My mental issues and inability to read women are driving me INSANE

[harrison9876]

Hey guys...

So I am finding myself STILL not being able to pull myself out if whatever BS rut I am in.

Since ending an LTR a year ago...I find myself:

1) wanting to be around women...but feeling like I couldn't to bothered

2) totally cool being single...but at times lonley as fvck

3) constantly working (by choice)...but then pi$$ed off because I don't make time to get out and meet people.

4) really only attracted to younger women...but feeling like I would come off as a pedophile by even asking a younger girl out (I am talking 10-15 year age difference)

In addition to the above...

All my success with women in the past had been where it was obvious they had an interest...but...after this 10 year relationship ended...I find either NO woman I meet is interested...or I just simply cannot read women IL for shyte anymore.

In school for example... There is this one girl I really like. Though we joke around with each other and seem to have a really cool connection... I don't sense annnnnnnything from her apart from that.

Maybe it is an age thing...or maybe I am just not trying hard enough... IDK. I also hesitate asking her out because we are in a very small class... So in addition to my mental issues noted above...don't want to cause any wierd vibes if there is a big rejection in my future. The "never pi$$ in your own sandbox" rule.

Has anyone else been in this really fvcked up zone...cuz I'm slowly driving myself mentally insane.

 

[Desdinova]

1) wanting to be around women...but feeling like I couldn't to bothered

Being social can help lighten that feeling. You will be around women, but you don't really need to date any of them. When you surround yourself with people, you won't need to put much effort into attracting a woman. One rule I keep in mind is to be flirty with EVERY woman. It desensitizes you from putting effort into landing just one woman, and it will become part of your natural personality. My GF says I have a "flirty" personality. Little does she know that I worked hard to get that.

2) totally cool being single...but at times lonley as fvck

Get a couple of female friend for the hell of it. It helps relieve the loneliness a bit.

3) constantly working (by choice)...but then pi$$ed off because I don't make time to get out and meet people.

There was a point where I had two jobs, and it was hard to squeeze in time to socialize. I made the effort to do it in my off hours, and was able to do quite a bit of dating regardless of my crazy schedule. You just need to put the effort in.

4) really only attracted to younger women...but feeling like I would come off as a pedophile by even asking a younger girl out (I am talking 10-15 year age difference)

If you don't make a big deal out of the age difference, neither will she. If she's enjoying her time with you, then you are not a creepy pedophile. As long as she's legal, you're good to go.

All my success with women in the past had been where it was obvious they had an interest...but...after this 10 year relationship ended...I find either NO woman I meet is interested...or I just simply cannot read women IL for shyte anymore.

I find it's not about reading women. I find it's about them enjoying their time with you. If you amplify the positive parts of your personality (confidence, sense of humour, etc), then attracting women will be easy and they'll make it obvious that they're interested in you.

I also hesitate asking her out because we are in a very small class

Have you been flirty with her? Have you put some sexual innuendo in your flirting? If you're answering no to both of those, then all you're doing is putting yourself in the friend zone. You NEED to work on your flirting skills if you're going to stir up interest in ANY woman, regardless of her age.

 

[Die Hard]

In school for example... There is this one girl I really like. Though we joke around with each other and seem to have a really cool connection... I don't sense annnnnnnything from her apart from that.

Maybe it is an age thing...or maybe I am just not trying hard enough... IDK. I also hesitate asking her out because we are in a very small class... So in addition to my mental issues noted above...don't want to cause any wierd vibes if there is a big rejection in my future. The "never pi$$ in your own sandbox" rule.

You have to force her to show whether she's interested or not. You do that by being sexual towards her. For example, ask her if she's working out. If she says yes, you let your eyes slowly glance over her body parts and say "hmm yeah, I can tell..." with a smirk on your face.

That type of behavior makes it pretty clear to her that you're sexually interested in her. Most of the time, a woman will give a clear response to that, either dismissive or accepting.

