My gf is a sexual dud

[DJmonster]

My gf is a sexual dud. I've tried just about everything. She said she came once before from sex with her first boyfriend a couple years ago after they'd done it once and then again an hour later. We did it five times in one day last week, and she still didn't c*m! This is really really frustrating me. I know a lot about different sexual techniques, and I can always turn her on, but she doesn't enjoy oral sex, and fingering her doesn't do it for her either. She enjoys missionary the best, and she does get pretty worked up, but she will never climax.

I think she's got a mental block. She's got strict parents, and she's religious. (her parents think she's a virgin) She says she's never masturbated before.

Other than the sex our relationship is great, but this is really starting to get to me.

Do you guys have any suggestions? I was thinking about getting her a woman's sexuality book.

 

[DJmonster]

Also, she seems to be very self conscious about her body. I can tell I'm making her feel more and more comfortable with me, but progress is slow. I want to make her feel sexy and confident, but not sure how to do it. She always just lays there, she doesn't communicate, and I'm getting bored. Whenever we talk about her never having an orgasm, she doesn't seem to think its a big deal. It seems like all she cares about is keeping me satisfied, but it is getting to the point where I don't feel like having sex cuz I'm thinking, 'what's the point, if no matter how hard I try and can't get her off'

 

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

Did you say you went at it 5 times in one day??? At least your getting some action you fvcken ingrate...

presume you've tried 4 play and all? You don't shoot your load after 50 seconds do you? Hmmm buy the kama Sutra book and try a few ideas from there. Also ask her what she'd like to try, if she's just laying there spread legged I don't think she's giving it all she's got...

 

[CrazyGoNuts]

some girls just have a really really hard time climaxing ... I used to know a girl who would literally bang anything that walked, close to 50 guys I would say in the span of 6 months and she ALWAYS used to complain to me about she cant c*m so I wouldnt take it as something you are doing wrong. Turns out that she wont climax unless she has a sense of passion while doin it. If its some random guy it would never happen but now that she is in a LTR she never has that problem because of the emotions involved in it (or so she says)

You just gotta really talk to her when you are foolin around, she was stuff does it for her and what doesnt. Then once you know what she likes just do that, and only that, for awhile until you see some improvement. Hope that worls

 

[Qualtran]

one word: VIBRATOR

ok, a few more: if you havent tried already, have her ride you on top: that is the best position for chicks to have vag1nal orgasms. I see that you know alot about sexual techniques, but have you actually practiced them? I used to know a lot about sexual techniques too, but with my first serious girlfriend I had the same problem you are having: i couldnt get her off. As time went by and I was with various new partners, practice turned into the ability to easily get any girl I was with off. If you are going to be with this girl for a while, you gotta break her and yourself in and that will simply take time and experimentation.

 

[CrazyGoNuts]

to add to what Qualtran said about her riding on top, I would try and do whatever I could to make sure I lasted a long time. Next time you and her have plans to see each other I would definately j*rk off at least once beforehand and get some good condoms that desensitize the sh!t out of you. She might now have any problems at all, she could just take a long time before she can climax

 

[DJ_Dork]

Don't really care if the girl doesn't know how to orgasm. In this day in age of the internet, women should know how to pleasure themselves - if they don't - they're a dud. You can help them if you think she's worth it (ie. as in giving good blow jobs)

 

[jbbrain]

Originally posted by DJmonster

I think she's got a mental block. She's got strict parents, and she's religious. (her parents think she's a virgin) She says she's never masturbated before.

HOLY SHYT. If we werent so far apart, id swear we were dating the same girl!

a) strict catholic parents-check
b)religious (quasi)-check
c)parents think shes a virgin-check
d) says shes never masturbated before-check


strange..strange..

 

[jbbrain]

oh yeah-one word

****ORIS

 

[Player_Supreme]

Big Dud or Dudis, I see your back posting your wacked advice. Since I have you on ignore seeing as how I choose not to ever see anything you spit...why don't you send me an email and let me know how your situation worked out for you...

I'm curious if you learned anything yet.

 

[LostbutFound]

Bro, learn about foreplay...My claim to fame is that I made this girl (who was a nympho and pretty much has done everything in the book) *** 3 times just by doing foreplay. Its all about knowing how to touch and finding the right spots...

Ill give you a couple places to start then you're on your own...First place that has never ever failed me is the side of the neck...Rub your tongue along it fairly hard until she twitches...You've just found her sweet spot...Go to town on it and see what happens...Usually she'll go nuts...

Next thing, get her naked and have her lay down on her stomach and lightly rub your fingers up and down her back...Just barely rub your fingers on her, and ill tell you, she will get goin...

As for everything else, if shes self conscious, you're gonna have to convince her she is beautiful...If she cant enjoy her own body, how can she enjoy someone seeing her naked....You have to reassure her that she is beautiful...otherwise she will be a dud like you said...chances are the whole time shes thinking about how ugly she looks and how her her body is bad...and thats why shes not responding...take care of that, and im sure it will be all good...

Good luck...send me a PM if you need more help

 

[DJnomore]

Originally posted by LostbutFound
Bro, learn about foreplay...My claim to fame is that I made this girl (who was a nympho and pretty much has done everything in the book) *** 3 times just by doing foreplay. Its all about knowing how to touch and finding the right spots...

One of my ex's could have an orgasm by crossing her ankles and thrusting her pelvis upward over and over.

There is not big deal in getting a woman to orgasm or not. Its mostly a mental thing. If she is comfertable with you and into you she will be able to orgasm more. If she has sexual trama in her history it will be much harder etc.

Its just like picking up girls. You can screw it up by doing something wrong. But you can't make it happen by doing stuff right. Not all women have orgasms all the time. If you are both having fun don't worry about it.

I had an ex that I got 90% of the way there once and she wanted to stop and tell me about it (no joke it was her first time she didn't realize she should have just held on for a few minutes). I thought she was hurting or something so I stopped. Well we tried over and over to get back to it but since we were so worried about it we never got it.

Just relax if it is suppost to happen it will.

 

[DJmonster]

Did you say you went at it 5 times in one day??? At least your getting some action you fvcken ingrate...

lol

what can I say: this is my first LTR, I've got some spunk, and I do shoot off pretty quick, but usually by the 2nd or 3rd time we're going at it, I'm lasting for quite a long time. And its like she gets more and more excited, but then she hits a plateau. I've tried all kinds of foreplay, which always turns her on a lot, but nothing close to orgasm. If I figure out a touch that makes her moan, I can keep doing that for a long time and she still won't come close to orgasm. ****oral stimulation doesn't seem to do anything for her. I think I've gotten her pretty close a couple times, and that was from when we'd been going at it for like 15 or 20 minutes.

jbbrain, that is a strange coincidence. I'll bet you my girl has yours beat as far as sexual inhibitions go : ) She's definitely a dud. I think maybe the root of the problem is that she has to hide her sexuality from her parents and her whole social group at church. Maybe guilt is her mental block.

What can I do though? I'm definitely going to work on lasting longer. I'll try and get her on top more. (I don't know if this will work, since she says she doesn't feel comfortable on top) I will definitely try my best to make her feel beautiful and sexy. (she does have a nice body, I'd say HB 6, with a very pretty face)

 

[DJmonster]

Just relax if it is suppost to happen it will.

Yeah, I guess if she doesn't think its such a big deal, then I shouldn't get all worked up about it.

Thanks for the replies.

 

[ScrewIt]

sounds to me like she has a low sex drive.

she isnt horny enough.
you should find some ways to turn her on...like her ear/neck/shoulder breathing on it ..etc...other stuff that turns them on