Zippapants
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2012
- Messages
- 45
- Reaction score
- 1
Hey guys! Longtime lurker, and I have to say, this site has helped me SO much. I came here back in 2012 when my then-girlfriend left me and is was my close friends and these forums that aided me not only in getting over her, but also becoming a better man. I have a few things to say about a recent break-up that I’d like some input on and some questions I’d like to ask the DJ’s of this site! This might be a big of a read, but I haven't really put this out there yet, so I'm typing this up for myself as much as advice. Scroll to the bottom for the TL;DR version. ;-)
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Ok, where to start! Let me try to break down my latest dilemma. For some quick background on me: At 22 I was living a very unhealthy life and decided to turn my life around. I lost over 200 lbs., went back to college, and had life by the balls. Now, I’m 26, currently finishing up my last year for my Bachelor’s, then going right for my Master’s.
THE GIRLFRIEND
In February, I entered a relationship with a 19 year old. I can already hear a few of you groaning, “Damn Zippa, that’s too young!” I know! And I agreed once. She was one of those young college students entering at 17 and is a junior now. For several months she had pursued me, and eventually I said fuggit. I have no regrets, as the past 4 months with her had been some of the best and most rewarding…when things were going good. Of course, I wouldn’t be here if things were going good, now would I?
She seriously made me feel amazing. She didn’t do the usual BS and she was just a breath of fresh air. Imagine feeling like you finally met a girl who proved the others wrong. I loved her with all my heart, and she loved me with all of hers. When things occurred, I put my foot down and let her knew I would walk if things didn’t change. As much as I loved her, I loved myself more. To her, I was unlike any other guy she knew, and she respected me. When there was a problem, we’d talk about it, solve it, and moved on stronger. Mostly.
THE RELATIONSHIP
One annoying thing is that these problems would come up fairly frequently, but never the same one twice. When it was put to bed, it was done and didn’t happened again. She wanted me to be happy, and usually the issue was miscommunication. We’d handle it and solve it. Still, the fact that she wouldn’t have consideration beforehand and that I always had to bring things up annoyed me. She did get better in this regard. Except for one thing:
She wanted her freedom. She was torn between wanting her freedom and independence and wanting to be with me, the guy she could see herself possibly one day marrying. She had suggested an open relationship, like she had had with her previous boyfriend, where we have each other’s hearts, but could see other people. I said HELLLLLLLLLL NO. I’d walk, you’re either with me or not, no middle ground. When we were at school and seeing each other all the time, it was fine. As summer approached, however, things began to take a turn.
The thought of the distance that would be between during the summer grew into something she couldn’t get over. This feeling of freedom crept back into her mind. Not only that, but outside of school, we lived an hour apart. Not too bad, but she showed some concern. She began to get more distant, and we began to argue more as I tried to talk to her and set her straight. She started living two lives: one where she would see me once or twice a week, and the other where she would do her own thing up where she lived, like going to friend’s parties and not inviting me or doing things I wasn’t too happy about. I tried to solve stuff like we used to, but she got more and more confused. I knew a break up was inevitable.
Things took a bit of different turn for a time when I approached her about things. She changed her tune and we began to solve stuff like we used to. She told me how she couldn’t do life without me and that I was her heart. The next day, she broke up with me (oh the irony!).
She told me I didn’t deserve what she was putting me through, and that she needed to find herself and that we weren’t compatible right now, yet she still wanted for me to be in her life because I was so important to her. She stated the possibility of us getting back together when school started, and if we did so she would make sure her mind was sorted out and we would be together for real. I told her I can’t be in a relationship without trust, and I could now never trust her to leave me when there was distance between us again (like winter break or when I graduate next summer). I haven’t talked to her since then (Friday morning), nor do I plan to.
THE FINAL PROBLEM
The relationship is over, it was a good ride while it lasted, and I have no delusions of getting back together, but it feels almost like a piece of me is missing, and I don’t understand why. I haven’t felt like this before. I know it get easier with time, but I miss her way too much. The smallest things from her had me walking around with the biggest grin, which has never happened for me with a girl before. My head tells me this break up is right, but for some reason deep inside it feels plain wrong. No contact is the way to go, and I’ve deleted her number, deleted out pictures, and blocked her on Facebook.
Here’s where things get tricky: before I went radio silence, we had talked about exchanging belongings. I tried to do it as soon as possible, but she said she needed time before seeing me again. Now I really want my things back, but I also don’t think it’s wise to contact her with how I’m currently feeling. However, a big problem is that for the next year, I’m going to be around her almost every day for several hours in intimate settings due to our shared curriculum. She’s going to need her stuff before school starts in September, but I’d like to allow the longest amount of time with no contact before I have to see her almost every day.
Should I break no contact now to get my stuff back and allow a few months’ worth of time in between seeing her again? Or should I just keep no contact now and risk seeing her again in about a month’s time?
~~~~~~~~~~
TL;DR Version
-Loved this girl like no other, you know the story
-Bunch of BS led to her breaking it off
-Feels wrong and like a piece of me is missing, but I know my princess is in another castle and no contact is the key
-Going to see her almost every day during and after school for the next year
-We have each other’s stuff and need to exchange
-Do I break no contact now with how I feel and allow to the timer to reset so I have maximum time, or do I continue with no contact and see her before school starts again?
