My face is hurting my game....

[DonDan]

Guys, i dont know what to call this... But let me explain what is happening.

Basically, when i meet new people, they always get the impression that i am either angry, sad, or depressed by looking at my face. i dont know what to do?!?! FU!CK!!!

I cant help myself... This has been a problem all my life... When i begin talking to someone, i can slowly feel my eyes tense up, my face get really tense, and my eyes begin to turn red (thats the part they think im sad). And i dont know how to cure this problem of mine.... Everyone i meet, everyone that sees me, their first impression of me is that i am not a very "nice" looking guy. And i hate that. I just cant help the way my face looks when i am just their with a regular expression, i cant help it if it looks like i am angry.... But i literally feel my whole face tense up and its not as relaxed and the feeling actually sparks a emotion into my head which actually CAUSES me to feel unhappy inside as well... So yeh... how do i fix it? Because I also went into a job interview, and the guy who was helping me get the job told me that the manager didnt see me as a happy guy, he said that she said i seemed pretty upset, and sad, and depressed about something.. And i didnt seem happy. And thats why i didnt get hired because they needed people to be able to provide good customer service....


So i cant get jobs or women now... I am seriously needing help..........i want to cure this... I dont get it, i can just be there sitting there listening to someone, even someone i am absolutely comfortable with, ANYONE, and my expression and my look just looks sad or pissed off.... I want to seem happy.

 

[WaterTiger]

Take a chair, go sit in front of a mirror and smile. It doesn't matter if you look like Brad Pitt or Ernest Borgnine. Smiles are good on every face. Try big smiles, little smiles, sly smiles, crooked smiles and any other you can think of. Practice differnt emotions in the mirror. Make an angry face, then smile. Make a frightened face, then smile, make a depressed face, then smile. See how the smile lightens your face?

As to the tension when meeting new people, I think you are assuming rejection. You think people won't like you and you are readying yourself for the rejection. Self fulfilling prophesy.

Smile. Do it all day. Smile at total strangers, smile at the store clerk, smile at the bus driver, the mail man and who ever else you meet. Smile at the person who talks to you, smile and wave at the ones who don't. (that always ticks them off!) Get out of the habit of having a sad/angry/depressed face.

 

[DonDan]

Sounds like a great idea. Maybe the smile thing will make a dramatic appearance for myself and my first impressions to people i meet, because to be honest i RARELY smile..... Prolly like 5 times a day... I mean, i dont wanna seem fake and smile but maybe i should start being fake... lol....

 

[driveon]

Often times, when you think you're coming across as angry, sad, or depressed it's because you are and you're just not aware of it consciously. Try thinking about what it would be like to actually be laid-back, happy, and social.

Another thing that really works well is to wish the people you meet joy, happiness, and laughter..... in your head, don't say it out loud. when you walk up just think "i wish this person joy, happiness, and laughter... it makes things easier

 

[DJinTraining06]

Guys, i dont know what to call this... But let me explain what is happening.

Basically, when i meet new people, they always get the impression that i am either angry, sad, or depressed by looking at my face. i dont know what to do?!?! FU!CK!!!

I cant help myself... This has been a problem all my life... When i begin talking to someone, i can slowly feel my eyes tense up, my face get really tense, and my eyes begin to turn red (thats the part they think im sad). And i dont know how to cure this problem of mine.... Everyone i meet, everyone that sees me, their first impression of me is that i am not a very "nice" looking guy. And i hate that. I just cant help the way my face looks when i am just their with a regular expression, i cant help it if it looks like i am angry.... But i literally feel my whole face tense up and its not as relaxed and the feeling actually sparks a emotion into my head which actually CAUSES me to feel unhappy inside as well... So yeh... how do i fix it? Because I also went into a job interview, and the guy who was helping me get the job told me that the manager didnt see me as a happy guy, he said that she said i seemed pretty upset, and sad, and depressed about something.. And i didnt seem happy. And thats why i didnt get hired because they needed people to be able to provide good customer service....


So i cant get jobs or women now... I am seriously needing help..........i want to cure this... I dont get it, i can just be there sitting there listening to someone, even someone i am absolutely comfortable with, ANYONE, and my expression and my look just looks sad or pissed off.... I want to seem happy.

I get that alot too man, can never figure out why. Sometimes ill be in a great mood and people in my job act as if im upset or something. I am quiet at work, but so r alot of other guys i work with and they dont get that. It's always baffled me. I think it is partially us and our demeanor, but i def think face has soemthin to do with it. My natural face is so serious and sad looking. I can be talking and lauhging for 20 mins wit someone, then i turn to my computer and work and someone occasioanlly will say wats the matter? or something of that nature. I dunno i dont smile when i am concentraitng on somehtin, isnt that kinda weird to smile when ur by urself? I def hear u on this one tho.
I got good friends and a gf so my life is fine, its just people who dont know me always immediately think im sad. Im 5'6'' and look boyish. I suspect if i was 6'4'' with rugged looks, peole would think i was the strong silent type. Go figure.

 

[Charm]

SHow us a picture of your face.

 

[underdog]

I get this too weird huh?

 

[Celadus]

I have the same problem. I'm a pretty intense person and think a lot. I carry a lot of tension in my mouth and eyes. The more I think about carrying the tension the more it happens. You might want to try some relaxation stuff when you are alone so you learn what a neutral expression is supposed to feel like. Smiling is a good place to start but don't rely on it too much or you just develop a nervous smile. WaterTiger gave good advice. Might want to try this drill someone gave me on a martial arts forum. A lot of nervous tension is the result of holding your breath.

"Valentin Vasiliev (brother of Vlad) once taught us extreme facial relaxation which might be a foundation exercise that can set you up well for whatever additional more specific topical work you might do for your condition (such as Larry's suggestion above).

