My First Head-On Rejection

smashingpumpkins

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Hey guys, I'm new to this forum, so I guess I'll start off by introducing myself and why I'm here, then I'll explain what happened last night.

My name is Layne, I'm 19 years old, and I'm a virgin, and I've never really done anything with a girl past making out. My new years goal was to go out and get laid, and try not being so shy around girls, especially good looking ones.

But, here is what happened last night. I went with my friend to his girlfriends house, and she had a friend over. We brought 2 cases of beer, and we were just hanging out, playing kings and beer pong, and I was talking to her, getting to know her and everything, I have her laughing and I think she is enjoying herself, and I'm feeling like I could possibly have a chance. So, towards the end of the night we're all watching the movie 300 - my friend and his girlfriend are sitting infront of us, and me and girl are sitting behind them. I just kept thinking this is where I need to make a move, and my heart was pounding like hell! So I made a promise to myself that after this certain scene in 300 I would make a move. After the scene passed, I leaned over, and I said that I thought she was cute, and I really wanted to kiss her - I know this might not have been the best line to use but I just went off the top of my head. She said she had a boyfriend and all this other stuff, so I was just ****! And I lent back over, and was watching the movie, and my friends girlfriend went to the bathroom, and the girl followed her, and then they came back, and went upstairs - which is kind of ackward, and left me feeling pretty ****ty. So I watched the rest of the movie with my friend, and I went home.

So can you guys anaylze this situation? Any suggestions and helpful tips would be great. I hope to learn a lot from this experience, and I'm looking forward to what you guys say. Please don't sugar coat anything!

Thanks guys.
 

CaptainJ

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The Girl felt awkward about you asking to kiss her and went to gossip about it with your friend's girlfriend.

First mistake, you made a big deal out of kissing her, you were nervous and it clearly showed, turning the girl off. Second mistake, you said you wanted to kiss her, putting the girl in an awkward position. Don't ask to kiss girls, just do it. Although this is not a situation i would have tried it in. Your environment was too intimate and friendly to try and make a move. You were just 4 friends hanging out.
 

Prodigy746

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I think you made a mistake when you asked to kiss her.
IMO you should have said "Hey, you seem like a cool/fun girl let me get your number and ill give you a call sometime". Not saying that would have worked on this particual girl especially if she had a boyfriend but it would have definitely made things less ackword. Many guys put too much emphesis on a kiss which is fine in a club environment BUT....

When a girl is with her best friend and is not drunk, its very rare that she is just going to start making out with a random guy. Remember girls are afraid of being perceived as SLUTS and if they cant blame it on alcohol than they prolly wont do it.

After you made the comment she probobly felt bad and didnt want to sit next to you especially if you stopped talking to her. Thats prolly why she went with her friend up stairs. I dont know this is my theory...You are doing good by trying and sticking to your goals buddy. Dont give up and remember... rejection is part of the game .
 

dap

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The girl doesn't have a boyfriend, she just wanted to say no in a nice way. Asking to kiss the girl is kind of a high stakes escalation. You should have built it up a bit. If you two were on a couch, maybe grab a blanket and share it with her. Then, move closer to her and try to gauge if she is comfortable with you. Maybe try to put your arm around her. This may be as far as you get during the movie. Movies aren't a good way for strangers to get comfortable with each other. After the movie, you should try to isolate her (bring her to another room to grab a beer, etc), talk with her some more, read/respond to her body language, touch her hair, and then give her an innocenct kiss without asking. If you don't get this far, then number close and try again later.
 

Ollie

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Fvck it. Maybe she really does have a boyfriend. Or maybe she just wasn't into you. It's not the end of the world. Better off finding out where you stand the way you did than ask for her number and if she gives it to you hanging out with her again and still having her feel the same way. I think number closes are gay cause a lot of girls feel bad saying no and will just give it out anyways even if they don't like you, hence all the threads about how good the night went and they got her number but she didn't answer the call or she flaked out or she hung out with them but was distant. Granted I would have tried to kiss her without asking...it's always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission...but doing what you did is a good way to qualify girls and weed out the ones who have other stuff going on and no time left for you/no attraction towards you.

Only thing is you probably should have worked on building more attraction before kissing came up. Don't ever set a time limit like you did...waiting for a certain part of a movie makes no sense to me. I understand where you were coming from...setting a deadline to make sure you made your move and didn't chicken out...but next time wait until it's more of a natural situation. Like right after you made her laugh really hard or something. Girls act on emotion. I'd rather have a girl pissed off at me than just complacent and bored. For someone just starting out I say you did fine. Your confidence will only grow with each encounter and you learn exponentially more from failures than you do successes. Keep it up. At least you had the balls to try.
 

6-heads lewis

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dap said:
The girl doesn't have a boyfriend, she just wanted to say no in a nice way. Asking to kiss the girl is kind of a high stakes escalation. You should have built it up a bit. If you two were on a couch, maybe grab a blanket and share it with her. Then, move closer to her and try to gauge if she is comfortable with you. Maybe try to put your arm around her. This may be as far as you get during the movie. Movies aren't a good way for strangers to get comfortable with each other. After the movie, you should try to isolate her (bring her to another room to grab a beer, etc), talk with her some more, read/respond to her body language, touch her hair, and then give her an innocenct kiss without asking. If you don't get this far, then number close and try again later.

haha your name is dap. dap rules. i think sandra romain takes it the best.
 

daygameguy

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Did you even talk to her before the kiss?

Did you build any level of rapport or attraction.. did she even know your name?

If you did have some attraction, some chemistry clicking among the 2 of you.. then my only advice would be to learn some sexual escalation.
 

dap

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6-heads lewis said:
haha your name is dap. dap rules. i think sandra romain takes it the best.
I have no idea what you are talking about. Thanks tho
 

46and2aheadofme

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Originally Posted by 6-heads lewis
dap = double anal penetration. lol.
dap said:
:crackup:

LMAO....That's fuking great
 

smashingpumpkins

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Thanks you so much guys for the great advice! I'm not regretting what I did, because it was a big step for me in my opinion. Obviously, I executed it all wrong, and was way too aggressive I think. Next time, hopefully, I'll be bette prepared, and play my cards better.

Just like to add a few things.

I made a big deal about the kiss for two reasons. One was obviously, I wanted to kiss her. The other, was I was afraid that this would be the end of our night. As she was with a blanket and pillow watching the movie, I was afraid that she was going to fall asleep, so I wanted to make a move before that happened. And also, she does have a boyfriend. I've talked with a couple of my friends about it, and they all said that she had a boyfriend. I'm not hung up on her or anything, though. I go back to school next week, so I'll probably never see her again.

Thanks for all the advice, I won't stop trying!
 
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