My Gf is obsessed with traveling, how do I handle this

[CornbreadFed]

Everything is great, she is feminine, submissive, responsible personally and fiscally, but this girl has that millennial travel addiction that I am worried about. Since I have met her, we have been on 4 vacations- 2 out of the country, and she is talking about going to Asia in the fall, visiting national parks in the summer, and Hawaii within the next 2 months. The issue is

1). Our PTO plans do not align with each other because she has one of those jobs where she works a lot but gets like a lot of PTO vs I get the standard 2 weeks, earn an additional with each paycheck.

2). I am down to travel, but I am trying to save money for a business or whatever later down the future. I have started to let her know that I do not want to work for a paycheck the rest of my life and with the current trajectory of the future of the western world in general, we need to start get out of the rat race.

It is either let her know that I won’t be going on every single trip and she can deal with it or something else lol.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I love traveling but I tend to avoid women that are travel addicts, they come with a lot of personal issues and will cause you a lot of headaches.
If she really is a travel freak, she will go without you and who know what is going to happen abroad.
But if she just a girl who like to travel to show off on Instagram, if you set your boundaries about her traveling she will submit as it's not really a passion or a lifestyle.

If she prefers to travel than to be with you, you know what to do.

She’s never been anywhere without me. She mainly does it to show off on instagram and a cope because she never got to travel any where as a kid.

 

[Gamisch]

Typical year 20someting type of relationship.

The rational one ( the man) has plenty of reason to slow down on the big expenses. But women don't necessarily live for tomorrow, rather for today.

You gotta seriously wonder if you are really compatible with your partner. The perfect test would be simple and plain honesty. Imagine telling her what you wrote here. How will she react to this? Will she throw a fit ? Or will she understand you? And i am not talking about what she could or would possibly do when she travels solo. I am soley talking on behalf of your wallet.

You are basically forced to spend money on things you don't really want to spend it on. That's akin to straight up abuse, but you're a grown azz man voluntary agreeing with it all..

Whats more important to her? Traveling or a reliable partner? Again the truth is waiting to be told, you just gotta ask

 

[The Duke]

Tell her you are all about it, but have other financial interests you are planning for. Your financial future is important.

In 10 years she will be broke and have to find a beta provider. You don't want to be that guy.

Women rarely make smart financial decisions. They are too emotional and live in the moment.
If she can't respect your wishes then she isn't that good of a girlfriend.

She can go without you, or pay your way. Or find a new guy.

 

[CornbreadFed]

The other issue is that she has everything already, so traveling doesn’t hurt her as much and is better off than me. She went to college on a paid scholarship, got a stable STEM Career, bought a house, and is just living life. I didn’t have a scholarship, majored in business, and took me 6 years to get a job that pays well after making borderline minimum wage. I don’t want to come out as selfish or inferior by telling her that I am trying to better my financial future if that makes sense?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Easy: Travel with her when it is financially responsible for you. And let her travel by herself when it is not.

Relationships are not about limiting either side. She can't limit you on your financial goals with her passion for travel and you can't limit her on experiencing the world with your financial goals.

Unlike many members here, I am all for travel. Not sure why men are against women (or people in general) with an itch for exploring the world. I think it's one of the best personal growth investments you can make on yourself. It's called expanding your perspective on reality, humanity, and ultimately yourself.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Perhaps your life goals don't align. This will become a major problem the longer into the relationship you get and will likely cause unfixable problems eventually.

Long term relationships not only require love and attraction, they require alignment on life goals, both short and long term. People too often try to make things work thinking alignment on these aren't important, or things will change, but they are extremely important and usually do not, only grow farther apart over time as one or both stop wanting to constantly compromise to make things work.

This is what happens when suddenly one day a person comes to the realization that is just isn't going to work no matter how much they love or want to be with someone and they break up with them suddenly it seems. It wasn't sudden, it just took them a long time to process their life goals would never match up with each other and there was simply no way around it, try as much as they might to find a way.

