You have one option only. Become a man worth of respect. You are not that at present.
Volatility is the mark of an insecure man who hasn't paid enough attention to how he handles his relationships. You are behaving like a child.
Growing up and becoming a man who garners respect involves training yourself to keep your emotions in check and developing an internal locus of control. Right now you are reactive. Do you know who else is defined as reactive? Women and children.
The ONLY way to develop into this kind of man is through awareness and practice. Next time you observe yourself emotionally, reacting, take a deep breath and say to yourself "I can handle this like a man with self-control". In this way you will interrupt the pattern that now has control of you.
A measured, thought-out response to another person's disrespect toward you is highly preferable to an angry outburst. In place of an angry outburst, a man should effect a ruthless, measured response. That means you don't act or react until you've digested the transgression and decided to take a specific action based upon what you deem will be most beneficial to you and even the people around you.
Women need to be disciplined and sometimes punished. Even they know this, deep down, although few will admit it. They get a thrill when they are disciplined by a man who has self-control. They recoil in fear when disciplined out of rage.
A man has one tool and one tool only to discipline a women. This tool is the removal of attention. Removing your attention from a woman hurts her. It gets her attention and causes her t straighten up her act. If it doesn't have this effect on her, she needs to be put out of your life.
Never, ever, EVER discuss punishment with a women. Just do it. Back away and let her feel the pain. IF you engage in discussion, you lose.
Finally, a woman in fact SHOULDN'T respect you if you are volatile. She should leave. Volatile men are selfish, childish, and dangerous.
Having said that, there can be times when showing anger to a woman is effective and is the right thing to do, but you do it in a controlled manner, throttling it out with intent as if you're using a valve. Just like in a steam engine, you want that steam to do useful, directed work and not blow up the entire works.
A man must be head and shoulders above a woman, and in fact all women NEED a man who she considers above her. If you react to things emotionally like all women do, she loses respect for you. You are feeding her back feminine energy to her... a very bad thing.
Men, listen up:
Your role is to be the ROCK in the relationship. That means you are the protector (and you even protect her from your own rage), the guiding light, the guru, the decision-maker, and the director of the relationship. She must have an innate understanding that SHE is conforming to YOU. She is the clay, and she must be made to conform to your life and your kingdom.
Within those parameters she is free to relax into her feminine core and she will be in natural submission to you. You are also free to show her kindness (in measured quantities) and protection because she knows instinctively that she is there to conform to you, her KING, and you are creating that exciting push-pull of dread and affection.
Right now, OP, you aren't worthy of respect from a woman. Get on the path to becoming a non-reactive architect of your life. You don't have to start out perfectly. Just getting on that path and striving toward developing yourself into a man who garners respect is enough. Just step onto the path with decision. Learn how to garner respect from both men and women equally. When men respect you, women will automatically respect you.
The rule of the day is Respond when a response serves your purposes, but don't React.
