My First Great Cold Approach

[guitaronfire411]

FYI, I'm 22. This girl might be 18 ~ 22 tops. I'm probably a 7, 7.5. I rate her as a 7~8.5.

Tonight (Friday):

1) Worked out.
2) Asked her when the gym closed. (she had put the phone aside and smiled at me). Had great eye contact. We both smiled and she wished me a good night. Left around X:05PMish because too many people were around to chat.
3) (Not happy with what I did) Walked around for about 30 minutes and managed to build up the courage to return around X:40ish.
3) Returned to where she worked.
4) She asked,"Did you come back to workout again?"
5) Asked relatively calmly something like, "Do you have a few minutes to talk?"
6) She said that there's a <blah blah> tomorrow (while carrying some brochures and placing them down)
that I have to get done. She apologized

7) (doh) There was a odd moment or two. Sort of blurted out "Are you single?" (doh)
8) She said that she was seeing someone right now. Apologized again (I think), and said slowly "But thanks for the compliment."
(She might have said, "But it's nothing serious either at this point or later, after I told her to write down her number. Damn sensory memory!
9) I pressed further. I said something like, "Well, how about you write down your number? Just incase if things don't turn out too well for you with that other guy.
(I don't remember if the exact words. Yes, not very DJish.)

10) She quickly went behind the counter and started looking.
I mentioned that I had a pen with me and she said that she was looking for a piece of paper.

11) I said something like, "Ah. I have some spare paper with me from transactions."

12) She quickly wrote down her name and number. I mentioned something like, "You never know what life will turn out like." (referring to
her seeing this other guy "no(thing) seriously".

13) I shook her hand (still a bit in disbelief at what I had just done) for some kino
and mentioned, "My name is XXX." She said her name was YYY. "Nice to meet you, XXX."

14) (can't remember the order to this... might have been here)
"I can come in and talk sometime. I usually workout a lot during the week. What days do you usually work?"

15) She said something like "I'm usually here on UUU and ZZZ days, and have (memory a bit fuzzy here) time to talk a lot."

15) I smiled (I think) and walked away saying my goodbyes. She glanced back over her shoulder and smiled at me
as she walked in the other direction behind the counter. I calmly walked out of there.

How did I do, my fellow DJ's?

Edit: Btw, this is guitaronfire. I've been around here every year or two, gradually observing and gaining field experience. I'd use my old account if I remembered the password.

 

[Anomalous]

Not bad. But i can say see was in to you or she wasn't. When you DJ's give field reports you need to gvie more details, like she blused, she was anxious to give the number, she seemed boared and i was the only one there, she was just doing her job, she had a lot of enery/excited, etc.

But i say you have a chance with her. The thing about give me your number in case it doesn't work out. Did she have resistance, did she look at you weird. Or did she seem happy to give it to you.

But overall i say it was pretty good.

 

[guitaronfire411]

Thanks for the quick reply.

As for details, she seemed to get behind the counter fairly fast (not too fast to be a bad thing, IMO) and was quick to write down her number.

She didn't seem anxious, but then again, the fact that she might be bringing up "another guy" is to get me moving in faster. (From what other DJs have said about similiar situations - ie. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16559&highlight=********+compliment)

She didn't give a weird look at far as I remember, nowhere near bored. It seemed to me (although this is a human fallacy to assume) that she mentioned another guy just to impress or try to pseudo-DJ me. Yes, it was only her and I nearby late at night (almost 10pm).

I had the same feeling when she said 'Nice to meet, you [myname]" as when the last time I had a professional woman say, "Is this [XXX] speaking? Thank you, XXX' over the phone. Just a hunch, but I trust my intuition.

 

[stalluproar]

Not too bad for a cold approach. Yes things could be done better, but that is what learning is about.

It seemed the flow was not congruent. The whole interaction seemed choppy instead of fluent. You can learn all the lines in the world, congruency will come with time.

 

[Dr Box]

man sounds like you did ok, more practice will give you a better flow, the only thing I dont like was the whole hand shaking thing, I do believe in kino it is just there are other ways to do it then shake hands.....but otherwise well done.

