My GF now complaints of my flirtatious behavior... Any suggestions?

[amoka]

The girl I have been seeing about two months now starts to complaint about my flirtatious behavior. Before we started dating, she noticed I have the tendency of talking to more women and sometimes getting their numbers, although try never to get another girl's number while she is around. I asked her repeatedly whether the way of talking to women disturbed her to which she responded: "Not really.... if it disturbs me, I'll let you know." She is the kind of person that will say anything that disturbs her so I thought, well if it indeed bothers her, she'll let me know. Now things get worse, somehow fell sorry for her. Whenever we are walking down the street and another lady passes by, I find myself opening up a conversation with her. Now, because of my DJ style, the conversation often turns to my DJ-like- style, which makes my gf mad. I know, I'll be angry to if she attempt talking to other guys in front of me the way I talk to other ladies in front of her.

Now things are out of hand. She started complaining more often than before that indeed the way I talk to the ladies in front of her do trouble her. I'm in a quagmire here.... do you all find yourself talking to other women while your gf or wife are around. Does she get angry when you do that....?

 

[stevey_2000]

well done mate in not allowing a gf to stop your dj ways...

i suppose if you don't touch then you'll be ok but i have got the 'like it or lump it' attitude, if they don't like it, then they will have to do one but most women deep inside love it that they are with the man with confidence to do it!

keep it up

 

[Bonhomme]

I know, I'll be angry to if she attempt talking to other guys in front of me the way I talk to other ladies in front of her.

That ain't good.

Don't say anything to to her about it, but I think it's a good idea not to blatantly hit on other gals when she's with you. That's not being "DJ," it's just being disrespectful. Talking with them and being upbeat and friendly is one thing; out-and-out hitting on them is something else altogether, if you catch my drift.

If they flirt with you, all the more power to you. It does up a gals attraction to know other gals like you, but if it's already crystal clear, you need not "rub it in her face."

 

[squirrels]

There's nothing wrong with being a little flirtatious...if for no other reason than to let her know she COULD be replaced, should she no longer interest you. But you kinda need to treat a line between the signals of "I could" and "I will".

 

[Vulpine]

Somehow you must be going over the top with the women interaction.

One of my plates actually complimented me: "I really enjoy the fact that you have social skills. You mingle and meet new people when we go out instead of hanging all over me like other guys."

Perhaps the trick is to throw in a guy or two just so it seems even and your interactions can be written off as "being social" versus macking.

Balance. I've caught myself being "all about women", and at the time the repsonse from the woman I was with was similar.

 

[amoka]

Somehow you must be going over the top with the women interaction.

This might be true to a degree.

One of my plates actually complimented me: "I really enjoy the fact that you have social skills. You mingle and meet new people when we go out instead of hanging all over me like other guys."

Well, she did complimented me on this first few times of our date. She infact took me to her department once simply to proof to her colleagues how outgoing I was. All her colleagues were surprised by my charming outgoing abilities.

Perhaps the trick is to throw in a guy or two just so it seems even and your interactions can be written off as "being social" versus macking.

Lately, I have been doing just that. Then she said, " yeah, you're talking to guys now because I said you ONLY talk to the ladies, right?"

Balance. I've caught myself being "all about women", and at the time the repsonse from the woman I was with was similar.

My solution is to probably take a break from dating.....

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Now matter how charismatic and flirty you are with women, when you're dating someone you need to flirt with them most.

 

[drmeathead]

every week you post on here about her...dump her. you sound miserable

 

[Mindtrust]

If you are number closing or charming women infront of your date of 2 months, this is not outgoing or djing skills, this is seriously taking the p#'s lol!!

I would be outgoing and sociable when you are out together, that will get you respect from your date, but leave it at that..

Save the flirting, charming and number closing for when she is never around..

No decent women would put up with there date flirting and number closing.

Mindtrust

 

[STR8UP]

Now matter how charismatic and flirty you are with women, when you're dating someone you need to flirt with them most.

Funny you should mention that, cause I kinda got "called out" the other day for not having been attentive enough (I guess???) with the last chick I was seeing. You know, the quasi fukk buddy?

I got into a convo with her best friend the other night and somehow the convo lead to me asking her why chicks get so catty and jealous all the time over nothing. I was just baiting her into a debate that no one was going to win, but she basically said just what you did- when you are "with" someone you should be paying enough attention to that person, whatever that means, and she was talking about me talking to other chicks when I was out in a social setting with the girl I was seeing.

