My girlfriend isn't a virgin but i am

[Jokerlsk]

Hey guys, it's been a while. Since my last post I've made a lot of changes. I really just focused on my confidence and I really have it now. I feel like it's tangible. I got myself a girl, and this girl is in love with me. I've dated her for four months and everything is smooth sailing. She's a really great girl: she's smart, beautiful, compassionate, and fun. Everything seems perfect almost always, but one thing gets to me: she's made mistakes I haven't. She's my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first date. She's drank before and I never have and it's something I'm really against and while that hardly bothers me, the fact that she isn't a virgin really eats away at me. She had sex with her ex boyfriend once when she was 16 and the guy was 18. The guy is a faggot. He's stupid, small, weak, and has gone to a community college for 3 years. I could break this guy in half and I'm 17. Me and her were friends before they dated, and she actually had a crush on me way back then. She used to talk to him about me, and when they dated he forbade her from talking to me. I would try a lot, and she wouldn't respond. I'd see them places and this guy would try to act like a hard ass. When i think about it, it kills me. how could she lose her virginity to THIS guy? A guy that took advantage of her when she was crying over her parents divorce and promised her love when he could never give it to her. A guy that drunk called her and told her she was a *****.

Honestly, i struggle with this. I really do. I pick fights with her when it's on my mind because it kills me that she lost her virginity to a guy that isn't half the person i am in any fashion. A guy i'm bigger, smarter, stronger, and more attractive than. It just kills me, and I don't know how to make it stop. Any help? Thanks a lot.

 

[runner83]

Bang her and quit your whining.

Attraction may not seem logical, but the fact is she was more attracted to him then.

Actions tell the truth, not words.

 

[Tiguere]

Read the dj bible. At 17 you shouldnt even have a girlfriend. Step your game up so you dont have to call a girl your girlfriend in order to get laid.

 

[Jokerlsk]

I really don't want to "bang" her... I'm asking for real advice. I've had the opportunity to have sex with her and I decided against it. That's not what i want right now. She was never attracted to him. She dated him because he had a car and her parents were fighting all the time because of their upcoming divorce and he provided an escape. She had sex with him because she wanted to fall in love with him, and he took advantage of her on a day where she had been crying about her parents. He's really a scum bag. I need real advice.

 

[Tiguere]

What you need is an asswhipping. Where is your father?

 

[Jokerlsk]

An asswhipping? For what?.... I'd rather wait till marriage for sex. That's a personal choice, not something to be attacked over.

 

[rocket87]

You are entitled to your personal choice, but sooner or later you will kick yourself in the ass when your future 'wife' ends up having 27 partners and you've been saving yourself for that 'special' moment.

Not to mention, your girlfriend is craving sex, all she has to think about regarding sex is her experiences with that other dude.. How does that make you feel? Worse I'm sure. (Not trying to make you feel worse, just proving the point). More on that in a second..

Anyway, you are wrong when you say she was never attracted to him. He created attraction which lead to your "girlfriend" giving it up to him. (This is not an opinion. It is a fact.)

You are making sad excuses for yourself and your girlfriend. You sound pretty co-dependent on this girl as well, and that if she was gone your life would be over - Does that sound familiar? If so, BAD news for you, because it'll end soon with that attitude - You should do some research on the word interdependence, it will help you out in the long run.

Stop thinking about this guy and focus on yourself. We aren't trying to attack you here, no matter how much you think we are, these are things we've learned from experience and ways we've observed in the field.


Btw, I've been in a similar situation as you when I was a young AFC. The more you think about this guy, the worse it gets. The more it will eat away at your brain. It will make you do stupid things and waste your time, it will hurt you emotionally and physically. It will bring you down. The only option is to stop thinking about it, and only YOU can overcome this and control the situation.

I don't know what else to say about the sex thing. I don't want to sh!t on your personal beliefs, but it's just not very realistic these days. You have a better chance at winning a 100 million dollar lottery then you do finding a girl with similar beliefs as you that is has an ounce of beauty AND is a virgin. It won't happen. If this takes you 5 years to realize, I'd appreciate a PM in 2016 so I know I was giving solid advice.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Oh Boy! I suggest you read this post tomorrow, after a good night's rest, and maybe you'll see exactly why you find yourself in the predicament you are in. But, you want feedback now, so let me give you some tough love, young grasshopper!

