My girlfriend called me a "softie."

[JCKey618]

It wasn't in a bad way. She even said it in a kind of playful way, at worst just normal, but it didn't sound like she was saying something bad. I was talking to her on the phone and had on some love songs in the background and I told her that I listen to them sometimes to lift my spirits and she said "You're a softie."

Also, her and her friends kept ragging on me about how short I am. I am 5'6 and they would talk about my height all the time and make jokes about it (I could have put her down about her fake hair, but I'm better than that). At first I went along with them, sometimes adding in my own cracks about my height, but a few days I told them to quit it and if they thought of anything else about my height to just keep it to themselves and they said I was too sensitive.

How do I smash this "softie/sensitive" image I have with my girl? Is it necessarily a bad thing?

 

[Best friends? NAY]

When they joke about your hiegth you can say something like..."You know...my lack of heigth is just equalizing out my **** *this is where you wink*"

 

[JCKey618]

^^^^Actually, I think I said something like that once. Like "Where I lack inches in height, I make up for it in other places"

But that is just a response for one time. A few hours/days later I just hear more cracks about my height.

 

[Best friends? NAY]

bust on them then?

 

[MacdaddyJr]

Be careful not to be too insulting and don't come off angry at them. Your GF could get an attitude and her friends may hate you for it.

 

[Capi Crimini]

5'6 is short. Where the **** are you. I'm 5'7 and tall. Normal around here is like 5'5 and ****. seriously where the **** are you. damn.

 

[Julian]

Dude she called u a softie because you are.

Why you gonna cry about that sh1t. Your girl quite immature. Crackin wack jokes all day is lame.


If i were you id joke about her hair. Do it! Who cares? Quit being such a pansy.

 

[R3N3G4D3]

Originally posted by Capi Crimini
5'6 is short. Where the **** are you. I'm 5'7 and tall. Normal around here is like 5'5 and ****. seriously where the **** are you. damn.

5'5 average? wtf, average in my school is 5'9 or so.

 

[MVPlaya]

Take my info with a little grain of salt cause I'm 6'2" and do not share your problem. However, I do know some things. First off, the most common advice DJ's would say (or at least GigaloDJ) would be:
NeXt!

...but I think you're not down for that cause she's your girlfriend. If you have an all around positive relationship with your girl you shouldn't look down on the whole situation in general. But clearly these chicks might be developing what Southern boyz like to refer to as "uppity..." and they need to be smacked down. Throw in some neg-hits. Smile and say, "at least I don't need platforms to hide what I got" while looking at one of these girls' shoes and say something along the lines of, "Cause ya know, I'm big where I need to be." You need to neg-hit these chicks of their pedestals but at the same time don't make it seem like they're not having an effect on you (kind of tough to pull off coz you're clearly hear for that reason).

Here's your two-pronged strategy:
1) Be cool... whatever they say doesn't faze you, you just laugh it off and even look at their remarks like "okay, like that was supposed to be funny" while still smiling.
2) Get them off their high horses... when they sit there and say stuff have something to say back... don't be insulting... but don't be afraid to say something back either.

Now, none of that, "I'm better than that crap." If you were, you wouldn't be here. There is no polite way to end it. If you have a "polite conversation" where you say you want them to stop they'll look at you as having no balls. So just play the game back to them. Also, when your girl gives you slack about your height caress her hair, especially where its not real, pretend to be talking about your physique and say, "Well, at least none of its prosthetic."

Also, why the hell do you need Celine Dion to lift up your spirits? Get yourself some 2Pac and 50Cent tonight and get rid of your Britney Spears CD's (although you can keep her posters if they're revealing enough).

 

[blienk]

Originally posted by Capi Crimini
5'6 is short. Where the **** are you. I'm 5'7 and tall. Normal around here is like 5'5 and ****. seriously where the **** are you. damn.

Do you live in an African pygmy tribe or something? 5'6" is average?? For guys?? Any 5'7" guy I've ever known has been nicknamed shorty.

