could have contributed to her decision - such as age, societal expectations, fear of being alone, peer pressure, survival instinct, etc.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Apologies in advance my friend but I'm gonna call it like I see it here.....

The key thing I observe in your post is that your cousin "tried to commit suicide....."

Nope. That was a last ditch nuclear option attention grabbing attempt. If she really wanted to kill herself she'd have succeeded. Notice the detail that the business heir didn't come to the hospital. Of course not! He had escaped a crazy woman....patient in hospital, exhibit A. He was thinking THANK GOD I got away without marrying her!

So when the hystrionics and nutty behavior didn't lasso the heir (who she probably lost to a just as beautiful and more sane woman) she adjusted strategy and saw the writing on the wall that the next guy wasn't going to tolerate her cuckooness forever either so "Oops. Look honey, we are pregant!" and the poor guy did the right thing in society's book.

Except your cousin was still nuts. And they didn't really love each other enough to have gotten married independent of the pregnancy. So it fizzeled out and they got tired of pretending after they tolerated each other as long as they could.

Terrible marriage example for their kids, by the way.

The question I'd be curious about is how your cousin's dating prospects look these days? Is she dating, how's that going, is she being a mom & dog mom? Is she bitter? Does she care? Sometimes people grow and learn. Sometimes they get bitter and angry.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I got stomped on, but I'm working damn hard to put myself in a position where that doesn't happen again.

^^A bit of a thread derail (apologies @Dr.Suave) but just wanted to say to @New_Journey I'm truly sorry man, if it's the chick you previously posted about uploading your trip to Puerto Rico, I was really hoping you two would ultimately work out!

You took a lot of heat for that relationship, not sure why but in any event try to not lose that "good guy" side to you. One bad seed does not mean the entire crop is bad!

Whatever happened, HER loss as far as I'm concerned.

Back to topic...

 

[Dr.Suave]

The key thing I observe in your post is that your cousin "tried to commit suicide....."

Nope. That was a last ditch nuclear option attention grabbing attempt. If she really wanted to kill herself she'd have succeeded.

Oh I agree 100%. Thats what I meant when I put The "" in "tried". My apologies I wasnt more clear. I also agree with everything else you said.

As to your last paragraph. She brought guy number three to a wedding, introduced him as a "friend" (I think she feels too old to say "boyfriend" or just doesnt care about labels at this point). She doesnt seem bitter. I didnt pay attention to the guy but I asume he Is good looking.

 

[New_Journey]

^^A bit of a thread derail (apologies @Dr.Suave) but just wanted to say to @New_Journey I'm truly sorry man, if it's the chick you previously posted about uploading your trip to Puerto Rico, I was really hoping you two would ultimately work out!

You took a lot of heat for that relationship, not sure why but in any event try to not lose that "good guy" side to you. One bad seed does not mean the entire crop is bad!

Whatever happened, HER loss as far as I'm concerned.

Back to topic...

There is no need to be sorry baby

 

[jhonny9546]

after years

How many years was her first LTR?

She "tried" to kill herself

This is not a healhty emotional response, she may be a borderline. I'm not a specialist but this is one of the most obvious sign.

She baby-trapped him.

another clear sign, fear of abandonment

When the older kids wre in thier teenage years they guy grew tired of the whole thing

He may wanted to do it early

Thanks for sharing! It look parallel to what's happening with a friend LTR.
Everything look the same, except the guy is the same.

Sometimes people grow and learn.

You analysis is clear.
Well, this woman might be a borderline. Should tell us more about her @Dr.Suave
In this case, "Sometimes people grow and learn" is not something that will happen with her.

 

[sevbucmash]

Your cousin is perfect. All her boyfriends are evil.

Nah man. The reason your cousin having problems is because she is not perfect, perhaps even has red flags. I mean, suicide attempts, baby trapping. Horrible. Woman like that shoud be avoided. That first guy dodged a bullet.

However, it always takes two to tango. Combine a woman with red flags and a guy who comes with mentality of poon deficit, and you got yourself a disaster.

 

[Dr.Suave]

@sevbucmash I dont think she's perfect, far from It. If anything I felt bad for the guy who got baby-trapped and the kids

 

[Gamisch]

Everyone talks about OP'S cousin, but the topic is tbe dark side of being a "player".

One of the culprits is that sooner or later you'll run into such a woman. The higher your volume, the more that chance increases.

It's also about having morals imo. I personally don't like to see a woman cry her eyes out saying she feels bamboozled spitting facts about how I'm such a immoral s.o.a.b who just wanted to get a quick nut...

And that'd the lite version...I had one woman saying I stole something from her ,threatening me she would call the cops( during a period when I could ABSOLUTELY not use anything like that in my life!). I had another woman making drama in a public setting embarrassing the F out of me.

All in the name of revenge. The dark side of being a player

Edit : my excuses, I thought this thread was called the dark side of being a player.

Kinda overlaps so I leave this post up.

 

[jhonny9546]

One of the culprits is that sooner or later you'll run into such a woman. The higher your volume, the more that chance increases.

Not necessarly. You can be togheter since college.
But start realizing later what a red flag is.
Later = after kids or marriage, etc