MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 21, 2004
- Messages
- 1,889
- Reaction score
- 12
This is one of those moments where you have to listen to your instinct. I don't know your gf, I don't know what kind of character she has. Out of all the things I read in this thread, I agree with JT/AsianPlayboy the most, but even he doesn't know your situation.
What you have to do here is analyze how you feel right now. Are you happy in this relationship? Obviously you have an issue with the distance that isn't gonna go away. Secondly, the horny when drunk is a huge red flag in any book. Do you really want a girlfriend that's got a weakness any guy with cash to spend can exploit at the right place, right time? Look man, there are two kinds of girls in this world. Those who you just hook up with and have sex with but never take it past that point, and those who actually make decent respectable girlfriends. Don't waste your time being in relationships with the first type.
The way I see it, you have three options here.
1.) Put up with it, and ignore it even tho it makes you miserable.
2.) Stay with her, start seeing other women on the side, and stop thinking about this sh!t.
otherwise...
3.) Sit her down, and have a serious talk. Relationships are built on communication, if you can't communicate it to her when sh!t ain't right, you're not really moving forward.
You obviously care a lot about the girl if you're willing to be in a LDR, tell her all that sh!t you just told us. You obviously don't like her drinking habits, tell her look, you want to see this work (do you?), and are willing to work through the distance, but the drinking habits are a red flag that's driving you away. If she wants to live that wild party and booze life, you're not the guy to do it with.
If you really don't like how this relationship is right now, then why keep it to yourself? Out of the fear of looking insecure? F*ck that. You're a guy. If sh!t bothers you, don't put up with it. Being passive about it, and ignoring it will just make it reoccur.
Let her know how it is, and if it doesn't work out, then you dodged a bullet. As for her telling her mom how she sees you as something big in the future *snaps fingers* hello? Stop living in the future. Focus on the now.
I'm not saying leave her, but definetly tell her what's on your mind, and if she can't respect that, then she's not the one for you man. Only do this however, if you are willing to go all the way. If she says "ok I understand how you feel, I'm sorry that there isn't anything I can say for you to have faith in me", DON'T BACK DOWN and say "look I still want this to work" and try to save the relationship. It's already dead! If she says that, the only thing you can say is "I'm sorry too" and move on.
If she is not willing to change a worthless thing such as her drinking lifestyle to make this relationship work, don't turn your back on your principles. Cause then she will see you that this whole talk was a "mock breakup" designed to scare her and manipulate her, and then she will dump your ass and f*ck another guy. Stick to your principles, and eventually she will second guess herself and ring you and be the one who tries to make it work. If she doesn't, then it's her loss. You obviously weren't happy, and now you're free to meet other girls and find someone who'll be a better gf. You don't have to buy the first house that's on sale.
Like I said, only go with #3 if you're prepared for the worst. If you're not, then stick with #2.
What you have to do here is analyze how you feel right now. Are you happy in this relationship? Obviously you have an issue with the distance that isn't gonna go away. Secondly, the horny when drunk is a huge red flag in any book. Do you really want a girlfriend that's got a weakness any guy with cash to spend can exploit at the right place, right time? Look man, there are two kinds of girls in this world. Those who you just hook up with and have sex with but never take it past that point, and those who actually make decent respectable girlfriends. Don't waste your time being in relationships with the first type.
The way I see it, you have three options here.
1.) Put up with it, and ignore it even tho it makes you miserable.
2.) Stay with her, start seeing other women on the side, and stop thinking about this sh!t.
otherwise...
3.) Sit her down, and have a serious talk. Relationships are built on communication, if you can't communicate it to her when sh!t ain't right, you're not really moving forward.
You obviously care a lot about the girl if you're willing to be in a LDR, tell her all that sh!t you just told us. You obviously don't like her drinking habits, tell her look, you want to see this work (do you?), and are willing to work through the distance, but the drinking habits are a red flag that's driving you away. If she wants to live that wild party and booze life, you're not the guy to do it with.
If you really don't like how this relationship is right now, then why keep it to yourself? Out of the fear of looking insecure? F*ck that. You're a guy. If sh!t bothers you, don't put up with it. Being passive about it, and ignoring it will just make it reoccur.
Let her know how it is, and if it doesn't work out, then you dodged a bullet. As for her telling her mom how she sees you as something big in the future *snaps fingers* hello? Stop living in the future. Focus on the now.
I'm not saying leave her, but definetly tell her what's on your mind, and if she can't respect that, then she's not the one for you man. Only do this however, if you are willing to go all the way. If she says "ok I understand how you feel, I'm sorry that there isn't anything I can say for you to have faith in me", DON'T BACK DOWN and say "look I still want this to work" and try to save the relationship. It's already dead! If she says that, the only thing you can say is "I'm sorry too" and move on.
If she is not willing to change a worthless thing such as her drinking lifestyle to make this relationship work, don't turn your back on your principles. Cause then she will see you that this whole talk was a "mock breakup" designed to scare her and manipulate her, and then she will dump your ass and f*ck another guy. Stick to your principles, and eventually she will second guess herself and ring you and be the one who tries to make it work. If she doesn't, then it's her loss. You obviously weren't happy, and now you're free to meet other girls and find someone who'll be a better gf. You don't have to buy the first house that's on sale.
Like I said, only go with #3 if you're prepared for the worst. If you're not, then stick with #2.
Best thing to do is not worry about it and get all insecure, because your worrying is stemming from insecurity. In fact if you weren't that insecure you never would have asked the question. Best thing to say is "Baby, if you get piss drunk and fcuk some other dude, I want pictures. I know you have a good taste in men