My Experiences So Far

[yungballa]

I joined this site April of 2014 and have been learning all the material for about a little over a year. I joined this site because my whole life I was fed up with having no success with girls. I wanted that to change when I decided I wanted to make a move on a girl I had oneitis for. In the end, I never got her. But, who cares? It's all a learning experience.

And when I had just joined this site, I was a completely different person. I don't consider myself the same person I was anymore. I'm a new person. I didn't think the same, I didn't act the same. Like I said, I wasn't the same person.

When I finally joined this site and started learning more about women, I started to do better with women and improve my life overall. When I first started learning the material, I was still **** with women. An RAFC, but I was still learning.

When I first started this site, I never had a girlfriend in my life. In just seven months, I got my first girlfriend. It took me about three weeks? ~ a month and a half to get her, but I still got my first girlfriend. I was new to the school. It was a new school year and I got a girlfriend in the FIRST three months of the school year. Nothing amazing, but a big step up from never having a girlfriend in your life.

The ex girlfriend that I had easily gained was in love with me, stating I was the most she'd ever loved, and she often talked about a future with me. Oh yeah, she was HEAD OVER HEELS in love with me. Crazy love. I had my eyes on being single though, so we lasted until April of this year and I decided to end it cuz I was tired of being in a relationship with her. Nothing about her losing interest or anything. She was wifey material and everything. I just decided to leave her cuz I wanted to be single and live my own life, be free to whatever I wanted to do, game any girl I wanted to. I was bored of the relationship.


Now, before I broke up with my ex girlfriend I had nothing going for me in life. My grades were bad if not average, and all I was focused on was girls. I hardly focused on playing any sports and I would skip on opportunities to raise my grade in order to flirt with girls. Bad decision.

Before I got that first girlfriend and I moved to my new school, I was real popular with the ladies. I had girls on my **** from every grade from maybe except Senior year. I probably had around 20ish girls who were interested me.
Then, I got my first girlfriend and we lasted until April. After I broke up with my ex, I went back to gaming girls, which is the reason I wanted to break up with her. I also wanted independence.

We broke up in mid-April-ish. I spent the rest of April gaming girls. And guess what? All my efforts went to failure. Like I said, I had nothing going for me. My grades sucked, I had no passions in life. All I was focused on was girls. I was determined to get girls even if it meant risking my grades. My grades suffered horribly, but I still managed to pass my classes.

I spent the rest of the school year gaming girls and experiencing a LOT of failures. Literally, every girl I gamed was a failure. I never got not one girl.
There was one girl who was flirting with me heavy, and tried to get me to kiss her, but I wouldn't since that was my friend's ex and he was still depressed over her.

After getting CONSISTENT rejections, I was like **** it. **** girls, **** the game, **** pick up, **** everything.

Then summer break started, and I started to gain new interests and passions in life... I started growing as a person, and I stopped thinking so foolishly. I cast women away to the side. Literally, at this point in my life, my mindset started to become this: women are nothing but a waste of time. Nothing but an obstacle, a hindrance. After I started thinking like that, all I directed my focus on was self-improvement.

I cast away all thoughts and distractions of women. I stopped thinking about women, any possibilities of girls, etc etc. I stopped gaming girls and stopped trying to game girls. Basically, I started thinking that women are irrelevant. Nothing but tiny, insignificant creatures among the journey of life. I started to take my self-improvement very seriously, and didn't take NOT ONE second pondering about girls. All I was focused on was my improvement, for that was my goal in life. Away with the girls, and in with self-growth. All that matttered to me was self growth. I even started paying attention to new things, like boxing.

And now, I have one month left of summer. School starts next month for me. This whole summer I haven't had not ONE plate to spin. I haven't talked to ANY girls this whole summer. There have been a couple moments here and there where I talk to girls, but all iniate me (which happens very little... so in general I have no conversations with girls). I've dedicated my life and time this summer to just improving myself, and I just cast women away to the side as insignificant. But, it was the constant rejections that caused me to begin thinking that women were a waste of time. If I was just going to get rejected, OVER AND OVER AND OVER over the period of MONTHS??!? What's the point of even trying. Just a waste. I might as well just explore the other joys and experiences of life besides women.

