My Girlfriend was raped by her Ex...

[DJDamage]

What was the story of the "alleged rape"? The more details you give us the better. You need to be like a cop and find out all the details you can from her so you will be in a better position to assess the situation. Your girl can't just drop "hey I got raped" without giving you the details.

The truth is in the details, that's why today they don't call it rape, they call it "Sexual assault" because not everything is that simple.

First of he wasn't a stranger. Were they in a relationship together or they had already broken up?

Was she intoxicated?

where did the "alleged rape" take place? why was she there?

were they already engaged in sexual activity and she wanted to stop and he didn't?

 

[Jitterbug]

Yeah what was the story? Of equal importance, what was the context of that occasion when she brought up the rape?

I've been in your shoes before. It wasn't really rape and she kept coming back to the rapist for more. It was brought up only to bring out my Captain Save-A-Ho (luckily I had the brain to not act on it) and to excuse the sh!tty things she did to me.

 

[The Inside Man]

Man. It is one of the worst feelings. In my mid twenties I thought I had seen a good spectrum of the problems you can have with women. This one is a first for me too, and my situation is extremely similar to the story below. Especially that feeling that she didnt fully trust me even though we were both really attracted to each other. What really sucks is seeing her look at you and knowing that she likes you, and knowing that there is something else in the middle of you that can prevent a relationship or make it very difficult. It's out of your control. With my girl it happened a couple years ago, in a different state. Very difficult to prosecute and often the girl is so afraid or emotionally crushed that she wont want to come forward.

Guys saying that she might be lying, maybe... but the clusters of individual indicators or red flags in her behavior that come out over time... At first you think shes just really shy but know that she likes you, eventually you think if you keep doing things right it will grow into more, but she's just kept me at a safe distance while we've been seeing each other. It's tough to think that some piece of **** messed up a girl's life, the impact on her family, the impact on the next guy that (tries to) date her like us...

Its a rotten feeling. Anger sadness and disappointment(that it happened, not with her) are the mix that I've got. I had thought that things might not work out with us but never thought I would find out something like this is the reason why.

And she's completely gorgeous by anyone's standards, athletic, involved, not a partier, a girl I had fun with when we were hanging out.

The thing that makes it difficult is that when you find out something like that you want to support her and be with her, but she's keeping you at a distance.

It would take a miracle to turn my situation around.

I am dating some other girls and trying to decide whether I still want to hang out with the one I really like. I'll see her once or twice a week anyway b/c we are involved in the same things in the community. So I can't get away, just going to try to take my emotions out of it more, but guys that have really had this happen, I know what it's like now, and it f*cking sucks.

But this is something I've been through.

Here's a little background: I dated this chick for 5 months (we've been broken up for 2 now so this is fairly recent). I always got this weird feeling that she didn't trust me even though I did everything in my power to help her trust me. 3.5-4 months in the topic (trust) comes up in conversation. She tells me point blank she can't trust guys. Why? She got raped. Did I feel bad for her? Of course I did. However, it pissed me off to no end that she waited until I got real feelings for her before she told me. So I find out she can finally trust guys now..... after we broke up. It killed me because I put in all that hard work to show her not all guys are a$$holes only for some new guy to get the new-improved version of her. If it hadn't have been for her trust issues (the cause of MANY fights) this girl would have been close to perfect. Honestly, I'm glad she's better now, she's had a hard life and deserves better, but I'm mad as hell I had to be the transition guy. I never did one bad thing to the girl but I had to pay for what other guys before me did to her. If I had known all this going in, I may have just cut her loose and tried to help her outside of a relationship. I'm not saying I regret her, I'm just saying I invested a LOT and only got hurt in the end.

Straight-up this isn't something I like to talk about because the whole situation and how it played out really hurt me. Just be prepared. If you do decide to go for this girl it's gonna be one hell of a roller-coaster ride. So ask yourself "Am I really ready for this?" and then ask yourself if you really care enough about this girl to do through it all. Finally, if you do go through with it prepare for the possibility that you'll get hurt and come out the loser in this deal.

 

[Lust]

Hello DJs... I can't put into words how angry, shocked and disgusted I feel right now. A few days ago, I come to learn that my current girlfriend was raped by her Ex. This happened before we got together. I know it's in the past and it can not be changed, but my mind can only dwell... he practically got away with what he did, since my Girlfriend couldn't bring herself to anyone, and it's probably too late to take action now.

DJs, I'd like to ask you how you would react to this sort of situation. How would a 'Man' take to all this?

Thanks.

Hey mate,

Alright listen up, I'm going to tell you what 90% of community members are missing right now.

We know people (me, you/you and your girlfriend/you and your friends) interact by the words we say, our body language, our tonality, and what's VASTLY over looked, the TIMING and CONTEXT in which we say it.

A girl might say "I never do this" before you shag her. Does it mean that she really has never done that? Nope. She is saying "I don't normally do this, but you're awesome so i will, but pleaaase don't think I'm a slut".

