My GF has done freaky stuff in the past but won't get freaky now

[Ragin_Asian]

My gf's history is a bit colourful which is ok with me and is an indication she would be heaps freaky now with me but I am really confused now.

She's told me some crazy stuff which was like whoa that is so awesome. But if I suggested something that is half as crazy, she is all reluctant and uses crap excuses.

We have been going out for about 2 years and dang, I need things to spice it up and now all she wants is all romantic stuff which is ok, BUT HELL...I feel like I am second best to all her previous bfs who took the icing off the cake and all I am left with is crumbs.

I know that is a bit unfair and a bit insecure to say, but should relationships have stages which are heaps better than previous relationships?

I dont understand, I am starting to believe that I wasn't like the cool macks who got her to do awesome stuff and I tend to compare and obsess over this.

 

[Warrior74]

Starting to believe? you BETTER believe it. YOur her boring boyfriend. who she has borefriend sex with. 2 years? them other guys probably didn't date her for two months. They were doing all that freaky stuff to her on the first and second 'date'. they weren't asking..they were saying ***** bend over, take it in the ass on day one. I really don't know if you can fix this...maybe someone with more experience can give you some practical advice.

 

[KontrollerX]

You are getting none of the good stuff because you didn't frame the relationship correctly from the outset.

You should of made it clear to her that for you to not get the same things from her as past men means that she views you as inferior to them.

Then you should of kindly said that you are not having that and if she wants to keep the relationship she is going to have to give you what she gave them or else you walk.

You stayed around like an idiot though and because you stayed she gets what she wants while you get none of what you want.

Unfortunately at this point you are probably too emotionally attached to her to do the right thing and walk away if she doesn't give you what you want but hey if you aren't willing to go for what you want in life it is your life.

And if you choose to live this way its like the old phrase goes...

"You made your bed, now lie in it".

Me personally? I'd tell the b!tch she better start getting freaky with me and showing me some respect in so doing or I'm out that door and out of her life.

You do something like that you find out quickly how much you really mean to a chick.

AFC's though are more than happy to let the little lady wear the pants.

After all they wouldn't want to risk losing their "one" or OMG the only source of pvssy they are ever going to get ala scarcity mentality would they?

*Barf*

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Mind you this is just the sexual stuff though. She has done a lot of great stuff towards our future but she was implying that she felt dirty and degraded of her past and thats why she wouldnt want me to be the person to be just like the others she just dumped.

She still does crazy stuff though but not as exciting as what she used to do. She said she would never do them again because now she all grown up she feels she would not be respecting her body and I wouldnt be respecting her if I kept on pursuing things.

She has pretty much given me so much except this lil bit, only because I want so much. She pretty much have given me more than all my previous girls combined.

This is eating me up.

 

[Warrior74]

She felt dirty and degraded huh? She dumped them because of this dirty degrading sex huh? You aren't respecting her body by asking her to do these things huh? SHe got you boxed there buddy.

Do you have the skills/determination to pimp her mind with your words, or do you accept her contract on this, or do you walk away?

This is for you to decide.

btw. do you think she felt degraded when she was actually doing these things...or only afterwards....a buyers remorse sort of thing?

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Well the thing Im most confused with is that I won her quicker than any guys she has dated. She did take it up the ass from me without me asking for it...damn it was so dirty but felt so taboo it was great!!

I was the only guy who never had to use a condom. At the start she was a condom nazi and I know I am the only guy she has gone so much further.

Yes I do feel inferior but shes not the only girl I know who is "watering" down. I know a lot of girls who had a ho-phase and then trimmed down a little.

Half of the things she gives me without asking are like the things you have to conquer mountains and slay dragons to get from your average gal. I think I am just really freaky as well and I should get shut down for all the other things I am wishing for lol.

Here are some of the things she does for me:
*Sex everyday
*30min *******s EVERYTIME before sex (record is 55mins)
*licks my balls at my command lol
*Backrub after sex
******** everytime I am being nice to her
*prefers sport or other outdoor activities over shopping and girly movies.
******** while driving (risky to be in a sticky situation)

She's doing everything great apart from going through all the way for my disturbed needs lol...I just think it is a lil harsh to leave her because of THIS n THAT....etc

I think with any other girl I wouldve ditched them the first week but for a girl to keep up for 2 years thats a pretty slog on its own.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Did she do some of her freaky things when she was drunk? I had GF's tell me some crazy stuff they did but, told me is was mostly cause they were drunk. And its true... Girls will do almost anything you say "sexually" when they are drunk that, they wouldn't do sober....

 

[Warrior74]

I can't give any more advice in this thread. You may be want too much...its possible. I can't rule it out. It's hard to say with out exact details to be honest. But I don't care to know the details of your sex life...so I will leave it at this... its up to you, make it your decision, not hers, not ours...yours. If you want it...get in her head with your words. use your dj skills. good luck.

 

[SmoothTalker]

So what exactly are you asking for that's so degrading man?