I don't know if I'd be correct to say I'm going to cast women away for the rest of my life. But all I know is, as of right now I'm done with women. I'm just focused on improving myself.

 

[Anima]

Interested in another journal. Welcome to the forum, and I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

 

[amazingswayze]

Some advice for a yungballa

I joined this site April of 2014 and have been learning all the material for about a little over a year. I joined this site because my whole life I was fed up with having no success with girls. I wanted that to change when I decided I wanted to make a move on a girl I had oneitis for. In the end, I never got her. But, who cares? It's all a learning experience.

Same.


After getting CONSISTENT rejections, I was like **** it. **** girls, **** the game, **** pick up, **** everything.

Same.

Then summer break started, and I started to gain new interests and passions in life... I started growing as a person, and I stopped thinking so foolishly. I cast women away to the side. Literally, at this point in my life, my mindset started to become this: women are nothing but a waste of time. Nothing but an obstacle, a hindrance. After I started thinking like that, all I directed my focus on was self-improvement.

Same.

But, it was the constant rejections that caused me to begin thinking that women were a waste of time. If I was just going to get rejected, OVER AND OVER AND OVER over the period of MONTHS??!? What's the point of even trying. Just a waste. I might as well just explore the other joys and experiences of life besides women.

I don't know if I'd be correct to say I'm going to cast women away for the rest of my life. But all I know is, as of right now I'm done with women. I'm just focused on improving myself.

I'll tell it to you like this. We are meant to fail. Those initial rejections hurt badly. Don't take it personally. You just started to open up your personality, just gained the courage to approach, you feel like a new person; but your results aren't congruent with your self-improvement.

I've been there.
I'll share some of my stories with you.
I'm being completely honest. :wave:

I found SS a year ago after being rejected by my oneitis crush. Damn, I was depressed after that. I had to see her everyday in school and she would always **** on me. I recoiled further into my shell. Once I found this site, my enlightenment began. I was inspired by the amazing material on this site. I was determined to be a Don Juan.

After MONTHS of studying SS, I finally gained the courage to cold approach. I don't have precise numbers but I'll tell you this; I went to the mall one day to approach girls. I was rejected at least 50 times. I got no numbers. I went home feeling hopeless. That's just one instance. I've experienced probably at least 100 rejections before I saw any success.

The learning curve for a DJ is painful. I've been applying this knowledge for a year, and only this past month did I start getting dates. I finally started getting results. I won't go in to detail, check my threads if you want to.

At times, you want to give up. The rejections are a nasty part of the process. Once you realize that it doesn't even matter, you've won half the battle. You can read all the material you want on this website, but what I learned that works the most is this; :woo:

Stop giving a crap. The success is approaching the girl, not getting the number. Only focus on what you can control.

Stick to the DJ principles, never give up again, and if you keep trying, you will notice results. It took more time then I expected but hey, it's worth it. :yes:

 

[yungballa]

I'll tell it to you like this. We are meant to fail. Those initial rejections hurt badly. Don't take it personally. You just started to open up your personality, just gained the courage to approach, you feel like a new person; but your results aren't congruent with your self-improvement.

I've been there.
I'll share some of my stories with you.
I'm being completely honest. :wave:

I found SS a year ago after being rejected by my oneitis crush. Damn, I was depressed after that. I had to see her everyday in school and she would always **** on me. I recoiled further into my shell. Once I found this site, my enlightenment began. I was inspired by the amazing material on this site. I was determined to be a Don Juan.

After MONTHS of studying SS, I finally gained the courage to cold approach. I don't have precise numbers but I'll tell you this; I went to the mall one day to approach girls. I was rejected at least 50 times. I got no numbers. I went home feeling hopeless. That's just one instance. I've experienced probably at least 100 rejections before I saw any success.

The learning curve for a DJ is painful. I've been applying this knowledge for a year, and only this past month did I start getting dates. I finally started getting results. I won't go in to detail, check my threads if you want to.

At times, you want to give up. The rejections are a nasty part of the process. Once you realize that it doesn't even matter, you've won half the battle. You can read all the material you want on this website, but what I learned that works the most is this; :woo:

Stop giving a crap. The success is approaching the girl, not getting the number. Only focus on what you can control.

