My insightful date on Friday night. What not to do on a date.

T Dog

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Interesting Date Last Friday Night.

Last Friday night reinforced a lot of the DJ Principles for me. I got to see first hand WHY we do things the DJ way and how you look when you don’t do things the DJ way.

Background

I joined a volleyball group several months ago as an outlet for meeting new people and finding non-bar/club areas for meeting women.

We meet once a week and the number of available women in or about my age is slim. One of the girls , Carey (29), is attractive, but not my ‘type’ per say, but she is fun and has big breasts, which is always a plus, but I digress. We had been flirting for a while but I never closed on a date.

At a game her roommate asked me when I was going to ask Carey out, basically telling me that she does want to date. I said I had planned to ask her out, but I was waiting for the right moment. Other than that, I was DJ’ing Carey and 1 or 2 other girls in the group in the perfect DJ way, a lot of eye contact, a little kino, ****y + funny conversation, and it worked.

Last Tuesday the cat was out of the bag, we both knew we liked each other, I had to ask her out. If I waited for her to talk to me and ask me out, that would have been a weak hand to play (as in the card game poker). I saw her first, called her over to me, and struck up a conversation with the intent of asking her out. She was a little nervous so I tried to put her at easy and get a little rapport going before I popped the question. The conversation flowed like mud.

Later in the game she got up her nerve and asked me out! I said yes of course. And we set a date for Friday.

All day Thursday I am stressing out over how I was going to juggle her and this girl I had been developing One-itious over.

The Date

Friday came and I had not heard from One-it is girl, which troubled me deeply, and I was not as excited about my date with Carey as I should have been. I knew Carey wasn’t my type but she is a fun girl and I figured we would have a really good time regardless of how I felt about her.

One of My Biggest Pet-Peeves is A Girl Who Calls too Much.

I expected one call from Carey about when her Volleyball game was to end and when we were to meet up for a drink before the Comedy Show. She called and left a message and then asked me to return her call so that she knew I got the message. That was Call No. 1. Then she call back saying the game was rescheduled to a later time and that she would meet me at the show Call No. 2 . I got another call, Call No. 3, informing me she would be 15 minutes late. Now I can tell several things about this girl already. One, it’s been awhile since she went out on a date, Two her interest level is sky high, and Three her confidence is low. Call No. 4 was to tell me that she was there, on time, and was wondering where I was. I was right around the block parking. And Call No. 5 was, I don’t know I didn’t answer call no. 5.

At the Show.

At the show she is beaming with excitement. I went to get us a drink. I sat down and she immediately wants to hold hands. Now, DJ’s I hope you are seeing this as how to not act desperate on a date. I am sure she thought she was doing everything right, but it screamed desperation, and I was totally turned off. If you read thru the DJ Bible you will know how to act on a date and radiate confidence. While she is doing all the wrong things, I am having flash backs to dates where I did the same stupid things.

I felt awkward, uncomfortable, and it just wasn’t appropriate behavior for a first date. The show began and we were all having a good time when Carey decided it was time for a kiss. She didn’t get my attention and look deep into my eyes and then move in for the kill, which she should have done only much later in the evening, but instead she blurted it out, “Give me a kiss!”

Too forward, bad timing, and not at all in regards to being a challenge.

As I said, she was nervous, but she must have been REALLY nervous because within’ one hour of our date she was $hitfaced drunk. Not a good first impression.

After the show I steered us to a pizza shop where we got some food, which was all to sober up Carey and then went dancing.

At Her Car.

Luckily this date didn’t get dragged into the wee hours of the morning. As I dropped Carey off at her car, she asked the thing that no DJ should ever ask, “How did we do?” Well, I did great, you on the other hand called too much, got drunk, and came off as desperate.

Guys never ask that question.