Don't be concerned about "rejection". You're just joking around and if she doesn't like it, you just act like it's no big deal. All fun and games.... Then you just don't do it again and show through your behavior that you respect her "rejection" and she doesn't have to be afraid of you pushing further. If she senses that she's safe from further attempts, she'll keep acting normal to you and nothing's the matter, there will be no awkwardness between you and her in the future.

But the key is forcing her to show what she thinks about you by being sexual with her (always wrap it in a joke). You'll have your answer very fast.

 

[Fruitbat]

In school?

 

[harrison9876]

Film/Drama School...only 1 day a week, though.

 

[harrison9876]

Hey guys...

Soooooooooooooooo...I increased the flirting a bit. She is a smoking hot Asian Gymnast...so I ended up throwing a neg hit or two in there....but I "think" they come off a bit bad (like I was being a bit mean, maybe).

Most of our interactions all already tend to be very playful/teasing/joking already...but I think that is just her overall personality (not anything to do with me). She is actually really funny, playful and sarcastic just in general...which is why I find it hard to gauge.

 

[harrison9876]

Hey samspade...

I hear ya man...

Part of my issue is that the 10 year relationship dragged me waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down. Very happy to be out of it, but quite honestly now that it is over, apart from the gym, and 1 day a week in class, I have very limited social interaction (quite the opposite from the me from 10-15 years ago). So yes the "waiting around for 6 days" is a bit of an issue. I am like Yoda - an singular hermit growing old on some foreign planet, with no one around. I actually feel a bit isolated and friend-less...which is in-turn...is causing "some" feelings of desperation.

My best experiences where I could really get my game ON...was when I had a lot more continuous interactions with women...not the singular "one day a week" deal.

I do have this girls number. Not because she gave it to me...but because as a class, we all exchanged numbers 2 months ago. Though I would like to call her...calling her I think would be a bit "weird"...as apart from the fun interaction in class..nothing feels "established"...if that makes sense?

There is a dance studio in my area...maybe I should hit that up. My current gym has NO interesting women there...and an LA Fitness just opened up near me...so I may switch it up to change scenery.

 

[harrison9876]

You have to force her to show whether she's interested or not. You do that by being sexual towards her. For example, ask her if she's working out. If she says yes, you let your eyes slowly glance over her body parts and say "hmm yeah, I can tell..." with a smirk on your face.

That type of behavior makes it pretty clear to her that you're sexually interested in her. Most of the time, a woman will give a clear response to that, either dismissive or accepting.

Don't be concerned about "rejection". You're just joking around and if she doesn't like it, you just act like it's no big deal. All fun and games.... Then you just don't do it again and show through your behavior that you respect her "rejection" and she doesn't have to be afraid of you pushing further. If she senses that she's safe from further attempts, she'll keep acting normal to you and nothing's the matter, there will be no awkwardness between you and her in the future.

But the key is forcing her to show what she thinks about you by being sexual with her (always wrap it in a joke). You'll have your answer very fast.

Last night was "okay"... Some kino from my end...nothing crazy. But I did comment on her body. "So...you still training?"

"No...not really..."

Making a point to look at her up and down...not in a creepy way... "You serious? You look amazing..."

She gave me a shy smile, and a very quite, "thanks..."

It did nooooooot go over the way I wanted it to...I think it came across as a friendly compliment, as opposed to "sexual interest".

Throughout the night's the playfulness, she bought up how she did not think I was not there on her first day of class back in December.. Trying to convince her I was, I added in a jokingly playful way... "oh, come on...you remember...it was that day you were totally undressing me with your eyes". Her response..."ummm...yeah...sure...preeeeeetttty sure I would remembered that, as the 2 shots of Tequila I had earlier have worn off" (or something along those lines). basically a sarcastic, "yeah, right...in your dreams"...

So...not "exactly" a productive day by any means.

 

[sosousage]

fix issues > find women


some men try to cure themselves with sex, nah


you need to feel the inner pain till you fix yourself on your own


after that youre free to date women

 

[harrison9876]

Completely agree...

Haha...though she has never mentioned it (always talks about her roommate)...found out today that it turns out gymnast has a BF...so time to walk away on that one anyway.