Stick to the DJ principles, never give up again, and if you keep trying, you will notice results. It took more time then I expected but hey, it's worth it. :yes:

Thank you for the words of wisdom :rockon: , I'm gon let this sink into the back of my head. But, unfortunately, I don't care about being rejected. There isn't no pain or nothing. I already don't care about being rejected. I just feel as if there isn't any point of even trying to game girls if they all send IODs, flake, etc, etc. Besides, I don't do cold approach. I've only done one cold approach my whole life, haha, it didn't turn out too well. I only game the girls in my social circle that I know personally.

It's just that I've been rejected so many times I've developed a mindset where its like, "Why even try. I know they just gonna reject me along the way." I've developed a mindset where girls have just been casted to the side as unimportant and a waste of time; and that I should just spend my time enjoying my passions in life and self improvement. Basically, I'm not going out of my way to game any girls. But if a girl comes my way and she seems to be highly interested, why not? But, like I said, I haven't gamed any girls this whole summer. Even when I did try to game all ended in fault.

It's like, why even bother ATTEMPTING to game if I know the girl is gonna send an IOI or two.. then when I game she just gon fake on me eventually?

 

[amazingswayze]

haha

It's like, why even bother ATTEMPTING to game if I know the girl is gonna send an IOI or two.. then when I game she just gon fake on me eventually?

That's a negative mindset. It's much easier when girls send IOI's but sometimes you just have to go take what you want. Easier said than done but once you have done it a few times it becomes easier.

If you know what I mean...

 

[Anima]

If you're more interested in your passions than girls, then I understand and encourage that. If either of us would do that, then I'd be 200 times better of a chef and drummer, and Swayze a good rapper. Even though I think that you should continue to pursue women because of the benefits, I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong. There's a reason that it's called self-improvement.

 

[yungballa]

Yesterday I went to the gym with a girl who I've known for almost a year now.
When I first met her we was REAL flirty and I had no problems with gaming her; it was a beatiful execution of my game. I was getting good results from her too. But, she suddenly got a boyfriend from out of nowhere and we stopped talking.

Fast forward to a couple months later into this summer. One time this summer she hit me up to chill with her. So we did chill, and I was tryna run some game on her. I was kinoing, making her laugh, told stories, but she never really flirted with me. I don't recall her kinoing me back, which is funny because when I first met her SHE WAS SO FLIRTY! Kino with her was so easy to escalate. But yet here I am this summer and I can't get much reactions/signs from her. She was even telling me I would look cute with other girls and named a few.

Anyways, I was gaming her as we were together but I wasn't getting much of a reaction out of her. I brought her to my house, but we ain't do nothing. We were on a bed but we never physically advanced. I pushed her down on the bed and held her down and she was screaming for me to let her go. We were just playing around, though. I tried to escalate a little bed as we was on the bed but she said "Ew" as I got kinda close to her face so I just released her and I got up. She wasn't mad/upset or anything, but I just couldn't get any reactions out of her!

She left my house after that since she had to run home.

Fast forward to a couple weeks later. She hits me up out the blue and said she wants me to go to the gym with her. So we were together and we went on a run and I tried to run game AGAIN. I was kinoing, making her laugh, joking around and teasing. I GOT NO REACTIONS OUT OF HER! She was laughing at my jokes and everything but I never got her to kino back or show any signs of interest. At this point I felt like there wasn't much I could do.

We headed back to the gym and this is where I felt my game was having some type of effect on her. I still wanted to game her and I was running out of options, so I was like fvck this. She wanted help with some of her workouts so I helped her and we started making longer eye contact. I wanted to do my own workouts but she kept calling me to help her. She kept telling me to look at her and see if she was doing the workouts right.

She was finished with her workouts eventually and I went to go workout. When I went to go workout, as soon as I move she went to the machine next to me. I changed machines like two or three times, and she repeated this. She was even on the treadmill and I went to get water and she almost leapt off the treadmill and got right behind me as I was drinking water.

She went to go run on the treadmill until I was done with my workouts and then we left together. She said she had to go home so I walked with her for a while. We had a full on hug and she smacked my ass playfully then ran as she knew I was about to retaliate.

This girl used to go out to a lot of places, and was a very busy girl. But recently she got in trouble and cant go far from home. She even told me that she wanted to hang out with me because she said "who else lives near me that I can be with"

Basically I'm the last resort.

