My life after the Tsunami. What should I do now?

[MrJibbles]

So in this thread, I intended to kill my ego temporarily and do something really bold to see what would happen. As I mentioned, my reputation is ruined, everyone in my family and social circle thinks I'm a mental case, and all the related girls think I'm a creep and pervert. I have been on a weed/alcohol binge for the past week. Clearly, I'm not coping with this very well. I fell off the wagon again.

My question, SoSuave members, is what course of action shall I take to negate the repercussions of my actions as much as possible? I have been deeply contemplating this for a while. Should I move, relocated in a far away place, and start from scratch all over again? Should I try to bring about rebirth, like some phoenix from the ashes, and reinvent myself in some foreign, unfamiliar area?

I have been talking to this one girl on facebook, the one who friendzoned me before, and all she had to say about me was that "she liked talking to be because I seemed really smart and weird." It's really too bad, because I've fallen in love with her and she has become my oneitis. If a girl thinks you're weird, she clearly does not respect you, and it follows that she is not attracted to you. Should I try to resalvage this prospect as much as possible, or should I just cut my losses and move on with dignity?

I am at a crossroads in my life right now, a little drunk to be honest, but I know that a big change is necessary at such times. I'm navigating dire straits, so to speak. What do?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Your a weeny dude.

There have been thousands of dudes on this forum who just post to get sympathy and I have been guilty of this as well in the past. The first step that you must take is ACTION. Quit crying about it and take initiative. You cannot change the past but you DECIDE your future. No one else. YOU!

So quit making posts on this forum trying to get people to feel sorry for you and go out and make yourself a better person.

 

[MrJibbles]

Fair enough, AJ. I've been contemplating leaving this forum all together. To be honest, I've gathered more misogynist resentment and negative energy from this board than sound solid advice on how to get women. I'm not blaming anybody for this, but myself. I see SoSuave.net as a negative influence, in that respect. I think it's about time I logged off and got out there and rack up as much failure as I can. I'll come back when I'm more successful. Thank you all for you help though. You guys have provided me with more wisdom than most men ever receive in a life time.

 

[Spinning Spinning]

@AJ
Not sure insulting him and making him feel worse is going to help things. He's asking for help, not judgment.

@Jibbles
Bro get off the weed and alco for starters......conquer that and you'll be surprised how much more confidence you have. You can build on things from there cause that 5hit is just making you more depressed and supressing your confidence/persona. Get over that first, you'd be surprised what a difference it makes. Weed robs you of all confidence, desire and ambition.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I mean you don't have to leave the forum but make sure not to visit it too much. If you come here a lot you can use it as a crutch and it will take you away from your real life. What you want to do is take some principles that you have learned from here and make it the groundwork for your rules and principles dealing with life man.

You gotta work hard if you want to make changes. You can't just read it. You have to apply it. It can be hard as it was hard for me but when you really want to change you will start manning up and listen.

 

[MrJibbles]

@AJ
Not sure insulting him and making him feel worse is going to help things. He's asking for help, not judgment.

@Jibbles
Bro get off the weed and alco for starters......conquer that and you'll be surprised how much more confidence you have. You can build on things from there cause that 5hit is just making you more depressed and supressing your confidence/persona. Get over that first, you'd be surprised what a difference it makes. Weed robs you of all confidence, desire and ambition.

Thank you for your help. I will still leave though. The lyrics from a particular rap song really resonated with me: "This is the number one rule for your set: in order to survive, gotta learn live with regrets" (Jay-z).
This is so true. This is the only thing that will keep me sane considering my present, past, and in future. The words are very Darwinian, in a twisted sort of way.

This helps me cope with the BS of life more than anything else. Life is but a collection of actions, both bad and good. If we can deal with the bad ones, only the goods one are left, by default. It's black and white thinking, which I understand, at least according to the tenets of cognitive behavioral therapy, is irrational thinking. But sometimes, life presents us with either-or-nothing, dialectical dilemmas whether we like or not. I shall move on with dignity and grace, and not worry "'bout what don't got".

 

[SharinganUser]

Man, you are placing far to much emphasis on what other people think of you, and you have got the ***** on a pretty high pedestal. You don't need to work so hard just to get laid or a girlfriend or whatever you want. A few months ago, a friend of mine asked me why I never approach women. I told him that there was a method to my madness and that getting laid isn't high on my priority list. Within a month, 5 girls were chasing me.

Getting girls isn't really a big friggin' deal that everyone (including you) makes it out to be.

As for your family, if they love you then they'll understand your situation and they won't give a crap in the long run.

You really need to re-think about how you let things affect and why, then you need to do something about it. I also think you need to get off the drugs/alcohol and move on.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

So in this thread, I intended to kill my ego temporarily and do something really bold to see what would happen. As I mentioned, my reputation is ruined, everyone in my family and social circle thinks I'm a mental case, and all the related girls think I'm a creep and pervert. I have been on a weed/alcohol binge for the past week. Clearly, I'm not coping with this very well. I fell off the wagon again.

