My little sister is a lost cause :(

[backbreaker]

okay, so I'm sitting here in little rock, few days to christmas, get a call from my mom, who tells me my sister has a basketball game in north little rock later that day and my sister asked if i would come see her play. I'm like okay we aren't doing anything, i've never seen her play in an actual game,actually been a while since I have seen her play, some years, what the heck it would be fun.

now, to understand, i played ball my entire childhood, junior high, high school, aau, dad is the coach, basketball family kid. My family, the dad's side breathes basketball. The type of family where you have to listen to your coach and your uncle in the crowd dad, and both were right. Anyway, so I get there, and everyone was looking at my GF and son which is another story, had to remind myself I was in the south again, at a Catholic high school gym. Anyway that's beside the point.

So they start playing. She wasn't... BAD. she has talent. She isn't clumsy (she's 10) and can shoot. But, that in all honesty is about as far as I could go. Truth be told she lost the game for the team. she had 3 points, had at least 12 shots, only hit 1 and made a free throw, she's a gunner. at least 10 turnovers, whenever someone gets in her face and plays aggressive defensive she just picks up the ball and either throws it or shots it, tale tale sign of someone who isn't' comfortable with the basketball in their hands. but if you let her spot up, you can forget it.

That wasn't even what killed me though, that i can work with her on. Her dad isn't a sports guy, and my mom is my mom, they don't know better. basketball is more than going outside and shooting 3 pointers all day long. But what kills me is that she's, out of shape more than anything, she just plump, got out hustled down the floor by her man at least 5 times, usually for layups. one time the dude shot the ball, missed the entire goal, got his own rebound and still put it back in, sister was still lopping along downcourt. But even when she was down court, they were playing a 2-3 zone, and she just would sit in the middle of the paint, and let her man get position on her, and they would either give him the ball and he would get an easy layup, or she would get boxed out and he would get the rebound. They were down 1 point going in the 4th and her man scored 8 straight points, off simply her being out of position. she doesn't put her hands up on defense, she doesn't move her feet, doesn't box out, she doesn't get in front of anyone, she just basically wants to shoot.

So they lost by 3 points. Now, I'm not an *******. I'm not going to just plump tell her, she is the reason they lost (she was), although it was ovbious to anyone who played ball, she was the soft spot in the 2-3 zone, all you had to do was sneak a guy on the baseline under the rim and it was an easy layup everytime she wasn't paying the least bit of attention. But I told her simply after the game, clear your schedule tomorrow, I'm going to make some time to take you to the gym tomorrow and show you some thins you did wrong we need to work on your defense and your ball handling. That's it.

so, i get a call from my mom, 5 mintues later asking what I told her. I told her verbatium what I said. my sister is balling crying and my mom is now yelling at me "why did you tell her that" lol, I said because it's bette rI tel her as her borther, than one of her teammates (they had 1 dude on their team, that scored literarly, 30 of the 38 points, dude ot be 10 was off the freaking chain, but at least the rest of the team hustled and played defense) get pissed and tell her that they don't want to play with her anymore or that something along those lines. nothing different than what my dad used to do with me after every game he went to, from elementary to high school, lol, my dad pulled me out the freaking hall way going to the gym before the 3rd quarter one time, i had never seen a half court trap defense before and dad was telling me to running past half court and stop running to the sidelines becuase i had like 5 turnovers in the first half. And my dad could be, not nice lol, but you know what, by the time i was a sophomore, i was pretty damn good. and the feedback eventually became suggestions. i was good enough to make varsity, and play as a sophomore, and was probably the most fundamentally sound dude on the whole team, not the most talented, we had dudes that went and played college ball, but I wasn't going to turn the ball over, i played sound defense and i could hit an open shot. I knew how to play basketball. my sister, doesn't know how to play basketball she wants to shot.

her dad after the game was like "dont' worry about it, dont' listen to him, you played good" lol, no you didn't.

My fiancee agreed, I wasn't mean, I just didn't lie, and I offered to clear my schedule and take her to the gym (Something her dad or someone should have done a long time ago, instead of just going outside and shooting jumpers all day long). Oh and of course, she didn't take me up on it, she wants sit home and play her new wii game I bought her with her friends.