 

[amazingswayze]

You should game other girls.

When I first met her we was REAL flirty and I had no problems with gaming her;

I was kinoing, making her laugh, told stories, but she never really flirted with me. I don't recall her kinoing me back, which is funny because when I first met her SHE WAS SO FLIRTY! Kino with her was so easy to escalate. But yet here I am this summer and I can't get much reactions/signs from her. She was even telling me I would look cute with other girls and named a few.

Friend Zone!

Anyways, I was gaming her as we were together but I wasn't getting much of a reaction out of her. I brought her to my house, but we ain't do nothing. We were on a bed but we never physically advanced. I pushed her down on the bed and held her down and she was screaming for me to let her go. We were just playing around, though. I tried to escalate a little bed as we was on the bed but she said "Ew" as I got kinda close to her face so I just released her and I got up. She wasn't mad/upset or anything, but I just couldn't get any reactions out of her!

She left my house after that since she had to run home.

So we were together and we went on a run and I tried to run game AGAIN. I was kinoing, making her laugh, joking around and teasing. I GOT NO REACTIONS OUT OF HER!
She can't possibly be worth it.

Basically I'm the last resort.

:trouble:
Well dude, it seems like she friend-zoned you. It's amazing how interest level can change so rapidly. Always remember that you have a very limited time span when a girl likes you.
:woo:
In the future;
"Make a move today because she tomorrow she might forget about you."
:nono:
It seems like this one won't work out. Use it as a learning experience.

Not much else I can do for you. You decide if she's worth pursuing. You had a perfect chance to escalate and she wasn't about it. Not even your fault. Interested girls would not act like how she is.

In the future though, if you go in for the kiss, and she rejects you. Always give her the benefit of the doubt once. Try again. It's called "Confident Persistence"

 

[yungballa]

:trouble:
Well dude, it seems like she friend-zoned you. It's amazing how interest level can change so rapidly. Always remember that you have a very limited time span when a girl likes you.
:woo:
In the future;
"Make a move today because she tomorrow she might forget about you."
:nono:
It seems like this one won't work out. Use it as a learning experience.

Not much else I can do for you. You decide if she's worth pursuing. You had a perfect chance to escalate and she wasn't about it. Not even your fault. Interested girls would not act like how she is.

In the future though, if you go in for the kiss, and she rejects you. Always give her the benefit of the doubt once. Try again. It's called "Confident Persistence"

Yeah, I had a feeling I was friendzoned. I don't like having girls as friends. I only got like one girl buddy.

The girl intends to go to gym very often with me now, as she says. Oh well, since she's F-zoned me it's back to distancing myself from girls and just improving myself. I have no intention of finding another girl to game as of right now... I'm tired of most of these girls BS. Will update if I have another encounter with a girl, though.

 

[yungballa]

Two days ago me and the same girl went to the gym, again. We went for a run first and then hit the gym. Except this time she was a little bit more responsive when I kinoed. Just a bit, though. I still feel I am friendzoned, but yet she still wants to go to the gym with me everyday, supposedly.

Well, while we was at the gym I lifted and helped her out with her workouts.

This summer, my goals are to:

-get a bigger body
-get better fighting skills (boxing)
-improve my social skills
-improve my voice
-get rid of my acne
-more to be added soon

 

[yungballa]

Lately I've been trying to whiten my teeth. I'm gonna start to brush my teeth twice a day, since usually I only brush them once.

------------------
THE GYM & PU$$Y
------------------
Yesterday night I went to the gym and worked on my biceps, triceps (mostly) and chest. I feel like I've been stuck at the same phase for a while and it seems I haven't been building any muscle lately, although my chest slightly grows.

Today I went to the gym with the same girl that I usually do. We'll call her Girl F. Me and Girl F go to the gym almost everyday. Today, I helped her out as usual and I got some triangle pushups in. Before, I saw pushups as a waste of time but now I'm gon start doing the. Anyways, I wanna distance myself from Girl F cuz she seemed to have friendzoned me and today she asked me about her ex. Even more signs that she's friendzoned me even though I continue to tease her, be playful and kino. It's whatever though. I wanna distance myself but we go to the same gym and we live in the same neighborhood, literally not even a 3 minute walk. I'm getting tired of talking to a girl who has no romantic interest of me.

