My Final Appeal to a Girl

[julym]

I'm no DJ, let me admit at the outset. But things can't get worst than what it is right now. Here is my last e-mail to a girl that I've dated. Flame me as you wish, but I'm putting it out to see if ANYONE might be moved by real emotions rather than concocted confidence. If you don't hear from me, it's all but certain that this "final appeal" has failed. But if this girl cares at all for genuine human emotions, I hope she will know that this is from the heart...Let me know what you think.

Dear “GIRL”,

I don’t know how to say this in a less awkward manner, but you have left a deep impression upon me, and I am pained that you apparently do not feel the way that I do about you. I like you. I can’t say “I love you”—it wouldn’t be fair or appropriate for me to say so because I do not know you well enough. But ever since I came across your blog, and the indignities and frustration you have gone through, I feel that your feelings have struck a chord in me. I have gone through the same ordeal; I feel as though I have known you for quite some time. I feel that I know your thoughts, your likes and dislikes, and we share a lot of common interests. I care about what you feel.

This is a disastrous way to go about this, I know, and I’m a bit—elevated let’s say, on scotch at the moment. I think I will even regret this once I've sent out this message. But this doesn’t take away the fact that I really like you and want very much to see you again.

I felt that when we met last time we had a good conversation. I enjoyed our email correspondences. I am—to be honest—infatuated with “GIRL”—or at least the idea of “GIRL”. I really—genuinely—enjoyed your company. I really miss it. I haven’t felt that way with other women for quite some time. I’m not afraid to admit it. You asked—on your blog—where you can find real people who take feelings to heart. That entry of yours created a deep echo within me. I feel as though I have finally come across someone who has understood what it is all about—not about driving a nice car or living in a big house, but someone who as genuine feelings, someone who has a heart. I am just a simple man who enjoys the simple pleasures of life. I’ve always thought it would be so wonderful to cook a meal with someone, and to share in the joy (and even hassles!) of cooking and sharing. I wish I could prepare for you my best dish, a piece of rip eye steak (of course, only if you like steaks I wish I could take a long walk with a woman who is sensitive to feelings, to my touch. I’m so sick of the fickle, capricious people that I have come across… If you have heard of Sarah Brightman's "Deliver Me"--I think that best describes the way that I feel right now.

When you talked about your thoughts on gift-giving, I was one hundred percent with you.

I wish we could take a walk on the stone arch bridge, hand-in-hand, and bask in the summer night breeze. I really want to reach out and touch you in your loneliness. If I don’t hear from you again, I understand what that means... But I’m afraid I can’t hide these feelings from you—or even from myself.

Yours Sincerely,
"Julym"

 

[Phyzzle]

Here is my last e-mail to a girl that I've dated. Flame me as you wish, but I'm putting it out to see if ANYONE might be moved by real emotions rather than concocted confidence.

So you're not asking for advice or anything, you just put this here to get flamed? Okay.

 

[The Juan and only]

I dunno, this post is bit beyond flaming.

There's so much to say it isn't worth it. I just kinda feel sorry for him.

Look, If you don't want advice, then send whatever the hell you want to whomever the hell you wish.

hey, it might even make you feel better for a little while.


p.s my advice would be to post something like this on some "girl problems" forum, not sosuave. Unless of course you're a glutton for punishment.

 

[typical]

Well heres your first flame lover boy.

You sent an email like this to a girl you like ?? um are you retarded ?? did you actually ever go out with this person or just fall in love with the image of her in your head and your fvcked up little fantasy of you and her in a house living happily ever after ??

Shes a girl bro they say one fvcken thing and mean the exact opposite. Good job you just messed up any chance of you ever getting with said girl ever.

Right now if you were my bro or my mate I'd smack one across ya face. Next time you like a girl and crap happens don't send her a "feel sorry for doing this to me and fall in love with me" type letter and just man the hell up and find another girl.

If she's worth the time she'll comeback if not screw it another 3 billion chicks to choose from.

Edit : Damn my 4th edit, Dude right now just turn that PC off and go call up a few mates and go play some sports on the field or some pool it'll freshen ya up.

BTW delete all her contact info cause you sound like your gonna get obsessed with this chick if your not already.