I don't understand kids today. Why would you want to play basketball but not want to learn how to be better? Do you really want to be told you played good when you played like crap? And don't you want to learn how to not play like crap? And it's not talent, she's not a bad player, she just hasn't been practicing on the right things. If you gave me 1 summer with her she'd be a totally new player. I mean she doesn't have to be an all star, I wasn't, but, It would be nice to know that you aren't the reason that your team lost.

It's better than what my dad did with me lol, one day I was in 8th grade, I had turned the ball over two times in the last 3 minutes of a game, honestly just nervous, my dad told "if i hear you shoot one ball outside for the next month, you dont' have to worry about playing anymore, you need to work on your ball handling, that's no excuse for being nervous dribbling a basketball" and he was right.


anyway sorry for the rant, i just see hwo this movie is going to end and I don't like it. lacking yet not wanting to improve and getting butthurt when people point out your flaws even when they try to help you with them (She's not skinny either, something I've tired to work with her on) is not a good sign.

 

[Slickster]

You lost me when you said she was 10.

Seriously? TEN freakin' years old and you are writing her off cuz she's not playing good basketball???

I love sports and played pretty much everything growing up. As important as I believe sports are to young people I really think that at 10 years old it's too early to be putting ANY pressure on a kid's performance.

At that age it should all be about fun.

 

[SharinganUser]

This is ****ed. Why are you putting this kind of pressure on a ten year old girl? When I read the title of this thread, I thought it might be about a teenage girl who has been knocked up or some such story, that's a lost cause. A 10yr old girl who can't play basketball well is not a lost cause.

Another thing you said is that she lost the game for her team. One guy scored 30 out of the teams 38 points. She scored 3 points. Doesn't that mean the other 10 players scored only had 5 points between them? It sounds to me like they played ****ty as a team and lost as a team.

 

[cordoncordon]

I gotta disagree with you BB. A ten year old girl? I'm as big a sports guy as there is, playing and watching, but in this case, just tell her to get out there and have fun. To try and teach her all the ins and outs of Bball at that age, especially a girl, is pointless. All she hears when you told her what you did was, "she sucks". And to call her a lost cause? Because she sucks at a sport?

Cmon man.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Obviously, girls take sports less seriously in general, but kid's sports have changed a lot since I was a kid. Nowadays it is all a self-esteem exercise where "everyone's a winner." I'm surprised they even let them keep score.

The last tee-ball baseball game I saw had more fathers on the field than kids; the fathers were much more interested in the game. I can see why, because they didn't let them keep score or even get an out. Every kid was "safe" at every base and got to run even if they couldn't hit the ball off the tee. Innings ended after every player got to bat. It was like the Special Olympics.

I was also recently at the pet store and some parents with a little kid told the clerk they wanted another Beta fish for their tiny tank, because they told their kid he could have another. The clerk told them that was dumb, because the two fish would fight and kill each other right away...and the couple had the nerve to argue with him, on the basis that they had told the kid he could have two Betas and did not want to hurt his feelings. As if the fish cared! They kept asking about every other fish with the Beta, and finally he sold them a frog just to get rid of them.

All of this represents the way that our concepts of childhood have changed. Kids today are largely coddled and spoiled. We shelter them from failure and loss, because we think the damage to their self-esteem would be too great. At the same time, the US is falling behind as a world power. As just one example, the majority of math and science post-graduate degrees awarded in the US go to non-Americans. We're too lazy for our own universities. Valuing self-esteem over achievement gets us nowhere.

 

[Igetit!]

I agree with the other posters as well.


We know you meant well and had her best interest at heart,but you went about trying to help her the wrong way. It wasn't losing the game or even the comments from the other players that got to her,it was when she FELT that her own brother whom she invited down to support her didn't even have her back.


Instead of focusing on what she did wrong,you should have given her a pat on the back for what she did right. Maybe she was the reason they lost the game,but she didn't need to hear that from you,or anybody else for that matter. Ten years old is too young to feel like you let EVERYBODY (including a family member) down.