--------
SOCIAL
--------

Today I was at the basketball court and I felt more confident than usual. I've been on nofap for atleast 2 weeks and a half and I'm really starting to feel better. I feel more motivated and I have less uncontrollable thoughts.

Anyways, while I was at the court I made conversation with two new people., which is something I usually don't do. I usually just stick with people who I know and work on my relations with them. Anyways, I felt more energetic and my speech was better, I had the new people I was talking to more drawn to me. I can also feel like my voice is deepening (people say I sound like a grown man despite my being a 15 y/o).

I'm trying to be a more social person before school starts. I already see myself as a social person, but I want to become a social animal.

 

[yungballa]

Damn, I haven't updated this journal in about half a month...

Anyways, I went to the gym. Instead of going to the gym and waiting 2 days to rest, I've cut it down to going to the gym every other day. I feel that I'll benefit more from this.

I've started to see results that I want, but not at a satisfying speed. Oh well, I'm still 15 and have got a lot of growing to do.

Yesterday I went to a party. As soon as I walked in, I had all my boys surrounding me tryna talk to me. The party started and we went inside. A couple girls that I knew said hi to me.

The birthday girl who was having the party walked up to all of us and gave us hugs and thanked us for coming. She walked up to me and gave me a hug and could barely make eye contact with me. She's one of the prettiest girls in school, yet she was wearing a LOOOT of make up. Even though she's deemed like the prettiest girl in our grade, she looked unattractive to me when she was wearing make up. She couldn't even maintain eye contact with me and she seemed a little fidgety. She looked a little nervous. I wasn't nervous in her presence at all, but my sentences weren't coming out right. I've gotta work on my speech around girls who I find very attractive. I'm not anxious or self concious, my speech just messes up and I start to stutter and not say the right words that I actually wanna say. Thats definitely one I gotta work on.

I got like 5 or 6ish dances from the party, mostly the girls asked me.

Anyways, I made sure I was being social at the party. I was chatting up my friends a lot. There were a couple kids from another school in there and I was also trying to be friendly.

Girl F was also at the party. We haven't talked for about a week or so and she called me over to her to ask why we haven't been talking and we cleared everything up. I also got to dance with her, but it wasn't any grinding. I asked her if she wanted to grind on me and she denied, yet she was grinding on other boys when she told me she dislikes dancing on boys... Lmao, whatever. I'm not gonna get caught up on that, it just says a lot about what type of girl she is.

Then, there's this girl who was at the party also. I'll call her Girl A. I know she likes me (A lot) because her friend told me a while back that she had a lot of feelings for me. She even said "Hi" to me when she saw me at the party. I didn't even look her way or anything -- she just greeted me on sight. Also, we tend to playfight a lot. I even saw her staring at me while I was dancing with other girls. She looked kinda downish when she saw me. She also tends to grab me/touch my hands when I get close to her.

Then, there's another girl. We'll call her Girl N.
This girl smacked my ass at the party, and she was grinding on me twice at the party. She also got me to dance with her, but it wasn't grinding this time around.

There was a LOT of dancing going on at the party, and I'm not a very good dancer. So, while I was waiting for an opportunity to dance with a girl and everyone was on the dance floor, I literally stood there standing still while everyone was dancing. I need to work on this, because it doesn't look good.
Eventually, I grasped the concept and just starting dancing (just a little bop)
to not look like I was a loser or nothing.


The party was overall fun! I had a lot of fun with my friends and I got a couple dances. I wasn't really unhappy with anything in particular about the party. At first, I was kinda irritated when Girl F said she doesn't dance on boys, but she was dancing on boys the whole night. (No one from my school though, just boys from the other school.) I decided not to poison my mind with that nonsense, so I didn't get caught up on that and I was like, haha forget it. I won't even waste any mental energy on this. Who cares?

Later in the party one of my friends that goes to my school was talking about how Girl F refuses to dance on us when we ask her and she heard. I PURPOSELY told him while she was there AND listening that he should not care and find another girl to dance with. She just gave me a look like Did he honestly just say that? Haha, it felt kinda good to say that, I don't know why. I felt good inside after saying it to her. Besides, what she did earlier in the party was a d1ck move. It's funny because when I first met Girl F she was obsessed with me. Even my girl buddy told me that she frequently was talking about me and was crushing on me hard. I could even tell. Whatever, back to to the present. Like I said, I felt good after saying what I said in her face.

