MY GF is an AFC

[Cod3r]

Fellas,

I just realized that my girlfriend is about the biggest AFC i've ever met, male or female. It took me 9 months to realize but she has NO IDEA about the game or anything, she has had failed relationships in the past and has no idea why they ended, but its for the same reason, she smothers them and shows them how much she loves them non-stop, she's perfect with no game...

There is no excitement or very little in our relationship anymore, she's very happy to just see me. She calls when she says she's going to call, she does whatever I tell her to do, we have sex when I want, I mean I even creamed on her face while she was sleeping and she dosen't complain... She says she loves me so much I can do whatever I want and the fact is, I don't want to take advantage of her, she's probably one of the few actually genuine and trustworthy people in the world, she's truly unique...

The problem is she's never dated (not in Japanese cultute) and somehow she's never been taken advantage of by any guys, she will litteraly listen to whatever you say and believe it.. its actually scary... She dosen't realize that if you give somene too much they don't appreciate it, she dosen't realize that too much time spent together means annoyance, she just dosen't get it...

She's probably what alot of you are looking for in a girl. ABSOLUTELY NO GAMES, she dosen't even know what game is, but let me tell you it gets boring but I love her. What am I supposed to do ?? Seriously, this is complicated because I have deep deep feelings, but she just dosen't know how to act in a relationship, she's an AFC !!

She even asked me if it would be ok to date other guys to find out how to play the game (i ruled that out). I mean we're trying to figure out how to move forward, she's just too pure and well in my life, I play the game less but i still play it and still in the mindset that a little doubt is exciting and well i'm not at the point where NO GAMES is acceptable... that's too perfect for me

She has no American friends, she's never been touched by television, media, or anything, its actually amazing now that i've realized it. She's almost like a child who still believes theres a Xmas while everyone else knows its the parents putting the presents under the tree... I almost don't want to tell her 'baby there is no santa clause', I feel like a bad person, almost like I don't deserve her... like i'm corrupting her by telling her the way the real world is, but I feel like she needs to know because if we ever broke up, she'd be vunerable to alot of disgraceful people out there who would use her and just utterly destroy her... she's so frail and pure, wow, u guys have no idea

The way I look at it... I have 3 options

1. I just suck it up and let her keep being an AFC and just accept her for the way she is and live with the consequences....

2. Leave her, stay friends (to protect her) and move on with my life

3. Try to actively change her and introduce her to what I like to call 'the REAL WORLD' or what i'm thinking is 'corrupting her spirit'

-Cod3r

 

[April_Infinite]

Wow.... it's like what I dream of...


I don't know what to say, that's so rare, it's unheard of these days, with women so independant and all.

I guess you could mold her into a more interesting girl if she's boring to you.

 

[Valdez]

I had a girl somewhat like this. I'd whip it out and tell motion for her to go to work and she would. Or we will be in a hollister dressing room and i'll start kissing her while undressing her and she would comply.

I ended up cheating on her and getting with another girl.

Somewhat regret it, wish I would have met her a few years after when I wasn't as wild...then again, she probably won't be so pure cause she seems to be building game up.

Enjoy it while you can.

 

[specialed]

my girlfriend was the same way...very AFC.
got sex WHENEVER i wanted.
she would be so clingy i would never ever ever second guess that she would even consider another guy.
etc.

during our time together i would gradually open her up to the "real world"

but she was still so AFC that the same AFC that i was trying to get the edge off of actually ruined the relationship in the end. i never felt bad, i always felt i deserved her, and in fact...i felt like i was doing HER a favor by showing her what the world is like, and showing her why i'm amazing.

in fact i still love this girl, and she still loves me...but she has some growing up to do that i wouldn't be able to work with right now. and she is still growing, i talk to her on almost a daily basis...so i know my knowledge and me showing her what things are really like aren't going useless.

 

[Cod3r]

I had a girl somewhat like this. I'd whip it out and tell motion for her to go to work and she would. Or we will be in a hollister dressing room and i'll start kissing her while undressing her and she would comply.

I ended up cheating on her and getting with another girl.

Somewhat regret it, wish I would have met her a few years after when I wasn't as wild...then again, she probably won't be so pure cause she seems to be building game up.

That's why i'm afraid because I can see myself cheating and know good and well even if she found out, I could still get away with it. I'm afraid to leave her as well because I know in a few years she's going to be the exact girl I come back to sosuave and complain they are non-existent...

I do enjoy her, but its just without the chase it's losing the excitement. I mean even if she said she was 'busy' once in a while I'd be satisfied. She even took strip dance classes, reading a book on talking dirty, she's about to take a pole dancing class, i mean i guess i'm just not ready for perfection ??

I'm really confused, seriously need some advice....

PS
It's not just sex whenever I want it, its EVERYTHING. I think its at a level where even you guys with past AFC gf's wouldn't believe, its also part cultural since she's Japanese. She takes me to expensive dinners, she buys me stuff outta nowhere, she just bought me a giant cake beacuse I had a good interview, i mean its ridiculous... i think i'm just too immature for her, its overwhelming.


-Cod3r

 

[Valdez]

give her a subscription to cosmo magazine....

you might hate me for it though.

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ I bought 3 of them for her already...

We actually sat down and read a few articles this past weekend...

Her mind just isn't ready yet I guess...


-Cod3r

 

[specialed]

too much of a good thing, is usually a bad thing.

and yes my ex gf would do the same things you mention...but probably not as far as buying me a cake for a good interview i had. anyways, i was in the SAME seat you were man. if all she does is hang out with you, think of you nonstop all the time...that isn't healthy for her. does this girl have no social life outside of you? she drop her friends to hang out with you when she already made plans with them?

