my friend bought his 5yr ltr a 7k ring and now she's distant

[MattS]

My friend just told me everything. Him and his gf have been together for 5 yrs. 2 months ago he decided to move to the cayman islands to try out the real estate market. I told him before he left that it wasn't a smrt move ltr wise and sh1t would end, well I was right.
He called me up all in pieces. He said she hasn't returned his calls and emails in a week. He says the last convo they had consisted of her saying she wants a break. She's in med school so she could be stressed. I told him she either found someone or wants to be alone. I asked himn how sure he was she wanted to end it. He said he went through her email account and saw her emails she wrote people and it wasn't good lets just say. They basically are talking about breaking up with him. Right now she hasn't said anything but her actions are painting the picture enough.
He then told me he's upset cause he is flying back in two days and probably moving back and was planning to go to vegas and propose to her with a 7k ring.

He told me he doesn't want to lose her and said if he sees her he's going to cry and just wants to kiss her passionatley and still wants her to go to vegas this weekened.

I told him to man the fvck up and don't cry in front of her and stop contacting her. Then I said before u cut her off let her know thatur moving back for good then leave her alone and don't let her pick u up from the airport. He said but I wanna and I don't wanna lose her. I said if u act like a pvssy and keep talking to her she's goign to for sure runaway. He's a nice guy overall and has a diffenernt attitude than me. I wrote a email for him to send to her.it basically says ...im moving back but im going to leave u alone. Ur acting like a kid grow up blah blah. I know hell crack but if he doesn't I think hell wrok things out. Any thoughts?

 

[DJNiceGuy]

wow, after 5 years, does he still need to play games? why can't he just tell her that moving was a mistake and that he realizes his mistake and is moving back. Of course he should say this calmly without any tears and without throwing in too many emotional words. He simply made a mistake and realized it. This should not cause her to lose respect for him in my humble opinion. And he should definitely definitely wait to propose.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She feels guilty about doing another guy, because she was mad at him for leaving. There is no hope unless he forgets about her and has sex with other women.

 

[MattS]

Yea she could have fvked someone else but she isn't a slvt. But she did have male orbiters. Yea I told him to leaver her alone and fvck other chicks

 

[Mr. Me]

she hasn't returned his calls and emails in a week. He says the last convo they had consisted of her saying she wants a break. She's in med school so she could be stressed.

Please don't rationalize her wanting space. The reason she wants space, the reason she doesn't return his calls, is because she no longer is interested in him.

Were she "stressed", but very interested in him, she'd find his calls to be an oasis of relief; she'd look forward to speaking with him.

When a woman says she wants space, it's because she doesn't care to be with the guy. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to be apart from him.

he is flying back in two days and probably moving back and was planning to go to vegas and propose to her with a 7k ring.

Basically, he wants to ask a woman who is NOT interested in him, to marry him.

You know how this will end.

This is not a matter of his having been away for two months and that telling her he's back to stay will suddenly make things better. She was losing her love for him, whatever amount of love she had, if indeed she had much to begin with, for some time prior to his leaving.

And I wouldn't be surprised if there's some fellow med student in the picture that she's been getting feelings for.

does he still need to play games? why can't he just tell her that moving was a mistake and that he realizes his mistake and is moving back.

Telling her that moving was a mistake... well, that's still playing a "game". A highly ineffective one, too, at that.

As I mentioned above, her lack of love in the guy isn't about that he was away for two months. That's not much love is it, if you lose it over two months of someone being away. No heart growing fonder there.

But suppose that he did what you propose and says that his going to the Caymans to try and make his fortune in real estate was a big mistake and miraculously, that makes her fall back in love with him. Now, the rest of his life with her, he can't risk in order to profit, because he's labeled his taking opportunities as "mistakes" to her. What a way to live. A life without risking anything. Why get out of bed?

 

[thedeparted]

Man is a fool. Did he think she would drop med school and run off to the islands with him???

That was a power play that failed. So when he left she wrote him off. Good men don't run off to the islands without you. That is how a woman sees it. So game over.

It was a fine enough ending, actually. She might have admired his courage and conviction and confidence in going that route. He might have found himself a new woman. But then came the pathetic post-script....

1. He shows he's too weak to make it on his own.
2. He show his belief that her affections can be re-purchased with his money.
3. He reveals his life plan to be unimportant to him.

And on and on. There is no happy resolution here. Any way it goes is more effed up than the next. But there is a great lesson for us all: LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP!!

Plenty of guys can't live without their woman. They are chumps. But chumps don't up and run off to Cayman Islands alone. This guy could've stuck around and kept his girl if he would've taken the time to know who he was inside, which is just an average chump, and not an island-hopping D.J. He could've been a happy chump with her.

But now that he took the great leap, he's gonna feel the cold wind of reality on his cheek instead of warm kisses. He's gonna have to be the emotionally tough man he thought he was in the beginning. And eventually, thanks to his ex standing strong, maybe he will be.

Now it looks like a happy ending after all.

 

[KontrollerX]

Your friend is an AFC b!tch on the level of 75% of the guys that are regs of the discussion forum and the situation is a lost cause as a result of that.

Actually the situation is a lost cause regardless because its clear this woman's priorities don't lie with him and because they don't lie with him she's likely been out getting boned by other guys and showing just how much she loves your friend in so doing.

So far you've been a great friend to him but he'll just have to go through the stupid emotional based motions and get horrifically burned before he gets it through his thick skull exactly how women are.

And sadly enough some guys this happens to still never learn.

 

[Black suit]

Well, that just goes to say. Never buy your woman stuff. NOTHING even remotely expensive.