Anyways, the party was overall fun!

School starts in like a week for me. I'm almost ready, I just need to work on myself a little bit more.

 

[amazingswayze]

glad you had fun. you didnt need any validation from those girls. keep up the mindset.

 

[yungballa]

glad you had fun. you didnt need any validation from those girls. keep up the mindset.

Of course. I've learned that I've just gotta disregard these females and just HAVE FUN.

I've experienced that when I go in with the mindset of thinking "OK, I'ma go and pull XXX girls." and it doesn't turn out well, I end up frustrated.

BUT, when I walk in with the mindset of "I'm just going to have fun. If a female comes along, then oh well." Then I'm not disappointed and everything goes smooth, cuz the main focus WASN'T GETTING A GIRL.

And I don't need validation from anyone in this world from myself. That's the way I like to think of things. I'm surely NEVER gonna need a lowly FEMALE'S validation. All I see around me are LOWLY females. Not saying that all females are lowly.. but just the ones AROUND me.. they're all lowly.

 

[yungballa]

A quick update today.

Over this summer, I have grown a lot mentally. I've always been a positive thinker lately, but over this summer I've really just been thinking about pushing my limits... and I really did push my limits this summer. I've done things that I've never done and exceeded any of my limits. I've never been this way in my life before. I feel so focused on myself, it feels like I'm on the right path in life.

I've been exercising more than I EVER have. I feel like I've really exceeded my limits this summmer, and I intend to KEEP pushing my limits in order to grow.

I've also learned to be a more social person this summer. I got to know a lot of people this summer and I've really fixed up on my social skills. I also stopped masturbation for good and that really helped. I just been really confient in myself lately and everything's been working fine for me. I'm still working for my dream body though and I'm getting there, but slowly. When summer started I was just scrawny with at least like 15% BF. Now I've gained a lot of muscle over this summer compared to when I started. My biceps and triceps have grown, along with my chest and some other muscles. I also notice my forearms look bigger. I've also grown a bit more facial hair this summer.

This whole summer I've just been focusing on changing myself... it's amazing what you can do to yourself, and the transformation you can go through if you just shove women to the side and focus on your OWN life.

I'm pretty much set and I feel like I'm on the right path to live my life now. All that remains is my goals and now I'm going to go out and conquer them.



---------------------------------------------

Anyways...

A couple days ago I saw Girl F and we had a short convo and when she was leaving she tapped my cheek playfully. I saw this as a flirty gesture, but I didn't overthink it. I just assumed attraction and just went on with my day.

Yesterday, I went to the gym with Girl F. I went to the treadmill and ran for a while. I waited for Girl F to do her workouts and I helped her, as usual.

After that, we left the gym and just chilled. But, this time, when I flirted with her she was actually kinoing back somewhat. It was funny. This whole time I had been trying to game her but she never kinoed back, then when I decided to ignore her for a day or two she tries to patch everything up and now she's trying to flirt with me. Anyways, it felt like I was raising her interest and I had some good kino in. Nothing big, but it wasn't anything small. Just a decent amount. She seemed pretty responsive, too. It seemed like I was raising her interest overall. I'll just have to wait and see what happens in our next encounter, if there is one.

I have no plates as of right now, but I'm not concerned about having plates. That's not what I focused my summer on. My summer's focus is on me, and just working and myself and making sure that I'm happy in my life and just having fun.

 

[yungballa]

I went to the gym and this guy talked to me and we had a good conversation about jobs. Usually, I would be nervous and just be longing for the conversation to end. Today I said: why not break my comfort zone? I was uncomfortable holding eye contact with him and conversating, but I decided to break my comfort zone and talk to him.

Went to a football game today. I had a lot of fun meeting up with all my friends.

As far as girls go, I got none. I didn't even attempt to, really. I was just focused on having fun and I did.

I must say, the fact that I haven't talked to any girls this whole summer made some temptations in me boil up. At the game I wanted to game some girls, but I didn't. It didn't seem any were interested in me anyways. I didn't really speak to any girls except girl buddies.

