My friends SUCK!

[TommiV]

Man,
I know, I know, this is probably just another moany thread but I need to get this off my chest.

Man, last night I was due to meet up wit a few of my old co-workers, I hadn't seen them since switching jobs and they've been saying we must have a night out. Cool I thinking, I met up with them last night. A few cool guys, but mostly a few hot girls, I was in a good mood going out. And was having fun!

I wasn't out wit my regular "clubbing buddies". Anyway, I had mentioned to one of them in passing the other day I was meeting up wit my old work-mates. Later in the night, I get a call.. "Hey, we're all in the city, where r u guys?"...
Now, they weren't there because it wasn't their circle of friends I was with but I'm like "um, ok, we're <here>".

So they show up. I should mention they are MAJOR, boring, miserable, lonely AFCs who usually either don't wanna go out or just end up making everyone around them miserable.

Anyway, I kept going wit what I was doing, I chatted with them but treid to stay witht he group I came out with. My friends just kept trying to get me away from the group of girls. And then all they'd do is start telling me which ones they liked, and why and blah blah blah... i told them go over and they were all like ...."no no no!!!"... I mean, what? Am I supposed to lead them by the hand to the girls??????

Then they just did the usual thing of getting close enough to the girls to be noticed but once there just ended up leering at them for ages until the girls went away. I mean, I kept on trying to chat to my work buddies but my usual friend just kept trying to keep me in their circle hoping that'd bring the girls over but all it actually did was creep them out. I mean its one thing when girls we don't know in clubs move away cos they just see a group of geeky guys glaring at them wit tongues practically hanging out. But these ones were people I knew and was supposed to be out wit... About 3 quarters way through the night I was sitting on a couch in the club surrounded by these guys... all of them just sitting there looking depressed and lonely... and I just realised.... F*CK!!! What happened... I came out tonight to hang wit these people who I hadn't seen in ages, who were on the dance floor having fun, and by the bar chatting and laughing and all of a sudden I just realise it... how the HELL did I end up in the SAME situation, stuck with these guys, all sitting in the corner looking depressed. I just got up and said sarcastically... "Guys, this is f*cking dperession" and walked away... I ended up ditching them just to go chat to people I knew... I mean, THEY invited themselves along, and I KNOW them, they only came because they knew the girls would be there, they wouldn't even come out and do something the night before when it was just ME asking them...

...and then once they are there, what do they do? Just stand at the side of the girls glaring at them like lonely, physcos or losers or stalkers or whatever... I mean, even I find it creepy at this stage, god only knows what girls they're staring at must feel...

Man, sorry, I had to get this off my chest. I just f*cking hate it. I go out in a good mood, looking to have fun and a good time and then somehow I always end up stuck in a bunch a loser AFC guys and *I* end up feeling bored and deprressed only because thats what I'm surrounded by. Then again the only other option is just go out alone since THESE are the guys I know and have been friends with since we left school... man, it really gets me. I know I have a lot to sort out to be successful in this game but at least not deliberatly making urself look like a manic-depressive stalker is a 1st step. I'm really pissed off... so much that I actually ditched them and finished the night by myself. And ya know what, I actually felt better by the end of it. How bad is that?

 

[AudiTy]

Somebody needs BIG HUGGY WUGGIES!!!!

Seriously tho, I'm feelin' ya. My friends aren't that extreme, but none of them have game when it comes to picking up girls and none of them have even dipped their toes into the world of seduction. They just sit back and admire women, and I kind of look down on them for that but that's just the way I've learned to be. There's a girl who's pretty hot that works in a bar near by, I remember one of my friends saying, jadedly, 'She's too good for me'. I lol'd with contempt .

I'm actually the only one that is actively pursuing happiness. My main circle of friends all smoke weed chronically and I quit about 6 months ago, and never looked back. But they only go out drinking once every two weeks because they can never be bothered, they just want to smoke weed.

-AudiTy =o

 

[Thomas94305]

I have something similar...

There's not a lot you can do at the club to "fix" them. I mean, my journey was not one night watching someone good, then doing the same thing. It's been a long time, and I still have room to grow.

So, what you want to do here? You don't have to do anything. If you were honestly interested in helping them, and I do have a couple of friends I have helped...

Things that might help? Approaching the women in front of them will smash through their beliefs it can't be done. I wouldn't bother to invite them along, just let them watch. After that, if you wanna help more, email them the DJ boot camp, and tell them to get on the journey. If they balk too much, let them live with their own choices. Maybe they'll come around later.

I'm a graduate student in electrical engineering; it's a nerd farm here. AFC's abound. I have one friend who has been open enough to learning and change, that I sent him the DJBC and the DJ bible. He reeks of AFC. But, he's getting to work on it, and I respect him for that. I have some other acquaintances who I just don't feel are ready for change. I study from time to time at a local coffee shop. There's this older gentleman, divorced, about 60. He simply will not approach any woman there. I could add more details. But, he's not open to changing his situation, so I've just let it go.

Anyhow, nice you are concerned about your friends. You can't change them, nor are you responsible to do so. If they want to get to work on changing themselves, the most you can do is feed them some information; but they have to sarge for themselves.

 

[flexion_]

Well I hate to say it but it was your own fault.

You have call display. When you are out with your work buddies don't invite other people to come along. Next time just don't pick up the phone.