On Saturday I called the One-itious girl and got the, “Hey, I’m on the other line with my Mom, can I call you back?” That relationship is dead and Carey is no longer a prospect either. On Thursday I was worried about how I would juggle the two girls, now I’m wondering when it will be when I have ANY girls to call. It’s time to start at Stage One and acquire digits off of some new prospects.

I hope you guys got as much insight into this date as I did.

T Dog
 

Ivan Drago

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T Dog, are you in NYC? This is where my co-ed volleyball league is. And I so far I dated 2 different women because of co-ed volleyball, so I highly, highly recommend it to everyone.

It is funny how everyone claims "men are from Mars & women are from Venus" and yet we are exactly alike (except for the genitals). This chick was as desperate as your usual AFC and she paid for it. Who says AFCs have to be male?

It is also funny how one moment you choosing between the two women and next you are alone again. A while ago I was about to set a record for myself - 4 dates (all different women) in one week. Guess how many of these women are still around? 0.

So thanks for the entertaining story. I hope it answers the question for everyone who ever asked "How do I know if she is interested?"
 

T Dog

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I WISH I was in NYC! I'm down in Austin, Tx. I usually go up to NYC once or twice a year. I'm planning on going again this New Years.

I'm glad you liked my story. I learned a lot and i am hoping everyone else who reads it can too.

It's a long game. Sometimes your ahead, sometimes your behind.

T Dog
 

Ricardo

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Excellent post. Damn I know how it is having 2-3 girls in your stable and watching them vanish and have to replenish.

Well I had an interesting date last night too, but I will post it under another topic, because I think it is important.
 

Intruder

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good story. The first few calls are OK, since they were to make sure you were not waiting too long and set up times, but the others.......

I am 30, but sometimes when I meet a good looking women 28-33 and single, I start to wonder a bit.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

PlayerinTraining

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I'm just wondering--this woman really likes you. She acted a little nervous on ONE date. Why don't you give her another chance?
 

[A]rtful[DJ]

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Just coz you have acquired new knowledge and understanding does not mean you should make things difficult for yourself and others.

I personally think you have wasted a good opportunity. Just because you hate your AFC days does not mean you are to hate others for being an AFC. You should be glad that you had such an easy give away at those big tits. You should thank your hard work at becoming a DJ and milk the benefits at every chance you get.

You should know better than to be like those extra fussy and sensitive byatches that had you going round the block in your AFC days.

No investment should go wasted. A DJ should be able to see a positive light in all walks of life. If she was worth going out with she must be worth a fu.ck.

I would also like to make another small comment:
Assuming that she was the needy type which might not have appealed to you, i guess you made the right choice by not fu.cking her. Which is very honourable and unshelfish act on your part.




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Realize that the world is just a stage, and u ll see how easy everything is.
 

Loke

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Originally posted by T Dog:

At the Show.

At the show she is beaming with excitement. I went to get us a drink. I sat down and she immediately wants to hold hands.

The show began and we were all having a good time when Carey decided it was time for a kiss.

As I dropped Carey off at her car, she asked the thing that no DJ should ever ask, “How did we do?” Well, I did great, you on the other hand called too much, got drunk, and came off as desperate.

Guys never ask that question.
How di you react to these things? I've been there before too and on one hand, I hate to look like an ******* , and on the other hand, I don't want to string them along like it's ok. Can you elaborate on what happened?

Loke
 

T Dog

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[A]rtful[DJ]
You should know better than to be like those extra fussy and sensitive byatches that had you going round the block in your AFC days.


Crap, now I have something else to hate about myself, I'm being a fussy a$$ byatches! God, will I ever win? LOL

Loke, I played off the advances. I figured if she called me out on it, (on not wanting to hold hands, etc. ) I'd easily say "in due time" and wink at her.

But that never came up.

At the car I told her I had a good time, which I did, so that wasn't a complete lie.

I will probably see her tonight at Volleyball which will be ackward. I haven't called her so she must have some clue.

What do you guys think I should do or say to her tonight?

