my first relationship

[toddC]

Okay, well let me start off by saying...since I've been on this site, I've just been getting more and more girls, and I was happy. Then abotu 2 months ago I just got the sudden urge to have a meaningful relationship with a girl and thats when Sara came into my life.

About a month ago, my friend had a party and I invited Sara's friends over. I never talked to her until that night. That following monday I got a text from her friend saying that she was interested and all taht shyt...Anywho to make a long story short we hung out the weekend after that and we hooked up. Ever since then we've been "together" which is pretty much going out without the officiality of it. We kiss in the halls at school and hang out a lot just like any other couple would.

Now here is where my question is....All I know is DJ DJ DJ. I try to play hard to get almost always and I pretty much apply my learnings from this site to everything I do with girls. And let me point out again I've NEVER had a previous relationship before this and I still play the hard to get card...Should I be doing this? And to be honest I get like quite annoyed with her because she plays the hard to get thing too, and thats annoying because I text/call her first 90% of the time.

And if I'm playing the right cards still what can I do to get her to call me or text me first.

And to put this in perspective we both really like each other.
Help me out guys!

 

[toddC]

bump

 

[six-foot AZN '05]

Never give up the chase. Keep playing the hard to get, man. You're doing awesome right now, but you might need to take it up to the next level. If you want her to initiate most of the time then you need to give her a reason to. Make her feel a certain good warm feeling when she is around you. I have yet to find a foolproof way to do this but you know, just that she needs you more than you need her.

Chill with the making out every once in a while, it will do wonders when you make a routine and then break it. She'll will be kind of confused but then the next day you get more room to sweep her off her feet. Push and pull, soon she'll be begging you for more.

Best of Luck!

 

[The Real Ice Man]

Yeah...stick to your game. The relationship will last a lot longer if you keep her interested and always leave her wanting more.

 

[LikRetsam]

Look, I'm glad the above posters have read the material on this site. However, they are wrong. Playing hard to get when the chick already has you is nothing but frustrating to her. As a consequence, she's playing the same game with you. By 'being together' you've already admitted that she has made the cut.

Getting the girl and keeping the girl are two completly different things. Act accordingly.

 

[jlazz]

Sup bro...okay I can give you firsthand experience. I was in your situation back in October. I got my girl by being C/F and unpredictable, etc. Once we were going out, I kind of played the hard to get game still and not showing 100% interest. Thats when I noticed she was ALL INTO ME. As time passed, I slowly became more attached and thats when I'd talk to her everyday and call her. She used to be the one that called me to say goodnight or just to say hello, and then it changed and I was the one doing it. Essentially, I became clingy and had to talk to her everyday. This didn't cause a problem w/ our relationship, the problem was I didn't show enough emotions to her. She thought I was only w/ her for the sex. She broke up w/ me, yada yada and it hurt, then I realized...what an idiot...who cares move on, now that I look back, I have no regrets and learned a lot. But...I still haven't gotten a girl since then because I haven't given an effort. The opportunities aren't available, so I have to go out looking for them.

My Advice: Continue to play hard to get, but also show her your emotions. Do it in a way where you aren't like the millions of chumps out there who write poems and call their gf 24/7. Let her know that you care of her, but at the same time, keep your priorities in check (she shouldnt be ur #1 priority). Also..make sure you keep other girls on the side, because when the time comes that you or her break up, it'll be a lot easier and you won't feel the wrath that comes w/ a 1st breakup. GL man.

 

[sexy_kuta]

^^^ jlazz im sorry to hear that man

but no offence but i think she lied to you..

when u said u became all cliingy and stuff. like called her alot

i think thats where u went wrong. she used the excuse that you werent showing enough emotions? that doesnt make much sense

u probably found better i bet

as for the first relationship.. u will learn lots after in trust me..

your in for a big suprise, just play it cool.. dont get too much involved.
keep playing hard to get but sometimes lay it off for a few days..

and as the months go by u can slowly get more involved into the relationship
IE, calling her, giving her roses..

just look after yourself first and dont be a puppy and following her,
i did soo many stupid **** with my first girl, for an example i would be eating and she calls.. i would stop eating to talk to her, but the right thing would be.. "i'll call you back, im eating"

i hope you understand what im trying to get at but good luck, i hope everything goes well for the two of you

 

[jlazz]

Yeah, after we brokeup, 2 weeks later I found out she was back w/ her ex. It was a combination of things, but either way, I'm over it and learned from it. I only was w/ her for the sex anyway even though I became clingy, but thats natural since she was my first real gf. Also, she was the only girl in my life.