There was this one girl in particular I wanted to talk to, but she had a guy with his arm around her the whole time, so I was like, forget it.


Other than girls I had a good time meeting up with my friends and just cracking jokes, messing around. I had a lot of fun. I can honestly say that tonight was a memorable night. I feel like this summer I've got to know a lot of people and to be somewhat more known. I also feel that my attitude has changed. I'm more sociable now. I really do feel I've grown this summer. I finally got a haircut, too.

Also, the more I lift the more I feel like I'm outgoing and more sociable, like I'm a social monster and I just don't care about anything except just doing me. It feels GOOD! My happiness is truly going up.

 

[yungballa]

Today I had my first day of school.

I've recently stopped thinking about women the same way that I had before. Before, I just thought, "Why game them if it's just a flake?" Now, I'm just thinking that I've got to correctly select my girls and just stay away from the ones that are OBVIOUS flakes.

Anyways, like I said I had my first day of school today. I was confident and had a good, fun day. I felt sociable and outgoing. This is probably the best state I've ever been in my whole life. My mentality is STRONG and I've put on muscle and I'm going to get new clothes soon. What else could go better? I just feel like a totally new person, like I'm on a whole nother level of living. I feel like I've ascended onto the next level of living life, and I'm just bettering myself more and more.

I saw a few of my classes today and there weren't any fun, tbh. But, it's school. We're here to learn. So, I'm gonna try to not goof off and focus on my grades strictly this year once they start giving us work, 'cos obviously the first week of school we most likely not getting work.

I met up with a lot of friends who I haven't seen in a while and today was actually a pretty good day aside from the boring classes I got. I got some female attention, but I'm not going to go deep into females. I'm not trying to focus on females this school year. All I'm focused on is having fun and getting my grades straight, everything else is after that. My priority is FUN and GRADES.

Although, in my last class of the day me and this girl made eye contact (strong, at that) at least 2 times and I tried to make sure I flirted with her a bit. But, I wasn't trying to come on too strong or anything. As I said, I'm not too worried about girls this school year. My friends, grades and my fun come first. Which ever girls come to me; its whatever. I can't spend my high school days stupidly chasing females while I can have fun meanwhile and end school with good grades and get into a good college. It's not worth it chasing punani. Chasing punani always ends up badly.

Socially wise, I was feeling good and confident about myself. I don't really recall at all feeling nervous or anxious; matterfact it feels like I'm almost a master at socializing, or at least getting there.

I'm excited to see my classes tomorrow and what's gonna go down.

Overall, it wasn't really an exciting first day of school but it was alright. I felt good.

 

[yungballa]

Well, I went to another birthday party this weekend (Saturday) and I had a lot of fun. I got in some good laughs with my friends and we took a couple pictures.

My goal is to meet more people and become more sociable overall. I'm doing a good job on that goal so far and I intend to take it to the next level.

I got a dance from like 2 girls, and the second girl multiple times. She even grabbed me once to dance with her. She was showing interest a couple times and we flirted kinda lightly. I'll call her Girl E. Besides from Girl E, I didn't get much female attention, but I'm alright with that. As usual, I didn't come in with girls as my priority, I just came in to have fun, and I did. We danced, laughed and had a good time.

Anyways, today I went to the gym. I haven't gone in a while due to my schedule and school starting but I found the time today.

My schedule now that school starts hardly gives me any time... I still barely even have time on the weekends.

As of right now, I'm not focused on girls. I've been focused on myself all summer, but now summer's over and school has started. I'm still focused on myself, but I'm not trapped in the mentality of "why should I game girls anymore they just flake all the time". Now I just select the girls I game carefully and choose ones I know won't be a waste of time. But even with that, I'm still not focused on girls. At this current point of my life, I really need to get my grades up. Freshman year my grades were terrible, and now Sophomore year I need to do some catching up, so my grades come first this school year. So, I'm not even going to bother with girls. I'm definitely not chasing any poonani this school year. If it comes to me then alright, sure, why not? And if the opportunity presents itself I'll game whenever the timing is approriate, but aside from that: I need to be focused on myself, my life, my happiness and my grades. Everything else comes after.

Well, I always like to believe that we don't get better until we leave this site.

