My First post...hopefully my last

[onthepath]

a long post, but i want you "informed" people to give me some accurate advice

i've been reading on these boards for almost 5 months now
at the begnning of my studies at uni, i was a loser, in every essence of the word
i had no friends, no guy friends, hella no female friends
i saw the people around me making friends and laughin, all the while i'd sit at the back of the lecture theatre, with my headphones on, wishing someone would talk to me

fast forward 6 months, second semester
i had now noticed that there were many guys who were in all my classes, undertaking my exact same degree. i started there by making friends

christmas holidays - 3 month break. i hit the gym, picked up sports. i found myself playing less and less computer games, and just hanging out with my friends - guys at this point

by the start of second year uni, i had a solid friend base. we talked about girls a lot, and my friends were much more DJ than i was. they started introducing me to girls, and taking me to their parties. all well and good
my natural confidence and self esteem was growing, and i was no longer intimidated by any women. hell, i wasn't even intimidated by those thuggish gangster idiots who would start a fight over a toothpick

but come second sesmter of second year, i started to plateau
i stopped meeting girls, and just hung out with my still good friends

now, i'm a third year uni student. my timetable is very bad, to say th least, and i know almost noone in my classes
i've been at uni only 2 weeks so far, so there's still a chance for me, cause i reckon that if you don't form anything by the end of third week, you're gone. my problem is that i do'nt know how to meet people. for the past year or so, i've relied on my fr iends to introduce me, say some interesting **** about both of us, and we were able to continue the conversation from there

i do'nt want to revert back to the loser i was at theh start of uni. i've got my **** together, now i just need to apply it. they say that 93% of conversation is non-verbal. i'm sure i've got at least 80% of that down. i never back down in eye contact - i've found that by looking directly into her pupil, it sends her wild and flustered (i love it)
i'm good looking, well built, but not bulky. i wear nice clothes, smell very nice, and am great with the girls i already know

i've foudn that i can approach someone in a social situation, where there's a live band or something, cause i can lead the conversation onto that, and let it roll from there
but in the classroom, i do'nt even know where to begin
i've seen the AFCs around me, (hell i'm turning into one anyway)
who cluster around the hot babes and do'nt so anything except try to look cool, and try to perve down her mini-skirt
i've seen a few of the gutsy ones bomb out, talking to her about lame school ****, and the professor and what not, and even cause her to move during breaks and whatever - not directly, the aussies here are different that way, although not arrogant, they're much nicer

so please, anyone who can help me. i just need to know how the first 5 minutes of a conversation go, espeically in the buildilng rapport stage. once i'm over that hill, i'm in my own league. i've read the bible and done searches related to college posts, but i haven't found anything that works in a lecture environment

what type of questions do you ask? i know the how to ask it, i do'nt know what to ask, that bloody 7% has my worried

and lastly, please none of that how would you feel talking to me in your undies sort of stuff. that doesn't really work here in AU. believe me, i've tried, and i've seen many people try this, and other canned lines. the girls here just give a strange look, and either turn their back to talk to friends, pull out a mobile and walk off, as though to tell someone wha thappened, or just stare blankyl at you, and then out the window. girls here are more timid, and from what my friends tell me, they're only willing to talk to you, if the conversation is such that she won't get embarassed by other people listening - one of my she-friends told me that

hopefully, with enough replies before monday, i will never post here again

 

[Wyldfire]

Just ask them if they have a rubber you can use.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Me and a freind were in a bar once and saw a group of girls, he's a complete AFC so I had to do the work.

Me: Hi, me and my mate saw you two were having fun so we thought we'd join the party.

Got the number off the one I liked best as well.

In a class situation, just start by relating it to the class then quickly go off topic:

Me: So what do you reckon to the first couple weeks of the course?

Her: Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla

Me: So you like Uni then?

Her: Bla Bla Bla Bla

Me: So what town are you from originally?

Her: Bla Bla Bla Bla

Me: Oh I've been there before, it's really nice.

Her: Yeah it is

And carry the conversation on from there.