 

[##17]

Wow. The thing that amazes me about these kinds of letters/emails is that each guy who writes one thinks he is being totally unique--while in reality they all sound the same. Save this and reread it in a few years. You'll agree with the rest of us that this sounds totally pathetic.

I can empathize though. Been there, done that once when I was younger. Sent a letter similar in spirit to yours (email still wasn't that widely used back in the early 90's). Of course nothing good came out of it. My friends did try to talk me out of sending the letter but I didn't listen. You see, I thought that they were a bunch of brutes who wouldn't understand how `special' this girl was.

Well, they actually were right. So what most other people have been saying--move on. Go to the gym and work out like a mofo. If you're a student, throw yourself into your studies. Hang out on this forum and read other guys' experiences and successes. You'll see what works with women.

 

[Slevin]

I've edited my response like, 5 times. I truly don't know what to say.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Something is very wrong. If you write an email. why bother with all that dramatical kind of language. I used it in my university application form and it went down well, but i was not considring a relationship with the addmisions tutor (as lovely as he is )

You really need to cut the chase with your letters, dont be so 'mushy'

You might think that a girl will like you because she sees you love her, but only a desprate girl with 'problems' who never got shown enough love by mummy and daddy would do this.

Why else do you think that chasing a girl kills your chances.

 

[PUA in Training]

I can't flame you because I've been exactly where you are: with a OneItis so bad that it virtually robs you of every ounce of testosterone in your body. I've done the "I love you, I can't live without you, please love me" thing. Take it from a guy who's been where you are and has STARTED to realize the error of my ways (I still have a LONG way to go): these guys are giving you the best advice you can get about this matter.

I only wish I had gotten into this board before I laid out my feelings in a similar fashion to my OneItis. I know when a guy has OneItis this bad, telling him to just move on and find someone else is like talking to a brick wall. So if you can't do that, you can keep the lines of communication open I guess (if you think you can handle it without turning into Mr Feelings again), but in the meantime work on becoming the kind of ideal guy described on this board.

Maybe the most important thing you'll learn from this board (if you're ready to hear it), is that the "AlphaMale" is the ideal way for a guy to be not only because that's the kind of guy women dream of, that's secondary. It's the ideal way to be because it's the most fun and satisfying way to live. It's knowing that when you're an old man on your deathbed, you'll be able to look back on your life with pride and say "I really did it all. I LIVED. And I have no regrets." That's one of my long term goals (hey, goals involving your deathbed are as long term as it gets).

And if you want this woman to look at you someday and say "damn, why I should have grabbed him when I had the chance, look at him now!", then that's the kind of guy you want to be.

 

[lildevil]

Nice nice you just made me go vomit..........OK im back :kick: :cuss

LOOk I know you want to be romantic and that you wanted to declare your love for a girl and really .The last time i did that. I got rejected but you know what i was 10 and from then on i never declared my love to a girl like this. :nono:

okk So When its someone going to fricking learn that you dont do this sht.It just shows how some men get when their desperate.so sad.

Next time why dont you tell her you want to marry her maybe shell drop dead.

Hey...Shakespear called he told me to tell lover boy to stop Plagiarizing not before smacking you across the head...i had to tell him wrong number.

 

[blueguy]

Ok..................................................... you're toast.

 

[julym]

Thanks for all the responses, and for reading. I really needed to get it out of the system. All of your advice is well taken. I knew it on an intellectual level actually, but I never seem to be able to implement the DJ strategies, because I'm extremely shy.

Well, the feelings in that message were and still are genuine. But it's silly isn't it!? I feel awful right now--about having sent it to her. I told myself many many times to cut off all ties with her but I didn't listen. Or perhaps it's the whisky that did me in. I still have a hangover...I haven't been so drunk for quite a while.

Yes I'm toast. But I was toast even before I sent out the message. In my drunken state I just felt, what the heck it can't get any worse than this. So I unleashed my "love propaganda."

I shall never ever give so much power to any woman over me again. I hope I will stick to this fundamental principle, and to some of your advice. I need some real distractions--some of you suggested playing sports with buddies. That may be an idea (though I'm not sportive generally). But yes, distractions...

Thanks for reading.