Hey guys, it's been a while. Since my last post I've made a lot of changes. I really just focused on my confidence and I really have it now.

You do? No you don't. I know because I went ahead and cheated, and read your entire post.

Advice: KEEP WORKING ON YOUR CONFIDENCE AND DEVELOPMENT.

I feel like it's tangible. I got myself a girl, and this girl is in love with me. I've dated her for four months and everything is smooth sailing. She's a really great girl: she's smart, beautiful, compassionate, and fun.

Do you know just how lucky you are to experience this in your very first relationship, with a cool girl?

Advice: STOP BEING SO UPTIGHT AND ENJOY HER AND LIFE. AS MENTIONED BY RUNNER83, JUST BANG HER!

Everything seems perfect almost always, but one thing gets to me: she's made mistakes I haven't.

Is this what you tell her? No need to, she knows and feels your judgmental energy. Not a good thing. Are you pi$sed she's made those "mistakes" or that she made them with somebody else?

Advice: STOP FOCUSING ON HER MISTAKES, AND ZOOM IN ON YOURS. TIME TO GROW UP.

She's my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first date. She's drank before and I never have and it's something I'm really against and while that hardly bothers me

So you're really against it, yet you are willing to look the other way and go against your principles? Hmm. Looks like she's not the girl for you.

Advice: REALIZE THIS IS JUST YOUR FIRST OF SEVERAL GIRLFRIENDS YOU WILL HAVE BEFORE IT IS ALL DONE.

the fact that she isn't a virgin really eats away at me.

She's scarred, polluted, or unholy for your highness? Does it eat you away that she's not a virgin and she didn't do the deed first with you? Would you have been willing to look the other way on this one had it been you who had sex with her first?

Let me break it to you. Women are sexual creatures. If you want a woman who doesn't want to have sex, just wait until you are married. You won't be getting much after a while.

Advice: IF YOU CAN'T GET OVER THAT, YOU NEEDT O BREAK UP AND GO TO CHURCH AND LOOK FOR A VIRGIN. SIMPLE!

She had sex with her ex boyfriend once when she was 16 and the guy was 18. The guy is a faggot.

Oh, get over this one. She's had sex with at least one guy. Most likely more. She knows how judgemental and butt hurt you are about it, so she most likely is lying. She's also messed around with plenty of boys (1st, 2nd, 3rd bases).

She's had sex with her ex boyfriend, many, many times, not just one time. She knows you are the type who's so fragile and unable to handle the truth, so she's had to feed you some white lies to protect your ego, and says it was only one time. Get over that one too.

He's not a faggot. He was assertive, and willing go for her, and impose his reality on what he expected from her (I read the rest of your post, and he has strong enough boundaries and she respected them).

Advice: STOP HATING, IT NEVER LEADS TO ANYTHING GOOD!

He's stupid, small, weak, and has gone to a community college for 3 years. I could break this guy in half and I'm 17.

Stupid as in a low IQ? Any proof of his stupidity?
Small? Where? If he is, why are you so threatened over something in her past? You could break him? YOu are really reaking weakness, my young brother.
What is wrong with going to a community college for 3 years? Again, you don't know the circumstances. Do you actually tell these things and talk to her about him this way?

Advice: THE MORE YOU KEEP GRILLING HER ABOUT HER PAST AND THE THINGS SHE SHARES WITH YOU, THE LESS SHE WILL OPEN UP, AND THE MORE EXCUSES YOU WILL GIVE HER TO DUMP YOUR A$S. STOP IT!

Me and her were friends before they dated, and she actually had a crush on me way back then.

She had a crush and you did what about it? Don't worry about the past, and definitely don't be angry at him or her. It was you who had a chance and didn't seize the moment.

Advice: HE WHO HESITATES, MASTURBATES.

She used to talk to him about me, and when they dated he forbade her from talking to me.

He forbade her, and she obeyed. My guess is she was really into him, and as a good girlfriend, didn't want to do anything that could possibly upset him and cutting male friends like you was the step she took. I don't blame her. Again, this is what she tells you, because you can't handle the truth. She's not going to say what I told you, if it was the case. Specially if you constantly keep nagging her about how hurt you are that she cut you off, etc.