If your girlfriend said "I was raped" in front of a support group, she is saying "I want to work through this in a professional manner", when she says "I was raped" to YOU, her loving boyfriend, she might be saying "I want to see how you react to this skeleton in my closet", or "I want you to be accepting of this skeleton in my closet because I want to have sex with you".

Same three words, vastly different meanings.

The reason I said it was what 90% of community members are missing, is because they're all too focused on saying x C&F line to elicit y response from a girl at point z in the interaction. They don't listen to what is actually being said, to understand what responses to elicit and why.

Anyways, i hope it made sense to you.

Cheerios,

-Lust.

 

[EnjoysWatches]

Could just be the typical female BS. I had a girl tell me that, but I knew the whole story. When a girl wakes a guy up by rubbing his unit,I'm not sure how she can claim it.

This, I've had a girl tell me that she was raped by her ex. I dwelled on it and its weird to think about. But knowing the girl now I know she's a heavy liar so I don't know what to believe lol. Nor do I care in all honesty.

 

[casaanova]

A "man" would realize that she has more baggage than he really wants to deal with.

Be nice, tell her to go to therapy.

Don't be a chump and stay - girls with sexual issues are bad for you.

Eaxctly. I make it a point to stay away from girls with BPD, girls who were abused as children and girls who have been raped. It's sad that it happened to them (allegedly), but contrary to popular belief a girl getting raped EVEN ONCE in her life is extremely rare (especially in this feminist society). What's common is a girl waking up from a ONS, finding out the guy was a beta and all of a sudden "feeling" like she was raped. Girls who have BPD or have a history of claiming rape have already tasted the power of the cop out and will use it to get their way whenever sh*t hits the fan - regardless of whatever happens to the man. I just stay away entirely; it's hard enough dealing with a normal girl who doesn't have those problems

 

[Plutoman]

My ex had that, she would flinch away from sudden movements. Body language was a very powerful representation.

It was another factor that drove us apart. Not going to go into details.

All you can do is see how it affects her. She's admitting it to you because she wants to be clear on her past. Don't be ****y over it, don't be a total emotional tampon, but still, be a good person. I don't think there's any easy way to handle it. I agree with what Lust said.

If she tries to manipulate you with it, use it as excuses, then she's being manipulative of it. If she's completely honest about so you understand occasional reservations she has, then she's just trying to work through it and she's hoping for you to accept her as is. It's impossible to judge the situation without knowing her intimately. Just keep in mind some of the DJ principles; don't stick yourself in a situation you can't handle (emotionally handle), don't be manipulated, don't stick with the girl if she's a bad influence on you, and especially on your mood.

 

[Tiguere]

Eaxctly. I make it a point to stay away from girls with BPD, girls who were abused as children and girls who have been raped. It's sad that it happened to them (allegedly), but contrary to popular belief a girl getting raped EVEN ONCE in her life is extremely rare (especially in this feminist society). What's common is a girl waking up from a ONS, finding out the guy was a beta and all of a sudden "feeling" like she was raped. Girls who have BPD or have a history of claiming rape have already tasted the power of the cop out and will use it to get their way whenever sh*t hits the fan - regardless of whatever happens to the man. I just stay away entirely; it's hard enough dealing with a normal girl who doesn't have those problems

Moron stop resurrecting ancient threads

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hello DJs... I can't put into words how angry, shocked and disgusted I feel right now. A few days ago, I come to learn that my current girlfriend was raped by her Ex. This happened before we got together.

Be careful with a woman who claims to have been "raped" by her husband or boyfriend (in other words, a guy that she normally has consensual sex with). You could find yourself being her next "rapist"...without even realizing it. And this time, she just might go to the authorities,

 

[casaanova]

Moron stop resurrecting ancient threads

? TF do you care? You didn't even participate in this thread

 

[twentee]

it's NOT rare, guys. Especially if she's been single for quite a while and has dated a lot, more especially if she drinks or dopes. about 1 in 3 such women will get raped, sometimes in their lives,and yes, it RUINS many of them for future relationships.

 

[zinc4]

I can't believe how much of a pvssy everybody is on here. Go wait until no ones around, and put a bat on that guys legs. Somebody raped your girlfriend? You have to handle that sh*t. Just don't get caught. Don't listen to these guys telling u to dump her because of emotional baggage, that's obviously not the case here. Just take care of her, and protect her...it's part of your job as boyfriend.

LOLOLOL typical pathetic white knight thinking right here.....you should be ashamed of yourself for being such a simp...in fact, someone needs to beat your ass for handing out such horrible advice...simps like you always start trouble with me at bars and clubs because their GFs told them too...seriously man, i despise guys like you. OP, please ignore this guy unless you want to end up in jail and have a serious criminal charge on your record following you around forever for nothing. Aggravated assault is a very serious charge.

The guy was her BF....it's hard to believe a girl saying her ex bf raped her and she will not go to the authorities....i mean they used to be in a relationship...she could just have sour grapes...never believe a woman about such a thing unless it's one you have known her for years or she is a trusted a family member...not some girl you have only been seeing for 6 months...most women who feel slighted or have had their egos damaged will make up stories to satisfy their egos.