Truth be told she lost the game for the team. she had 3 points, had at least 12 shots, only hit 1 and made a free throw, she's a gunner. at least 10 turnovers, whenever someone gets in her face and plays aggressive defensive she just picks up the ball and either throws it or shots it, tale tale sign of someone who isn't' comfortable with the basketball in their hands. but if you let her spot up, you can forget it.

That wasn't even what killed me though

Killed "you"? Come on man,you weren't even out on the court.

You didn't lose,she did. You seem more upset by the loss/her performance than she does. You said that whenever someone plays aggressive defense on her,she'll pick up the ball and either throw it or shoot it and that that's a sign of someone who's not comfortable with the ball in their hands. You're right,I agree.



So since you could tell that she was nervous/uncomfortable,she needed compassion and reassurance. I would have congradulated her on her doing THE BEST SHE COULD DO,and then I'd have been like,"Well hey,you know I'm going to be down here for a couple of days. Let's go to the gym one day and play a game or two. Yeah,you can show me some of those skills you got,and I can help you practice for your next game".



Then while out on the court playing,I would have exploited her weaknesses,and shown her how to correct them.

she doesn't put her hands up on defense, she doesn't move her feet, doesn't box out, she doesn't get in front of anyone, she just basically wants to shoot.

Yep,I would have exploited all of these areas 2 or 3 days AFTER THAT GAME,and shown her what to do better.


She didn't need to hear what all she did wrong or that she even did anything wrong RIGHT AFTER the game. She probably felt bad enough by the loss itself,not to mention her teammates bagging on her.

I don't understand kids today. Why would you want to play basketball but not want to learn how to be better? Do you really want to be told you played good when you played like crap?

I hear what you're saying,but BB.....she's 10. She's a child. She hasn't even reached puberty yet. Children just want to have fun,it's the adults who bring all the seriousness into the situation.


Let her hold onto her childhood as long as she can,because once that innocence is gone,it's gone brother.

And don't you want to learn how to not play like crap? And it's not talent, she's not a bad player, she just hasn't been practicing on the right things. If you gave me 1 summer with her she'd be a totally new player. I mean she doesn't have to be an all star, I wasn't, but, It would be nice to know that you aren't the reason that your team lost.

Well what does she want? We know you want to take her under your wing and make her a better player,but what is her desire?



You sure seem pretty fired up about her being a better player. And you said that that was the only game you've ever seen her play?

anyway sorry for the rant, i just see hwo this movie is going to end and I don't like it. lacking yet not wanting to improve and getting butthurt when people point out your flaws even when they try to help you with them (She's not skinny either, something I've tired to work with her on) is not a good sign.

Like I said before,I'm ALL FOR you helping her out,it was just the way you went about it that I disagreed with.

 

[Twitch]

No big deal here. She is just a 10 year old girl who doesn't really take basketball seriously. I think you did a nice thing though by trying to take your sister the gym to practice, even if you were pushy(which you were). "But I told her simply after the game, clear your schedule tomorrow, I'm going to make some time to take you to the gym tomorrow and show you some thins you did wrong we need(she needs, you aren't even on the team) to work on your defense and your ball handling."

Her parents are definitely making her soft. She fvcking cried from possible constructive criticism. If her dad doesn't know anything about basketball then how is he going to tell her that she played well?

The truth is that many can't handle the pain of self improvement or simply don't care.
Your sister didn't want the pain of acknowledging she plays poorly.
Her parents didn't want the pain of watching their child experience negative emotions.

She is not a lost cause though. She is only ten. I was a fat, weak, soft, emotional pvssy when I was ten.

Let her hold onto her childhood as long as she can,because once that innocence is gone,it's gone brother.

There is a time and a place when the training wheels should come off. Some people never let go of their childhood and that is probably worse than letting go too early.