My question, SoSuave members, is what course of action shall I take to negate the repercussions of my actions as much as possible? I have been deeply contemplating this for a while. Should I move, relocated in a far away place, and start from scratch all over again? Should I try to bring about rebirth, like some phoenix from the ashes, and reinvent myself in some foreign, unfamiliar area?

I have been talking to this one girl on facebook, the one who friendzoned me before, and all she had to say about me was that "she liked talking to be because I seemed really smart and weird." It's really too bad, because I've fallen in love with her and she has become my oneitis. If a girl thinks you're weird, she clearly does not respect you, and it follows that she is not attracted to you. Should I try to resalvage this prospect as much as possible, or should I just cut my losses and move on with dignity?

I am at a crossroads in my life right now, a little drunk to be honest, but I know that a big change is necessary at such times. I'm navigating dire straits, so to speak. What do?

Get a surfboard and learn to ride that wave.

 

[MisterD]

You just need to take girls off your mind.

All of your out of control behavior can be attributed to the failures of your love life.

You're letting vagina guide your life/decisions. The sex organs of another person are influencing your life.

It sounds silly when you break it down like that, but it is what it is

Take most of what you read on this forum with a grain of salt

All of us are different, have different beliefs, different strengths and things going for us, different experiences, yet we're all trying to follow some uniform code of seduction and when it doesn't work out for us the way other users claim it does for them (which they may be lying or exaggerating about), we get upset

Just live your life, find a hobby/get good at something, gain confidence from that, and it will start to show in the other areas of your life and the women WILL come

 

[corrector]

If you had such a social circle or reputation, or something to lose, then why didn't you just ask someone out the proper way? Why did you risk to prove something that you could have proved to yourself by going on a sex site or paying a pro (which is legal in Canada) which would have resulted in no damages to you? What did you expect would happen?

You have to isolate this social circle and block them out of your mind as though they never existed and start from scratch or just be a hermit and look at youtube videos about the Byzantine empire and the Russian Tsars and how both empires are related with each other.

 

[Groovy]

First u should to fix ur brain and body. (Just my opinion tho). Oh, have u been going to the shrink?

 

[MrJibbles]

If you had such a social circle or reputation, or something to lose, then why didn't you just ask someone out the proper way? Why did you risk to prove something that you could have proved to yourself by going on a sex site or paying a pro (which is legal in Canada) which would have resulted in no damages to you? What did you expect would happen?

You have to isolate this social circle and block them out of your mind as though they never existed and start from scratch or just be a hermit and look at youtube videos about the Byzantine empire and the Russian Tsars and how both empires are related with each other.

To be honest, I wasn't really super-connected with this social circle. By 'social circle', I'm referring to a group of people who are friends of family or friends of friends. They are arbitrary connections, frankly. Overall, my family doesn't actually care at all. I don't hang out with these people often. It's not a "true" social circle in the sense of coworkers or students who have known each other for years.

Most of these girls, I don't actually know. Only a few girls were really affected by it. I blew things out of proportion honestly. Things right now are actually not that bad.

Right now, I am flirting with a chick by phone and online, and she's basically all up on my d***. The catch is, she lives overseas, has a baby, and obviously needs attention. I don't really care though. This is attention that I'm not used to, especially as a recovering AFC. I'll take what I can get. She calls me constantly and has offered me a striptease and tells me she wants to "drive me hard."

The other girl, who I had once told "I loved her`, did something which I found surprising. I had messed it up so bad with this girl that I treated her like a lost cause. I would just say creepy and weird things to see how she would react. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I may as well act crazy. We talked on facebook for a while, when all of a sudden she gives me her number and tells me "Text me." Before that, I told her "I think I like you." I know it's a faux-pas to express your attraction to a girl verbally, but I've treated her so badly that I decided as may as well say something nice for once.

Obviously at this point, she is wearing the pants in the relationship. She has told me that she likes talking to me because she finds me "smart and weird." I don't know if this is a bad thing or not. I just want to make sure I respond to her sh** tests as adeptly as possible.

My next goal is to ask her out for a date. I will also apologize to her for being such a jerk, and show my "beta sensitive" side to her to cancel out what I've done. David X said to "Treat a princess like a wh*re, and treat a wh*re like a princess." This chick is clearly a wh*re. I think treating her like a princess may work.

Lemme know what you guys think.

 

[Black.Magic]

Double post

 

[Black.Magic]

Dear Mr. jibbles,

I feel your pain, I really do. I was in the exact same position as you, about a year ago (we're the same age). Minus the alcohol, I would smoke weed every day three times a day. I went a little crazy more than once. I got a reputation as a whacked out stoner, a reputation that I hope I have shed. I also live in a small city of about 300,000 people, where everybody knows everybody (or so it seems). Well no! Fcuk the reputation bro! Anyone can start afresh, and moving to a different city won't help. Your family, and only your family, has your back. That's all that matters.

To quit weed you just need to have about 1000 bad trips in a row. Well that's how I did it. Then you need to eat right and do a little exercise. Off the weed for like three months and your life will turn around, guaranteed. Reputation wise: good people don't judge. That's all I can say. Im branching out socially, trying to create a new circle of positive people...

I could go on for pages and pages but you get the idea. Don't be hating this forum either. There is some wisdom l be found here. Stay strong, stay sober bro.