Use your AFC buddies to go out the gym, sporting events or whatever and leave them out of those other times when you are trying to pick up women.

 

[AudiTy]

This is what I plan to do.

Make use of them where they are useful to have as friends. I mean, having AFC's with you while gaming or w/e is like taking a unicycle to the cinema. (...and you don't even know how to ride it!)

 

[TBD]

Man, I can totally empathize with you here. I have a bunch of friends like that; they like girls, but they're scared ****less of them. :nervous: I realized the futility of offering helpful advice pretty quickly so now I just learn to live with it. They're cool guys, and one shouldn't hold it against them that they just haven't learned how to properly deal with girls (not that I'm an expert, by any means, of course)...

So yeah, basically it's something you'll probably just have to live with. I agree with Thomas94305: basically you have to demonstrate to them that standing around acting creepy is not the ideal route to go and hopefully it'll act as a wake up call. Otherwise, just enjoy their company for what it is.

I do understand how it might be frustrating, though. Case in point:

A few months back some buddies and I went to a club on a Thursday night, so it was fairly dead. There was a solitary group of girls dancing in a little circle and my friends just sat next to the dance floor and talked about how they'd like to **** them, and which ones they'd ****, if given the opportunity. So this AFCness was getting to me, so I decided to demonstrate some of the DJ wisdom, in the hope of helping my fellow man... (actually, I was just trying to get some ass, but shh ) So I caught their eye, winked at them, and motioned for them to come over (I was feeling pretty full of myself that evening lol). Anyway, they started a little girly conference right there on the dancefloor after this, and seemed pretty indecisive (I blame it on a detection of my friend's AFCness, because I'm a total pimp... :cheer: - just kidding, haha). So I smirked, and summoned them over again. Now my friends, who were at first "there's no way you'll get them to come over" were a little silenced, so they came over and I fluffed with the one who was clearly the alpha chick but my friends did nothing - didn't even say a word, just oggled. One of my friends, who's usually pretty decent, decided that he'd offer his chair to one.... :nervous:.....

Anyway, I fluffed with them for a little while, and then another one of my friends started making snide little comments about me, to no one in particular.... so I laughed and kept chatting... then he started throwing ice cubes at me from his finished drink. At this point the girls ejected, although one did come back later and started chatting with me, but she's was HB5 or so..:yawn: But, the icing on the cake, a guy my friend brought with him (a total pain in the ass btw) says "man, you REALLY suck with girls don't you." :box: So yeah, I guess I got kinda carried away with that story, but we should all take comfort in the fact that we're on the road to improvement. But like I said, they're pretty cool guys under less stressful lol circumstances, and I'm sure yours are too, so just enjoy that.

 

[TommiV]

lol, TBD.
Thats EXACTLY how my friends act. It usued to annoy me when they'd take the piss out of my for trying to talk to a girl. Now it doesn't cos I really can't see where there coming from but I still hate their attitude.

I mean, they laugh at you for trying to talk to girls but they just don't get that they haven't been with a girl for over a YEAR (!! and thats the best guys case!!!)

I didn't invite them this weekend cos I knew they'd just suck and it was a chance to hang out wit someone different. But ya know... a few drinks, having a good time, when asked "Where are you?" I just sid "I'm here"... didn't think they'd come bolting in within 60 seconds...lol...


I dunno. I just wanna have fun and its just a physcological thing... they make ME feel depressed by the end of the night, just being around them. They jsut have conversations like u guys said about how this girl wouldn't like them and that girls too good for them and one guy even just goes around saying "Oh, its all over for me..."... he's like 23... :crazy:

 

[Faded Image]

LOL, Dude I'm dying laughing at this post cause I've only been there countless times:crackup:

While reading your post, I literally felt the frustration you were going through which actually gave me something to laugh at cause I've been there before.

 

[AudiTy]

and one guy even just goes around saying "Oh, its all over for me..."... he's like 23...

Omg? I'm 20. Does that mean I have 3 years before "it's all over"? :woo:

 

[TommiV]

Apparently so... live fast...lol :rock:

I'm heading for 22 soon ... uh oh! lol...

 

[Socialreject]

I had a friend like this at some point...

Do these guys look up to you? Do they respect you as a friend? If so it might be worthwhile setting an example for them and when the example sparks their interest you got to lay it out to them hard... If they are so feminised they actually confess being scared, in a way that they are looking for support and confirmation (you know like "please take me by the hand and tell me i'm great so i'll feel better about NOT SARGING THIS CHICK"), then you could try coming down on them hard...

Telling them the way it is.. either you sarge or end up mastrubating for the rest of your miserable life, etc...wake em up good!

But tbh it may not be worth it. It really depends if they are decent enough friends or not. The friend i had was never so wimpy, he had issues, one-itis tearing him down, and making him depressed, sad and whiny... but he never was a pvssy.

I just helped him get in to the mindset and correct his attitude by reasoning with him and setting examples and now he's got way better game than me (all natural, he has never read any seduction material)... Now this guy is one of my closest friends, and wingman.

So yeah, what i'm saying is, don't always give up on your AFC friends. Just make smart selections, make sure they are worth your time as persons, because tbh it does take some work and lots of boring talks. Also realize... some people only need a kick in the ass to launch them in to an interesting life... other people need constant badages to help them get through their miserable lives. The latter are a waste of time.