My Gf gets mad every time we go out.

[Ashlee Angel]

I live in columbus ohio it's not much to do here. So most people I know always go to Easton mall. It has the movies and alot of other stores.

She hates when girls look at me. We go into the mall and some little thug niggas were looking at her.

She looked at me and said how does it feel. I said what? She said how does it feel when guys look at me.

I said I feel fine for three reasons. Reason one the only reason they are looking at you is cause they want to fvck you.

Reason two I look better than any of them.

Reason three I am not a jealous person if anything it shows me that I have a cute girlfriend.

We get into the ticket line and alot of girls are looking at me. So she says she wants to leave. I said sh!t not after I just drove all of the way up here. She gets so mad and she kind of acts like it's my fault when other women look at me.

What can I do or say to make this problem go away? I already know she is a little jealous and inscure.

 

[Entity]

tell her that those chicks looking at you don't mean anything to you. tell her that there's a reason you're with her and not them. but when it comes down to it, she needs to deal w her insecurity issues. has she ever been cheated on by an ex?

 

[ApocalypseCow]

Entity, you're being far more forgiving with this chick than I would.

Ashlee, I'm assuming you're being a good boyfriend and are giving your girlfriend compliments and support. If she is so freaked out by girls checking you out, then maybe she should go live in a cave. This girl is High Maintenance, capital H, capital M. Is she worth it? Insecurity is like a black hole. You can keep feeding it, but it will never go away. I'd say something along the lines of, "I'm happy being your boyfriend. But you constantly criticizing me every time a girl glances my way is a major turn off, and it's going to drive me away. So please, don't get angry with me or else I'm going to back out of this relationship." Be a man and set the rules.

 

[Ashlee Angel]

Originally posted by Entity
tell her that those chicks looking at you don't mean anything to you. tell her that there's a reason you're with her and not them. but when it comes down to it, she needs to deal w her insecurity issues. has she ever been cheated on by an ex?

She has been cheated on before most girls I know have. I have gone as far as telling her I don't care about those other girls etc.

I also gave her these lyrics.

Baby
Look i'm tired of tryin'
To convince you that I ain't caught up lyin'
When she walk past me I looked
So what
Big deal
I don't understand how that could make you feel
That my love ain't for real

[Hook 1]
Everday I thank the lord above that your with me(your with me)
Tell me why would I throw that away(why would I throw that away)
What can I do to prove that this is where I wanna be(yea)
So I may look occasionally
Your the only one I need

[Chorus]
If I wanted
(That girl)
Then I would be with
(That girl)
But that one ain't for me
She's fine as hell but she'll always be
(That girl)
Nothin' more then
(That girl, no matter what she do she don't compare to you)

[Verse 2]
What chu yellin for
(Why you screamin')
Girl you act as if you just caught me cheatin'
When you look at other men and don't act like you don't
I don't trip because I know that I'm the guy that come to every night

[Hook 1]
Everyday I thank the lord above that your with me(your with me)
Tell me why would I throw that away(why would I throw that away)
What can I do to prove that this is where I wanna be
So I may look occasionally
Your the only one I need

[Chorus]
If I wanted
(That girl)
Then I would be with
(That girl
But that one ain't for me
She's fine as hell but she'll always be
(That girl)
Nothin' more then
(That girl, no matter what she do she do she don't compare to you)

[Hook 2]
I
Know I
Need you
Right here with me
Oh I
Know I
Need you
No other girl would do
Cause I
Need you
Right here with me
Oh I.......Need you
Whoooooa

[Chorus]
If I wanted
(That girl)
Then I would be with
(That girl)
But that one ain't for me
She's fine as hell but she'll always be
(That girl)
Nothin more then
(That girl)
No matter what she do she don't compare to you

[Marques]
If I wanted that girl
Then I would be with that girl
But that one ain't for me
She's fine as hell but she'll always be
That girl
Nothin' more that girl
No matter what she do
She just can't be you
Baby

 

[Ashlee Angel]

Originally posted by ApocalypseCow
Entity, you're being far more forgiving with this chick than I would.