Advice: STOP DWELLING ON THE PAST, SPECIALLY IN FRONT OF HER!

I would try a lot, and she wouldn't respond. I'd see them places and this guy would try to act like a hard ass. When i think about it, it kills me.

This is what I was referring to above. You were coming across as a needy, stalkerish, creepo. She would have lost a lot of respect for her boyfriend if he didn't step up and tell her to cut you off. I think she just decided to drop you like a bad habit, and not mess up things with her. Do you now agree how needy you were behaving?

Advice: BE GRATEFUL SHE IS STILL WITH YOU, CONSIDERING HOW NEEDY AND INSECURE YOU ARE OVER THE PAST.

how could she lose her virginity to THIS guy? A guy that took advantage of her when she was crying over her parents divorce and promised her love when he could never give it to her. A guy that drunk called her and told her she was a *****.

She didn't loose anything. Stop putting the pu$s on such a pedestal. She shared herself with the guy she was into. As mentioned before, women are sexual beings. She was into him for two main reasons. One, he went for her. You didn't. Two, at the time, he had the qualities she was attracted to. You didn't, as you mentioned how you had less confidence before. I guarantee you were even more needy/clingy, and judgmental before you began your transformation.

Advice: STOP PUTTING THE PU$$ ON SUCH A PEDESTAL.

Honestly, i struggle with this. I really do. I pick fights with her when it's on my mind because it kills me that she lost her virginity to a guy that isn't half the person i am in any fashion.

Had forgotten reading this part, but as I said, I knew you are always nagging her. You pick fights with her all of the time, because you are so insecure about that "little guy I can break in half". Are you afraid he was one of those little guys with a huge penis?

Do you actually tell her "It kills me that you lost your virginity to a guy that isn't half the person i am in any fashion"? Ouch!

Well, even if you don't say it out loud, she smells your insecurities. Not good. Your actions and insecure behavior are screaming at her "I am not half the person he is, in any fashion, and your past makes me insecure. I don't deserve you."

Advice: STOP BLOWING YOUR OWN HORN. START BEHAVING LIKE A MAN AND KILL THAT NEEDINESS!

A guy i'm bigger, smarter, stronger, and more attractive than.

But he's got a bigger c0ck! Just kidding man. Don't get all suicidal.
You might be all you mention, but you are also more insecure, more clingy, more judgmental, and as fun to hang around with. Just listen to yourself.

Advice: STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU ARE MUCH BETTER PHYSICALLY THAN HIM, AND START WORKING ON YOUR INNER SELF, THE STRENGHT AND QUALITIES THAT REALLY MATTER.

It just kills me, and I don't know how to make it stop. Any help? Thanks a lot.

Alright, let me just warn you, the more my response upsets you, the more useful my post is going to be, in the long run. I really do feel you. I have been there, almost to the same extreme as you are.

You need a total attitude adjustment regarding this. The only other thing I can say is, you are too young to be in a relationship. You are too needy, too immature, too clingy, too judgmental, to egotistical, too too many things. Guys who are in great shape, big, handsome, and all the things you said about yourself, are a dime a dozen. It is normal to have these faults, shortcomings. It is not ok when you are so delusional you don't even see them. She sees them, and the older she gets, just a matter of months, the more she will know she is the one who doesn't want to be with someone like you.

Let me be the one who breaks it to you. You will not marry this one, nor anybody else you date in your teens or early 20's. Get that in your head and realistic. This might help you accept her past and be less judgmental.

The more you continue doing what you are doing, the quicker she will go with somebody else, and have sex.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Took me almost an hour working on your response. There were no responses when I started reading it and responding.

Very good advice the guys here are giving you. PAY ATTENTION, YOU CAN LEARN A LOT FROM THEIR WORDS OF WISDOM.

There is nothing like experience. Learn from your mistakes, but more importantly, learn from the mistakes of others. It is less painful.

 

[Jokerlsk]

I am insecure. You're right about that. But the truth is that this guy is even worse than i am. This is the guy that finds excuses to text her three times to no avail. He knows she's the best he'll ever have. He'll never be anything, and that's what gets to me. Why do i have what a guy like him had and broke? That's what eats me. That a guy that no one in the world would ever compare to me, not even you, had what i have now. They had sex once, and it wasn't what she wanted, and she's been scared to do it again since because she didn't fall in love with him afterwards and it really broke her.

