my girl told me I was a Jerk

[frivolousz21]

the other day she called me....to tell me that she was ready for me to come pick her up whenever I felt like it.

she called and said hello.

I said "what do u want?" probably not in the nicest tone...

I am a very sweet man...I didnt mean to be a jerk to her...this is actually the 2nd time ive said something stupid..the other time I called her "big ass" I was joking then too...but both times I was tired..probably came off not what I wanted it to.

she told me tonight when we go out..I can be my sweet charming self that has gotten her to want me bad...and that no guy would ever be in her presence after saying what I said.

or I can be mean and we are done.


of course I will be sweet.

How do I be sweet to her..I want to treat her like a queen..but I dont want to let my guard down and be afc..how do I compromise..so I can make this work...weve been dating for 3 weeks..and have been together for 2...its a great thing we have...she thinks Im wonderful..obvously or she wouldnt still be here.

give me soem advice Gentlemen?

thanks!

 

[yunghova35]

By using PUSH and PULL...

You do know what that is right??

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
the other day she called me....to tell me that she was ready for me to come pick her up whenever I felt like it.

she called and said hello.

I said "what do u want?" probably not in the nicest tone...

I am a very sweet man...I didnt mean to be a jerk to her...this is actually the 2nd time ive said something stupid..the other time I called her "big ass" I was joking then too...but both times I was tired..probably came off not what I wanted it to.

she told me tonight when we go out..I can be my sweet charming self that has gotten her to want me bad...and that no guy would ever be in her presence after saying what I said.

or I can be mean and we are done.


of course I will be sweet.

How do I be sweet to her..I want to treat her like a queen..but I dont want to let my guard down and be afc..how do I compromise..so I can make this work...weve been dating for 3 weeks..and have been together for 2...its a great thing we have...she thinks Im wonderful..obvously or she wouldnt still be here.

give me soem advice Gentlemen?

thanks!

So you are dating your mother I see? Or at least that what it appears here. If you think you are being an a-hole and that does not sit well with your soul, because that is not the type of energy you want to emit then act differently, but if you don't think that then you are supplicating and her spirit will know this. You are just giving over your energy to her, when she should be giving hers to you.

So the first thing you need to do is see if she has a point, or if she is just testing you to see if you are a real man. If she is testing you, then you need to Man-Up and let your soul be what it is. If she is right then you simply need to focus on being positive instead of sending out negative energy.

Follow "your" instints, not hers.

 

[frivolousz21]

yunghova-to be honest..I dont really know..because after I got to sosuave..I jumped into a bootcamp...and got good at getting the women I wanted..and I stopped learning more.


royal elite-that is great advice. I personally think..she is trying to do 2 things...1. get more control...if she can..2. really see if I am a jerk.


but I have to be honest..I did give off a vibe I didnt want to.

if she called me and said what do u want..like i meant nothing to her..I Would of said nothing Bitc* and hungup.

so im going to do what my gut says..and that says to omit positive energy....I get into small moods..for minutes or hours at a time..where I am not the natural charming man I am.

does that make any sense?

any thing u can tell me to get rid of those stale times for me?

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
yunghova-to be honest..I dont really know..because after I got to sosuave..I jumped into a bootcamp...and got good at getting the women I wanted..and I stopped learning more.


royal elite-that is great advice. I personally think..she is trying to do 2 things...1. get more control...if she can..2. really see if I am a jerk.


but I have to be honest..I did give off a vibe I didnt want to.

if she called me and said what do u want..like i meant nothing to her..I Would of said nothing Bitc* and hungup.

so im going to do what my gut says..and that says to omit positive energy....I get into small moods..for minutes or hours at a time..where I am not the natural charming man I am.

does that make any sense?

any thing u can tell me to get rid of those stale times for me?

Yes remember life isnt war you were put here to be happy and so was everybody else. Focus on that in your life, and realising anybody else in your life deserves the same thing. Life is about the pursuit of happiness, and nothing else.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
'no guy would ever be in her presence after saying what I said.'

Congratulations, you're seeing a girl that thinks she might be able to respect you. Now don't drop the ball. This 'sweetness' request is a standard sh!t test that you need to pass. If you go sweet on her you're done - this is a test, you've got her guessing as to whether you're confident or the 'Jerk' was an act. That's not to say to go out of your way to be an A-Hole, but definitely do not wuss out and give her what she's expecting.