 

[Sammo]

Stop spanking it 3 times a day and you might grow a pair

Just kidding buddy but listen to yourself: "My GIRLfriend called me a softie, these GIRLS have been teasing me", damn buddy, you dont know how to treat a couple of *****es?

Last time a girl tried to be masculine and step up to me she ended up being more obsessed over me then she was before, damn girls are so dumb it's so easy to handle these situations champ.

 

[JCKey618]

I actually listen to 50 and Tupac all the time. Usually it is all I listen to, but I recently made a CD with all my favorite slow jams (mostly by Dru Hill, KC and JoJo, etc. No Britney Spears. Just R &B basically). I even threw in two Biggie songs on it. All the rest of my custom CDs are rap, mostly.

 

[JCKey618]

And how do I tell the difference between insulting, "saying something back," and just plain mean.

Like, what if I were to say (while touching/playing with her hair) "I love you're hair, too bad it's not yours and won't be here for long." That just sounds plain mean.

Cause God knows I can say some mean sh*t. My girlfriend also calls me mean on a regular basis because of stuff I say about people (sometimes her friends). I just don't say anything about her.

So, I'm a mean, sensitive, softie?

 

[drixsa]

why do u have to prove yourself to anyone? or her friends for that matter?

fighting insults with insults will not get them to like you, let alone think any better of you.

BTW, your relationship will probably hit the sh1tter soon.

listening to a certain type of music will it most put you in a different temporary mood, not change who you are.

ease up on the compliments, for you this relationship has to be about control and i can see already that she owns you.

it doesnt matter how she says it, if she calls you a softie, that is NOT a good thing.

softie=pu$$y

u wanna crush the sensitive thing? stop sharing all your damn feelings with her.

be a bit of a fvckin mystery for goodness sakes?

you are short but you cant control it. if someone makes a crack about your height either ignore it or look at them like they told you something in swaheli.

never insult her friends, you're barkin up the wrong tree with that one.

 

[JCKey618]

You got it wrong. I hardly ever give her compliments. I've never even told her that she was attractive. And I wasn't "sharing my feelings" on purpose, I was just explaining why I was listening to that music. And who said that I was listening to it to change who I am? I said "to lift my spirits" as in to put me in a better mood.

And I rarely share my feelings with her. I've don't hink I really ever have. When she called me sensitive it was referring to my being annoyed by their always talking about my height. Really, I think they have things mixed up a little because 90% of the time when they joked about my height I would joke right back, sometimes makign fun of my own situation too to show it didn't phase me, but one day I was in a bad mood while they were oing it and I told them to "Shut up and keep the short comments to yourself"

So, I think you were looking into what I wrote a little too much.

 

[Julian]

I think u need to take EVERYONES advice here and stop questioning it. We know what you wrote, its pretty clear.

The fact is your girls disrespecting you and its getting to you and she knows it. It shows insecurity on your part and makes you look weak, thats why she called you a softie. The fact that she was saying it in "jest" is irrelevant.

 

[rich_uk]

Originally posted by blienk
Do you live in an African pygmy tribe or something? 5'6" is average?? For guys?? Any 5'7" guy I've ever known has been nicknamed shorty.

hey im 5'7 and im not nicknamed shorty, i might be shorter than alot of people but im also taller than most girls. and height isnt everything, its how you come across that makes the difference. alot of people say that i seem as tall as my 5'10 friends because im confident enough to not let it bother me

 

[blienk]

Hey, nothing wrong with being short, I was just pointing out that 5'6" is not the average height of a full grown male anywhere on earth.

 

[TeflonDon]

its all in the mindset...if you come off as insecure about your height, then ur gonna get bombed on...if your cool with your height, no one's gonna give crap...i'm the tallest 5'5" guy u'll meet...

 

[Luscious]

As a joke:

Next time she says you're a softie, just smile and tell her "Hey - that's not what my other girlfriend said last night".

Make sure it comes off as a joke - but the point gets across.

Don't put up with **** - just let her know you're always willing to bail and go for another girl.