My girl says she loves me!

[Nicholas Hill]

This being my first real girlfriend, I have not heard anyone say this to me in the romantic sense. I don't really know what love feels like but I do know that I am always cautious - every time I "thought" I loved someone and told them, I lost the girl.

I don't really know what my question is but as you can all tell, I'm not sure what to think of it all. I think its amazing theres someone on the planet who fancies the pants off me and adores me, and she's almost everything I can want (thoughtful, sexy, slim body, amazing gentleness, volumes of social confidence...etc). We've been in a relationship for 7 weeks now.

I once said to myself following my mistakes of the past that I would never tell a girl I loved her before 3 months (12 weeks).

What are your takes on this, guys?

Thanks,
Nick

 

[Nightspark]

whoa seven weeks... took my gf almost 3 months to say it to me and i said it a week before her...

yeah i was like u dude... used to say that word too often and sent the women running for the hills.. i guess we learn from experiances... then i told myself to never say it again unlesss we've been going out for three months or more...

ive said it so many times and i only got one i love you back, and that was from my first gf... by the looks of it i'll probably wont say it as often...

i remember having a convo with my gf (well soon be EX in about 2 nights) and she was complaning that there are way too many variations of the word love and it's hard to tell if it's real love or psuedo-love or something like "oh i love you" which ive been hearing her say to her own friends... problem is chicks tend to throw that word around, but ppl will know if it's real or just a four letter word.... maybe they cant distinguish between like and love since there isnt a word (i think) in between....


basically dude take it easy... and just keep on your toes

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Congrats bro..... being loved, and knowing true love is a great thing.... I was married for 12 years, and thought I knew what love was. It wasn't until I met my current gf, that I learned what it was.... to never have to question the love, to never be concerned that the love is there, and that it wasn't going anywhere, to be assured of the love, is the most incredible feeling.

EXAMPLE: She's a very attractive woman.... we were going thru a Beer & Wine Drive Thru.... she's driving ahead of me in her car, I'm behind her... I see the guy working come up and start talking to her... I see him write down his number, and give it to her.... then he gets her stuff, they chit chat a little mroe, and she starts to drive off. He walks towards me, I'm ready to give him a fist in his mouth when I see my gf, throw out the number he just gave her. ....that's love...... when we can be in a club, with friends, and I am not the best looking guy there (Yes, it has happend) and she doesn't ever look towards anyone else better... that's love.... to nev4er have to worry about jealousy.... to know that she is attracted to you, and no one else. Great feeling.

 

[JohnJones]

I think this means you have the luxury of telling her (if you choose to) when you really do feel it, without regard to how she'll react, since you already know basically where she stands. As to the timing, I guess I think 7 weeks is a little fast but what do I know about your situation.

I will note that for a lot of girls "I love you" means "keep doing what you are doing and at some point in the future I know I'll be crazy about you."

InLaws: Wow, I like that story. My very, very jealous g/f and I were out NYE and she came back to the table with a round of drinks and related that the bar was so crowded she had to call the bartender over by saying "Hey cute bartender." She apparently also agreed to kiss him on the cheek as part of the beer sale. How would you react to that?

 

[Longview]

you wanna next that ho!!

Just kidding m8, mmmmm just enjoy the moment while it lasts

 

[reza]

I am i The same situation

In her New year Card She said that she loves Me And Asked if i feel the same and i said i dont know . But after that she wasnt acting as always and i felt like i have to say it back to get things to normal but i didnt .
now 2 days have passed and i was planning to buy a flower and go by her house and tell her that i love her too (i havnt bought any flowers in this realation ship yet), and i dont realy know how i feel , i love her or not
we have been in this relationship for 4 months now
i dont know if i should go or not or by not saying i love you back what her reactions would be

 

[reza]

Any advise ..................

 

[Grey Fox]

Wait about a week, cause she'll be wanting to hear it soon. Be chill and judge how is reacts to your not returning the words. If she gets all antsy about it that might be a problem because she is just looking to hear the words. If she is still happy to be around you without you uttering those words then thats a good thing. You should not have to say "I Love you" too her, not at first. You should show her that you love her in the things you do with her. If you get to that three month point, take her out for a very nice dinner and when the time is right tell her how you feel. Just be sure to guard your heart.

-Grey Fox

 

[Austin Allegro]

NEXT!

...oh sorry - force of habit!

It depends on how often you're seeing her, but I'd say under three months is way too soon to be thinking about love. Love is such a strong and powerful thing (not to be confused with infatuation) that can last a lifetime, so it's not something you can rush.

Am i right in thinking you're at Uni, Mr Hill? From my experience at lot of people at uni think they're in love because the whole process of courtship is speeded up (ie you see them nearly every day, you have friends in common, etc.).

