My friend and I want the same girl..

[lazybuttalented]

Over the past weekend my friend and I went out and met up with a mutual female friend to do some bar hopping. She was with a group of her friends (all girls and one girls’ bf). There was one girl that I had heard from my friend who said she was extremely attractive. She ended up being in our group, which I did not expect, but Sh1t! did she catch my eye right away!! We met her and the flirting started right away between me and her. There was consistent eye contact between me and her which went on the entire night. There was also touching, but nothing to sexual (her pressing her legs up against mine, and her putting her arm on my shoulder, leaning in close to me, getting in my face, and sharing drinks/food). Nothing to big.

The problem is, is that I noticed that my friend was starting to try harder and harder throughout the night to flirt with her as well. I knew we both liked her right when we met her but I wasn’t too sure what my friend’s intentions were for half the night. That was until he really started trying hard with her. He started to tell her he would buy her a drink, which she first said that he didn’t need to but didn’t refuse when he insisted. Aside from that he focused all of his energy on this girl.

I wanted to see what would happen when he kept trying more and more with her, so I distanced myself for the rest of the night. I knew I had clearly made a positive impression with her and I didn’t want to end up suffocating her or be seen as trying to hard, as my friend was doing. I started talking to other girls (I wasn’t really interested but it good for my social game) and other people and let the HB9 do her own socializing. She would randomly pop up here and there and would join in on the convo for bit and there would be some touching between us.

At the end of the night my friend finally randomly bought her a drink without her knowing and gave it to her. Instead of just taking it she offered it to me, which I refused but she kept offering so I ended up starting it off for her and gave it back to her. When we were leaving she got up made her way over to me and my friend and gave me a hug that lasted a bit, but only shook my
friends hand (that handshake was the only physical contact he had with her all night).

What kinda pissed me off was I thought my friend would have atleast asked her for her number which he didn’t but would not stop bringing her up for the rest of the night.

My problem here guys is I want to get her number but I don’t want to compete with my friend or make it look like I went behind his back or whatever. Personally, I feel like she was more into me than my friend. I HIGHLY doubt he’ll even try to get her number but nonetheless I was going to give him a day or two and then I’m making my move.

What are your guys’ thoughts on this?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Random thoughts here and an answer to your question.

1) Never base your actions on what a girl will think: All the talk of not wanting to suffocate her etc are fear based. While its always a good move to show a girl you just met that other girls are interested in you; in this particular case its crystal clear she has interest in you, but your fear to take action prevented things from escalating further.

2) Your friend has no game: Not only does he not have any game, he likely is desperate because usually there's a guy code between two good friends. For example, if me and a buddy like the same girl, it becomes pretty obvious who's she's more interested in, the other person will then fill the role of wing man.

3) Don't worry about getting her number in this case: Sounds like she's going to be hanging around your social circle again right? The next time you see her pick things up where they left off, and then before the end of the night, ask her to get together 1 on 1. Have a place, day and time in mind. Now I know young girls love to text, but by setting things up in person, when you two are on a high, having fun together, you will set yourself up better.


4) You are the prize: Your different, your not the typical chump like your buddy who's buying girl's drinks to get a minute of their time. Remember, as the prize, people need to win you over. Don't mistake this for being an @sshole, it simply means you do what you want and take what you want. Women are very attracted to strong men who do as they please.


Unless this guy is your best friend, I wouldn't even worry about your buddy. Don't give him the opportunity, then try next. You and this girl clearly connected and she's into you as well. Strike while the iron's hot. If you don't think you will be seeing her again within the next week or so, then I would suggest getting in contact with her and cut straight to the chase and ask her to hang out. Nothing big, just a weekday preferably and maybe go get some frozen yogurt or something chill. If she says yes, you know she's on your sack and you can confidently escalate from there.









PIMP

 

[IndeedSir]

Friends should just let each other do their thing and not ****block each other. I heard a funny story of some of my mates going out together and one of them saw this girl and said DIBS. She ended up with another mate instead. That's how the game goes sometimes! My other friend was a bit bummed but definitely no hard feelings. Just chat to him about it.

 

[lazybuttalented]

Great advice PIMP, thanks! I won't be seeing her anytime soon so I'll get in contact with her. I did definitely feel like she was into me.

 

[fieryheart]

Like pimp and pook said, You are the prize. Your friend is probably a beta fcuk who definitely wont go far with her if he actually did all those things you've mentioned. Girls are incensed and anticipatory when you shrug them off with mystery, sufficient enough for future escalations. Your friend will become the "you're such a nice guy!" type to her. Respect is all, NEVER put a woman on a pedestal. Fastest way to turn her off and put the road to friendzoneville.

 

[Uncharted]

I've had this "problem" before. It's easy.

Both game the girl, but you back off and play it cool. Let him text her all day and F it up. Then swoop in and get her out and sleep with her.

My friends know any girl that we haven't exclusively dated (as in "girlfriend" title) are all fair game. One girl that I banged also banged two of my best friends.

 

[lazybuttalented]

@ Fieryheart, it's funny that you said he'll be the "such a nice guy" type because she actually told him that near the end of the night. You're absolutely right about the pedestal stuff. I recently made that mistake with a past girl, it'll never end well.

Mistakes are how you learn.

 

[gravityeyelids]

This is tricky because as PimpScale said "2) Your friend has no game: Not only does he not have any game, he likely is desperate because usually there's a guy code between two good friends. For example, if me and a buddy like the same girl, it becomes pretty obvious who's she's more interested in, the other person will then fill the role of wing man. "

While this is true, if your friend is a beta, he might not understand this and get pissed if you go after her. If he's a friend you value your friend, talk to him about it.

 

[Yewki]

Sounds like fair game to me. You have no obligation to let your friend get first crack, but if you want to anyways you should discuss it with him instead of just waiting and seeing what happens. Why? Because if you say nothing and just wait, then go ahead... he might still get butt hurt anyways.

 

[Vice]

Sounds like fair game to me. You have no obligation to let your friend get first crack, but if you want to anyways you should discuss it with him instead of just waiting and seeing what happens. Why? Because if you say nothing and just wait, then go ahead... he might still get butt hurt anyways.

This.

Except don't even discuss it; he will get butthurt no matter what. Nothing will happen between them (the death blow was served when she said he was nice).

 

[Bingo-Player]

i used to have this problem with a "natural" friend of mine

out of our group we where perhaps the only 2 that would go for chicks and chicks would only go for us

the others are either in LTRS or just plain aint interested

we used to wing each other for a while and it worked well until we ultimately ran into the same chick we both wanted to bang

now for 80% of males what comes next is natural and i hadn't realised this until it was way to late and potentially missed out on about 4 or 5 bangs last year because of it

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

like you i used to back off a girl that me and my friend both wanted to bang even if she was giving me high interest this was because of 2 things

1) i didn't want to "fight" with my friend over a chick ( its always laughed of in the morning anyway)

2) i always used to think like you that my friend would likely end up f*ucking it up and she would fall into my arms ( this never happened the chick just wanted a bang and my friend would usually get it)

unfortunately when alcohol and a lot of it is involved the basic game rules go out the window your main priority is to get that chick into bed at the end of the night hell who wouldn't ? its natural

so even if it means very gently using your DJ skills to remove your friend out of the situation then thats what you gotta do .....take her somewhere quiet in the club , plough her full of taqulia look in her eyes , talk some sh*t ........and bobs your uncle youl be banging within the hour

simple