 

[onthepath]

anything a little more detailed?
like because i haven't approached people as such, i do'nt understand the logistics of this - how it's supposed to work

in my head, it goes something like this:

me: hi, what's your name?
her: sexy chick
me: hi sexy chick, my name is DJ in training. nice to meet you (usually a handshake at htis point)

now this is where i get stuck
i know that in the intial stages, espeically when the girl isn't in a social environment and expecting to be picked up, let alone approached, i have to carry the conversation, just until she warms up

that's what worries me, i really do'nt know what to keep talking about for the first 5mins, until it really becomes a convo

 

[onthepath]

come on guys
please help me out here

 

[MindOverMatter]

man get to know them, it's not hard

if it's a psychology class, ask them if psych is their major.

if it's their major, ask them what year they're in, how they like it, what they plan to do with it once they graduate.

if they tell you they wanna be a shrink, ask them what made them decide to do that, when they decided. was it a childhood dream, or a recent goal?

are they from the city, or out of town? if they're from out of town, ask them if they travel a lot, if they're from the city, ask them if they're bored of living here, ask them if they travel.

if they say they do, ask them where they've been, how the trip was, what they liked the most about it, what they hated about it.

etc etc, just keep the ball rolling, make light conversation, and just be friendly. then at the end of the class, DON'T number close her. tell her it was fun meeting her, and that you'll see her around. next class, sit next to a different girl & repeat the situation. girl #1 should see you, and that will raise your value in her eyes. keep up the process for a few days, then once u've had enough, chose which one you wanna sit next to.

the only things you need are:

1.) you have to be attractive

2.) you have to be smooth at conversation. carry the transitions well, don't stutter, don't have awkward silences, BE FRIENDLY. don't try to pick her up, act as if you already have a girlfriend and you're just talking to her for fun, don't look at her as a potential hook up, just treat her like a normal girl, but BE FRIENDLY.

3.) maintain eyecontact + smile every once in a while (make sure it's a genuine smile), make a joke every once in a while about something she says (make sure it's in good taste), or a c&f comment.

edit - DON"T BOMBARD THEM WITH QUESTIONS. remember, be friendly, smooth, etc don't make it seem like an interrogation. and listen to what they say, make a note of it, etc.

 

[Sanity_Cleaver]

Ive been in your shoes before so i know how it feels (and being a Sydney boy i know what aussie girls are like too)- so heres what you do.

Its all just a basic confidence/people skills thing really. Ever notice how all the confident people never say anything boring during a conversation and all the timid ones stall their arses off?

Thats what it basically is.

To get over it- RELAX. Talking to a stranger is not the end of the world as we know it, all you have to do is stop being so tense and act natrual. Act as if you know the person already- 'how you today' and so on. Then, when the conversation seems like its about to stall, save it by saying the FIRST THING THAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD. Doesnt matter how stupid or bizarre it sounds, as long as it isnt one of two things

-Boring

-Delivered without confidence

Seriously, thats how you start a conversation- it builds up from whatever you said. I saved stalled convos with 'whats your favourite animal?' and so on. Might seem a bit weird to her at first, but if youre funny and confident, a natrual conversation will spring form it. Hell, i told a girl i was a werewolf once for lack of anything better to say! So dont go whinging that you cant because its p1ss easy. And after she stopped laughing i showed her my extra hairy legs and said 'ooh look im transforming already!' and she laughed some more, which led to a conversation about waxing- which is not something most peope talk about with a stranger. So that works- and its good because it makes you memorable too. I met one of my girlfirends with the opening of 'where did all the statues leave their underwear?'

So thats all you really have to do- just dont give a **** about it and what you say, and just RELAX. And make sure you throw in lots of humour too. Watch an hour of comedy a day to make yourself funny- humour is best learnt through observation.
Theres no magic formula, but just relaxing (and tickling their funny bone) is about as close as youre gonna get.

And remember, practice. If youre not comfortable talking to strangers, youre going to be a lot more when the strangers are hot women. Start with the old guy behind the counter at Caltex.

 

[cave dweller]

no.........

Hey,

Do you have?

A good education.......no
A good job..................no
Own your own home.........no
A nice girlfriend...................no
Investments.......................no
Buy new automobiles for cash..............no

But,

You state you are not coming to this web site any more.

Hell, this site will help you become a better man and achieve some of your goals.

(there is more to this web site than just learning how to chase pvssy)

my 2 cents

cave dweller

 

[I-am-someone]

Good post, Sanity Cleaver. Listen to him, onthepath.