 

[KingofHearts]

interesting thread to me since i have a bball background and now i work in youth sports -

youth sports is competitive, even at 10 years old. If you're not already taking it seriously, you're falling behind. But for a girl, you could probably start playing at a later age and still be decent at it. While bb didn't articulate this, I think the reason he was so frustrated with what he saw is because of his sister's lack of motivation. Hell, at any age, if I was the reason my team lost the game - I would go out there and work on it. I want to do my best at anything I'm doing. Pretty much always had that attitide.

So now that I work in youth sports, i see how kids would rather play nba 2k11 than go play real basketball. No work ethic, no passion, no desire to succeed. Youth sports can teach kids so many valuable life lessons, but "everyone is a winner" is as fiction as Santa Claus. So don't tell a kid he's good when he's not. Compliment him when he tries hard though. And then show him how to get better than the competition so he can build some real confidence.

My question to bb is why didn't the coach make an adjustment?

 

[HolyG]

Boys playing with girls? What league is that?

 

[BigJimbo]

Lesbianism!!! Butch!!! Ugh.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncw/news/story?id=3897663
There you go. Read and think. Keep laughing at Ukraine! At least girls want to be ballerinas in Ukraine. In America you encourage your girls to become the 4 Non Blondes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0l4TofljsU
Failed basketball players.

 

[backbreaker]

interesting thread to me since i have a bball background and now i work in youth sports -

youth sports is competitive, even at 10 years old. If you're not already taking it seriously, you're falling behind. But for a girl, you could probably start playing at a later age and still be decent at it. While bb didn't articulate this, I think the reason he was so frustrated with what he saw is because of his sister's lack of motivation. Hell, at any age, if I was the reason my team lost the game - I would go out there and work on it. I want to do my best at anything I'm doing. Pretty much always had that attitide.

So now that I work in youth sports, i see how kids would rather play nba 2k11 than go play real basketball. No work ethic, no passion, no desire to succeed. Youth sports can teach kids so many valuable life lessons, but "everyone is a winner" is as fiction as Santa Claus. So don't tell a kid he's good when he's not. Compliment him when he tries hard though. And then show him how to get better than the competition so he can build some real confidence.

My question to bb is why didn't the coach make an adjustment?

1. oh she takes it seriouslyi. she is in 2 different basketball leagues, she's a tom boy. plays softball, tennis, golf and basketball. golf is her best sport actually. has the 200 dollar gym bag, like 5 different pair of shoes, the whole kit and caboodle

2. you hit the nail on the head. it's not so much, that she sucks, which she doesn't.. i even said, i can work on her on the ball handling. that simply comes from not knowing what to practice when you are practicing beucase no one is there to show her.

what gets me, is the, not putting your hands up on defense, not sliding your feet, letting your man beat you down court, that's all, 100% lack of effort. she knows how to,, she just choses not to. her laziness lost the game for her team

3. i don't know what kinda 10 year olds you know but when I was 10 we were pretty freaking hard core about our sports, and she would not have made it out our lockerroom. you act like at 10, 10 year olds don't know how ot play ball, and don't nkwo when they have an extremely weak link. like the kid you stick in right field. he comes up with the bases loaded with 2 outs and you are down 1 and he swings on 3 pitches and misses them all you think the 10 year olds are going to be saying "you played great, good effort lol". kid would probably quit by the time we got done with him at the age of 10. in fact most 10 year olds are worst, than most teenagers / adults.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Obviously, girls take sports less seriously in general, but kid's sports have changed a lot since I was a kid. Nowadays it is all a self-esteem exercise where "everyone's a winner." I'm surprised they even let them keep score.

The last tee-ball baseball game I saw had more fathers on the field than kids; the fathers were much more interested in the game. I can see why, because they didn't let them keep score or even get an out. Every kid was "safe" at every base and got to run even if they couldn't hit the ball off the tee. Innings ended after every player got to bat. It was like the Special Olympics.

I was also recently at the pet store and some parents with a little kid told the clerk they wanted another Beta fish for their tiny tank, because they told their kid he could have another. The clerk told them that was dumb, because the two fish would fight and kill each other right away...and the couple had the nerve to argue with him, on the basis that they had told the kid he could have two Betas and did not want to hurt his feelings. As if the fish cared! They kept asking about every other fish with the Beta, and finally he sold them a frog just to get rid of them.