 

[milkman]

Great.

You were still gone, but you came back to approach her. Congratulations dude, you are on the right road.

 

[guitaronfire411]

Phoned her up today (Sunday; previous events occurred on a Friday).

I went over some of the texts on here and most of the mature DJ's (Vassago, etc.) suggested phoning early -- 2 days -- instead of 3 or 4. It surprises the girl and shows you mean business if you can pull it off. I think I sounded confident and in charge the entire time.

Anyways, the convo went like this:

me: Hi. Is XXX there?
her: Who is this?
me: This is [my name here].
her: Oh, hi. (she was pretty quiet on the phone with me -- when she was talking to someone else at work, I noticed that she was very loud)
me: Just to let you know, if you overhear anyone talking, it's my neighbours. I'm outside at the moment.
me: How are you feeling?
her: Pretty good (I think)
me: So what's the most fun thing you've ever done?
her: ... I dunno. ... What about you?
me: I went to blah blah with one of my best friends in high school. He was really into [ride] and convinced me to go on [ride]. So we went on ALL the blah-blah rides. It was A LOT of fun.
her: Okay. I have to get going to work in a bit.
me: Okay. What's your plans for Wednesday evening?
her: I have soccer ....... (couldn't hear her after this because she was so quiet...)
me: (unhindered and sounding somewhat doubtful/mocking) Does that take up the whole night?
her: She said something like, "But I'll still talk to you the next time you are in."
me: (****ed up a bit here) Ok. Goodbye.

Thus, I assume I either next her or start ignoring the hell out of her. Can it be a bad thing to be too bold?

I don't want a LJBF B.S. relationship.

Edit: Removed my name.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

I hate to tell you, but I don't think you have the interest level high enough for ignoring to even work.

her: ... I dunno. ... What about you?
me: I went to blah blah with one of my best friends in high school. He was really into [ride] and convinced me to go on [ride]. So we went on ALL the blah-blah rides. It was A LOT of fun.
her: Okay. I have to get going to work in a bit.

Talking about yourself does not interest a woman. I know you tried to talk about her, and she said I dunno, but I would have teased her and told her she must be a boring person or something like that....
I also wouldn't ask her what her plans are, but rather tell her your plans and invite her to come along if she wants. Right now you're playing by her rules, and you need to quickly switch it around. Your best option in my opinion is to go to the gym some more and ignore her like you said, and if possible, be seen with other women or flirting with all the other women there, because that is pretty powerful. THEN she might get off her ass and attempt to meet you halfway instead of making you do all the work. Remember, never chase, and never push women if they give you resistance. You're doing fine, keep it up.

 

[guitaronfire411]

I just got back from the gym. At least she isn't lying (yet). She might have been there when I arrived... I didn't really care. After my workout, I walked out without looking her way and kept on going. She was talking to some middle aged women about I-could-care-less.

If she isn't interested in providing a second option, I'm not going to waltz around her. I'm going to tango with someone else into the bedroom.

I talked about my experience because I wanted her to associate me with fun times, and to get her to open up. It didn't seem to work.

(I am in 2nd year Psychology, and I'm learning about social relationships at the moment. It's a funny coincidence.)

Is there any chance that I'm intimidating this girl by coming on too strong too fast? I've essentially kicked her to the curb for now after her bad behaviour. Should I try talking to her in a week again?

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Yeah, wait a while before talking to her again. Coming on too strong will kill you QUICKLY, and that's probably what happened. Time cures everything though.
2nd year psychology huh, bet that is interesting.... I am in psychology right now as well, but I have to tell you that nothing we have learned is useful in getting women, and I doubt they would even teach that sort of thing.... this crap is more complicated than what they teach, haha. Freud couldn't even figure it out, so why should they?

 

[guitaronfire411]

After pwning a girl, I was thinking about DJish things to do to this girl after ignoring her for a while:

(approach her with a smile)

me: Hi <girlname>. I don't think it'll workout between us. You see, you have no personality, your face is crooked, and I think a bit of your hair on the left side is falling out (leans forward to check). Yep, it definitely is.