My full story - worth reading

[TesuqueRed]

Trance -- you've got a good base based on your past experience before the ex-GF, and you've got the right attitude. What I'm not seeing is an awareness of how you lost it with her a long time ago--if she had more social ability, she would've dumped you hard-core over a year ago, but she's got issues and you were able to keep this relationship (if you call it that) on life support long after it should've had the plug pulled.

But it's been only two weeks since the final end in your estimation (it's 1+ years in my estimation) so it's probably too early to expect you to break it down and see how and why it happened the way it did.

Know this--getting back together, making it work, getting one last fvck---all of it is wasting time for you.

Still--I repeat--go back and learn WHEN, HOW and WHY it went wrong. Many things jumped out at me as so predictable--but you didn't see it then (as most of us haven't)--the point of this is that you need to begin seeing it now.

 

[Trance]

It went wrong because i wanted sex all the time, and after 3 years, even that i was being very caring to her, she wanted to try something diferent. I think it ended in september, when i started enjoying her more than she did me, i lost control of her and so it was a natural conclusion.

Yesterday i went for a date with this incredible girl to a trance party, and i didnt have this much fun even with a big group of friends long ago!! It was so ****ing cool, we both got so high and were really trancing^^

 

[deeloo]

woah.., what a story

i guess thats a prime example of how a DJ can be turned into an AFC

 

[Trance]

Updates!!

After reading all this stuff in the site, i realized the same **** happens to everyone, and i now have in my mind most of the general stuff girls to or think. I still think sometimes about the good things me and my ex had BUT now i realize she's not who i wanted to imagine she was. I am better without her. Check this field report:


A few weeks ago we went to a disco, and we picked up 2 girls in there, one of them went with me and my 2 friends to our place, she wasnt that good looking, but my friend was kinda drunk so, why not lol

So she started calling the 3 of us, trying to setup going out at night with us. We kept not going until this weekend. She told she would bring 2 friends more, so we were 3-3.

We had a lot of fun in the night, one of them we left her at her place in the morning, and she kissed me half in the lips when she said goodbye, and i got her number. Then we went to my friends place, and i slept with the gorgeous other girl, and my friend with the other girl.

So, if we hadnt picked up the 2 average girls 2 weeks ago, i wouldnt had met a nice girl i wouldnt mind seeing again, and ****ed the other one :d



So now what's up? After like 10 days after i deleted my ex from messenger, and never ever gave her any sign of life to that ***** who tought she was better than me, she sent me a sms today saying: "Hello, how are you? Wanna be with me? Go for a cofee or for a walk? whenever you want tell me. kiss"

What would you guys do? I dont want her anymore, but i'd like to show her that im better without her and that im superior to her. For those who didnt read my story, it was the typical afc ****, that she ended up with me and 15 days latter was dating other guy. Props to this site for showing me the light. I am the man now.

 

[akindofblue]

What would you guys do? I dont want her anymore, but i'd like to show her that im better without her and that im superior to her. ... I am the man now.

Taking revenge on someone doesn't make you the man. It really just makes you the insecure a$$hole. There is no reason to try to hurt her. This is about you now. Take responsibility for your own actions and leave her behind if you must.

From experience, it's very rare to be able to remain good friends with an ex-girlfriend. It is impossible to see her apart from the girl you once loved (and still do in your heart), and at some point in time, one of you is going to want to get back with the other. As addicted as you were (and always will be) to this girl, I'd simply tell her that you're pretty busy lately but maybe some other time. If you just tell her point blank that you don't ever want to see her again, she is going to want an explanation. And then you're going to get mad. And she is going to get mad. And girls have this nasty habit of talking to one another about their ex-boyfriends, and other girls talk, and other girls talk.... You don't want bad blood in the water. Just drift away.

Be polite about it, but tacitly let her know that you're not going out of your way to be with her or making any plans for her in the future. She'll catch on.

The one caveat I will add is that if you have to be around this girl, you may want to try to form some sort of friendship. While we were dating, an ex-girlfriend of mine joined my church and made a lot of friends, some outside of my circle of friends. This community was a huge social network, where big groups would get together for services, community projects, surfing, hang gliding, sky diving... There were probably over 2,000 or so 20-35 year olds there every Sunday and throughout the week, but I still ran into her and her circle of friends. I had to become friends with her or change my lifestyle to accomodate her presense, which I wasn't going to do. So we're friends, and I guess that has worked okay. I think it's rare that this scenario works, but if you have to change your life to avoid her, you're going to have to weigh that into the equation.

 

[Cuervo]

Good going Trance. May I have her IM # now? I'll steal her from this guy.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Don't be a super-chump and call your ex back, or respond to her sms - she disrespected you by going with her other pimp...tell her to call her pimp and PuertoRican_lover told you to do so!!

 

[Trance]

Thx for the feedback guys.

I didnt respond to her sms, so in the evening the phoned me. I answered, it was her. She asked how i was, i said im great, asked how she is too. Then she asked about my exams, i said going more or less cause im not studying much cause of going out. One of our mutual friends told her im dating a girl, and she asked: "so, how's the girl you've been dating?"; i said: what girl u talking about? And gave her to understand that im going out with several, and that im closer to one of them.
I didnt ask **** about her, she prolly wanted me to ask about the guy she's dating. SHe asked if im pissed at her cause i dont say nothing for some time, and the last time we've been together like 15 days ago was my last try to be with her. I told her im just fine, and that i have absolutely no reason to be pissed at her (like the other guy didnt exist)
To end it up, i said im busy this week, maybe next week i'd get some time to think about going for a cofee.