^^^ jlazz im sorry to hear that man

but no offence but i think she lied to you..

when u said u became all cliingy and stuff. like called her alot

i think thats where u went wrong. she used the excuse that you werent showing enough emotions? that doesnt make much sense

u probably found better i bet

as for the first relationship.. u will learn lots after in trust me..

your in for a big suprise, just play it cool.. dont get too much involved.
keep playing hard to get but sometimes lay it off for a few days..

and as the months go by u can slowly get more involved into the relationship
IE, calling her, giving her roses..

just look after yourself first and dont be a puppy and following her,
i did soo many stupid **** with my first girl, for an example i would be eating and she calls.. i would stop eating to talk to her, but the right thing would be.. "i'll call you back, im eating"

i hope you understand what im trying to get at but good luck, i hope everything goes well for the two of you

 

[The Real Ice Man]

No, Likretsam, YOU'RE wrong. I imagine you're in a relationship right now where you're telling the girl how you feel all the time and buying her little teddy bears and all that cutesy **** and although you may be getting positive results now, trust me...it's only temporary. That **** will get old and she'll break up with you. But feel free to lie to yourself (and others) about how your "100% out-there" strategy works!

 

[October]

No, Likretsam, YOU'RE wrong. I imagine you're in a relationship right now where you're telling the girl how you feel all the time and buying her little teddy bears and all that cutesy **** and although you may be getting positive results now, trust me...it's only temporary. That **** will get old and she'll break up with you. But feel free to lie to yourself (and others) about how your "100% out-there" strategy works!

I disagree...you're making assumptions. Playing games...is that what you want your girl to do with you? Those "games"...if you want to play them at all (which I don't advocate)...are only meant to build interest. Not playing games does not equate with losing self-confidence.

 

[The Real Ice Man]

They're not games...it's quite simple...I actually AM too busy to spend every waking hour with a girl, I HAVE hobbies and **** TO DO...so of course I'm not going to pay a ton of attention to her. The problem with a lot of you guys is that you have to fake disinterest because you in reality have no lives.

 

[Fender]

"It depends..."

There isn't a single mindset/strategy you can play to win. There is no magic pill.

"Seduction is a two dimensional problem that sometimes require you to be warm and sometimes to be cold. Being a PUA is really about knowing when to be which." -Juggler

A month of being together...thats quite a bit of time already. You guys should really be getting into the "comfort" stage of your relationship now. Toddc, I'd recommend you stop calling her- control yourself! But really, other than that, you shouldn't be doing any "hard to get" cr@p. Here's two reasons for that:

a) You'll be moving "backwards" in your relationship. Loads of DJ's seem to forget relationships are built in comfort. Attraction isn't just built on sexual tension/chasing, it can also be built in comfort. Remeber that.

b) It's no fun for you.

But remember, theres a difference between not playing hard to get, and supplicating. Supplicators kiss :moon:

G'luck man. And most f*ckin importantly...have fun!

 

[LikRetsam]

No, Likretsam, YOU'RE wrong. I imagine you're in a relationship right now where you're telling the girl how you feel all the time and buying her little teddy bears and all that cutesy **** and although you may be getting positive results now, trust me...it's only temporary. That **** will get old and she'll break up with you. But feel free to lie to yourself (and others) about how your "100% out-there" strategy works!

What the hell is this? A flame? You call this flaming? This is terrible. You have no material besides what you invented. The most entertaining part of your post was seeing my name in it. Learn to troll dumb ass so that I'm atleast entertained by your petty attempts at drama. Otherwise, you have effectively shown how much of a genuine retard you are. In fact you are just a cheap imitation of a genuine retard because he on the other hand would have some dirt on me and would have been funny.

If you don't mind, could you give me some tips too? I've been all over the site countless times but I haven't quite found that golden post about how to make a complete ass out of myself. Look through your bookmarks and hook me up. Hell, you must know it all by heart and must have ran it through your head so many times that you could just spit it out now. I mean you're so good at it you can pull off being stupid all at the same time.

But seriously, could you please lecture us on how to get girls the REAL ice man?

Dumb ass.