 

[MattS]

He emailed me today and said he tried to get a hold of her again. I said dumb move. He's blinded I've been there it sucks feel out of control with no sense of direction. Hell be here tomorrow he won't stay strong. He's going to break really bad and his b1tch azz ex lady is going to hand his heart to him on a cold plate. I told him five yrs a go his lady was a b1tch I knew her way before he met her. He didn't believe me

 

[NewMan]

I think 'MATTS" is the friend

 

[decades]

a fool and his money are soon parted.

 

[DavenJuan]

He emailed me today and said he tried to get a hold of her again. I said dumb move. He's blinded I've been there it sucks feel out of control with no sense of direction. Hell be here tomorrow he won't stay strong. He's going to break really bad and his b1tch azz ex lady is going to hand his heart to him on a cold plate. I told him five yrs a go his lady was a b1tch I knew her way before he met her. He didn't believe me

im confused..

he was strong enough to walk away (basically) when he moved to the "islands" . why is he so desperately trying to vow for her affection now?

im not saying this was the case, but majority of the guys i know who move to the islands and leave their girl behind, more than likely have other ideas in mind.

i just dont get how he was able to pick up, follow his dreams, and then all of a sudden decide he needs to come back home.

 

[MattS]

He's such a fvckin afc. he just told me she's picking him up from the airport. I said tell her not too and say u will call when u get in and don't cal her until the next day. He needs to get her il up and he's going to fvck himself. I can't wait for him to tell me she pulled the ljbf, break up whatever its not going to good. He's begging for azz to stay

 

[MattS]

He got worried cause she stopped returning his calls then he felt isolated out there and lonely. Yea he had plans but things changed. I told him sh1t was going to be done if he left

 

[MattS]

Update
So his ex or whatever she is has been coming around his house and asking to hang out all her stuff is still there also. She said she was moving it out this weekened. But she come around and says lets go eat or watch a movie etc. He just says no and tell her to leave and she just replies with I want u in my life blah blah. Last night we decided to go out p, we go to his house real fast to get something and she ends up being there doing some homework. We all talk for a sec. Then he's like were going out. He goes outside and as I walk out I say u two better fix this sh1t. So we go out and get drunk. She goes to some concert with her friends. He's like she probably won't be there tonight (she stays at her moms house from time to time so she can easily go there whenever).
Low and behold we get to his house late and she is there taking a shower. She doesn't wanna lose him and I think they will get back together soon. If she wanted to end it that bad she would just steer clear (cmon taking showere doing homework???). Actions are speaking louder than words. She claims there is no other guy. She's had 2 months alone so even if there is she's showing what she wants.

 

[DonGorgon]

its done.

 

[DonGorgon]

In a LTR, you DON'T use DJ tricks.

FALSE!!! The game never ever ends... Any woman who can attract other men will make you play her little game if she can... Always keep your game face on even if you hide it behind a mask...

 

[Igetit!]

I can't agree with that. I thought the point of an LTR was to have a strong emotional bond with someone, if I have to game a girl to make her want me, there is not enough emotional connection to constitute a LTR. You know, successful marraiges can last 'til death. Are you trying to tell me you'd advise busting on a girl and push/pulling her for your entire life because you have no real connection, just the fake PUA/DJ methods used to attract a girl.

Awesome, you can attract a girl, but attraction really isn't basis for anything serious.

Maybe I am missing the point of what you said there. But in my opinion, you need to be exactly as you are when looking for something serious (and luckily you can become attractive BEING WHO YOU ARE so y'know...)

I have to agree with DonGordon on this one Wolf. In a sense,the "game" really never does end. A lot of guys think dating/relationships are like fishing.
When you go fishing,you use some bait in order to catch the fish,but once the fish is caught,you no longer need the bait. You can't do that with a woman. Whatever it was you used in order to get her is what you have to continue to use in order to keep her. If you start out generating chemistry in her,then she decides to get in a relationship with you,then after you two of you are together,you stop doing what it was that caused her to feel chemistry,her feelings will change,but she won't know why. She'll feel different,but she won't know why her feelings have changed. All she knows is at the beginning she felt one way,and now she doesn't.

I think you have chemistry/passion confused with affection. The chemistry thing is when a man makes a woman feel more like a woman. The more masculine a man is, the more feminine she'll feel. It has to do more with how a man behaves.

Affection can be caused simply by repeatedly being in someone's presence.
If you go to a convinence store 5 days a week for 2 weeks straight,and see the same person behind the checkout counter each and every time,then one day you don't show up,both you and the person behind the counter will kind of miss each other. No passion or chemistry there,just a bit of affection.

Affection by itself,is NOT ENOUGH to have a healthy,happy relationship.
A woman needs to feel chemistry from time to time. This is why you hear of women saying that "I love you,but I'm not in love with you" line.

Just my 2 pennies man. Peace.

 

[slickaz]

LTR of four years...and i agree with Don G.
The game never ends..its always on..


onto the OP.
ur friends a b!tch.
he needs to sell his 7k ring and go out and get himself some new clothes and some new h0es.
kerb this B!tch and get more pu55y than a SPCA shelter.

who the Fvk buys a 7k ring anymore man!!!!
thats an investment suicide

 

[young_gun]

Damn, a power move that failed is right.

What confuses me is that he decided to up and leave and follow his dreams and basically leave her behind. He decided that following his dreams was more important than sticking around for her, so he left. And now he's changed his mind? If he really wanted to go into real estate AND see his g/f, couldn't he have stuck around and found a real estate job close to home - giving him the best of both worlds?? I guess I just don't understand why he would up and leave like he did.