All of this represents the way that our concepts of childhood have changed. Kids today are largely coddled and spoiled. We shelter them from failure and loss, because we think the damage to their self-esteem would be too great. At the same time, the US is falling behind as a world power. As just one example, the majority of math and science post-graduate degrees awarded in the US go to non-Americans. We're too lazy for our own universities. Valuing self-esteem over achievement gets us nowhere.

Yep, it's this cancer of politically-correct liberal feminism that has perverted our society, and led our young people to hold so many completely fvcked up belief systems. Wealth and Achievement are villified, and it's cool to hate America, and it's all just a pile of excuses for being weak.

When we say, "Who the hell said the world was going to be fair?", we should answer, "Mommy, Daddy, the government, Barney, my teachers, hell everybody said the world was supposed to be fair."

I once saw an old mother give a mini-speech against breastfeeding. An old saying had been passed down through the women in her family, and it hit me like a Mack truck when she said it:

"Suckle the child, cuckold the man."

She went on to say, "I was taught that you raise a boy to make him hard, show him what the world is like. No free lunch...look at all these mothers coddling their children today, and look where we are."

Her son had grown up to become a self-made billionaire, no joke.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

As for BB's sister, she is not a lost cause.

She presents a profound opportunity for improvement.

We should learn to embrace all struggle, hardship, and inequity as an opportunity to advance.

 

[BigJimbo]

Uh, we have big tough American boys who make billions on penny stocks telling us that feminism has led to mothers being too soft on boys! What? In America your mothers are horrible. They kick you out. They make you get your own food. They make you wash your clothes. Those are signs of feminism! Traditional mothers baby their sons.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2006/feb/03/highereducation.uk
My God! In Italy mothers PAY their sons to stay at home. In America you poor boys must pay rent to your mother. How sad America is. And please don't tell me that Italy is feminized! This coming from a country where the leader is 74 years old and defends having affairs with 17 year old girls by saying that at least he isn't gay!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/02/ruby-berlusconi-sex-scand_1_n_777558.html
Yeah, really feminized. Compare that to the Republican leader - Sarah Palin and her family. Americans are the MOST feminized people on earth.

In conclusion...GIRLS DO NOT BELONG IN SPORTS! As they say in much of Europe, girls belong in the kitchen or the disco! I concur. And yes, you can say such thing in the better parts of Europe.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Jimbo, you are a useless sh!tbird. Why are you even here?

You are one of a growing movement of hater-ass punks who follow me around on this forum and have some nitpicking, snarky, outrageously exaggerated comment for everything I write.

And I am every bit the big badass you allude to, I was at Fallujah with the 1st Marines and I'd love to kick your wimpy eurotrash ass all the way back to bratislava or whatever hellhole you call home (in all likelihood, a basement in Philly). America is the biggest and baddest country in the world, and we aren't going to bail out your debt-ridden effeminate socialist governments.

Who would've thought, my own internet haters...your mom is so proud of me.

 

[sageproduct]

Hey BB, I can kinda relate to this topic because when I was 10, I trained 20 hours a week for my sport and traveled about twice a month for sectional and national competitions.

I pretty much hated my sport but played it due to some intrinsic need to obey my parents. It got to the point where I never even questioned why I did it, I just did. It seems kids have a natural inclination toward obedience.

She's definitely not a lost cause at 10. Now I don't know anything about parenting, but I was that age more recently than most of the guys here. I can just say that in general, there is very little coherence in actions and long-term commitments among youngsters, so that would explain being in 2 different basketball leagues yet wanting to play the new wii game instead. I think the only thing that she understood from anything was that her parents were giving her positive feedback while you were giving her some form of criticism.

I disagree with whoever said that sports are now just a vehicle for boosting self-esteem. In public school recreation, yes. However, competitive sports are becoming psychotic. Parents are training their kids to become great athletes from younger and younger ages, and I think it represents our "win-at-all-costs" mentality more than anything.

 

[EA Gold]

Too bad parents no longer pick who there son marries. Sad world we live in..