Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Recently I was in the bookstore looking at a recording industry magazine, when I ran into Paul Shaeffer from the Letterman show. Both his beard and his head were unshaven, but I could tell by the quality of his casual clothing that it was him. He nodded at me and up the chimney he rose. Oh wait, sorry, I'm mixing up my stories...
He nodded and I said, "Are you Paul, or do you just look like Paul?", and he said "Yes, I'm Paul S. Who are you?"
I'm not one to gush over stars since I'm in a segment of show biz and occasionally meet some, so I said, "Oh, just a guy who likes your work" and went back to reading my magazine. I decided to "play" with him and see how he would react to my being completely unaffected by him. I think he was astonished by this because all he ever sees is people gushing over him. He said, "No, wait a minute, who ARE you?", and again I was very nonchalant with him. "Just a musician who likes your stuff". He said, "No, who are you, what's your name?"
Notice what can be learned here. Here's a guy with mega millions in the bank, a steady gig on Letterman, and who knows personally every musician who ever lived. Yet he was intrigued by yours truly specifically because I was unaffected by his aura. Do you see how this relates to dealing with beautiful women? An exceptional person becomes intrigued by the One who is unaffected by him/her.
I told him my name and we ended up chatting for 2 hours straight. He truly is a remarkable guy, very humble and quiet in how he carries himself. He showed genuine interest in my career and my personal life, and opened right up to me specifically because I hit the sweet spot of non-chalance with him due to my detached demeanor. He told me all sorts of secrets about the show that he made me swear not to mention.
As we were talking many women and a few men stuck their heads in the aisle and peered at us as if we were animals being observed at the zoo. It was funny how obviously awestruck they were.
He and I chatted on and on, and I literally couldn't get out of there because a couple of times I said I had to get going and he would say, "Yeah, music is great, isn't it?" and that meant another half-hour of chatting. Both of us immensely enjoyed the interaction.
We had talked about faith (he is Jewish) at one point, and upon our parting I said, "Merry Christmas, oops" and he corrected me, "You mean Happy Hanukkah" and we had a good laugh.
I think this interaction goes to show how one can fairly easily rise above all others in the perception of a celebrity, or of a woman with exceptionally good looks. Day in and day out they are stared at, and spoken to in an contrived way, because 99% of those who speak to them are awestruck and self-conscious. When I say "them", I mean both celebrities and everyday beautiful women.
Go out there and check your own body language and vocal tone when you deal with a pretty girl. In her presence do you find the way you act changing, adjusting to her in any way? Even ever-so-slightly? If yes, then you have some work to do. You need to practice being entirely unaffected by externals. People submitting to them on a subtle level is as common to them as the air they breathe and they can sense it on a very subtle level. To distinguish yourself, be completely unaffected and treat them non-chalantly. This can cause them to be very powerfully drawn to you.
Along with that, you need to provide the energy of the interaction. Do not be reactive, but rather YOU need to provide the momentum, the energy and the frame. You decide when the conversation is over, not her.
Clearly, I made Paul work to get my attention. You could say that in his eyes I was the celebrity, because I was anti-celebrity. Read that twice and think about it.
He nodded and I said, "Are you Paul, or do you just look like Paul?", and he said "Yes, I'm Paul S. Who are you?"
I'm not one to gush over stars since I'm in a segment of show biz and occasionally meet some, so I said, "Oh, just a guy who likes your work" and went back to reading my magazine. I decided to "play" with him and see how he would react to my being completely unaffected by him. I think he was astonished by this because all he ever sees is people gushing over him. He said, "No, wait a minute, who ARE you?", and again I was very nonchalant with him. "Just a musician who likes your stuff". He said, "No, who are you, what's your name?"
Notice what can be learned here. Here's a guy with mega millions in the bank, a steady gig on Letterman, and who knows personally every musician who ever lived. Yet he was intrigued by yours truly specifically because I was unaffected by his aura. Do you see how this relates to dealing with beautiful women? An exceptional person becomes intrigued by the One who is unaffected by him/her.
I told him my name and we ended up chatting for 2 hours straight. He truly is a remarkable guy, very humble and quiet in how he carries himself. He showed genuine interest in my career and my personal life, and opened right up to me specifically because I hit the sweet spot of non-chalance with him due to my detached demeanor. He told me all sorts of secrets about the show that he made me swear not to mention.
As we were talking many women and a few men stuck their heads in the aisle and peered at us as if we were animals being observed at the zoo. It was funny how obviously awestruck they were.
He and I chatted on and on, and I literally couldn't get out of there because a couple of times I said I had to get going and he would say, "Yeah, music is great, isn't it?" and that meant another half-hour of chatting. Both of us immensely enjoyed the interaction.
We had talked about faith (he is Jewish) at one point, and upon our parting I said, "Merry Christmas, oops" and he corrected me, "You mean Happy Hanukkah" and we had a good laugh.
I think this interaction goes to show how one can fairly easily rise above all others in the perception of a celebrity, or of a woman with exceptionally good looks. Day in and day out they are stared at, and spoken to in an contrived way, because 99% of those who speak to them are awestruck and self-conscious. When I say "them", I mean both celebrities and everyday beautiful women.
Go out there and check your own body language and vocal tone when you deal with a pretty girl. In her presence do you find the way you act changing, adjusting to her in any way? Even ever-so-slightly? If yes, then you have some work to do. You need to practice being entirely unaffected by externals. People submitting to them on a subtle level is as common to them as the air they breathe and they can sense it on a very subtle level. To distinguish yourself, be completely unaffected and treat them non-chalantly. This can cause them to be very powerfully drawn to you.
Along with that, you need to provide the energy of the interaction. Do not be reactive, but rather YOU need to provide the momentum, the energy and the frame. You decide when the conversation is over, not her.
Clearly, I made Paul work to get my attention. You could say that in his eyes I was the celebrity, because I was anti-celebrity. Read that twice and think about it.