 

[AlexTheGreat]

that's what I'd like to know as well.

 

[KontrollerX]

"but she was implying that she felt dirty and degraded of her past and thats why she wouldnt want me to be the person to be just like the others she just dumped."

Even if she is telling the truth and this is not just some excuse to make you buy what she is selling...

So what?

Personally I believe being a DJ is about going all out for what you want in life and if others do not bend to your frame you walk away.

You want her to go farther, you want her to get freakier, like she did with past men and she is not doing it.

The only solution is to have a little talk with her about how important it is for her to give you the same things she gave other guys or you are sorry but you are going to have to walk away from her.

Its just that simple.

You seem satisfied with the bread crumbs she is giving you though and are obviously afraid of losing her so you are just going to have to tolerate being second best to the other guys who got all of her.

While you only got part of her.

Sucks huh?

 

[horaholic]

It's pretty fvcked up that she wont do a bunch of freaky shyt, but she'll sure as hell TELL you all about doing it to other guys!

Take this as a form of ASD. It's almost like she WANTS to get all weird, but needs to know that you wont look down on her. Tell her there's nothing wrong with getting weird, it's who you're doing it with, thats degrading or not. She should be WAY more willing to do this with you than them!

Press the issue, she'll cave. Tell her you cant be nice to her any more, because it's degrading to you as a man! jk.

 

[Reyaj]

Your gf is full of **** dude.... Im sorry..... you're the nice guy she found after being tossed around like a rag doll from other guys..... are you so insecure that you can't see that?

Doesn't it bother you that some other guys got to roughhouse her and have their sordid way..... and basically moved on... and now you're stuck being the noble boyfriend and she won't even fuffill your own fantasies after all your effort?

What would you say if you meet one of her past sex partners and he asks you how his **** tastes?

 

[Effington]

Sounds like the script to "Chasing Amy". Go see it if you haven't yet.

 

[Axcell]

Had a very similar situation to this one. Kontroller has some nice tips, wish I followed those.
Except my situation was much worse than yours. You listed the things she does with you... that's a lot of stuff. But I suppose different DJ's have different needs/wants.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

she said that although she did those things, she deeply regreted them and thats why she thought she wouldnt keep it a secret.

if she was tryin to fake her way through then shes doing a great job lol...i cant pretend to be someone else for 2 seconds let alone be different for more than 2 years.

I mean doesnt every good girl have a bad phase at some stage? my gal had this phase for like a couple of months. she was only seeing the previous ones like once or twice a month.

does it make any difference if the girl has done something, didnt like it and would never ever do it again regardless of how great the bf is? would it be disrespectful of the bf to be pushing something that the girl hate to do again?

could it be that because shes done something crazy back then, i sort of expect something bigger and better not because i want it but because i want to have a superior time with her compared to her previous guys. kinda like an insecure competition with the past.

its like i always want more than what she has given before me and wont settle for anything less. but the only thing is that its only about the sex part and pushing it. everything else is pretty sweet.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Wouldn't I be disrespectful if i keep pushing the issue.

I would be pretty pissed off if i was asked to do things i regretted in the past which i had issues and would rather forget, especially from a loved one.

So i am just trying to see both sides.

 

[KontrollerX]

"she said that although she did those things, she deeply regreted them and thats why she thought she wouldnt keep it a secret."

Aww how sweet she's looking for forgiveness.

Tell her and any future chick you are with to join the catholic church if they want someone to confess their sins to as its just going to fvck with your head to hear that sh!t and its not really your place to hear what a chick did in the past anyway.

Thats her sexual past as your sexual past is your past.

People in relationships need to focus on the here and now and not introduce potentially harmful secrets like this that just burden their partner in one way or another and risk hurting the relationship.

What your girl has done by confessing her sins to you is make you her Catholic priest confessor or therapist. Not cool.

Also you wouldn't of made this topic if you absolutely liked the way things were going.

This issue of her's bothers you and it bothers you because you want to be her A guy as Str8up calls it and as long as you don't get as good or better as past guys you are never going to feel completely at ease with your relationship with her.

Yeah she can make you very happy doing what she does currently but this issue will always gnaw at the back of your mind and could years from now bring your relationship to a close.

This is why someone with a dirty little secret needs to keep their damned mouth shut or go confess it to a confessor or psychologist.

She didn't tell you the secret for your benefit, she told you the secret for her benefit.

She wants to be forgiven for this behavior and made pure but she'll never be pure.

She is what she is and she's done whats she's done and she has to live with it and she should let you live with it too by giving you exactly what those past men had from her.

Its only fair after all.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

yea i wouldnt have cared if i didnt know about it. in fact i would have felt like the king if it wasnt for this little issue.

im sure she would feel like crap everyday if she knew a few of my skeletons

 

[Ragin_Asian]

just asking, would you do something u hate to do for a girl if it meant the world to her, purely because you have done it to previous gals?