 

[frivolousz21]

Congratulations, you're seeing a girl that thinks she might be able to respect you. Now don't drop the ball. This 'sweetness' request is a standard sh!t test that you need to pass. If you go sweet on her you're done - this is a test, you've got her guessing as to whether you're confident or the 'Jerk' was an act. That's not to say to go out of your way to be an A-Hole, but definitely do not wuss out and give her what she's expecting.

good advice..1 thing I cant go "sweet" its not in me. to be that kind of sweet.

I will just be the man I have been..and not a be a jerk.

and things should be all good..and if she doesnt want that..then she can move on..Im not going to sit and play games with her.

but at the same time I will admit I was a jerk.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
I will admit I was a jerk.

Which is obviously what she's responding to. No shame there. Keep the Jerk energy going - dont put on the wife-beater of course, but imply by your actions that you're confident enough to wear the Jerk badge she's testing you with.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by frivolousz21


but at the same time I will admit I was a jerk.

And so has almost everyone else on this board at one time or another. Life is about learning and evolving to your soul's fullest potential.

The wise man isn't the one who nevers makes mistakes it's the one that admits them and change.

 

[The Rev]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
How do I be sweet to her..I want to treat her like a queen..but I dont want to let my guard down and be afc

Hey frivolous21,

These statements right here have an logical inconsistency. Can you find it?

 

[frivolousz21]

no!

I guess im not that smart...

this **** sucks...I got so good at being the DJ in getting the girl..but I dont know what to do..to maintian what I got..but Im going to to take it easy..trreat her like she deserves..while treating myself like I deserve

 

[Reach]

Don't admit you were a jerk. Just say "Get used to me that way, I do it a lot. I've been seeing you ten minutes and you're already trying to change me!"

 

[frivolousz21]

Don't admit you were a jerk. Just say "Get used to me that way, I do it a lot. I've been seeing you ten minutes and you're already trying to change me!"

i dont see how that helps

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
i dont see how that helps

Because it isn't. You see what happens when you follow your "gut" you can identify things really quickly, the good and the not so good.

 

[Reach]

That's the problem.

The point is you haven't really done anything wrong. Just tell her not to take you too seriously and that she shouldn't interpret your comments so negatively. Have you slept with her yet?

 

[frivolousz21]

we have had sex 3 times.

she told me that she thinks we will fall in love.

she said:

1. kissing you was amazing

2. the sex with you was amazing

3. you personality is amazing


Im not worried about this.

this really has nothing to do with her.

she is locked in.

I want to be good to her..I dont want to BE A JERK!

I have ZERO INTENTIONS OF BEING A JERK!

I want to convey to her how I feel and have a grreat time with her everytime..and not be AFC about it.



ps. she is moving into an APT....this weekend...and its close to my house..we will be there alot..I was thinking of getting her a fleece blanket..like the 10 to 15 buck ones at Walmart..for a gift.

wat do u think?

 

[00Kevin]

girls say things without thinking about them. just ignore the jerk comment.

Always react to what a girl DOES and not what a girl SAYS.

Her actions are all that you should be worried about.

 

[frivolousz21]

girls say things without thinking about them. just ignore the jerk comment.

Kevin..very true! even when she was "mad" at me..she layed with me..got hot and heavy with me..we talked and laughed all night..the next day she told me that statement..

interesting..her actions show she is very attached to me!

still I want to be a MAN here!

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
Kevin..very true! even when she was "mad" at me..she layed with me..got hot and heavy with me..we talked and laughed all night..the next day she told me that statement..

interesting..her actions show she is very attached to me!

still I want to be a MAN here!

All I'm saying is that a man only gets mad at woman for what she does.
This isn't to say that a womans words should be ignored in all cases. There are sometimes when her words can be disrespectfull. For example, if she disrespects you infront of other people and shoots her mouth off then you can get pissed at her.

If she continues to call you a jerk then you have to shut her up. When a woman complains too much about you there is no other option but to demand respect from her. You have to tell her to take that remark back and show some respect.

The solution isn't to go out and prove her wrong. The solution is to ignore her or demand respect if she goes to far with it.

I'd say that you have a good thing going with her. Show your appreciation for her in your own way and on your own time. Only do it if you feel like it and not because she calls you a jerk.

You also have a great weapon now. If she wants to go out with you or do something that you don't feel like doing then just say, "I'm not interest in going out with a woman who considers me a jerk. When you change your mind about that give me a call" but only say that if she goes too far with it. The fact that her disrespect pisses you off should be enough to tell her how you feel about her. She will clue in.

one other thing.. You are "The MAN" you don't have to try to be "The Man".

 

[00Kevin]

here is a tip

don't listen to a woman until she says it the third time.


this is true for number closes as well. you didn't hear her the first two times she said "No"