Valentin's extreme facial relaxation work: stand upright, natural posture. Hands at sides. Now just relax your face totally - every single part of it. Without moving or drooping your head or neck. Forehead, eyebrows, eyelids (let them do whatever they want to do when you relax), nose area, jaw, cheeks, just let it all go. For breathing in this, don't even worry about the standard Systema in/nose;out/mouth pattern. For just 10 seconds or so let your face TOTALLY GO SLACK. You should feel like your face is melting off your skull. Ten seconds or so.

You should look rather UGLY or you aren't doing it right!

There's a more advanced aspect to this if you can do the above well but I don't fully understand it so won't write about it more. Even the basic form (above) is a cure for lots of stuff including jet lag and insomnia."

I have a hard time getting my face to go slack but the basic idea is to release the tension in your face somehow. If that doesn't work, you probably just have an ugly mug.

 

[funketekun]

im also like you.
i was born like this. so i cant do anything.

 

[musclyjerk]

Anti-depressants would probably do the trick, and you will probably get people commenting 'You're looking happy!' and being far more receptive and interested in talking to you - not just women, but people in general.

You're probably mildly depressed, down, sad .. perhaps you don't realise it? Read up on mild depression and some things might 'click' in your head.

Most people think they feel 'normal' because they have felt felt like it for such a long time. There's not a lot you can do except seek professional help.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[Doggystyle]

Smile, laugh, nlp, tft/eft, hypnosis, exercise, music, films, sleep....whatever to get you in a good mood.... and don't worry what people think of you

 

[CrunchyNut]

Be Happy

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Just noticed this thread. I think I have the same issues with my face and also think this is hurting my game. I'm reviewing this whole thread here. Karmasutra brought it up on a link on that other prize thread. Good stuff here.

To relax my face, I occasionally will just smile when no one is looking (haven't done this often though), or I may roll my eye-balls to the back of my eyes and put my hands on my eyes to ensure the whites of my eyes show to the front while my eye balls are pointing up, and stick my tongue out as far as possible - so I look like a white eyed guy with a tongue sticking out - do this a few times and your face feels relaxed -- and sometimes it's useful if you do this infront of a camera or crowd of people in the comfort of your car - you hit two birds with one stone, you relax your face and you work out the kinks that you dont care what others think about you.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Because I also went into a job interview, and the guy who was helping me get the job told me that the manager didnt see me as a happy guy, he said that she said i seemed pretty upset, and sad, and depressed about something.. And i didnt seem happy. And thats why i didnt get hired because they needed people to be able to provide good customer service....


So i cant get jobs or women now... I am seriously needing help

I love it . . .:kick:

 

[navyseal2101]

I found that if I fake a smile at first I will subcounciouslly smile for real, so thats what I do, but oblvioslly only smile at first, then be a bit more serious or youll be creepy.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

bump.

 

[SaucyBoy]

Purposely raise your eyebrows when you talk. That takes away most of the tension in the forehead. If you crunch down your eyebrows that's indicating tension.

Simple to say, but smile. Smile so it affects your eyes. Certain muscles in the face need to be relaxed to allow a smile to turn from a smirk into a real smile with meaning.

I had to practice this in the mirror. Just do it in private.

When you see an attractive woman (any anywhere, my rule) give the eyebrow flash (quickly raise your eyebrows) and then look her right in the eyes and smile as you have practiced. Wow, some stop to talk to me!

Your facial muscles will get used to a smile. I thought that people that smiled all the time were kind of stupid. Some might think that, and they are all men, so who cares?

If you have issues with your front teeth you'll need to get that addressed. Even if you don't have a perfect smile, you'll see a difference. Most women are stressed out and feel that men are bastards. You'll show them differently.

I've had some say I made their day with my smile. I've even developed a smile with a slight glance that seems to really get attention. As I'm walking by I smile and follow them for a couple of seconds with my eyes. It's a subtile form of flirting, and you haven't said a word.

I flirt all the time now. It's never overtly sexual in most cases. I tend to prepare women I know to the fact that I'm sensual. They KNOW I would like to sleep with them and that's attractive. Never make it too much too fast.

 

[Dongfu]

Guys, i dont know what to call this... But let me explain what is happening.

Basically, when i meet new people, they always get the impression that i am either angry, sad, or depressed by looking at my face. i dont know what to do?!?! FU!CK!!!

I cant help myself... This has been a problem all my life... When i begin talking to someone, i can slowly feel my eyes tense up, my face get really tense, and my eyes begin to turn red (thats the part they think im sad). And i dont know how to cure this problem of mine.... Everyone i meet, everyone that sees me, their first impression of me is that i am not a very "nice" looking guy. And i hate that. I just cant help the way my face looks when i am just their with a regular expression, i cant help it if it looks like i am angry.... But i literally feel my whole face tense up and its not as relaxed and the feeling actually sparks a emotion into my head which actually CAUSES me to feel unhappy inside as well... So yeh... how do i fix it? Because I also went into a job interview, and the guy who was helping me get the job told me that the manager didnt see me as a happy guy, he said that she said i seemed pretty upset, and sad, and depressed about something.. And i didnt seem happy. And thats why i didnt get hired because they needed people to be able to provide good customer service....


So i cant get jobs or women now... I am seriously needing help..........i want to cure this... I dont get it, i can just be there sitting there listening to someone, even someone i am absolutely comfortable with, ANYONE, and my expression and my look just looks sad or pissed off.... I want to seem happy.

The outer is a reflection of the inner, young ass hopper. Fix the inner, and the outer will follow.

 

[SickAgain]

show your fvcking face already for judgment, criticism, and possible ridicule.

 

[vagrant]

SHow us a picture of your face.