Assaulting some guy with a baseball bat because your GF or 6 months told you a bad story about him is white knight/simp behavior..........meanwhile while he is sitting in jail for aggravated assault, she will be banging other guys if not the one that she got him to attack with the baseball bat in the first place.

NEVER EVER trust a girl you have only been with for 6 months and never put your neck out for her.

 

[Burroughs]

She is lying

Here's why

Women are like the government...they provide information ONLY TO INCREASE THEIR OWN POWER IN A SITUATION

When women leak information it is solely TO GAIN POWER

AGAIN

When women leak information it is solely TO GAIN POWER

All the pillow talk, the innocent kitchen chatter..its all purposeful to put her in higher place over you..don't fall for it.

...remember in a woman's mind a man even looking at her the wrong way (ie the man is ugly) is *rape*

 

[Down Low]

The bedroom is where men and women resolve their differences. The ex, who was at that time her man, wanted to put things right. She didn't. The next day, she started up the same old sh1t and kept the fight going. But she added to it a false charge of rape. Refusal to end an argument is grounds to leave a woman. He left. She kept mouthing off "rape" to new BFs to get them to fight her tired old fight for her with the ex. Any experienced DJ has seen this over and over with slvts.

 

[GotED?]

It sounds to me the OP does not know himself that well at this point in life. A man who KNOWS himself KNOWS what he will do with this information (there are a hundred directions to go as you can tell from the response). The key is this is YOUR girlfriend, what are you as a man (or as a boy) gonna do with it?

My opinion is this - just as many men on here who are AMW (Attention Man-Wh0re) and cries 'BPD!!' and loves to play the victim when they encounter a nasty woman, there are just as many women who cries 'RAPE!!' and play victim to gain attention and sympathy.

We know as DJs on here, that women are cruel and evil creatures at times; 100x more better manipulators than we will ever be. But there are also wonderful women around just like good men (those negative fookheads on here who brainwashes poor souls on negativity, wake up).

I like to believe, that women who exhibit Attention Wh0ring symptoms would fall in line in gaining sympathy by claiming 'RAPE'. It all depends on what kind of human being your girlfriend is. I see no benefit in a girl telling a guy she's been raped. This is something you shut your mouth and keep it to yourself if you are a smart person. The only few credible reason to tell someone is to gain some sort of leverage, a sympathetic one.

Good luck..

With respect,,

Exodus

 

[Gray The Prince]

Hello DJs... I can't put into words how angry, shocked and disgusted I feel right now. A few days ago, I come to learn that my current girlfriend was raped by her Ex. This happened before we got together. I know it's in the past and it can not be changed, but my mind can only dwell... he practically got away with what he did, since my Girlfriend couldn't bring herself to anyone, and it's probably too late to take action now.

DJs, I'd like to ask you how you would react to this sort of situation. How would a 'Man' take to all this?

Thanks.

Did you tell Mr. Krabs?

 

[incognito42]

Hello DJs... I can't put into words how angry, shocked and disgusted I feel right now. A few days ago, I come to learn that my current girlfriend was raped by her Ex. This happened before we got together. I know it's in the past and it can not be changed, but my mind can only dwell... he practically got away with what he did, since my Girlfriend couldn't bring herself to anyone, and it's probably too late to take action now.

DJs, I'd like to ask you how you would react to this sort of situation. How would a 'Man' take to all this?

Thanks.

Wrong place to bring this discussion my man. Most guys here don't believe in rape. They hate women and believe there's always "more to the story". Either she was "asking for it", she's making it up to get attention, she had consensual sex when she was drunk or on drugs and claimed rape when she sobered up, she got gangvanged and regretted after so claimed rape, etc etc

It's very sad, sick, an twisted but a lot of the guys here think this way

 

[incognito42]

I don't get how people can just take the easy route and abandon someone just because they are a burden.

Because most guys here are woman hating scumbags who never have relationships, never get with chicks, but get on here to rant and rave about the "alpha way" of doing things

I didn't read any responses to this thread before making my last post, and now looking at the responses I couldn't be less shocked. 75% of responses are just guys jumping to conclusions that she's lying for one reason or another, or that women who get raped should be floated off to their own island never to be dated again like they have leprecy

 

[Down Low]

Can you imagine a man saying:

Honey, I got fired last year even though I was the most productive employee. Please seduce and break the heart of my former boss.

Honey, my ex conspired to defraud me in family court. Is there anything you can do about it?

Honey, some b1tch hit my car and drove off. I got her info through DMV but she has no insurance. I'm crying. Please do something to make me feel better.

So why do you pay attention when some woman says:

Honey, one of the times when I was having sex with my ex...

 

[incognito42]

Are u that dense that you think getting fired or getting in a fender bender is tr same as getting raped?

A woman will never forget about getting raped, an will be effected forever by it

People get over getting fired or getting a scratch on their car in days if not hours

And what makes you think she came crying to him to do something about it? All he said was that he found out this happened, and it made him very angry.

Like I said, a lot of guys here just plain HATE women and are equally bat shyt crazy as feminist women who preach man-hate