Real love takes a bit longer to develop. I'd hold off for a while and perhaps hint you are feeling more strongly towards her, but leave off the L word for at least a few more weeks. You're 20 so don't rush into anything. A girl is unlikely to lose interest if you don't say you love her.

 

[drixsa]

well its nice and all that you are flattered but the fact of the matter is that she really doesn't love you

obviously she likes you and cares for you, or atleast thinks that she does

though it is interesting when i think back to the AFC days b/c though i never told a girl that i loved her, i thought that i really cared for her when even though looking back i didn't really care for her all that much i wanted to fill an emptiness in my life.

so its nice and all that she said this but in my opinion actions speak louder than words.

being that this is your 1st G-F you are obviously doing a good job.

just some things to think about though

 

[drZaius09]

The REAL problem is the fact that you love her, not the verbalization of that fact. So instead of asking how, when, and where should I tell her, you should be asking why do I even feel this way to begin with. Treat the disease, not the symptoms.

 

[Walden]

F*** Ten Other Women.

(I mean really , how can that be bad advice)


Congrats you sound really happy. if you feel it , then say it.And good for you.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by InLawsHateMe
Congrats bro..... being loved, and knowing true love is a great thing.... I was married for 12 years, and thought I knew what love was. It wasn't until I met my current gf, that I learned what it was.... to never have to question the love, to never be concerned that the love is there, and that it wasn't going anywhere, to be assured of the love, is the most incredible feeling.

EXAMPLE: She's a very attractive woman.... we were going thru a Beer & Wine Drive Thru.... she's driving ahead of me in her car, I'm behind her... I see the guy working come up and start talking to her... I see him write down his number, and give it to her.... then he gets her stuff, they chit chat a little mroe, and she starts to drive off. He walks towards me, I'm ready to give him a fist in his mouth when I see my gf, throw out the number he just gave her. ....that's love...... when we can be in a club, with friends, and I am not the best looking guy there (Yes, it has happend) and she doesn't ever look towards anyone else better... that's love.... to nev4er have to worry about jealousy.... to know that she is attracted to you, and no one else. Great feeling.

Yep, thats for sure InLaws. When you know the love is unconditional, a bit like a dog I suppose, that is real love. However this is VERY hard to find in a woman. As most seem to NEVER be content with what they have, I guess this is just a human attribute.

As for you Nick, after only 7 weeks, thats great mate, sounds like you've got a winner, but you have a LONG LONG road ahead of you, wait until that "in love" stage wears off, then you will see if you can find TRUE LOVE.

Good luck to u champ.

 

[The Dominated1]

That "Love" is for today - enjoy it "today"

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Every ho i been with said those 3 magic words - my response was "don't tell me you love me - show me! - love is not a word, it is an action". Then ask her if she ever said that to another guy - the answer will be "yes" or she is probably lying. If she never said that to a guy then this is something serious to ponder and just say "it takes me a long time to feel comfortable with someone, when i'm at that point with you then i'll let you know".

If she is giving up the booty then this is when it stops and she'll say "I don't want to have sex any more until you say you love me' (you just made her feel like the wh@re that she is).... and let the pVssy games begin.......don't be a chump and say "ok, i love you" -- be a man and say i don't play pvssy games and just leave!! You could then ask her "Why did you give me your tw@t the first week that you knew me". If she is honest she would say "i am a wh@re and i have always given my pvssy to other
guys in the first few weeks because i want to feel "it" inside me."

If she is a liar she would say, "I always loved you ever since we first met". Thus you just joined the ranks of the other 17 chumps that laid her.


never tell a girl you love her first -- PERIOD!!!!!! And never say it at 7 weeks into a lust affair - test her and study her for at least 8 months and see if she is worthy of such praise - i take it marriage comes after this.

 

[AmgineEX]

I love you.

Where's the cash?

 

[dietzcoi]

PRL is making some sense here...

Be careful, I hate to see young guys step into the bear trap like I did when I was that age...

Dietzcoi

 

[( . )( . )]

well like i said once before, a chick telling you she loves you holds the exact weight and emotional connection as her saying "ive been busting for a sh!t all day, do you mind if i use your toilet?"

in otherwords it means NOTHING, its just how chicks minds work and how they differ from ours, having said that though, Ive absolutely NO doubt in my mind that she means it in those few seconds she said it, BUT doesnt change the fact she can be up to her guts in another guys nuts in less than an hour of her saying it.

i know i know, sadly to us men its sounds like shes a cruel , heartless b!tch because of this FACT, but this is not true its just the difference between logic/emotion, man/woman.

 

[Crusader]

Congratz, Nicholas. I hope everything works out.

 

[Phonenix DJ]

You don't have do tell her

THat's true. Although you like her and she likes you, you must keep being a challenge.
Once you demonstrate your love, It's not necessary to tell you lover, not at all.

YOu must avoid demostrating to much affection to this girl, even if you'd "give up you're life" for her.