 

[Jokerlsk]

She would never lie to me. If you want to know the truth, i have the power in the relationship. I always do what i want to do in the end. I make my own choices. I know for a fact that she only had sex with him once, and the only reason she dated the guy after him is because i shot her down the first time, and he was her back up. She didn't do anything at all with that guy, and dumped him because he tried. She liked me while they were dating and one night he asked her to suck his **** and she told me how disgusted she was that he'd ask that and i told her she deserved better and she dumped him through text.

 

[Igetit!]

Hey guys, it's been a while.

What's up Jokerisk? Long time no see. I figured you dropped off the face of the (sosuave) world,lol.

I got myself a girl, and this girl is in love with me. I've dated her for four months and everything is smooth sailing. She's a really great girl:

Good to hear man. At least now you don't have to worry about finding a date for the prom,lol.

Everything seems perfect almost always, but one thing gets to me: she's made mistakes I haven't. She's my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first date. She's drank before and I never have and it's something I'm really against and while that hardly bothers me, the fact that she isn't a virgin really eats away at me.

Ok,you've said something I find interesting here. Now you know me dude,I've ALWAYS been tough on you.so I can't ease up now.


You said....."she's made mistakes I haven't",and these "mistakes" being what,her drinking? Her having sex?


Look.....if you don't want to drink,then cool. You've said over and over and over and over again that you're not looking to have sex right now at 16/17.
In fact,you've said that as long as you've been here,for the past three years.



Now if you don't want to drink,that's fine,and if you don't want to have sex,that's fine,but Jokerisk.....you can't make those decisions for someone else. Let me ask you a question.....you say you're a virgin,right? Well,does SHE KNOW this?


DOES SHE KNOW you're a virgin?


You've been dating for 4 months,right? Well have you two done ANYTHING sexual? The reason I ask is because if she doesn't know you're a virgin and want to wait until marriage,but she doesn't,that's going to be a problem dude.


Have you two sat down and talked about this? If she doesn't know this about you,but she herself wants to have sex,she's probably been telling herself all sorts of things about why you haven't tried to sleep with her yet.

how could she lose her virginity to THIS guy? A guy that took advantage of her when she was crying over her parents divorce and promised her love when he could never give it to her. A guy that drunk called her and told her she was a *****.

He was her BOYFRIEND. They were dating EACH OTHER.

If they were in a relationship together,then who else was she supposed to have sex with? If he was special enough for her to make him her boyfriend,then he was special enough for her to lose her virginity to.


When a guy and a girl decide to become exclsuive with each other,when they decide to leave everybody else alone and simply be together,what do you think the point of that is?



This girl is your GIRLFRIEND. At this moment,she's CHOOSING to leave everyone else alone and be with you. Well if she's leaving all these other guys alone to be with you and ONLY YOU,but YOU WON'T have sex with her (assuming she wants it),then what do you think is going to happen?

Honestly, i struggle with this. I really do. I pick fights with her when it's on my mind because it kills me that she lost her virginity to a guy that isn't half the person i am in any fashion. A guy i'm bigger, smarter, stronger, and more attractive than. It just kills me, and I don't know how to make it stop. Any help? Thanks a lot.

Well what do you want her to do man? You can't unring a bell.

I know this may be hard to believe,but Jokerisk,people actually existed BEFORE you came along. She actually had a life before she started dating you,a life of UPs and downs,highs and lows,good days and bad days.



She had friends and relationships before you came into the picture. And you're upset with her because she had sex with her BOYFRIEND while they were dating each other? Huh?



This is all on YOU. You just got to deal with the fact that she actually lived before dating you. Think about this for a second.....can she seriously do or say anything that'll make her be a virgin again so you'll be happy?


Stop being foolish dude.

You are entitled to your personal choice, but sooner or later you will kick yourself in the ass when your future 'wife' ends up having 27 partners and you've been saving yourself for that 'special' moment.

You may not like what Rocket said Jokerisk,but I'm telling you dude,he's right. I don't know about 27 partners,lol,but from what YOU KNOW SO FAR,she's already one partner up on you.