BONUS QUESTION
Have any of you guys ever had a woman who left such a mark on you that while you knew breaking up was the only real option, it just plain didn’t feel right, even long after the fact despite your logic telling you that it was? Talked to a close friend of mine and he still feels a similar way years later despite rolling the the pvssy, and I was wondering if any of you guys had a similar story or feeling. What happened and how did you cope with it?
~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, where to start! Let me try to break down my latest dilemma. For some quick background on me: At 22 I was living a very unhealthy life and decided to turn my life around. I lost over 200 lbs., went back to college, and had life by the balls. Now, I’m 26, currently finishing up my last year for my Bachelor’s, then going right for my Master’s.
THE GIRLFRIEND
In February, I entered a relationship with a 19 year old. I can already hear a few of you groaning, “Damn Zippa, that’s too young!” I know! And I agreed once. She was one of those young college students entering at 17 and is a junior now. For several months she had pursued me, and eventually I said fuggit. I have no regrets, as the past 4 months with her had been some of the best and most rewarding…when things were going good. Of course, I wouldn’t be here if things were going good, now would I?
She seriously made me feel amazing. She didn’t do the usual BS and she was just a breath of fresh air. Imagine feeling like you finally met a girl who proved the others wrong. I loved her with all my heart, and she loved me with all of hers. When things occurred, I put my foot down and let her knew I would walk if things didn’t change. As much as I loved her, I loved myself more. To her, I was unlike any other guy she knew, and she respected me. When there was a problem, we’d talk about it, solve it, and moved on stronger. Mostly.
THE RELATIONSHIP
One annoying thing is that these problems would come up fairly frequently, but never the same one twice. When it was put to bed, it was done and didn’t happened again. She wanted me to be happy, and usually the issue was miscommunication. We’d handle it and solve it. Still, the fact that she wouldn’t have consideration beforehand and that I always had to bring things up annoyed me. She did get better in this regard. Except for one thing:
She wanted her freedom. She was torn between wanting her freedom and independence and wanting to be with me, the guy she could see herself possibly one day marrying. She had suggested an open relationship, like she had had with her previous boyfriend, where we have each other’s hearts, but could see other people. I said HELLLLLLLLLL NO. I’d walk, you’re either with me or not, no middle ground. When we were at school and seeing each other all the time, it was fine. As summer approached, however, things began to take a turn.
The thought of the distance that would be between during the summer grew into something she couldn’t get over. This feeling of freedom crept back into her mind. Not only that, but outside of school, we lived an hour apart. Not too bad, but she showed some concern. She began to get more distant, and we began to argue more as I tried to talk to her and set her straight. She started living two lives: one where she would see me once or twice a week, and the other where she would do her own thing up where she lived, like going to friend’s parties and not inviting me or doing things I wasn’t too happy about. I tried to solve stuff like we used to, but she got more and more confused. I knew a break up was inevitable.
Things took a bit of different turn for a time when I approached her about things. She changed her tune and we began to solve stuff like we used to. She told me how she couldn’t do life without me and that I was her heart. The next day, she broke up with me (oh the irony!).
She told me I didn’t deserve what she was putting me through, and that she needed to find herself and that we weren’t compatible right now, yet she still wanted for me to be in her life because I was so important to her. She stated the possibility of us getting back together when school started, and if we did so she would make sure her mind was sorted out and we would be together for real. I told her I can’t be in a relationship without trust, and I could now never trust her to leave me when there was distance between us again (like winter break or when I graduate next summer). I haven’t talked to her since then (Friday morning), nor do I plan to.
THE FINAL PROBLEM
The relationship is over, it was a good ride while it lasted, and I have no delusions of getting back together, but it feels almost like a piece of me is missing, and I don’t understand why. I haven’t felt like this before. I know it get easier with time, but I miss her way too much. The smallest things from her had me walking around with the biggest grin, which has never happened for me with a girl before. My head tells me this break up is right, but for some reason deep inside it feels plain wrong. No contact is the way to go, and I’ve deleted her number, deleted out pictures, and blocked her on Facebook.
Here’s where things get tricky: before I went radio silence, we had talked about exchanging belongings. I tried to do it as soon as possible, but she said she needed time before seeing me again. Now I really want my things back, but I also don’t think it’s wise to contact her with how I’m currently feeling. However, a big problem is that for the next year, I’m going to be around her almost every day for several hours in intimate settings due to our shared curriculum. She’s going to need her stuff before school starts in September, but I’d like to allow the longest amount of time with no contact before I have to see her almost every day.
Should I break no contact now to get my stuff back and allow a few months’ worth of time in between seeing her again? Or should I just keep no contact now and risk seeing her again in about a month’s time?
~~~~~~~~~~
TL;DR Version
-Loved this girl like no other, you know the story
-Bunch of BS led to her breaking it off
-Feels wrong and like a piece of me is missing, but I know my princess is in another castle and no contact is the key
-Going to see her almost every day during and after school for the next year
-We have each other’s stuff and need to exchange
-Do I break no contact now with how I feel and allow to the timer to reset so I have maximum time, or do I continue with no contact and see her before school starts again?
BONUS QUESTION
Have any of you guys ever had a woman who left such a mark on you that while you knew breaking up was the only real option, it just plain didn’t feel right, even long after the fact despite your logic telling you that it was? Talked to a close friend of mine and he still feels a similar way years later despite rolling the the pvssy, and I was wondering if any of you guys had a similar story or feeling. What happened and how did you cope with it?