Ashlee, I'm assuming you're being a good boyfriend and are giving your girlfriend compliments and support. If she is so freaked out by girls checking you out, then maybe she should go live in a cave. This girl is High Maintenance, capital H, capital M. Is she worth it? Insecurity is like a black hole. You can keep feeding it, but it will never go away. I'd say something along the lines of, "I'm happy being your boyfriend. But you constantly criticizing me every time a girl glances my way is a major turn off, and it's going to drive me away. So please, don't get angry with me or else I'm going to back out of this relationship." Be a man and set the rules.

I feel what your saying but. I have been with her for five months and it is real serious. You just cannot break up with somebody because of something like this.

 

[Entity]

all i can tell you is to keep up the positive reinforcement. i was in a similar situation, and it helped. it just may take a lot of time...but it sounds like you are willing to invest it.

 

[Phrozen]

She goes into ***** mode whenever you step outside and some girl puts her eyes on you. I'd say that is a big problem if you guys ever plan to spend time together in public.

There is nothing you are capable of doing to avert this attention you are getting so she needs to learn to accept it and take pride in the fact that she has a boyfriend who many girls find attractive. What does she expect you do to change this? Dress like a slob, not shower, eat a krispy kreme only diet, and mutilate your face? She needs to shape up or get an ugly boyfriend. Its that simple.

 

[Kwah]

Ashlee, make little throwaway insults towards the women she sees looking at you. Dont be mean but make it obvious they are not worth your time and should not be worth hers.

IE: Some 16 year old is checking you out(Im assuming 20 something), your girlf sees this and starts getting pissy. you notice this and make offhand remark about how lucky you are that you arent dating some stupid little girl like that or something and make reference to the one checking you out.

Just throw subtle but definate indications that they are below your standards and that your lucky you have a girl as great as her. Just dont make it obvious your trying to mind **** her.

 

[Eternal]

Say "they want what they can't have."

 

[TesuqueRed]

Nothing you can tell her.

Not much you can do about it.

She's got problems and these will probably be there most of her life. Every BF she gets will deal with this resentful jealousy. If it's 5 months and "real serious" then you will have to cope.

At some point, for this reason or another, you may have to break it off. I imagine this will be one of those things that grows or wears you down to such point that the negatives out-weigh the positives. It takes time, and you may be seriously into the negatives before cancelling it, too.

IMO--IMHO--this is one of those terminal red-flags. Red flags are red flags, and some I can deal with and others are of the "run! run very fast!" variety. This terminal is as in you live thru it once and pay your dues (it will be costly) and then immediately NEXT anyone you date after that who displays the same traits. It's just not worth it--they need therapy or to grow up or---best thing---simply not have that level of resentful jealousy.

On another note---5 months and "it's serious"---??? Are children involved? Do you own a home together??? Careful that you're putting too much heaviness on "this is a SERIOUS long term RELATIONSHIP" (like an AFC)--sure, it's important, but don't over play it because doing so may cause you to not see basic truths clearly (like she's got jealousy problems and issues and may not be suitable for LTRs, for example...)

___________
oh---I forgot---what I do when caught with someone with these red flags---

Don't respond to it. Any--and I mean ANY response--feeds it. She makes nasty little comments and you don't react, just like she just said nothing of consequence. She gets no reaction--no reward--for using that stuff. It's a manipulation, you recognize, right? It's her bad behavior and something of a test. At some point you will have to call her on it, but if you're not ready to walk out the door, don't bother until you're ready. Until then--if she wants to leave the movie line because others are looking at you, let her go. You go see the movie and have a good time anyway. Otherwise she's manipulating and whipping you.

Like I said, I see terminal red flags here. Get over that "5-month and it's serious" thing.

 

[Bungo Pony]

I agree with TesuqueRed. This is her problem, not yours. She's the one who has to correct it. There's nothing you can do to fix her personality, she has to do it herself. You're the one who has to put up with it. The question is, are you willing to put up with it everytime you go out?

My fiance loves it when other women check me out. She knows she has something valuable that other women would only dream of having. Then we go home and fvck.

 

[Quick]

This is more than being a little jealous and insecure. When it gets to the point that she wants you to leave the movies, it's a major problem with her. Ideally, when she revealed this side of her, you should have told her to shut up or left her immediately. Now you feel that you've put time in and don't want that time to be wasted. It's decision time for you. Can you live with it, or is is something that you can't take anymore. If you can't take it, don't compound your mistakes by stretching this relationship out. Instead of thinking in terms of how bad you'd feel after putting 5 months in, think of how bad you'll feel if you put up with this for 10 months and then she left you or something. Your happiness should start today.

