My life right now... =/

[Desidarko19]

Just gonna write about my life... never ever told this to anyone , feel free to respond but dont be too harsh.....

Im 19 years old, my parents are from india and i live in Norway...
Ive never been in love , never had a GF heck ive never even kissed a girl....

My life is so boring and sad that i sometime just want to kill myself, just to get it over with cuz it feels like my soul is dying , cuz i just keep getting burned over and over again, and whenever i have some hope that my life will change, that i can be happy, it ends up getting worse... im afraid if i keep on going like this i might someday end up as an empty shell and blow my brains out..

Its like ive been starving for years and suddenly once in a while a silverplatter full of food appears infront of my eyes 10 feet from my face, so i run for it but there is this rope around my neck and when i get close i get chocked hard... my life has been like that for over 6 years now.....

Its been happening for so long that ive almost lost all hope of being in any way happy or in love...
i dont have any real family i can talk to, they just want me to get a job and earn money, and i dont really have any real friends, ive got people i know who occasionally invite me to a party some times but they live in another city and the onlyt way to get there is by car wich i dont have and my father wont let me borrow the family car.... i have only one guy i can hang out with in my city but its like hes using me to get stuff from me, and almost 77 % of the city dont like people of my background and colour even though i was born and raised in this country.... I cant really make new friends because so many of the ones i thought were mine betrayed me when a group of wannabe nazis were after me.... that happened three years ago....

Ive had like this one chance to have a relationship with this girl i liked at my shcool in the other city, and she liked me, but its was like the world didnt want me to make my move, everytime i tried to make a move something came up and when i finnally did make my move it was too late and i ended up in the friend zone... Now i still have some leftover feeling for her but she got together with someone else and ive gotten my heart broken again...

its like life is tauinting me with hapiness and when i go for it it turns out to be more missery....

My dad keeps blaming every litle mishap on me while my brother scammed me for all my savings when he sold me a ****edup pc and then he moved to antoher country and i have to do twice as mmuch work as i had to before... And cuz i had to go to shcoll in another city i failed some classees cuz of my attendace and now ive got to retake a year and all my classmates are leaving to go theyr own way...

on my 18 birthday i ended up eating a bad meal by myself and going to sleep at 5 pm... cuz i had none to hang out with ...my family forgot that i was my birthday ...

i cant try too hookup on girls i dont know, cuz they think that all people of my background and colour are either in gangs or rapists, so if i want a girl i have to get to know her over a long period of time and that never happens...

Man im so tired of this , its like of all the choises ive made ive gotten one of the worst outcome from them...
And all i wanted was to have what seems to come so easily to other people....

 

[JH6]

make some friends on myspace, around here pretty much everybody is on it.

Its a good backup plan to meet girls, I use it once in a while, and have met some hotties, and some not-hot girls (ugh)

 

[jason86]

Indians are known for having gangs and being rapists?! Get out of here man!

Look things might seem quite hard to you but looking at it from a bigger picture, honestly your situation doesnt even look that bad. Read the bible and posts here and get some motivation to do things... like self-improvement, approaching girls, making new friends, etc.

As for your family not showing you any love. Fuk them! They aint showing no love, so get your own place or something and start getting your life on track. Good luck.

 

[solotak]

Hey mate, i'm in somewhat similair circumstances as you're in. With all the betraying and backstabbing from my circle of friends i'm looking out for new ones that are fun and alpha males. You don't need these friends, ditch them and find new ones. I'm still looking for a good circle to hang out with but it's hard to just find one and then get accepted. It will take time for you to find a good group but once you do you'll not regret ditching your old mates.

Also have you considered doing an exchange program in a different country? I beleive it would be much easier to go out somewhere new in a school environment and just talk to people anywhere. When they hear your not from around here people will be interested and thus giving you plentify things to talk about and befriending everyone.

 

[Gus]

Find a passion and go after it....passionately! Everything else will fall into place.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

DO like im doing-look for a dangerous high paying job in a war zone. IT will provide you money and adventure.

 

[Solomon79]

Hey man, I feel for you, I really do.

Growing up in an alien environment or culture, where you will never be fully appreciated, really sucks. I am against globalisation for that reason. I personally have suffered from it.

In my case I found that (and don't take this an offence) a return to your roots can be the best thing you ever do.

I gave up comparing myself to the alien 'Other' a long time ago. You are different, internally and externally, from the people around you, who you have presumably grown up with. You may never find a true sense of belonging with them.

Yes, I know Nordic women are gorgeous, but Indian women are beautiful too...I am against people giving up on their genetic heritage...Indians have accomplished a lot, so remember that...You should try to network with other Asians over there in Norway...and find a girl through friends...or to hell with it, go travelling around the world, live your young life free, go and travel around the subcontinent, forget about everything for a while...and eventually you will find somebody who is right...