Not saying to break up with her, but also not saying think this is just a phase she will grow out of either. If this is who she is and that's not OK with you, then you have little choice other than walking away eventually. You aren't going to change her, nor should you want to. Have to allow someone to be who they are.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Easy: Travel with her when it is financially responsible for you. And let her travel by herself when it is not.

Relationships are not about limiting either side. She can't limit you on your financial goals with her passion for travel and you can't limit her on experiencing the world with your financial goals.

Unlike many members here, I am all for travel. Not sure why men are against women (or people in general) with an itch for exploring the world. I think it's one of the best personal growth investments you can make on yourself. It's called expanding your perspective on reality, humanity, and ultimately yourself.

Yeah I am all for traveling too, but I feel like it can be excessive. Even my well off friends do like maybe two trips a year lol.

That's the issue, you feel inferior cause she has all of that and you don't, also she can do all of that and you can't. The issue is not her, its you bro.

I make more money than her, but I want to start my own business later down the road. Could I go on a trip once a month…Yes, do I want to…No. Y’all also do not realize how bad travel fatigue is and I am also in sales, so I have to worry about fvcking quotas and shvt lol.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I love traveling but I tend to avoid women that are travel addicts, they come with a lot of personal issues and will cause you a lot of headaches.
If she really is a travel freak, she will go without you and who know what is going to happen abroad.
But if she just a girl who like to travel to show off on Instagram, if you set your boundaries about her traveling she will submit as it's not really a passion or a lifestyle.

If she prefers to travel than to be with you, you know what to do.

Had just the opposite. I love to travel & had a GF who told me; ‘I hate to travel’. She’s an ex- But not because of this reason.

 

[Murk]

I sacrificed most of my life living paycheck to paycheck until I struck gold and started my own business. Your financial stability is tied to who you are as a man and the stress (or lack thereof) for the rest of your life.

I passed on many good women in my 20s to focus, I knew deep down I wasn't where I needed to be in life. You really need to stick to your goals/plan, women come and go. Financial stability is the most important thing you can achieve.

 

[RangerMIke]

Traveling is not relaxing, it is stressful. My idea of a vacation isn't stressing myself out on planes and fighting with hotels... it is going into the mountains camping with a bag full of books with no phones of computers.

Don't date a travel addict. First it never fvcking ends... you are always trying to up your game. It's expensive and when you get back from 'vacation' you will need time off to recover.

 

[Murk]

To be honest, I find people who make traveling a priority in their life to be immature and most of the time "damaged"/unstable in some way, especially women. I've travelled enough to realize that one doesn't gain THAT much while traveling: some fun anecdotes and some memories that will fade away. Most people travel for 1-3 weeks, rent a cosy airbnb in a trendy area, go to museums, tourist places and restaurants and bars, and of course post on instagram - no life changing experiences here + a few thousands $ in debt.
Living abroad is the real thing though, you learn new languages, live like the locals, discover new cultures and discover more about yourself.

I'm not against traveling, I plan to keep traveling, but to places for which I have a real interest, traveling just for the sake of traveling doesn't make sense to me. People that are constantly traveling are looking for something they will never find, they are never satisfied with anything.

For a lot of people (me included) it's something to look forward to. To break up the monotony of life. You get the date in the diary, the next month/s are more bearable.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Traveling is not relaxing, it is stressful. My idea of a vacation isn't stressing myself out on planes and fighting with hotels... it is going into the mountains camping with a bag full of books with no phones of computers.

Don't date a travel addict. First it never fvcking ends... you are always trying to up your game. It's expensive and when you get back from 'vacation' you will need time off to recover.