The fukked up thing about it is that I believe 100% that I wasn't doing ANYTHING improper, even if the chick was my wife, let alone someone I wouldn't even call my girlfriend. I wouldn't even consider it flirting. Just hanging with my friends! Might have also had something to do with the fact that some of these other chicks also have a thing for me or that she simply perceived them to. Either way she flew off the handle a couple of times but both times called me apologizing profusely the next day.

That's RIGHT beeyotch!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Here's the thing, if you do it the right way you can give your #1 girl the social proof that she secretly craves while you still establish yourself as a DJ with various women, including her friends!

 

[STR8UP]

Here's the thing, if you do it the right way you can give your #1 girl the social proof that she secretly craves while you still establish yourself as a DJ with various women, including her friends!

Never thought of it that way, but if a woman derives her sense of self from her man, it would make sense that she would be upset at you when you engage other women. I always just thought of it as the chick being jealous, but I suppose it goes beyond that. She is asserting her social domination over OTHER WOMEN...now I get it.

Guess I need to work on this skill if I am ever going to get involved with anyone. She would probably be MUCH less inclined to be upset if OTHER people did not witness it. Show her some love in public, play footsie with the other chicks under the table out of public view.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Never thought of it that way, but if a woman derives her sense of self from her man, it would make sense that she would be upset at you when you engage other women. I always just thought of it as the chick being jealous, but I suppose it goes beyond that. She is asserting her social domination over OTHER WOMEN...now I get it.

Very good grasshopper!

Being able to raise your woman's status in the eyes of her peers without her having to do anything but be in your presence raises your value to her exponentially. However, don't allow her to take advantage of this without her putting something on the table. This service should only be available to her if she consistently demonstrates her value to you.

 

[Mindtrust]

Very good grasshopper!

Being able to raise your woman's status in the eyes of her peers without her having to do anything but be in your presence raises your value to her exponentially. However, don't allow her to take advantage of this without her putting something on the table. This service should only be available to her if she consistently demonstrates her value to you.

Really good info...

Any thoughts on how you could actually raise her status? By this i mean actions doing... ie Making her feel wanted and important to you..

This seems excellent stuff to know... Excellent topic.

Mindtrust

 

[afrojiggles]

if she isnt satisfied about ur commitment to her then dump her softly....as we'd hate to have a stalker and worse still one who demands u dont flirt as a way of courtesy....

 

[Vulpine]

I know what it is... the "balance" I mentioned before.

Let's say you're across the room from your woman talking to another woman. We know women are "aware", and she is going to be looking. Well, every once in a while, shoot a glance her way. You will lock eyes and she'll give you "the look". Blow her a kiss, wink, lick your lips at her, whatever, just give her a little attention from across the room. "Balance" the attention. This lets her off the hook and eases her mind. Like the little bit of attention, while in front of another woman, assures her that you are in her thoughts.

*Erhem*

Just be sure to play the little "I see you, Baby." games while the chick you're talking to isn't paying attention.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I know what it is... the "balance" I mentioned before.

Let's say you're across the room from your woman talking to another woman. We know women are "aware", and she is going to be looking. Well, every once in a while, shoot a glance her way. You will lock eyes and she'll give you "the look". Blow her a kiss, wink, lick your lips at her, whatever, just give her a little attention from across the room. "Balance" the attention. This lets her off the hook and eases her mind. Like the little bit of attention, while in front of another woman, assures her that you are in her thoughts.

*Erhem*

Just be sure to play the little "I see you, Baby." games while the chick you're talking to isn't paying attention.

Very good example. I would suggest topping it off by sometime later during the party when she joins your conversation (and she will, women are just curious cats that have learned how to walk upright), grab her and tell her what you were discussing. Yes, I mean actually telling her what complements (filtered of course) you were paying to her friends.

After which you pay her an even bigger complement in front of her friends followed by some sort of kino which alludes to sexual intimacy. You will gain points in her friends eyes, she will gain points in her friends eyes and you will gain points in her eyes. You end up with more points in the game!

Get where I'm coming from Mindtrust?

 

[Vypros]

Do you have no self-control?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Do you have no self-control?

Of course not! Everyone should share the goodness which is Francisco!

 

[Vypros]

Of course not! Everyone should share the goodness which is Francisco!

lol

That's all gravy and all, but you shouldn't be sharing that goodness while your girl is standing right there. Threadstarter is a glutton for punishment, apparently. lol