My life is in shambles!!!! Please help

[iLoveCookies]

I am at a cross roads of sorts.

Please help me to get to the end of the maze that this girl is forcing me to run through.

Background:

- (2 Years ago) Went to Highschool, knew eachother but never really hung out
- (6 months ago) Lost all contact until she started working next door to me, we exchanged some words but she quit before we I got to make any sort of advance <i>(here is an example of you don’t succeed if you hesitate)</i>
- (3 months ago) Ran into her at starbucks, got her number & made plans to hang out.

Main Timeline:

We made plans to hang out after the run in at the coffee shop. Hung out couple days later, lunch at a sushi place, went to the beach and hung out after for a couple hours. A week after that went out to a nice dinner, went to a bar for a couple drinks after, we hooked up on the way to the theater and basically through out the entire movie as well as all the way to her house and in front of her house. Couple days later she kind of hinted at the fact that she wants to be friends at least for now (since she still has feeling for her ex/her first of 3 years that dumped her). I kind of went off on her and told her that she still likes a douche bag that doesn’t appreciate her for how great she is. She started balling and it became a big mess. She called me a couple days later and we have been hanging out and talking ever since. She introduced me to her dad as her friend but later that night we had sex and I made her orgasm three times. That was Thursday and it has been weird ever since. She made me brownies and wanted me to come over to get them but conveniently fell asleep before I got home….I don’t know what the hell is going on and I need a plan to get this fiasco resolved.

I dont know what I really want but I honestly wouldnt mind having a relationship with the girl simply becuase it is nice to settle down for a whole

 

[lookyoung]

It seems that you like this girl and have a slight case of oneitis. If you want a serious relationship with this girl I would tread carefully.

The main reason is because woman who have just got out of a relationship are on the rebound. It is hard to measure how much they like you. They may be with you for emotional stability.

Another reason is if this douche bag wants her back she will probably go back to him.

If I were you I wouldn't take things so seriously. Game other girls, keep having sex with her, and relax.

Even if it doesn't work out and she goes back to her ex at least you know in your mind that you banged her and made her *** 3 times.


GOOD LUCK

LOOKYOUNG

 

[iLoveCookies]

It seems that you like this girl and have a slight case of oneitis. If you want a serious relationship with this girl I would tread carefully.

The main reason is because woman who have just got out of a relationship are on the rebound. It is hard to measure how much they like you. They may be with you for emotional stability.

Another reason is if this douche bag wants her back she will probably go back to him.

If I were you I wouldn't take things so seriously. Game other girls, keep having sex with her, and relax.

Even if it doesn't work out and goes back to her ex and least you know in your mind that you banged her and made her *** 3 times.


GOOD LUCK

LOOKYOUNG

Well I have been, I had sex with a hot blonde (that is engaged) over St. Patrick's Day Sh*t Show for lack of a better term, and he wont ask for her back because he is in school far far away. I will admit to a slight case of one-itis simply because she has everything I want in a girl and nothing I don't .

So can I get a solid plan for hte next couple months to follow?

 

[Jay Jay]

Okay, you are making ONE huge mistake here. You are thinking wrong. Your life isn't in shambles; you've just blown that woman mind!

You are THINKING about whats going on instead of DECIDING whats going on.

You know you do have the power to control your own life?

Keep your cool. Don't get clingy. Don't talk about her ex, if she brings him up change the subject. Don't get pulled out of yourr reality by her going on with crazy emotional chick **** (they do that, don't stress). Keep giving her orgasms.

Do this and you'll be able to decide exactly "what is going on."

JJ

 

[iLoveCookies]

Okay, you are making ONE huge mistake here. You are thinking wrong. Your life isn't in shambles; you've just blown that woman mind!

You are THINKING about whats going on instead of DECIDING whats going on.

You know you do have the power to control your own life?

Keep your cool. Don't get clingy. Don't talk about her ex, if she brings him up change the subject. Don't get pulled out of yourr reality by her going on with crazy emotional chick **** (they do that, don't stress). Keep giving her orgasms.

Do this and you'll be able to decide exactly "what is going on."

JJ

Okay, but every time we get down and dirty she talks about "how, friends shouldnt be doing this" yet she is the one that invites me over at 2am to dent headboards and make her wake up her parents.

 

[omgwtfm8]

She's out of a relationship of 3 years.

Here's the trend that I usually see: These girls have a lot of partying to get out of their system before they finally realize they can start to have feelings for a guy again.

I say, forget the LTR. Just focus on the physical parts of the relationship.

 

[NeverFear]

walking away

dude,

everyone on this forum will admit that the first time they ever loved a girl and WALKED AWAY from her because:

1. She didnt love them
2. she tried to control him but he refused because he was a man
3. he recognized that it was harmful to his masculinity to be reduced to the control of an uncontrollable situation

It was HARD. DAMN HARD.

The second time it was easier. And the fourth time, it was a habit and when he looked back he couldnt believe that he ever let a woman control him.

Not because he didnt love her, but because letting her control him means he loses her ANYWAY.

That's reality.

So move on my friend. Date other people. Let her know that you have other things going.

There are other fish in the sea.

If it so happens that by sacking up she comes running back to you on YOUR TERMS then you win.

If she doesnt YOU WIN because you will not be controlled by any individual woman.

 

[iLoveCookies]

I dont have oneitis but given that I am always busy I am not out enough to meet alot of girls so I dont have alot to try to seal the deal with...


elp me masters of the universe!!!

 

[isoman2kx]

Bro, I'm in the exact situation in terms of meeting girls and time constraints.

Yeah man it's tough working 3-4 days a week and going to class for the rest, but hell man it's all up to you in this life.

Tried facebook/myspace? If you really really don't have time, give those a shot. With some tweaking on how to message chicks on there and carry on conversations, you could get pretty good at it. However, I'd only use this if you've got next to no time to meet girls in real life. Because bro, look at it this way... if you go to school, there's girls everywhere.

It's simple logic to just sit down and talk to them (for me, I give this advice as tongue in cheek, because I say this too and yet I don't approach the abundant amount of girls at my school sometimes) for a few mins, and then see where it goes. Number or not, you'll get better at real-life approaches.

Also, like NeverFear said, we've all been there with the oneitis (I still get it sometimes). Still, no one chick that you JUST MET is worth worrying over endlessly. With those, ya gotta have the "next" attitude, as in who's next that's worth my time and not going to toy around with the idea of going back to a bf.

Literally, practice just saying NEXT, when girls give you **** sometimes. It makes it a lot easier.

 

[S.S.N. 318]

If she doesnt YOU WIN because you will not be controlled by any individual woman.

:rockon:..real truth spoken....word em up...

 

[Marcopolo]

Your first problem says it in the title "your life is in shambles" because of some chick that you are not even in an LTR with? When I read the title I thought it was a actually serious problem when you said your life is in shambles, like your career being ruined or you are going through a terrible divorce or something.

Seriously dude, in the scheme of things just enjoy the sex with her and as others have said game other women. It is not worth it to have so much anxiety over a woman you are not serious with anyway, and you only think you are in love with her, you have no idea who she really is for at least six months, then maybe you can start talking about love.