Not stressful when it's properly planned out. Unfortunately most people don't plan stuff that needs to be planned then freak out in the moment when they realized they needed a plan but don't have one.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

To be honest, I find people who make traveling a priority in their life to be immature and most of the time "damaged"/unstable in some way, especially women. I've travelled enough to realize that one doesn't gain THAT much while traveling: some fun anecdotes and some memories that will fade away. Most people travel for 1-3 weeks, rent a cosy airbnb in a trendy area, go to museums, tourist places and restaurants and bars, and of course post on instagram - no life changing experiences here + a few thousands $ in debt.
Living abroad is the real thing though, you learn new languages, live like the locals, discover new cultures and discover more about yourself.

I'm not against traveling, I plan to keep traveling, but to places for which I have a real interest, traveling just for the sake of traveling doesn't make sense to me. People that are constantly traveling are looking for something they will never find, they are never satisfied with anything.

I get that, and respect that. To travel for the clout is immature. Traveling to escape from "reality" is weak. Traveling for the anecdotes is unnecessary. Traveling without the financial means to do so is irresponsible. And traveling to stay in an all-inclusive resort or high-end hotel is for morons.

I have dated girls that share the same passion for traveling as me, but then again I have done so much of it to understand the motives and what someone is trying to get out of it. So in that sense, I get why men would deter from dating "those" women travelers.

 

[jaymbrs]

Dating one myself who is like this, OP. It’s very early for her and me but I am treading very lightly as I don’t want to get sucked into your situation.
I agree with the advice mentioning you talking to her about it straight up and how you have some financial plans you’d like to allocate your assets to. Her response will determine a lot going forward.

 

[devilkingx2]

The solution is compromise imo. Take a reasonable amount of trips per year and start with the nearby vacation spots. You don't need to fly across the world for a nice vacation. Las Vegas, Miami, New York, Los Angeles, Mexico, Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, etc. You can spend a weekend at those places.

It's good if she loves to travel, it means she's cultured. But it's not good if she wants to spend all your money or hers; it's not good if her only interest is proving she's rich to her Instagram followers;

It's okay if she travels without you, unless she's the type of girl that likes to get drunk on the beach and meet foreign men.

 

[Stanley]

I'm the guy with massive wanderlust who's probably going to go on a spree abroad soon, but if you can't afford it you can't afford it. In my case i'm transient as possible and have aspired to bounce around for a very long time, I don't make much, but i'm smart with it and have made connections to lighten the load.

If she is really into travelling and you cannot then you should have an open conversation about it.

If this is an LTR there is nothing wrong with saying it isn't a priority to you and you have other financial goals and aspirations which take precedence. I don't like your mention of 'inferiority'. Your worth is not based upon your income, but many men nowadays place their entire self worth on this one facet of life. It isn't wrong to tell the girl you assumedly love that you would struggle to remain afloat if you travelled to the extent that she wants to, it would be the truth.

Chat with her candidly about it, express your concerns, try to come to a compromise, better understand one another and continually assess your compatibility.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I'm the guy with massive wanderlust who's probably going to go on a spree abroad soon, but if you can't afford it you can't afford it

We went to California, Florida, Italy/France, South Africa/Zambia all within 8 months and she is bringing up Hawaii next month, 3 national parks this summer, and a trip to Asia or New Zealand in the fall. Regardless of income, this is excessive imho.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

The others are correct you need to sit down with her and set down some boundaries here. That much traveling is expensive for most anyone not to mention time consuming. If you are trying to start up a business your clients are going to be demanding a lot of your time to make that work. She needs to understand this.

Her initial reaction is going to tell you everything you need to know. If you get a lukewarm or worse, a hostile, response to telling her this, you have problems as far as the relationship is concerned. She has more interest in traveling than she does in you. If she is understanding, agrees to pump the breaks on the traveling at least temporarily, then you can work with that and know she is serious about your relationship.

I would have the conversation sooner than later. Because if she is the former category, you are just wasting time.

 

[Stanley]

We went to California, Florida, Italy/France, South Africa/Zambia all within 8 months and she is bringing up Hawaii next month, 3 national parks this summer, and a trip to Asia or New Zealand in the fall. Regardless of income, this is excessive imho.

Oh yeah after reading that I agree man!