 

[DJsparky]

Everyone has made some good points on this subject. The best thing to be is a mixture of both, mix playing hard to get with a bit of emotion now and then. Dont be predictable, if your always playing hard to get then it's not going to pay off. With my gf sometimes i play hard to get, the next day i ring her to ask how she is yadda ya, next time i tease, next time i make her laugh, next time i give her the cold shoulder, but the most important thing is to never keep the same mindset. Girls like a rollercoaster of personalitys, never be one personality and try to mix and match, keep her on her toes and remember she needs to know your fun to be with.

 

[applaya]

don't really play hard to get. she allready has you it seems. Which is too soon in my opinion to start a relationship. You just met her.

You say you text her 90% of the time? That's too much. Tone it down. Don't kiss her in the halls in school. Don't even see her so much in school. You 2 need some distance and to not talk on the phone or with texts all the time. Is that playing hard to get? I don't think so. But let her miss you. And don't tolerate her games. If she never calls you don't call her.

 

[shydude]

Just okay the hard ball.. Dont let her win. Always react to her as u dont need her. Like u dnt care if she dumps u or doesnt call u.. And make her jelious, DO something stuped like bang her friend.. That was she will be jelious as HELL...

 

[dannowillbookem]

relationships ****ed my game over big time, which is why i was gone forever and now i'm back.

step it up. you gotta keep fresh, and follow ac/dc's philosophy and dont be scared to flirt with other girls and **** while you have a girlfriend. you do what you want, but you decide what level you'll take it to in that department.

tips....dont ever show jealousy, just flat out tell her if she's cozying too much with other guys that it needs to stop or you'll be gone. and soon will be a good time to give a taste, just a taste, of a deeper side to you. a well placed comment about a deepset spite of your father or whatever is your deeper issue that everyone has will flirt with her need to be close...an area she doesnt know of will drive her mad.

 

[BrandoCommando]

Everyone has made some good points on this subject. The best thing to be is a mixture of both, mix playing hard to get with a bit of emotion now and then. Dont be predictable, if your always playing hard to get then it's not going to pay off. With my gf sometimes i play hard to get, the next day i ring her to ask how she is yadda ya, next time i tease, next time i make her laugh, next time i give her the cold shoulder, but the most important thing is to never keep the same mindset. Girls like a rollercoaster of personalitys, never be one personality and try to mix and match, keep her on her toes and remember she needs to know your fun to be with.

Exactly, you said it! You are the PRIZE!

 

[LikRetsam]

step it up. you gotta keep fresh, and follow ac/dc's philosophy and dont be scared to flirt with other girls and **** while you have a girlfriend. you do what you want, but you decide what level you'll take it to in that department.

tips....dont ever show jealousy, just flat out tell her if she's cozying too much with other guys that it needs to stop or you'll be gone. and soon will be a good time to give a taste, just a taste, of a deeper side to you. a well placed comment about a deepset spite of your father or whatever is your deeper issue that everyone has will flirt with her need to be close...an area she doesnt know of will drive her mad.

Flirt with other girls... What? Do we have the same definition of a girlfriend? So far it sounds like you are talking about a fukbuddy. Last I checked, a relationship was a commitment to one person. Flirting with other chicks shows so many levels of insecurity... You're showing you want more attention from her. You're telling her that you don't even care that she's bothered etc. I mean the list goes on. Why the hell would you do it?

Part B is even better. THREATEN her to arouse interest? I don't even want to begin to imagine what chicks you've had to deal with. If you don't like your girlfriend flirting with other guys, tell her so. You are not showing strength by warning her about your 'dark side'. Quite the contrary. And why even beat around the bush at this stage?

Just okay the hard ball.. Dont let her win. Always react to her as u dont need her. Like u dnt care if she dumps u or doesnt call u.. And make her jelious, DO something stuped like bang her friend.. That was she will be jelious as HELL...

You are just dumb.

Anyways, OP, you say you are playing hard to get but so is she. You also say that she is winning because you make most of the moves. Consider that she doesn't make the moves because she knows you will or that she simply doesn't want to be talking to you that often. Be happy to be in the relationship but try to act less dependent of it. Hell, just have some fun.

 

[applaya]

word to that last post.

the only thing I would add is always be prepeared to leave her if you feel you need to. don't threaten to though. she has to know you will leave her if she does you wrong without you ever telling her that.