My most recent gf just dumped me...any advice?

[Cremasta]

I was once in the same situation as you. I was 30, had a very hot gf who was 8 years younger than me. We broke up basically because I didn't ask her to marry me quick enough for her liking.

Of course I was upset, but after getting some good info from this site, I went out and upgraded in a big way. Found myself a hot girl, same age as me, my entire family and friends love her, earns a decent income and great in the sack.
The ex was so jealous when she found out that even her mum called me to see if there was some way we could work things out! :crackup:

Forget the young girls if you want something serious. They are just a different generation to you and after a while they just seem stupid.

There are probably ways you can salvage this, but it would involve compromising your principles and you would be better off upgrading like I did.

 

[p0ppabear]

DJ Phyzzle hit it on the money. I'm pretty sure that's what it is.

We've been together for a year, btw.

Any idea, if NC is the best way to get her to call me, or if it's giving her reason value, if I contact her?

Not sure if I want to pursue things with her or not, but I definitely want to have at least one last talk with her. Just get everything off my chest, and be straight up.

**update**

I'm flying out for the Holidays, and she text me while I was sleeping. She told me, ""hey you haven't been online (I blocked her on AIM), just want to wish you good luck with your family and everything else before you fly out. Be safe & stay warm." 20 minutes later, she text again with a, "I know you're concerned. Good night honey."

Is she trying to reach out to me, and get a response, because I've been doing NC? Should I reply, and do something?

***another update***
She just text me to meet her. So, I guess all this taunting & NC is working. Tips and suggestions???

 

[JDA70]

Did you read my post and
ask her "Why do I have to tell you
I love you for us to be together?"

 

[Obsidian]

I disagree with Lastman; her statement about not getting married until age 30 was probably true. It merely proves that she's a h0r who wants to sex lots of guys now and then settle down right when she starts to go downhill. She wanted you to tell her that you loved her, but it's foolish ever to love a hor. You could lie and tell her you love her anyway, I guess, but ultimately you would be putting your heart at risk to stay with this lady.

You're better off without her. She had significantly different values and goals from yours. You say that she "dumped" you, which is in some sense true, but it's only because you weren't man enough to dump her first (even though a break-up was obviously the right thing to do). Rest easy.

Yes, it's perfectly obvious that you could get this chick back right now if you wanted -- based on her reasoning for breaking up and her texts to you. All you have to do is wait another few days and then call her up and meet up again, and take it from there... (BUT DON'T DO THIS!)

 

[p0ppabear]

No, she's not a h0r. She has only had sex, with her bf's, and that hasn't been too many. I'm her 4th.

Oh, I haven't asked her, "why do I have to say, 'I love you', for us to be together." I think it's clear why, she wants to hear this. Reassurance.

 

[Obsidian]

she's not a h0r. She has only had sex, with her bf's

oh, my mistake... :crackup:

The virgin is true to her original nature, of course! The wh0re is out of character and out of place!

If you really think this girl is someone you should fall for (It sounds like you already have!), then why didn't you tell her that you loved her? if you want to be in a relationship with this chick then call her up, for goodness' sake. No one is stopping you. I can almost guarantee that she will take you back once you offer her the ego boost you were denying her previously.

No telling how long it'll last, but I'd estimate probably a few months at least

 

[Last Man Standing]

***another update***
She just text me to meet her. So, I guess all this taunting & NC is working. Tips and suggestions???

You are acting like an AFC - didn't she just dump you???? Now you are acting as if you want her back after she just disrespected you by throwing you under the bus!!!! Have some dignity man!!!

 

[chance]

she probably really does love you but even if she said she doesn't wanna marry till 30. no one can ever know that answer. maybe she would marry you in less than a year if you put in effort to loving her too. things change all the time. when someone says something it almost never happens the same way they want.

 

[Cremasta]

Oh, I haven't asked her, "why do I have to say, 'I love you', for us to be together." I think it's clear why, she wants to hear this. Reassurance.

So what's the problem then? It's not going to change how you feel about her. It IS going to change how she feels about you.

Tell her what she wants to hear, then get back to screwing her guts out... and looking for another girl to replace her, if you still feel the need.

 

[ducaro]

p0PPabear, eat yer porridge before it gets cold!

 

[PectoralisMajor]

She's played you good mate - improve your skills and better yourself..

Oh, and stop living a lie and blocking her on that AIM by pretending you have a life and your offline - I used to do stuff like that to the odd girl when I was 16/17 - its imature man.

 

[p0ppabear]

Dj remotecontrol has given the best advice I've heard so far.

So, today I met up with her, gave her the speech, and we're slowly rebuilding what was lost, through lack of better communication. I seriously didn't understand her question of, "what do I mean to you?". She expected me to reply with, "I love you", but I had no freaking clue.

I'm sure most guys know, and the reason for this site, is that you have to be a magician, and psychic to make a girl happy.

Everyone has put in great responses, and given quite great info about everything.

To put things into perspective, I'm going to slowly rebuild what was lost, and try to make things work out. Lots of closure was covered today, and I told her how much she meant to me. She's not into games, and just wanted reassurance the whole time. I lost hind sight of things, and withdrew myself emotionally, when she jokingly stated, that she didn't want to get married anytime soon. This led me to treat her, in a way, where I made her feel unimportant to me. That always leads to a bad situation. We all know, women always need reassurance.

As far as rebuilding what was lost, I'm just thinking of taking it slow, and trying to ease my way in. Slowly, but surely. She's obviously given me an open door, to patch up things, and take it from there.

This girl is smart, virtuous, hot as hell, hard-working, comes from a good family, and very doting. The only bad thing I can think of, is that she's younger, and not as experienced with life. We've all been there, and that's understandable.

If anyone has any suggestions, as to what NOT to do, please inform my ass.

You guys are really great. Nice to know that Brothers, like you, exist out there!!!