If you want to wait to have sex,then you need to find a girl who ALSO wants to wait to have sex. You're not a child Jokerisk. If you're going to be in a relationship,then you need to discuss relationship issues with your girl.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

An asswhipping? For what?.... I'd rather wait till marriage for sex. That's a personal choice, not something to be attacked over.

It's one thing to call it a personal choice but quite another to turn around and expect it of others as well. Personal means just that, personal, as in, entirely dependant upon the person. She does not feel the way you do, obviously, or she would still be a virgin. If you want people to respect your choice to wait for marriage then you must respect others choice to not wait for marriage. In fact, her virginity and who she lost it to should be of no concern to you. Sex shouldn't really be much of a topic at all until you're ready to propose. Except to inform her of your beliefs so she can chose to stay or walk away from you.

If virginity is something sacred to you, something that is to be shared only with someone special and in the bonds of marriage, then you and this girl are incompatible. She does not believe in the same things you do. You really should not be in a relationship with her. Be thankful for the good times you two had together and move on with you life. Find someone else. gangster of love is dead on in this one and you are refusing to accept it.

edit: Igetit said what I was trying to add but in a much better way.

 

[Jokerlsk]

Igetit, she knows how i am. She always has and she loves that about me. She thinks i make her better, and she constantly feels less than me because she always wanted to wait till marriage as well. The truth is, while she did make a choice to have sex, she was taken advantage of and she broke up with the guy because of it. They had sex once when she was at a point of weakness and she broke up with him right afterwards and the guy cried... I know she had a life before me, but what really gets to me the most is that she didn't have to. She liked me way back then and I knew she did and i never made a move because i had no confidence and i was scared. She talked to this guy about how much she liked me for two years before they even started dating, and this guy was so threatened by me that he told her not to talk to me, but she didn't listen to him for very long. Last year, towards the end of their relationship, she would flirt with me, and hit on me, because she wanted to be with me. It was never him. He was someone who seemed nice and that she was comfortable with. She really does regret it so much, and that's what sucks the most. After she had sex with him she hasn't felt good enough. She tells me that i represent everything she knows she could have been, and when i came back into her life she aspired to be more like me. The day i called her, after my cousin passed away, I really had changed. I became a better person and started taking chances and realizing that life is a gift and you only get one chance, so why mess up if you don't have to? The moment we became friends again she stopped drinking. Not because i told her to, but because she wanted to be deserving of me. She's always wanted to be deserving of me, and because she didn't think she was, and because i never told her she was, she messed up. That's what eats away at me

 

[Mike32ct]

I am insecure. You're right about that. But the truth is that this guy is even worse than i am. This is the guy that finds excuses to text her three times to no avail. He knows she's the best he'll ever have. He'll never be anything, and that's what gets to me. Why do i have what a guy like him had and broke? That's what eats me. That a guy that no one in the world would ever compare to me, not even you, had what i have now. They had sex once, and it wasn't what she wanted, and she's been scared to do it again since because she didn't fall in love with him afterwards and it really broke her.

Women f&ck the biggest douchbags. The more of a "loser" he appears to be, the more he is probably getting laid. With more experience, you will see this more and more and more. It's especially common at your age. You will spend the rest of your life wondering "What does she see in him?" You just have to accept that that is the way it is, and most importantly FORGET what the others guys are doing or have done. Focus on you, your lovelife, etc. This guy doesn't give two sh*ts about you. Stop wasting your brain cells worrying about him.

 

[f283000]

An asswhipping? For what?.... I'd rather wait till marriage for sex. That's a personal choice, not something to be attacked over.

sex is marriage according to the Bible. If you have sex with a virgin woman that's your wife. You can have sex with 10 virgins and those would be 10 wives. How do you think Solomon had so many wives?

This girl will never be your wife in the eyes of God she will forever be the wife of the first guy that porked her.