 

[dynamicallyidle]

To the above letter, we've all done this before. But it just does not work

This will NOT get the girl to like you. It will have exactly the opposite effect. Sorry bro. Play hard to get. Know that no one girl is worth this much, and embrace the truth that there are many girls out there for you.

 

[wayword]

I've edited my response like, 5 times. I truly don't know what to say.

This is like a retarded 5-yo in a wheelchair asking you to beat him up. I wouldn't even know what to do, either...

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

I used to use that tactic all the time... thinking, if I let the girl know how I feel, she'll come to her senses and go out with me. UH UH! Never worked, and never will work. You write these letters becuase that's the way it's done in Hollywood, guy loses girl, guy writes sappy letter - sends flowers - begs - etc... , girl falls in love for guy.

Doesn't work that way. Take it from someone from experience here... she will run away from you now, and FAST. Sorry bro, I know your intentions are good, but that will never work.

 

[onyx]

i remember when i wrote a letter too letting her know how i felt, i feel pretty embarased about it now i think back those 4 or so years. I still chat and laugh hard with the chick i sent it to now about what i said, and things she said. Best bet is forget about her, don't even try to contact her

 

[hamelech]

I empathise with you I've wrote and said some corny stuff like that and meant it...and actually those feelings are still buried deep inside...deep inside...Women want to be the emotional ones...If you're dumping all your insecurities on her, daydreaming about taking moonlit walks and cooking dinners for her you've taken the role of the woman...therefore only leaving the unfilled role of the man for her...Women don't want to be the strong level headed ones and both of you can't have PMS...So man up.

 

[Brando SC]

I too have been here. Many times. I don't know why i continue to resort to the letter. In all honesty the concious part of my brain is telling me that i'm going to get something out of the letter, but then i think about it deeper. My subconcious tells me that i'm writing the letter because i have all these bottled up feelings and thoughts, yet nowhere to put them. Keeping them inside kills me, so i write the letter to let everything out, and kind of dispose of them. There's always a glimmer of hope that something could happen, and you cling to that with all your might. But i guess it's just something you've got to do because you have nowhere else to turn. But i do think i'm getting better about the letters. The last one i wrote basically just described the whole relationship from day one. The events and feelings along the way, the confusion, the joy, the great times. Then at the end i just explained to her how much she's had an impact on me, and that i just want her to know that i'll never forget her, and i wish her all the best. Now she's getting married, so is life. I don't know, i just really liked that letter more than any one i've ever written, just cause it was so honest, but not so cheesy and classic you know. I don't know, if you want to read it just PM me and i'll see what you can do. I don't know what i'm continuing to talk about this, maybe because something still burns inside me about it and i just want some input. But anyway, i totally feel for you man. But letters just don't work with girls. The only thing they help is you getting your thoughts out.

 

[comote]

You should not do this . . . God knows I've done some afc stuff and even think some of it is not too bad, here is where this goes too far.

1) Don't talk about how her actions "pain" you, know girl wants to be with someone who is "pained" to be with them. If anything talk about how the times when you were together were great.

2) If she doesn't want to be with you, Game over, that's it, that's the end . . . the best thing you can do is let it be.

3) don't try and reason with her about how she said this and that, and now she is not living up to it, nobody wants to be with somebody that is holding them under a microscope.

The onle thing you can ever do to keep a woman is make sure that she feels attraction for you and happy when she is around you. Those are the keys.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Rule #1: Never reveal mushy feelings towards a girl in a letter. Of course you will hear them say how sweet and romantic this stuff is....however, it turns them off....fast.

Rule #2: Never directly tell her you like her or have any feelings for her. Again, they will say this is so sweet and romantic, but in most cases they will go running for the hills.

In the end, if you want to form a relationship with a girl, you got to start it slowly and show them you like them through UNSPOKEN AND UNWRITTEN actions. When you suddenly write a love letter or reveal all your feelings to them verbally, it seriously scares them if they were not expecting it. Never come out of left field.

Invite her over, meet up with her places, kino, etc..but NEVER suddenly reveal your feelings. Save the mushy stuff for your 1 year anniversary.

 

[flexion_]

I think this is beyond advice. Oh my god - is probably the only appropriate thing to say here.

I hope this a good learning experience for anyone serious in reading the DJ bible for the first time.