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My Most Important Rule for Any A.F.C - Dealing with Rejection

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No player in the history of baseball has ever batted 100 % in his career.
Likewise, no player in the history of the game has ever picked up 100% of the women he's tried to get with, every single one of us has had to deal with the dreaded two letter word "No".
I believe this MUST be the most important factor for any guy starting out at the art of pickup, the ability to accept the word "No" and move on is what seperates us from being the run-of-the-mill guy who stays home 7 nights a week to play Nintendo from the absolute ladies man who has dates sometimes as much as 4 or 5 nights a week (with different women I must add) with girls we'd all love to be able to talk to, let alone ask out.

Personally, I cannot even come close to the number of times I have been rejected by women, but in all honesty, I do not care. What helps me with this attitude is the following rules that all guys new to the scene of pickup should follo to number one, help them feel better when they get rejected and number two, develop their game for the next women they meet.

#1.) Realize that there are about 3.5 billion women on the earth - So what if one girl rejects you, yes some of her friends are going o indirectly reject you but so what? Still there are plenty of girls lefts..Only a few billion. So as long as you don't take it too hard and shun women for the remainder of your life, you'll probably have another chance.

#2.) Learn from it - Every good player learns from his mistakes. Maybe you approached the girl from a wrong angle and startled her slightly, maybe you talked to much about yourself and not her, maybe you just didn't flirt with her enough or build enough comfort before making a move or the worst, maybe you were not being a man and begging for her attention and asking her to like you so she rejected you. Whatever it may be, it's up to you to figure out what your problem is and fix it, to better yourself for next time so you don't make the same mistake again. So many A.F.Cs go years using the same old approach and get rejected most everytime and never does it occur to them that maybe, just maybe, their lines aren't quite enough to spark a woman's interest.

#3.) Move on - This tighs in with the first point, no matter if you dated the girl for 5 years and she cheated on you, or you got shot down point blank one night at a bar, you must realize that its not the end of the road and just because you got rejected, doesn't mean that you wont ever be able to get a girl.

#4.) Avoid getting mad at the girl for rejecting you - Getting mad at the girl gets you NOWHERE, not only are you upset with yourself for not being good enough but you're also mad at her for it. You're energy (and sanity) is much better spent focussing on improving yourself rather than having a negative attitude towards the girl that rejected you.

#5.) Become friends with the girl - This one may be a stretch for some guys, but in my playbook it's a must. I don't mean every single girl you approach by the way, but the ones that are friendly enough and you have some commonalities with, it would definitely be a wise option to pursue friendship if she is open to it. About six months ago I started dating this drop-dead gorgeous girl, we got along well, both liked the same T.V shows and music, partied with the same people and both loved going to the gym. Well you know what, my game wasn't quite on with this girl and ultimately she rejected me and opted for the "let's just be friends" root. Ultimately I am really happy this happened, not only did I make an awesome friend out of it, but I also learned some of the flaws in my game that I had made (and then worked to improve on). Now if I had been bitter about this, we'd no longer be talking, I would probably hate her and I would still have that area of my game weak. I am happy I took the high road in this situation that's for sure.

I think guys, if you think about these five points and act on them next time you get rejected, you're doing yourself a huge favor in terms of improving your game and that's what everybody on this site is after right?

- Universitycharmer
 

pdx1138

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good post.

Years ago I learned at this very forum that it's good to get rejected. It will happen and the more you do, the less it matters until eventually it doesn't phase you in the slightest.
 

rocket87

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Can you elaborate on the friends thing? didn't make too much sense to me. i have enough friends as it is to occupy my time and enhance the quality of my life, why include someone in my life who isn't willing to compromise to a mutual friendship/companionship? (friends w/ benefits, "trying" out a relationship, etc...?)

I could only see this being clear and making sense if you have low standards (the girl must not be hot enough for you to constantly be thinking about sex w/ her.) Otherwise, she'd just be a huge distraction. At least that's what happens for me..
 

Mr.Positive

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pdx1138 said:
Years ago I learned at this very forum that it's good to get rejected. It will happen and the more you do, the less it matters until eventually it doesn't phase you in the slightest.
You want to grow to the point, where when rejected...you truly know and believe, it's her loss. Her loss, is another gal's gain.
 

Alex DeLarge

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rocket87 said:
Can you elaborate on the friends thing? didn't make too much sense to me. i have enough friends as it is to occupy my time and enhance the quality of my life, why include someone in my life who isn't willing to compromise to a mutual friendship/companionship? (friends w/ benefits, "trying" out a relationship, etc...?)

I could only see this being clear and making sense if you have low standards (the girl must not be hot enough for you to constantly be thinking about sex w/ her.) Otherwise, she'd just be a huge distraction. At least that's what happens for me..
You can never have enough friends. I have friends who are girls that are definitely hot enough to bang. I just don't do it for some reason though. We flirt back and forth all the time, but I'm not attracted to them sexually.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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Mr.Positive said:
You want to grow to the point, where when rejected...you truly know and believe, it's her loss. Her loss, is another gal's gain.
This kind of talk is bull****. Just because a man gets the balls to approach random girls he thinks he is such a prize. Its his loss the girl rejected him. She doesn't even give a second thought about some random stranger that stopped her on the street, let alone think of him as "her loss". She has more than enough choices.
The original poster is correct that you have to learn from the rejections. "Her loss" attitude won't help.
 
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Alex DeLarge said:
You can never have enough friends. I have friends who are girls that are definitely hot enough to bang. I just don't do it for some reason though. We flirt back and forth all the time, but I'm not attracted to them sexually.
Took the words right out of my mouth Alex !
Rocket, I find not only do you get pratice flirting but the more friends you have, the higher your value is, drawing more women to you.
 

cola

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Just wanted to point out, yes its 3.5 billion girls .. But about 3.3 billion of them are irrelevant unless you plan on leaving the continent.. just wanted to point that out.
 
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