 

[sinnerman]

Igetit, she knows how i am. She always has and she loves that about me. She thinks i make her better, and she constantly feels less than me because she always wanted to wait till marriage as well. The truth is, while she did make a choice to have sex, she was taken advantage of and she broke up with the guy because of it. They had sex once when she was at a point of weakness and she broke up with him right afterwards and the guy cried... I know she had a life before me, but what really gets to me the most is that she didn't have to. She liked me way back then and I knew she did and i never made a move because i had no confidence and i was scared. She talked to this guy about how much she liked me for two years before they even started dating, and this guy was so threatened by me that he told her not to talk to me, but she didn't listen to him for very long. Last year, towards the end of their relationship, she would flirt with me, and hit on me, because she wanted to be with me. It was never him. He was someone who seemed nice and that she was comfortable with. She really does regret it so much, and that's what sucks the most. After she had sex with him she hasn't felt good enough. She tells me that i represent everything she knows she could have been, and when i came back into her life she aspired to be more like me. The day i called her, after my cousin passed away, I really had changed. I became a better person and started taking chances and realizing that life is a gift and you only get one chance, so why mess up if you don't have to? The moment we became friends again she stopped drinking. Not because i told her to, but because she wanted to be deserving of me. She's always wanted to be deserving of me, and because she didn't think she was, and because i never told her she was, she messed up. That's what eats away at me

from what you're saying it seems she is quite honest and loyal to you. You gotta let go off that thing or you will throw away a wonderful relationship with a great gal. If you keep bringing it up again and again before her you're going to decrease her interest level. Even if you feel the way you do keep it with yourself, donot bring it up again before her coz it must be difficult for her as well as she did not want to do it. No amount of fighting, morality preaching or anything else is gonna change what has happened.

 

[Tiguere]

sex is marriage according to the Bible. If you have sex with a virgin woman that's your wife. You can have sex with 10 virgins and those would be 10 wives. How do you think Solomon had so many wives?

This girl will never be your wife in the eyes of God she will forever be the wife of the first guy that porked her.

Oh man. This can make the joker commit suicide.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

First of all, I respect your decision not to drink or even have sex. But again, that is your choice. I would like to give you some advice here and I hope you take it well because you do need it. I'm not going to insult or bash you on your beliefs, but I'm just gonna tell it like it is.

You were able to get this girl back in your life as your gf. Some guys aren't that lucky when another guy has them first or being in the "friend zone" when she is with another guy. You were given a second chance, but you are really screwing it up here. It sounds like you really care for her, but you care more about the ex boyfriend banging her more than anything else. You are not going to have this girl for very long by the way you are talking on this forum and behaving around her. Then what are you going to do?

You said that you're more confident now or have new confidence in you. I don't see any of that from what you're writing. You sound very angry and inscure about another guy, an ex boyfriend for that matter. What would happen if she starts showing an interest in another guy? Insulting him and showing weakness towards him isn't going to help you at all. Remember, he was the first guy that got in your gf so he must not be so weak and stupid after all. You have a gf you should enjoy the time with her instead of being obsessed about an ex because nothing is going to change my friend, the deed has already been done, and you can't change that. Each time you pick fights about something she did with him is just going to upset her more and push her away even farther from you. You say that she feels bad about having sex with him once (as she claims) when she felt vulnerable because of the situation with the parents. So let's take her for her word, if she feels that awful about it as you say, you keep bringing that experience up to her, making her feel worse about it all the time. Pretty soon she is going to get fed up with your insecurities and you hounding her about things she did in her past, and look for a more confident and secure guy that will treat her right and not bash her about her past experiences. That was her past and that shouldn't concern you with what she did with her bf. They were together in a relationship. Most people your age in relationships have sex. No matter what she tells you, she obviously thought enough of the guy and wanted him enough to be her first. It was something she wanted. So my advice to you on this if you want to keep her around, is to stop acting like an insecure boy and forget what she and her ex did. Because you can bet almost 99% that your next gf will have at least 2 guys she had sex with before you, and are you going to act the same way towards them?

If you want to keep her, you need to forget about the ex and stop the stupid fights about him. I don't think your relationship is going to work out because first of your obsession with the ex and because the two of you are both different. You are striaght edge and she is not. That doesn't bode too well for you because she drinks and had sex. She knows what that is like, the intimacy of being with another guy and I bet she wants the same intimacy with you. But you made the choice not to have sex and that is your decision. If she really wants that again she will find some other guy to do that for her. You're going to have a tough time findng a gf that will have a non sexual relationship unless you find someone that has the same beliefs as you, because a girl won't keep you around very long if you can't satisfy her or be intimate with her. If you keep bashing her about her ex she will say "why am I with this guy?"