 

[Ace of Flames]

Get her some gal-pals. I'm sure you have some female friends right? Hook them up with your gf. Tell them to take her shopping and out to eat and stuff. Hopefully some connections will be made.

Think about it. If she's out with friends and not all over you at the drop of a hat, it would make you happy without 'corrupting' her, right?

Its just one thing you can do, anyways.

 

[Skel]

lol you creamed on her face while she was sleeping. Reminds me of the time i jerked off on my GF's stomach while she was sleeping

 

[Cod3r]

too much of a good thing, is usually a bad thing.

That's what I've been telling her, she dosen't seem to understand. I tried to break it down like 'extreme' is bad, she needs to find a balance and she says she will try and she says she 'gets it' now and hopefully so because I don't want to be forced to break up with her, I really don't...

if all she does is hang out with you, think of you nonstop all the time...that isn't healthy for her. does this girl have no social life outside of you?

She pretty much dosen't have a social life outside of me, that's the problem. She has a few friends, but they are all Japanese and just reinforce this type of behavior. I told her to go make American friends (they will corrupt her im sure) because all of her Japanese ones think she's some sort of 'player' which I find hilarious, they ask HER for relationship advice... that's ridiculous...

She's taking classes at FIT and met a Polish model whom just made contact with her last week (my gf is VERY friendly, makes friends easily, she's just afraid of Americans because she dosen't wanna lose her Japanese culture) and so I'm pressing her to talk to her about 'dating' and 'guys' and just hang out and get to know how other girls relate to men, hopefully she takes this advice and learns a thing or two...

Get her some gal-pals. I'm sure you have some female friends right? Hook them up with your gf. Tell them to take her shopping and out to eat and stuff. Hopefully some connections will be made.

Think about it. If she's out with friends and not all over you at the drop of a hat, it would make you happy without 'corrupting' her, right?

I have very few female friends because of my past history of cheating, I've shyed away from much female contact to limit my temptations. I do have one special female friend and I suggested getting those two to talk and stuff, but she says she feels uncomfortable with that because she dosen't want my female friend to know our business... She needs to make her own friends...

I'm going to start living my life a little more and see if she gets the clue. My female friend actually invited me to a house-warming during our 'special time' but usually I'd decline and say i'm chillin with the gf, but not now I'm going and gonna have fun and meet new people... I told her of this and she said its 'fine' but I think she understands things are going to change, HAVE to change... Tks for the advice


-Cod3r

 

[musclyjerk]

Cod3r,

Why don't you stop trying to tell her there's things wrong with her when it's YOU who has the problems. Either accept her for who she is or tell her you have too many problems to cope with being in a relationship with a woman who adores you and likes showing it often because of the sh*t opinion you have of yourself.

Is that what we're dealing with her? 'Cos it we aren't explain away.. I don't mean to come off as offensive but this sounds like it's all your problems coming from deep within and she's facing the brunt of it with your constant 'there's something wrong with you' 'i wish you was more like this' .. get a grip you're going to mess this girl up.

You're baffling to say to the least!

The Muscly Jerk

 

[azanon]

I agree with you this time, Muscly Jery. Good response.

Azanon

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Why don't you stop trying to tell her there's things wrong with her when it's YOU who has the problems. Either accept her for who she is or tell her you have too many problems to cope with being in a relationship with a woman who adores you and likes showing it often because of the sh*t opinion you have of yourself...

Wow, that was refreshing. I don't think she's an AFC, she doesn't seem frustrated, she sounds content about what she's doing.

So often we hear about women trying to change the guys they are dating and the guy is molded into the man she thinks she wants. She ends up controlling him, gets complacent and eventually bored with him.

Given this situation is a little different but still, why date someone if they aren't your type? It's a waste of effort on both of you. It makes me wonder if people get in relationships (any relationship) just so that they can have somebody, anybody.

 

[gherald]

i think your just gonna corrupt her...

i mean all the games and stuff your trying to tell her...

Dont waste her man...she's truly unique...and i think you'll regret it someday when you cant find someone like her when you want one...

 

[Sharpe]

I'd take her out fun places ... bowling, laser skirmish, etc. Try and see if you can turn her in to the sorta chick that loves to go out and have a fun time. I;ve had this before, and she turned into one of the most out there hcicks I know. I could hardly keep up with her ...

 

[Charm]

I think youre an AFC for allowing yourself to go this far down the road with your GF and not communicating with her. You point the finger at her and call her an AFC when it is really YOU who is to blame. She obviously loves you and is willing to change the world to please you, yet you blame her when you could be communicating with her and helping her become less naive.

 

[Sharpe]

I think youre an AFC for allowing yourself to go this far down the road with your GF and not communicating with her. You point the finger at her and call her an AFC when it is really YOU who is to blame. She obviously loves you and is willing to change the world to please you, yet you blame her when you could be communicating with her and helping her become less naive.

Partially agree with that. As a DJ, you should try and make things fun, like as I said above.

 

[specialed]

i believe her persona is something coder wants, but not the extreme of what she is doing. i'm sure he appriates everything she is doing. but look...if she doesn't hang out with her own social life...that isn't healthy for her, or him. remember...the same applies for guys as girls..."significant other is a part of your life, not your whole life"

i think most of these replies only see the top layer of what really is going on. we go around this forum telling guys to stop being AFC...yet when it comes to girls it's alright, no matter what extreme. stop being ignorant in saying it's his fault. you know it isn't healthy for guys to be that extreme, it isn't for girls either.

you won't be able to get rid of all of it without her totally being with it. but you can at least take teh edge off, which is what i think you are going after...

 

[BBX]

I mean I even creamed on her face while she was sleeping and she dosen't complain...

That made my life.:crackup: