My friend girl

[nixonhater]

Could you any of give advice as to what is going on with my friend? Note, she's a friend girl. We are not dating or involved.

There are several things I notice with her:

-She is afraid to travel with a man
-She is terrified to share a hotel room with a man
-She does not seriously date--meaning she does not get romantically involved with a man. With one man she was supposedly dating, she refused to let him kiss her and she refused to kiss him. They stopped seeing one another shortly thereafter.

-She is afraid to touch a man in any way--she won't put her arm around a man, she cannot give a man a serious hug. When a man does put an arm around her, she shudders.
-She will not allow a man to stay with her in her home, even if they are in separate rooms, except her parent's house.
-She will not stay in a man's apartment, even if they are in separate rooms, unless his parents are there.
-She is in her mid-20s and speaks in a very high pitched, girl-ish voice.

Could you anybody give me an idea as to what is going on? What is driving her fear of men?

 

[( . )( . )]

shes a weirdo, who cares what fvcked her up, its her problem not yours.

 

[Kodiac]

What's her relationship like with her "daddy" ?
parents in general ?
sounds like something happened in her childhood, possibly some form of sexual assault ?

or maybe shes just a lesbian

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by nixonhater
-She is in her mid-20s and speaks in a very high pitched, girl-ish voice.

She was sexually abused as a child by a man. Its pretty obvious to anyone who has any experience in psychology. However, this hint above really seals the deal. I read a book once in speach related psychology. It had a huge chapter on the coorelation of sexual abuse and voice. Apparently, girls that are abused as children often fail to psychologically mature past the age they were abused. So, if a six year old was abused, psychologically, they are "stuck'' , in a way, with the maturity similar of that to a 6 year old. Hence, the high pitched girly voice. Its kinda hard to explain, I will try to dig up the book.

Starman, your the pysch-buff around here, maybe you know what im talking about

By the way, I would totally NEXT this chik. She has a million issues to deal with, let her therapist do that. Stay away

 

[DarkfalconIV]

WAs she raped? Sounds like it

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Are you sure she's REALLY a girl???

Weird byatch LOL



PIMP

 

[WaterTiger]

DarkFalcon is right. She's a sexual abuse survivor. In her mind, MEN ARE THE ENEMY, they are dangerous monsters and she's terrified of them. She needs therapy and lots of it.

The high-pitched voice? Could just be how she talks. It may get higher when she's nervous, like when she's around guys.

I am curious if she lets YOU to be close or touch her.

 

[DarkfalconIV]

Yeha man talk her into a therapist. She'll probably have a hard time wit it.But you really need to help her.

AND TO ALL YOU ******* CALLING HER WEIRD I HOPE PEOPLE DO THE SAME TO YOU IF YOU GET BUTTRAPED.

Just because your a DJ dosn't mean you can't help a nother human being. Sex is good love is better. Even if you don't get laid.

God you guys piss me off sometimes

 

[Santos]

Well, I agree that there's probablly abuse involved. I'm no pysch expert though. If you really want to be her friend, and you think you can handle what she might have to tell you...then try to get her to open up to you. Establish a level of trust between the two of you. I know that people with even minor issues (like I have had in the past) find it difficult to talk about it, even to a close friend. I don' t think you should be her therapist, but if she lets you know why she's so afraid of men, encourage her to get counselling.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by DarkfalconIV
Yeha man talk her into a therapist. She'll probably have a hard time wit it.But you really need to help her.

AND TO ALL YOU ******* CALLING HER WEIRD I HOPE PEOPLE DO THE SAME TO YOU IF YOU GET BUTTRAPED.

Just because your a DJ dosn't mean you can't help a nother human being. Sex is good love is better. Even if you don't get laid.

God you guys piss me off sometimes

proud of you, dfIV. there is hope for you yet.

 

[nixonhater]

HOW do I tell my friend she needs therapy without hurting her? She lives in a constant state of denial.

 

[WaterTiger]

Offer to go with her to a couple sessions. You can't force her to go, but you may be able to coax her to go. Tell her if there is nothing wrong, then the therapyst will say so, but if they say she has a problem, then she has to go.

She's in denial because she can't handle the pain, rage, guilt and 10,000 other emotions going on inside her. Refusing to acknowledge them is the only way she knows how to survive. She KNOWS something is wrong. She just can't deal with it by herself.

You don't have to be her security blanket. You don't have to be her teddy bear. But she's really lucky to have you as a friend. Get her some help. The sooner she deals with this, the sooner she'll be a stronger person.