I know you trust her with what she tells you and you want to believe her, but something you need to know that a girl doesn't tell the truth about her sexual history. How do you know how many times she slept with her ex? Just because she said it was ONE time doesn't mean that it was once. That's kind of the classic high school response a girl says. "I've been with only one guy, and we only did it once." That one guy turns out to be 2 or 3 and the "one" time turns into several. People lie about their partners all the time.

Here's an example: When I was in High School there was this really hot girl who was a cheerleader and she was dating this guy from our rival school. I became friends with her flirted etc and not too long after she and that guy broke up. Think it lasted 6 months or so. I didn't have any bitterness towards him, I just wanted to kick his a$$ the two times we played him on the field. I knew she was doing him obviously, and it didn't bother me one bit. Did I care about how many times he nailed her? Was I obsessing over the fact that he got her before I did? Did I call him weak, small, call him names? Did I pick fights with her about how could she have sex with him? Hell no, I banged her good and laughed each time I did because I was the guy nailing her and loved every second of it. I was the prize and she was happy to have me. So one time she was talking about one of her friends sleeping with 6 guys already. Just for the hell of it, I asked her how many guys she had. Guess what she said? One guy and just the one time. And thats the story she gave and swore to. I found that hard to believe because we did it at least 15 times before I asked her that. So after we broke up, her ex was on my same legion baseball team and we got to talking about her, and I got the true story on her. The one time she said she had sex with him turned out to be every friday and saturday night on the weekend, and sometimes during the week. So that was well over 60 times in their few months. The reason they broke up was because she was at a party and wound up having sex with another guy. And another guy on my baseball team nailed her before her ex did. So that one guy she claimed, turned into 2 guys, and counting me that makes 3, and maybe there were more that is unknown. So this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't listen and take a girl for what she says about sexual history.

Here is what you should do... Forget about the ex, who cares about him. He is in the past and should be none of your concern. If you refuse to have sex with your gf then that is your decision, but don't go attacking another guy for doing someting that you refuse to do with her. If you really think that guy is a loser and weak you should bang your gf the first chance you get to show her how much better you are than him. Let her know that you are the prize and let her see how much of a loser you claim him to be. Otherwise, you are just spouting off insecurties and are driving her away and you look very low in her eyes. Or, if you still want to wait until you are married, then forget about the ex and stop badgering her about doing the ex and have fun with her.

Hope you take my advice because the next thread you will be posting will be something like "how could I lose her?" and i'm sure you don't want that.

 

[Aesthetic Indian]

Hey guys, it's been a while. Since my last post I've made a lot of changes. I really just focused on my confidence and I really have it now. I feel like it's tangible. I got myself a girl, and this girl is in love with me. I've dated her for four months and everything is smooth sailing. She's a really great girl: she's smart, beautiful, compassionate, and fun. Everything seems perfect almost always, but one thing gets to me: she's made mistakes I haven't. She's my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first date. She's drank before and I never have and it's something I'm really against and while that hardly bothers me, the fact that she isn't a virgin really eats away at me. She had sex with her ex boyfriend once when she was 16 and the guy was 18. The guy is a faggot. He's stupid, small, weak, and has gone to a community college for 3 years. I could break this guy in half and I'm 17. Me and her were friends before they dated, and she actually had a crush on me way back then. She used to talk to him about me, and when they dated he forbade her from talking to me. I would try a lot, and she wouldn't respond. I'd see them places and this guy would try to act like a hard ass. When i think about it, it kills me. how could she lose her virginity to THIS guy? A guy that took advantage of her when she was crying over her parents divorce and promised her love when he could never give it to her. A guy that drunk called her and told her she was a *****.

Honestly, i struggle with this. I really do. I pick fights with her when it's on my mind because it kills me that she lost her virginity to a guy that isn't half the person i am in any fashion. A guy i'm bigger, smarter, stronger, and more attractive than. It just kills me, and I don't know how to make it stop. Any help? Thanks a lot.

Hey, are you still with that girl? I'm in this exact same situation, she was my first for everything, but I wasn't hers, it was just this one other guy who was in our college and two years elder than her, absolutely disgusting troll of a man who pressurised us and she really regrets it, and the day we started dating she told me she wishes I went for her since the beginning so she could have avoided that guy, it pisses me off that she didn't know her worth and I kind of feel guilty, what suggestion would you give me to move past this?