I'm going to leave this site now and I'll come back in December. We'll see how much has changed for me when I come back. I'm going to push myself and strive to change and improve myself, and just focus on myself. This'll be my last post for a while.

Stay strong everyone. I'll see you all in December. See ya later, SoSuave.

 

[yungballa]

I'm baaaaaack, SoSuave!



It's been a loong time since I've logged on here; a couple months.

Throught out my time when I was not on this site, I have grown a lot, especially mentally. Physically, I've lost some muscle cuz school takes up too much time, but today I went to the gym and I'm on winter break and I plan to go to the gym often.

But I've gone through a lot of experiences lately, and I've learned a lot over the time I've been gone. Mentally, I feel like a god. Nothing can faze me. I have conquered my mind.

Lately I've really been tryna expand my knowledge.

Girls wise, since I've been gone I've made small progress. When I first started learning the material to get girls back in early 2014, I was learning at a mediocre pace. Then, as the year went by, by the time it was December 2014 my game had reached its highest point. I had developed my own style and that's probably the best I've ever been. Then, in January 2015, I had a mental/confidence slip and then from there everything just went downwards. When I finished my Freshman year I was a broken man. But, with ambitions, I walked into this summer a broken man, and left this summer a repaired and even renewed man. I was way better, like I had transcended on a new level of living mentally and physically.

Now, I'm in my Sophomore year. In September, my game was terrible (lead to me getting the friend zone sometimes although the girls had shown me IOIs at firsthand). I knew how to talk to girls, what to say, what not to say, blah blah blah. But there was just one element missing: kino. I had all these girls interested me as this school year started and they would all conversate with me but I didn't really know what to do anymore; I completely forgot how to game! But then, time passed, and I didn't realize that I was missing kino til like later November-ish or like sometime this month.

But anyways, this month so far I've been practicing my kino. I used to be damn good at kino, but now I've lost that skill. It doesn't matter. Every time I fall, I come back a thousand times better than before.

The only disappointing thing so far is that since this school year has started, I've had a lot of opportunities with certain females but I didn't know what to do with any of them til now. So, since I've left this site in September and I've now come back in December, girls wise, I haven't made much progress, but I'm relearning everything and I'm determined to come back even stronger.

I'm on a journey to forever make myself a better man.

 

[yungballa]

This is the first post of 2016 in this journal for me! This is late as sh1t but happy new year and I hope you all are enjoying the first month of your year.

It seems as the days go by I gain more and more wisdom. I've learned a lot over these past few weeks and experienced a lot. I've got some updates to add in this journal here, though.

I've been working out at a continuous rate and I'm seeing results. This is the biggest I have ever been in my life. My shoulders; my biceps; my triceps, everything is gaining size and muscle. Honestly, I love the size I'm at right now. I feel great and I'm going to keep pushing myself further. I'm almost at my desired goal/body size.

As I work out and increase in size, I feel better about my body and myself in general. I feel I am making progress with myself. When I don't work out I feel as if I've just wasted an opportunity to improve myself, and that doesn't feel all too well. But I've been consistent in my workouts and I've been seeing the results.

As I continue to live my day to day life I like to gain more and more knowledge and I'm starting to develop more and more perspectives and viewpoints on certain things in life. There are a lot of people around me in my life who are driven by superficial and material things; and they are also driven by external validation and a need to feed their ego. I try my best not to fall to the dark side and I strive to keep myself away from that immature nonsense, and I solely focus on my reality, and I strive to keep moving forward in life and improving myself.

One thing I've learned lately is staying in the present moment. When I'm all trapped up in my head, I don't enjoy the moment as much or I can't get as much as I want out of a situation (especially when I'm gaming girls). But I've learned to control myself and just kick myself outta my head and stay in the present. It's been veery useful.

I also used to meditate at a somewhat consistent rate, but I don't really meditate often. Weeks have gone by where I don't meditate as much as I should. I'm going to try to meditate as much as I can. When I meditate my mind is completely silent and still, I can move through out the day in peace. When I don't meditate my mind isn't as silent and still as it is when I meditate; but I make sure that my mind is not conflicted; and I choose not to bother myself or plague my mind with foolish things. So either way, when I don't meditate I'm still fine and am on top of my game mentally (which shows just how far I've come as a person) but when I meditate its more like a plus; a bonus if you will (but a strong one at that).