As others have said, this kind of deep insecurity can only be solved by her. It's irrational, and therefore you can't do anything about it. Nothing you say to her will change her mind, and you can't argue her out of it. If you tell her how you don't want anyone else, she won't believe you. If you threaten to leave her, she'll think that you want to be with one of those girls that were looking at you.

It's true that after a long, long time of being with her, with you never cheating and being perfect, she'll be less jealous. Unfortunately, it's not that her personality changed, but that she just doesn't worry about you anymore. At that point, you may discover as I once did, that it's not necessarily a positive. If she's not worried at all about you leaving, then a lot of the drama is gone and you'll be boring. She'll start looking for another guy to supply the excitement and drama missing from your relationship. Proving that you're perfectly reliable is the opposite of providing a challenge and being a DJ, and will ultimately prove self-defeating.

 

[davelmn2003]

I used to go out with a HB and it seemed that just about every guy looked at her. Her is a real "head-turner". Well, I felt a bit insecure about losing her, but equally so, I also felt good because hey, I was the one who got to be with her.

If I were you, I would ask my GF whether she's caught me looking at those women.

(If you've looked at them, then, darn, her insecurity may be justified! --or at least it's understandable. It is no ground for dumping her though, I think.)

 

[b_elusive_eyes]

Dude..your 19 yrs old...Im sure there are allot of guys that got more going on than you...wait till your girl cheats all over your ass....or is she the totally insecure type? get a real chic than..

 

[Ashlee Angel]

Thanks for the feedback everybody. I am at a point where It's nothing I am doing to cause this.

I am just not going to feed into that b/s sh!t. She knows I love her and that will never change.

Another thing is she has seen some of my ex girlfriends and to her they look way better than she does.

Also people always asked me why I was with her? She knows that she is not the type of girl I am use to dating. That might have a little just a little to do with it.

 

[Ashlee Angel]

Originally posted by b_elusive_eyes
Dude..your 19 yrs old...Im sure there are allot of guys that got more going on than you...wait till your girl cheats all over your ass....or is she the totally insecure type? get a real chic than..

I know I am 19 I am a full time college student and I work 40 hrs a week.

I also don't drink, smoke weed, cigs. I have never been in trouble.

I love nice and I have great mannors and I treat her good.

The guys I was talking about were some 16 or 17 yrs olds.


b_elusive_eyes I think I am doing pretty well for myself.

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by Ashlee Angel
I know I am 19 I am a full time college student and I work 40 hrs a week.

I also don't drink, smoke weed, cigs. I have never been in trouble.

I love nice and I have great mannors and I treat her good.

The guys I was talking about were some 16 or 17 yrs olds.


b_elusive_eyes I think I am doing pretty well for myself.

I'd say so. You manage a girlfriend in all this too? No sleep huh?

 

[Bungo Pony]

She knows I love her and that will never change.

Uh oh. Sounds like you're blinded by emotion. Even though I'm getting married next year, I don't dare make a statement like this. NEVER is an incredibly strong word. It's much safer to say that cows will never float, but people's feelings can change.

Another thing is she has seen some of my ex girlfriends and to her they look way better than she does.

You're falling for that 5hit too? What she's doing when she says "Oh, she's way prettier than I am", she's fishing for a compliment from you. She wants you to say "Of course not honey! You are a goddess compared to her!"

Here's a test for you. Next time she says "She's much prettier than me!", tell her "Yeah, you're right. She is prettier, but I love you." If she's miserable right after you say that, you've got a high-maintenance woman with low self-esteem. That's your indication to dump her or live miserable. Eventually, she'll get bored with the way she's conditioned you to be nice, and she'll find a new man to puppify.

 

[Kwah]

Im starting to agree with Bungo old chap here. If shes doing this more than a couple times a month she is way to insecure dude. Your either gonna have to set her straight that you arent going to **** with her(ina bad way) or your gonna have to start thinking about ending it before it gets ugly.

Oh and dont say you will never stop loving a person, that is just way to much of a challenge for the bacon gods to resist.

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

When I'm out with my gf I actually start conversations with other HB's and begin making fun of them. This seems to keep her from getting jealous (although she still covers my eyes when Lizzie McGuire comes on).