T Dog
 

Ron Juan

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you know what I hate those screwy situations..

it's almost a LOSE-LOSE situation too haha.. why?

If you don't give her a lot of attention, you'll make her want you more.

If you DO give her a lot of attention, she'll think you're in love w/her cuz she's a stupid obsessed girl like that.

haha good luck


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Ivan Drago

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"What do you guys think I should do or say to her tonight?"

I think you should L.J.B.F. her and remember to go easy on her ego. And do actually make her your friend. At least she will make great social proof.

By the way one of the women from my volleyball team L.J.B.F'd me 2 weeks ago. And this is exactly the reason I waited till the end of the season to go out with her. I knew it would be awkward if it didn't work out and so I waited till the end of the season so I never had to see her again.
 

Don_juan

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Why don't you bone her? I don't get it, sounds like an easy target and you both could have some fun. You have no others in your stable, so why not?
 

[A]rtful[DJ]

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Damn I would like to think that I have self-control but anything with big tits brings out the Casanova in me.

Well if I were you I would make up some BS excuse and try to get my hands on those umm u know. No matter how fu.cked up your excuse might be she will be inclined to believe it, for the sole reason that she is in the zone.
How much her heart wins over her head is in correlation with how much she is in the zone(into you). And from what you have mentioned she seems preety much in the zone.


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Realize that the world is just a stage, and u ll see how easy everything is.
 

englishman

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Hey, YOU are the DJ, she is the women!!!!!!!!! because she didnt manipulate you like we are learning to manipulate and control women here, isnt a bad thing...It puts you in charge, so her confidence was low and she was nervous, BUT, she had the balls to ask YOU out and to ask YOU for the first kiss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you ended up calling miss unavailable..........sorry man sounds like wussyness to me...........peace
 

Imbrondir

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Originally posted by englishman
Hey, YOU are the DJ, she is the women!!!!!!!!! because she didnt manipulate you like we are learning to manipulate and control women here, isnt a bad thing...It puts you in charge, so her confidence was low and she was nervous, BUT, she had the balls to ask YOU out and to ask YOU for the first kiss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you ended up calling miss unavailable..........sorry man sounds like wussyness to me...........peace
You're missing the point. It sounds so perfectly logical everything you wrote there, but it still lead to him losing his attraction to her. Nature is really ****ed up sometimes :(
 

ApocalypseCow

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Originally posted by Imbrondir
You're missing the point. It sounds so perfectly logical everything you wrote there, but it still lead to him losing his attraction to her. Nature is really ****ed up sometimes :(
Well, the girl came off as desperate. The key phrase in the original post was "it doesn't seem like she goes on many dates", which is a huge turn-off (or at least, not getting asked out by other guys is a turn off).

Personally, I'd give her another shot. Maybe she was rusty (although there's not excuse for getting drunk like that).
 

Quick

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I don't get you guys that are saying he should have gotten with her anyway. He wasn't too attracted to her from the start, and then she acts desperate and gets drunk lowering his interest in her even more. He isn't trying to punish her, he just doesn't want her.

The whole point to being a DJ is to be able to get what you want out of life. If she isn't something he wants, then the right thing to do is to next her. It would be an act of desperation on his part to bang her just because she was there and available. He's able to recognize that she doesn't have the last v@gina on Earth. You can't even claim she's practice because he doesn't have to use any techniques on her because she's not presenting a challenge.
 

Toke

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I'd personally give her another chance. Dont you remember when you were AFC? I just had my first real "date" with a girl a month back. WE made out, everything seemed great.

Then she just cut contact with me. She was a good friend of mine before that, so it hurt. She knew damn well I've never had a GF, so she shouldnt have been suprised that I acted AFC afterwards (as much as I've learned here, I still make mistakes).

Give her a chance, maybe the reason why she's so AFC is because no other guy ever gave her a chance, and maybe she's feeling the same right now as I did a few weeks back (and still do a bit).
 
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